by J. C. Allen
It didn’t seem fair to leave things there. I worked to catch my breath as I glanced up, seeing Derek as he sat at the edge of the bed. I could see he felt as conflicted as I was and I sat up, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered, leaning against my touch. “I want to stay with you all night. Just let this be our moment. Our night. Our love.”
“I know,” I said, squeezing him tighter. “I don’t want you to leave either. It doesn’t seem fair, does it?”
“Not at all,” he agreed, resting his cheek against my arm.
But life wasn’t fair. And more than that, the Black Falcons certainly weren’t fair—the notion that they would let us have this moment was not only laughable, it was the exact opposite of how they would actually behave.
“Don’t take longer than you need, okay?” I said, running my hand through his hair. “I don’t want you to overwork yourself. And I want you back for a round three later.”
“I’ll try not to go so hard,” he said, laughing before sighing. “But Eve, worry about yourself tonight. Get some sleep and don’t wait up for me if you can help it. OK? I’ll be back. I promise.”
“I’ll try to,” I said, even though I knew full well until he walked back through those elevator doors, I wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep.
I watched as he slipped from my arms, moving to get dressed. Already, I could feel how cold the bed suddenly felt without him. I pressed my knees to my chest, holding them as I watched him put on his pants and then his shirt. I didn’t want to leave the apartment; hell, I didn’t know how well I could stand right now.
I hated how quickly things had suddenly changed. The date had been amazing, the night had been amazing.
And then, with a single glance at the clock, we had gone from making love to our love making ending.
I reminded myself that once Falcon and his club were gone, things would continue to be this amazing. I had to just wait this all out and help however I could. Once this was all done, we could go on a roadtrip, stay here, travel through the city freely, or even go to Italy like his photo showed.
But “once this was all done” was not going to happen tonight. It might not even be happening until next week. It might not ever happen if the Falcons get to him…
I took a deep breath, glancing back at Derek, seeing that he was almost dressed. I wanted to say one last goodbye, but thought better of it. It already wasn’t easy to watch him leave after such an amazing night; getting up and saying goodbyes again would just hurt us. I would just say “see you later” or something… something weak like that…
I wanted to scream to stop him. How could we know if this wasn’t a trap set by Falcon? And if it was a trap, what did that mean for Derek? Would he be able to handle it? What if it was too much for just him?
We should’ve given him backup. We—yes, we, I’m part of the Saviors now—should have sent someone with him. The Falcons wouldn’t care about five low-level Saviors on their bikes. But Derek?
I wondered if I should say something, but then thought better of it. They had all discussed it together. Sending in more men right now was unnecessary. Who knew if he’d find anything anyway? Maybe it was all just a warning so far. Maybe this whole chase wouldn’t result in anything.
Or maybe this will kill him.
A warning wasn’t good, was it? What could the Falcons have planned next? I felt dread settle once again in my stomach and hated just how familiar of a feeling it had become.
I chewed my lip, hating how worried I suddenly felt. Again, I felt how unfair it was that I had just went from being on cloud nine to feeling this awful dread.
If nothing else, it only intensified and increased the hatred I had for Chuck, Rock, the Falcon, and anyone else associated with that club.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” Derek said, walking back into the room.
I guess we aren’t going to avoid our goodbyes. I guess…
It’s better this way. You’d regret it if something happens.
If? Or… when?
“Be safe, please,” I said. “We don’t know what you’re going into.”
“I will be, I promise,” he said, patting the side of his leather jacket. “I’ve got something just in case.”
Say no more.
“Alright, that’s good, I guess,” I said, looking down at my hands.
Nothing was truly “good” in this spot, but I had to go with it.
“Once this is all over, you and I will go away somewhere, get away from all of this, I promise,” Derek said, kneeling down, taking my face in his hands. “I know how bad this all seems now.”
“I know, but Derek, be careful, and I mean it,” I said, hating that he felt he had to make me feel better when he was the one going out into a possible danger. “I trust you, Derek. I’m not getting cold feet or anything, just… I know how crazy you can get sometimes about vengeance and all that. Which is good, but… just control it, OK? I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“Good,” he said, grinning lopsidedly. “I don’t think I could do this without your support.”
“You’ll always have it,” I said, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “Go kick some Falcon ass.”
“I will if I find any,” he promised, standing and grinned. “I love you, Eve.”
“I love you too,” I said, smiling warmly.
I love you more than anyone I’ve ever known, Derek.
I watched as he left the room and waited for the sounds of the elevator door to open and close before falling back against the bed. I clenched my eyes shut, grasping the necklace at my neck for strength.
Things would work out. I just had to continue to believe that things would work out.
I decided that I would save “The Land Before Time” until he was back and we could watch it together. I know I had gotten it for my own sanity, but with Derek’s safety, there was no such thing as sanity.
I closed my eyes, focusing on the necklace as I worked to relax myself. The condo suddenly felt so empty without Derek, the bed cold with just me, but I somehow found strength. The thought of a future with Derek helped. I could be strong for Derek, just as he had been strong for me. There would definitely be a future.
Right?
