by Liana Key
"Thank you for the photo," I said when he answered.
"You're welcome."
"I can't stop smiling," I said. I felt like a giddy schoolgirl. I waited for his reply. Nothing. Well, maybe he was with someone, I shouldn't read anything into it. "Okay, I'll let you go," my excitement waning, figuring I'd just acted like a fool. What had I expected, a declaration of love in return?
"I'm glad you're happy," he said finally.
"I am," I whispered, "and thanks for sharing with me. Will I see you tomorrow?"
"I'll let you know," he said.
"Okay," I replied, but he'd already ended the call. A shiver ran down my spine, giving me a momentary dose of goosebumps. I had a crazy vision of our photo being posted online, and quickly searched Facebook, Instagram, but nothing. Was I just being paranoid, did I really think he could betray me?
I cleaned up the kitchen, a nagging feeling that things didn't seem right, that I was going to somehow pay for my indiscretions. There was a knock at the door. I dried my hands and my heart raced as my first thought was he might be back. A courier stood there, a bunch of roses in his hand. He made me sign his screen. My heart was now pounding. Ten red roses. My hands were shaking, I fumbled with the envelope. In his own handwriting, How can I not love you too? My tears flowed, ridiculously, uncontrollably, sobbing. I went into the kitchen, found a vase, displayed my ten beautiful roses. I took them into my bedroom, placed them on the bed stand. The phone rang. His name flashed. I sniffed before answering, dabbing at my nose, grateful he couldn't see me blubbering.
"Cassian?" I hoped my voice sounded even, normal.
"Yes?" He paused.
"They're beautiful," I whispered, "thank you."
"I should have delivered them myself," he said.
"I wish you had," I replied. "I'm overwhelmed...what can I say...I love you."
There was a pause, then, "I wish I'd said it first," he said simply.
"Cassian," my sobs returning, "you are the most beautiful person I've ever known."
"Why are you crying?" he asked. Arggh, the innocence and ignorance of youth, I thought.
"Because I'm a silly old emotional woman who is in love," I laughed and cried at the same time.
He laughed, "I want to hold you so badly," he said. "Could I come round in the morning? Early? We never made love and I need you already."
I laughed now. "My sweet boy," I said, my sobbing under control. "Yes, do."
"I'll say I'm going for a run," he said, "so you'll have to make me work hard."
"That I can do," I promised and I went to bed the happiest woman in the world.
CASSIAN
Time marched on so quickly, it always did when I was with her. Like there was never enough time, five, ten, twenty minutes gone in a snap of the fingers. I didn't want to leave, not when she'd just said she loved me. But I had to go home.
I knew where there was a florist, it was hardly a detour, would only take a few extra minutes. I stopped and rushed in, filled out a card, paid top dollar to have it delivered within the hour, drove home, was forced to eat another meal of crumbed pork cutlets, as to avoid questioning of why I wasn't hungry. What's with crumbed meat today I wondered. At least my refusal of jello went unnoticed, everyone knows I won't touch the stuff, the texture freaks me out.
I went and opened my homework books, but spent the time looking at the photos I'd taken. She really was stunning, beautiful, and I couldn't wait to show Jakey, but I daren't send it to him. Who knows where it could end up. I'd just show him.
She rang me, and I thought, She can't have received the flowers yet, but it was the photo of us that she was thanking me for. The florist said they would text me when they had been delivered. Some messages were coming through, so I ended her call a little too abruptly. But it was only friends texting. I replied to both of them. I started on my homework, but was unable to get myself interested in the political situation of Cuba in the 60s. The florist's text came through. I smiled, but felt slight apprehension, like was it too corny. Red roses for god sake. Who did I think I was?
Nonetheless the deed was done, I couldn't retract it now. I phoned her, my fingers crossed. Her voice was strained, full of emotion, she said she was overwhelmed, said that she loved me. I felt regret, that I hadn't said it first, because in my heart I'd known I'd loved her from the time she took my virginity.
I woke early the next morning and, dressed in my running shorts and a singlet left the house, just waving at Antonia who was sitting at the breakfast bar. No need to explain, she could clearly see what I was doing.
