by Abby Green
Suddenly that revelation made her heart beat fast. Perhaps she hadn’t lost it completely. Perhaps she was still in control. This was totally different from what had happened before. There was no hint of scandal.
Cesar had not touched her innermost feelings and secrets. He hadn’t, she told herself fiercely in the dark. He’d kissed her and she’d come alive. That was all. It was physical. And if anyone was long overdue their awakening it was her. She’d just got a little confused for a moment. Confused lust with feelings. Cesar was offering her a chance to explore this sexual attraction. And she realised with an almost desperate feeling that she wanted to. With this man.
What he’d revealed about his brothers and mother struck her again. That feeling of empathy. She knew exactly what it was like to want to avoid scrutiny of your most private self.
Cesar was a cynical being. It oozed from every part of him. Cynical and dark... She could appreciate why now. Lexie was cynical too—it had been branded onto her at an early age when she’d come face to face with the harshest side of life.
She’d prided herself on cultivating a sense of optimism over the years, but she knew that cynical shell hadn’t really worn away completely. She could be as cynical as him now. More so. She had infinitely more to gain from this than he could ever realise.
And when the time came to walk away Cesar could go back to his classically coiffed intellectual lovers and Lexie would have achieved a personal emancipation she’d only ever dreamed about.
It was that simple.
* * *
‘Thanks for a great day, everyone, that’s a wrap.’
Lexie let out a sigh of relief. They’d finished shooting their scenes in the walled garden and would be moving further into the castillo estate for the rest of the week.
Cesar had been absent from the set all day, and Lexie had been glad of the space to try and get her bearings and remember that she was here to work. But her assertion to herself that she’d been glad of the space mocked her.
She hadn’t seen Cesar since Saturday night, when he’d left her hot and bothered with that look. She’d felt so antsy on Sunday that she’d gone out for a long walk around the estate—and still no sign of Cesar.
After coming to the momentous personal decision that she would embark on an affair with him, she felt suddenly deflated now he’d disappeared into thin air. Without his unerring ability to distract her, and hypnotise her with his charisma and intensity, Lexie felt vulnerable.
She cursed herself for those weak feelings as she scrubbed her face clean in the empty make-up truck. It took her so long to get out of her costume that the base was usually quiet when she left. Only the wardrobe crew were still there, and the facility men who looked after the trailers. And the second assistant director, whose job it was to make sure Lexie was everywhere she needed to be and on time.
Lexie called goodnight and made her way back to the castillo. She didn’t like the frisson of loneliness that assailed her and scowled at herself.
She was still scowling when she entered the castillo and ran straight into a wall. Except this wall was warm and it had hands that came around her arms, steadying her.
The singing rush of warmth and excitement made her scowl even more as she looked up into the elusive Cesar Da Silva’s face. Damn him.
‘I was just coming to find you.’
‘Well, as you can see I’m here,’ Lexie said testily, irritated at being irritated.
Cesar whistled softly. ‘Bad day at the office, dear?’
His unexpected dry humour sparked something inside Lexie, but she pulled free of his hands before he could see it. She didn’t want him to be flirty or endearing.
‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted out, avoiding his eye. ‘It has been a long day.’ Liar, her conscience mocked her.
She felt self-conscious in comfy leggings and a loose shirt. Face clean, hair pulled back into a messy knot. For all she knew he might have been wining and dining some dark beauty last night...
Cesar cut through her feverish thoughts.
‘Those phone calls the other night...one of them resulted in me having to attend an urgent meeting in Paris early this morning, so I left yesterday.’
Lexie fought to repress the crazy lurch of relief. She shrugged a shoulder minutely and said airily, ‘Really? I didn’t notice.’
Cesar came close and tipped Lexie’s jaw up so she had to look at him. She hated being small right now. If she’d been taller she could have eyeballed Cesar.
‘Liar,’ he said softly. ‘Because I was aware of every minute I was away from this place.’
His words made air whoosh out of Lexie’s lungs. An instantaneous bubble of lightness infused her blood. She couldn’t help a rueful smile. ‘Well, your meeting can’t have been very exciting.’
Cesar shook his head. ‘It was deadly dull.’
The air sizzled between them. And just like that all of Lexie’s doubts and fears melted away again. His effect on her was ridiculous. But she couldn’t resist.
He took his hand away. ‘We hit the papers today...I thought you’d want to see.’
Lexie fought not to let him see how much he affected her. ‘Of course.’
He stepped back. ‘We can go to my apartment—it’s more private.’
Lexie looked at him as he started to walk away. ‘Your apartment?’
She walked quickly to keep up with him. He glanced at her and then took her hand, setting off a million butterflies.
‘I have my own apartment here within the castillo.’
Curious as to what it might be like, in such a mausoleum of a castle, Lexie followed him down a warren of corridors, passing the study where she’d had that first cataclysmic conversation with him.
He stopped outside a door that had a keypad lock and entered a code. The door swung open. As he walked in and Lexie followed, her hand still in his, her jaw dropped. It was like stepping into another world.