5
Derek
It was an awful situation. There was no other way to describe it.
Having to leave Eve after just an amazing day and night felt like the worst sort of crime. It was quite possibly one of the best dates we’d ever been on… and because the Falcon wanted to play some silly game like the Riddler, I had to leave her.
As I stood in the elevator, I clenched my fists. Every second in that elevator—every moment that it took me that much farther away from Eve and closer to all the bullshit going on out there—just made me hate Falcon and the whole rotten Black Falcons all the more for what I was being put through.
And, as it always did, the spark of negativity ignited a cracked fuel line in my head and started an explosion of dark thoughts.
First my father.
Then my brother.
Then my wife, our child, and the rest of my otherwise normal fucking life.
And now…
Now I had to leave Eve again so that I could go hunt him down. Because if I didn’t hunt him down, Eve would join that list—assuming I didn’t get there first.
I sneered, working to catch my breath as the elevator chimed, the doors opening to the lobby. I glanced over at Clarence, now loaded with a gun that he managed to keep hidden from the untrained eye, as he offered me a professional smile and friendly wave. I tried to offer something in return, uncertain if I could achieve anything in the realm of professional orfriendly in that moment, and hoped that I’d at least succeeded in not freaking him out again. The memory of my last encounter with Clarence replayed through my mind and I began to move faster out the door, afraid that my residual anger might mean I take it out on Clarence again, even if he’d done nothing wrong.
The man my father had once called a friend.
The man who the Savage Saviors had once known as a second-in-command.
The man who’d gone off, betrayed the Saviors, formed the Black Falcons, and dubbed himself “Falcon;” baptizing his new identity with the blood of my family, my colleagues, and my friends.
Fucking Falcon.
Frank fucking Young.
The one who ruined everything for me.
For my family.
Call him whatever. So long as I could call him “dead” as soon as goddamn possible.
I took a deep breath, pulling my phone out of my pocket and started to call Roost. I had promised to give him a call before I left for the first chase, partially as a means to ensure that I wouldn’t do something drastically stupid, and partially so that it could put me in the right frame of mind. Either way, it was a necessity.
“Well, well, well,” Roost’s voice chimed on the other end. “Was wond’rin when ya would get around to callin.’”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” I answered, rubbing the back of my neck. I always felt like a scolded child when Roost talked to me like that; even after all these years. “I was out with Eve.”
“Did ya go to that outlet center I told ya about?” Roost asked with a knowing chuckle.
“Yeah, and the Medieval Times restaurant. That place was awesome,” I said, smiling as I relived the memory.
“Yeah, I like it there, too. ‘Cept the knights never choose me to give their roses to,” Roost said, sounding sulky near the end.
“Boo-hoo,” I said as I rolled my eyes. Roost would be the one to sulk over not getting a rose from a handsome knight. “I’ll spare a tear for you later.”
“Ye’re such a peach, Derek,” Roost replied.
“I try,” I said, but the tension of the moment was keeping me from pressing our little lovely conversation any further.
“Good, anyway, listen, Derek, stay on the line with me for a bit, would ya?”
“Why?” I asked with a little bit more harshness in my tone than I had wanted. “It’s not like I would keep you out of the loop with whatever I find. Do you think I’m up to something?”
“I ain’t askin’ fer information or yer loyalty, Derek Knight,” Roost began, suddenly using my full name and causing me to wince at the sudden seriousness of his tone. “Ya know damn well why I had you call me before goin’ out there and why yer staying on here with me for a bit.”
I sure did. And even though I had just thought it, it felt like a reward for putting a leash on myself, Roost was tightening the collar all the more.
“I’m going to be careful, Roost. You know—”
“Bull-fuckin’-shit!” he said with such force I pulled the phone back from my ear. “I know what yer hopin’ for out there, an’ I meant to tell ya notto do somethin’ stupid!”
“Something stupid? Who do you think you’re talking to?” I demanded.
Stop. Stop. Stop! You get so goddamn defensive when you’re mad. Slow the fuck down!
“I think I’m talkin’ to yer stupid ass! Ya know, the stupid ass that decided to crash a Black Falcons party aloneall ‘cuz ya heard that Rock be there.”
“You mean the party I met Eve at? I’m supposed to feel bad for that now?”
“No, dumbass,” Roost snarled. Pull the fuck back, Derek, and calm down.. “I’m not expectin’ ya to feel bad, but I was sure-as-shit hopin’ ya’d learn! Ya admitted after the fact that thathad been a bad idea, that ya’d gone in half-cocked and that ya likely woulda gotten yerself killed if not fer Eve. An’ that was just fer Rock! What am I supposed to think ya’d be crazy enough to do if…”
He trailed off and sighed, pausing for a moment wherein I could practically see him shaking his head at me. He’d done it often enough. Sometimes feels like a miracle that man hasn’t killed me yet.
Then, groaning, he continued.
“Promise me that, if ya see Frank, ya won’t do somethin’ stupid. Ya got a woman who loves ya now, Derek. Ya gotta think about others too. If he is there, he won’t be alone and he won’t make it easy. Ya know that, right? So… if ya see him, ya need to do somethin’ fer me and fer yer woman.”