Paola greeted me in a short satin robe and nothing else. My clothes were removed swiftly and the bed welcomed us. Early morning sex, I think I could get use to it. My energy levels were high, my stamina great, my strength and power commanding. When I thought about it, it made sense. I was fresh, I was strong, I hadn't just hit tennis balls for two or three hours or been in the gym or completed running drills. My confidence soared. Paola noticed too. She complimented me, she was impressed. We were each other's number one fan, we laughed, we rolled together, said how much we loved each other. For one morning, it felt like we were an ordinary, normal couple in love.
Chapter 4
PAOLA
I came to love working the Sunday shift, because of him. Our Sunday lunch clientele was fairly regular. It gave a nice, homely feel to the place, which I enjoyed, it was like we were providing lunch for family and friends. I know I had marketed the restaurant to the higher end of the market and that was definitely working, but somehow the Sunday lunch crowd had remained loyal and true. Caroline had a standard booking now and only missed if she was out of town. She expected Cassian to serve her, I'm sure she would be devastated if he was ever away. Today her group was a table of five other ladies, of which I knew three of them. He was working his magic, that I could see. I skimmed around the restaurant, ears and eyes open, but trying to be unobtrusive. A new waitress was on today, she'd only done two previous shifts, so I pretended to be keeping my eye on her. But it was always him I wanted to watch, only him.
Jenny lead a small group in, and my head immediately did a take back. The dark blonde hair of the girl having an instant familiarity to it. Could it be? Two boys followed her, similar heights, brown hair, both good looking. My heart was pounding all of a sudden. Jenny seated them in Cassian's zone, he was out the back somewhere. I scooted over to reception, checking the computer. A table of three had been booked under the name Nelson. Cassian hadn't said anything. Why did I feel so nervous? Instinct told me one of the boys was his cousin, the one who knew about us.
He returned to the dining room with entrees for a table of four. The look on his face as he saw them showed he was shocked. Appears I can lip read, because I saw him looking to the tallest of the boys and mouth What the fuck. But he didn't miss a beat and served his meals. I was rash, I went to their table first, curious, needing to know what this was all about. I scooped up three menus and presented myself.
"Welcome to Assisi," I said, my eyes focused on the girl. She was very pretty, her hair darker than Cassian's, but streaked with natural looking highlights. Her hazel eyes were nowhere near as bright as her brother's, but stunning no less and she had smokey eye makeup on, giving the impression she was older than sixteen. Her face was fresh, natural and she was nicely tanned. She had a simple loose white t-shirt on over a pair of dark skinny pants. I thought how tragic that this young girl had been raped. "Have you been here before?"
The one I assumed was Jakey spoke, "No it's our first time." He looked at me knowingly, his eyes scanning me from top to toe, almost a smirk on his face as if he knew we were playing a game. A game that he was in control of.
His sister cut in, "We're here for Cassian," she said, and flicked her head in his direction. "We thought we'd surprise him." She giggled.
"You're his sister?" I feigned a small degree of ignorance.
She nodded, smiling. I liked her, I warmed to her, she seemed delightful. She looked
back over at Cassian, said, "He looks pissed that we're here." And all three of them laughed.
"Please look at the menus," I said, walking around the table distributing them, "and as you're Cassian's family, please let it be on the house."
"Thanks," his sister said smiling, "but that's okay. This is Jakey's treat." She looked across at Jakey, who then looked up at me and said, "Thank you anyway." Maybe I'd misjudged him, maybe he wasn't as he appeared.
"Well let me at least get the drinks for you," I said, giving him an affirming nod. I needed to have some authority here. "I insist," I said and they all gave me orders for sodas.
He arrived at the table then and he had a look of resignation on his face. All three of them said, "Surprise." And he laughed and rolled his eyes. His sister got up and she hugged him, saying, "It was my idea. I wanted to see you in action!"
"Surely your lives can't be that boring," he jested, and he knuckle bumped both boys.
I could see Caroline looking over. I was still standing there, not doing anything about the drinks, unable to tear myself away. Cassian looked at me, I did my best to indicate I wanted an introduction without making it look like I wanted an introduction.
"I see you've met my boss," he said, and as an afterthought, "Ms Carson." They all looked at me and I smiled, though I think I was already smiling. "So don't do anything to make me lose my job," he laughed.