The apartment was huge, cavernous. Like stepping into Narnia from behind the coats in the wardrobe. One side was dominated by a massive wall of windows. On the other side was a modern state-of-the-art kitchen. Steel and chrome with industrial lights.
The floor was wooden—parquet, like his office—and strewn with huge oriental rugs, softening it. One corner of the room was filled with three old battered leather couches and a low coffee table. A TV and music system. Along that wall was nothing but shelves and books—rows and rows of books.
Lexie felt that pang again. She loved books and reading, but for her it was a torturous process. Remembering how Cesar had responded to her dyslexia made her melt a little more.
‘I have an office through here.’
As Lexie followed Cesar she saw another door, and glanced in as they passed to see a huge bedroom with a massive bed, sheets tangled on top. The image was incendiary and unbelievably intimate. She felt herself blushing. Would she be in that bed with him soon? Limbs entwined?
Her face was burning when he let her hand go inside the office. She was glad the lighting was dim and looked around. This was obviously a private study. Not as imposing as his other one, but somewhere he obviously spent a lot of time. Books were strewn around...papers. It was lived in. Comfortable. Messier than she would have imagined for someone who seemed so controlled.
He had some newspapers on the desk and turned one around to face her. Carefully keeping her expression neutral, she read the headline.
Hot! Hot! Hot! Luscious Lexie bags the world’s most reclusive bachelor and richest man!
It was more or less what she had expected, but still a blow to her gut. She couldn’t take her eyes off the pictures. One was of them arriving at the function the other night, her hand in his. She was practically welded to his body. She hadn’t even realised that she’d been stuck to him like that. Her eyes were huge. Lik
e a deer in headlights. Pathetic.
Another showed his head bending to hers. She couldn’t remember what he’d said—something about going inside after another minute. But it looked as if he was whispering a sweet nothing. Her face was turned to his.
And one last one was a shot from inside the hotel; it must have been taken by a guest or a waiter on a camera phone. They were at the table, his arm around the back of her chair, heads close together.
Lexie felt horribly exposed, even though she was used to seeing her picture in the papers by now. But not like this. These showed just how enticing and fascinating she found this dark and difficult man. She was relieved that there didn’t seem to be any pictures from the square. Even now those moments felt raw.
Cesar was perched on the edge of his desk, one powerful thigh in her eyeline, distracting her.
His voice sounding far too smug, he said, ‘They look convincing...although you’d be more used to this sort of thing than me.’
Feeling prickly at his tone—obviously the experience had been far more cataclysmic for her—and hating that he evidently believed in her guilt, Lexie stepped back and blurted out, ‘I had nothing to do with ending up in the tabloids with that man.’
Cesar frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
Lexie started to pace, agitated. Dammit, she didn’t have to explain herself to this man. But...treacherously...she wanted to. Even if Cesar wasn’t really interested.
She stopped pacing and faced him, crossing her arms in a classic defence pose. ‘I didn’t have an affair with that man.’
His eyes narrowed on her. ‘So how did it come about?’
‘Jonathan Saunders...’ Lexie stopped for a moment. Even saying his name made her angry. ‘We’d just done a small West End play together for a few weeks. I’d worked with him years before on my very first short film. He’d been nice to me at the time—kind of like a mentor. I considered us friends... During the play he made a point of hanging out with me. Making sure I got home okay. Stuff like that.’
Lexie felt queasy to think that his easy affection and hands-off attention had sneaked under her skin so that she’d believed she could trust him. And even though she hadn’t really felt anything for him physically, she’d believed him to be a genuine friend. She’d been susceptible enough to consider that if he made a physical move she’d give him a chance. The thought made her skin crawl now.
‘After we’d finished the play he called around one day and he was in a state, saying he needed somewhere to stay. He had some story about being chucked out of his house because he couldn’t afford to pay the rent. I knew he wasn’t that successful as an actor—it seemed believable. I had a spare room so I offered it to him and he moved in for about a week.’
‘Did you sleep with him?’
Cesar’s voice was sharp and Lexie glared at him, annoyed with herself for even bringing it up. It was only exposing her even more.
‘I told you I didn’t have an affair with him.’
‘So what happened?’
‘He left early one morning, and I only found out because there was banging on the door. I’d been asleep. I figured it was him—that he’d left something behind—he’d started rehearsals for a new play. I was half asleep, and when I opened the door the street was full of photographers.’
Lexie’s face burned.
‘I was dressed in night clothes...barely awake... I discovered later that Jonathan was actually married and had had a huge row with his wife because she’d found out he was having an affair and that his girlfriend was pregnant.’
Her mouth went tight.
‘He’d known it was coming, because he’d been tipped off by his lover that the press suspected something, so he cultivated me. Made friends. Got me to trust him so that he could use me to be the fall guy when he wanted to protect his real girlfriend. He was terrified they’d track her down.’
Lexie sighed.