“What’s that?” I asked, already knowing what he was about to suggest.
At least I had calmed myself down enough to be having this conversation. At least I had lowered my temper enough to know what he would want me to do and I could accept it calmly.
The question I wondered was… would I be able to do it?
Even if Roost asked me, would I be able to do what he wanted me to?
Would I be able to sit there, scouting him, watching his movements for a later strike, and—
“Run,” Roost said.
Run?
Run.
Run!
Are you fucking crazy, Roost?!?
“Roost, you can kiss my—”
“I damned well can ask that! Ya fuckin’ get that head outta yer ass, Derek Knight, and listen to me,” Roost roared over the phone. “If ya see any signs of Frank Young, ya get the fuck outta there. Pronto.”
“No fucking way!” I yelled. “This man killed everyone I love, and he’s going to kill even more of my loved ones if I don’t do something! I’m going to find him wherever he is tonight, be it a goddamn store, street, or subway, doesn’t matter! Got it!”
Roost paused for a long moment.
“Roost.”
Again, nothing. I heard his breathing, so I knew he hadn’t disconnected, but I wondered if… had he had a heart attack?
“Roost?
“Did I ever tell ya how yer old man died?”
It was my turn to pause. Roost wouldn’t have asked me such a question for the sake of taunting me. This…
This wasn’t going to be an enjoyable talk.
But I had a feeling Roost wouldn’t have asked if it he hadn’t had a reason for it.
“Not the specifics, I guess. Then again, I never wanted to know the details, either. Wasn’t he shot-up, though, like gunned down off his bike?”
“Well, pardon me fer sayin’ so, but I think this is important,” he said before taking a deep breath. “Yer old man was pumped full o’ bullets, kiddo, and he was in pretty bad shape when we found him, gunshots taken ‘pletely out of the equation. Bones busted all to shit, bruised and bloodied. Hell, his fuckin’ leathers was even mangled up something terrible. The brightest Saviors we had decided he must’ve been riding when the Black Falcons made their move. A man can survive a bullet or two, sure, but if’n that bullet yanks ya right off yer bike when ye’re rocketing along at eighty… Well, let’s just say yer pops wasn’t the sort of guy who went down easy; certainly wasn’t the sort to be caught off guard.”
An even longer pause came. I swore—swore—that Roost’s voice cracked. I had never heard him make such a sound, and it caught me so off-guard I thought he might have been choking. But just as quickly as I thought I heard it, it vanished.
“But truth be told, that ain’t the whole story,” Roost said. “Ya know that subway station yer fixin’ to head over to? Well, that’s where we found ya daddy. Or… what was left o’ him. Frank curb-stomped his skull ‘till it shattered.”
I was left breathless and speechless.
I knew my father’s death had not been a kind one and had been a ruthless one, but to hear that it had ended in such an ignoble fashion… to hear that the Falcon had done something so cruel, so gross, so evil…
“Roost,” I said, but I couldn’t get anything else out.
“We didn’t tell ya cuz we didn’t wanna bring ya back into this life if ya could avoid it, but, well, Dustin faced a similar fate. Least we know he didn’t have it as bad.”
Roost let out a long, long sigh—almost like the kind of sigh
someone made when they were trying to push away tears.
“Anyway, the point is that Frank’s got his ways, an’… and I don’t wanna bury another Knight. I don’t think I got it in me to do another one. So ya keep yer ass safe, ya hear me? That’s an order. If ya don’t like it from me, think of it as comin’ from yer daddy.”
I had no idea. I had no idea it was ever that bad.
I had…
I had no idea Roost actually cared about me as much as he had just said.
I had felt sincere love from Eve, but this was a different kind of love. The love of a brother, of a friend, of a father figure.
One love I might have gone crazy for. But two?
Two… two kept me in check.
“I…” I stopped myself, caught myself thinking about Eve, and nodded, more to myself than to Roost. “I promise. I promise Roost that I’ll run if I see any sign of him.”
“Yer a good kid, Derek,” Roost said, sounding proud that I’d actually listened. “And a far better leader than you let on.”
Now I actually let a tear shed. I was thankful my voice hadn’t quivered, but every other part of me wanted to collapse. For so many years, Roost had been like the stepdad who could never quite handle what a disappointment I had become. Or, depending on my perspective that particular day, he had become the friend who couldn’t believe what a fuckup I’d become.
But today… he was like my second brother.
“Thanks for the pep talk, Roost,” I said. “Now, I’ve got a lead to chase.”
Time to move on. Clink beers, share hugs, and give and receive encouragement later.
“Ya do that,” Roost said. “And get back to me with what you find.”
“I will,” I said, hanging up the phone and tucking it away in the inside pocket of my leather jacket.
I let out a long, long sigh as I looked up to the night sky, unusually clear and starry. Even if I hated to admit it, even if I wanted a chance to get after it with Falcon… Roost was right.
Sticking around if I came across Falcon was not a chance for a heroic martyrdom. It was just a chance to bury me next to my family. As much as I wanted to end this, it would be too dangerous to think I’d be getting the drop on him.