‘His lover was the wife of a prominent Conservative cabinet minister; she wanted to avoid scandal at all costs. He figured I was a better prospect to throw to the ravenous press and he set me up well—living with me for a week, letting them believe we’d moved in together.’
Lexie looked at Cesar.
‘I hadn’t even known he was married. He’d said nothing at all about his wife. Or kids.’
‘Why didn’t you defend yourself once you knew the truth?’
Because she hadn’t wanted to give the press any excuse to look into her background in case of what they might find.
A feeling of déja vu struck her. Here she was again, feeling the urge to trust, to believe. But if the last few minutes of rehashing the events of that unfortunate period told her anything it was that she couldn’t trust. Not really. So she shrugged minutely. ‘I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire...attract even more attention. And I felt sorry for his wife and kids.’
She avoided his gaze. At least that was part of the truth.
There was something achingly vulnerable about Lexie as she stood in front of Cesar with her arms crossed so tight. He might have told himself before that he couldn’t care less what she’d done, but right now he did care. And the fact that she hadn’t slept with that guy made a tightness ease in him. Even as he wanted to find him and punch him. And that surprised him. Women didn’t arouse feelings of protectiveness within him, a desire to avenge them. He shouldn’t care.
A second too late Cesar saw that her eye had caught one of the other newspapers that had been delivered. A different headline: Cesar Da Silva’s long-lost family!
Before he could stop her she’d reached out to pull the paper free. On the cover were recent photographs of all three men: Cesar, Rafaele and Alexio. And another of their beautiful mother. Shining out from all four photos was the undeniable genetic link of their green eyes.
Cesar stood up. Tense.
Lexie said slowly, ‘That’s where your green eyes come from. She was very beautiful, your mother.’
‘Yes, she was,’ Cesar said tightly, his skin prickling at having Lexie looking at the blatant evidence of his mother’s lack of love for him. It made him feel raw again when he thought of the other night—how Lexie had all but run from the table in the square. When his irrational feeling had been that she’d seen the darkness in his soul and was repulsed by it.
Lexie gazed at him now and all he could see were those blue eyes. Something in him tightened when he saw the compassion in their depths, but it didn’t make him want to run.
‘Well,’ she said a little awkwardly, dropping the paper down, ‘I should go. I have an early start again tomorrow.’
When she turned to leave Cesar rejected it with every fibre of his being. ‘Wait.’
He reached out and put his hands on her elbows, pulled her into him until their bodies were flush. The palms of her hands landed on his chest and his entire body thrummed with need.
His eyes roved over her face, as if learning every tiny detail.
‘Dios,’ he muttered. ‘You are so beautiful.’
Lexie tried to duck her face. ‘I’m not.’
‘You are...’ Cesar’s ferocity made her look up. ‘...stunning. And I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.’
Lexie felt the excitement in her blood obliterating the scary empathy that had come as soon as she’d seen the picture of Cesar and his half-brothers and mother. She’d felt the tension in his body.
Cesar’s head dipped and his mouth found hers unerringly. She fell headlong into the flaming pit of the kiss. It burnt her up from the inside out, from the depths of her being.
This was right. She felt it in her bones. She trusted this, whether she liked to admit it or not. Her hands gripped his biceps in order to stay standing, and she came up on tiptoe, straining even closer.
Cesar undid her hair and she could feel it fall loose behi
nd her shoulders. He was backing her towards something, and when she felt something solid behind her she realised dimly it must be his desk.
Still their mouths were clinging to one another, their tongues tangling in a heady dance. Cesar lifted Lexie effortlessly until she was sitting on the desk. Instinctively she hooked a leg around one of his and heard his growl of approval as it brought his body into contact with hers.
The hard press of his arousal against her belly only set off another spasm of lust deep in her body. And between her legs. This was infinitely preferable to trying to rationalise her thoughts and feelings.
His hand was between them, unbuttoning her shirt. Lexie felt hot. Yearned for air, a breeze. His touch. When it fell open he pushed it off one shoulder, taking her bra strap with it, tugging it down her arm.
She wanted only one thing: more. When Cesar took his mouth from hers they were both breathing harshly. Somewhere she heard the ring of a phone—a mobile. She tensed.
He said gutturally, ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Lexie felt dazed, despite the intrusion of the phone. ‘I want to see you.’
Standing up straight for a moment, Cesar undid his buttons and opened his shirt. Lexie closed her eyes when the intoxicating scent of man and musk hit her nostrils. Like when she’d first seen him.
When she opened them again they widened. He was magnificent. Broad and hard muscled. Dark blond hair dusted his chest, drawing her eye down to where it bisected the ridges of his abdomen muscles in a line and then disappeared into his pants.
And just like that Lexie became aware of being out of her depth. Overwhelmed. She knew that if they didn’t stop now this would end in bed, and as much as she thought she wanted that she wasn’t sure if she was really ready. And she realised a small part of her needed to know that he would stop.
She put a hand on his chest and felt him tense. It almost made her forget her intention.
‘Wait...’ Her voice felt rough, breathy. ‘This is moving so fast...’