"We'll be on our best behavior, promise," Jakey replied, his eyes penetrating Cassian's, but he then gave the slightest of winks and grinned at him. Cassian looked away quickly, put his hand on his sister's shoulder, his eyes looking to me and said, "This is my sister Magdala." She extended her hand which I shook lightly, too lightly perhaps.
"My cousins, Raff and Jakey," he continued. Raff half stood, reached across to shake, Jakey stood tall, said, "Pleased to meet you." His handshake was firm. His eyes scanned me again. "Ms Carson," he emphasized, a devilish look in his eye, but then he looked to Cassian and I saw a look that connected the two of them. Jakey sat back down.
"So, what do you recommend, waiter?" Jakey asked, and they all laughed, and I saw Caroline's neck craning. Why wouldn't you look, they were a table of outstandingly good looking kids, the whole lot of them. Jakey with his slightly menacing look, a sexy sneer, angled cheekbones, finer than his cousin, not as appealing in my eyes, but nonetheless, a head turner. His younger brother, Raff, similar features, but not so severe, grey-blue eyes, a shyness to him, as if he always walked in his older brother's shadow. And Magdala, a natural Californian beauty, slim and tanned, maybe slightly taller than me, but she was wearing flats and I was in my heels. My heart ached for her, though she showed no signs of being a victim, she looked happy and confident and you could see the love between brother and sister, you could feel it. If I didn't know how much he loved me, I would have been envious. Well, I had been envious.
I personally brought them back their drinks, unheard of and again Caroline trying to gain my attention. They all politely thanked me, I did appreciate that, well brought up kids no doubt. I made my presence to Caroline, who had me huddling next to her, wanting all the gossip on Cassian's family. I had to oblige. He reappeared at Caroline's, to take orders for coffee. Caroline insisted they all order one, even though they'd already been through three bottles of wine and two courses. She took Cassian aside, and I could hear her asking about his sister and cousins, her hand curving over his ass, lower than she usually touched. He didn't appear to be affected, and as he moved on he lightly patted her upper back. I didn't want him man whoring himself for extra tips, even if it was an old family friend, especially because she was an old family friend.
I could see the three of them looking over, watching him, discussing, laughing. Cassian was oblivious, it was like he was in the zone, doing his thing, doing his job. He stopped by their table on his way through the restaurant, exchanged a conversation, they all laughed. I caught up with him as he was ready to bring their meals out. They hadn't scrimped, one had salmon, another clams and one risotto, two of them the priciest dishes on the menu.
"You didn't know?" I asked. He knew what I meant, and shook his head.
"I think you need to do an express menu," he said. "That way I could get rid of them faster." He gave a lopsided grin, like he knew he was in for a lot of shit from them.
"I think that's a good idea," I said loudly, as someone passed by, then in a low tone, "only Jakey knows?" He nodded and kept moving.
He presented them with their meals, leaned next to Magdala's chair and chatted. I longed to know what they were saying, but it would look conspicuous if I went back out there. I retreated through the back and came out by the bar. I'd be able to see the table from there, but pretended to Ivor the bartender I was doing an inventory on my phone. There was merit in hiring a non-English speaking Russian after all. He had no idea what I was saying or doing. Luckily his vocabulary of alcoholic drinks and coffee was spot on.
I could see them eating, talking, resting their forks, laughing. I could see the bond between them all, even the younger cousin, who I deemed shy, he was laughing the loudest. I envied it, envied that I would never be a part of it. Cassian moved to another table. And then I saw Jakey rise. I wondered if he were to use the bathroom, but he was approaching the bar. I quickly turned, picked up a pen and pad that was next to the counter and held it. I heard him say to Ivor, "Three cokes please." At least Ivor could understand that. I started writing, random numbers.
"Ms Carson?"
I turned, my pen poised as if in the process of writing down important information, my face a mask of surprise, I hoped. "Jake?" Somehow saying his name Jakey seemed too childish, but then after I'd said Jake it was like it didn't fit him. I couldn't repeat it though.
"It's pretty busy in here," he said casually.
"Oh yes," I said steadily, "Sunday's always are busy." I smiled.
"Looks like Cash is rushed off his feet," he laughed. "You know he loves working here?” I wasn't sure where he was going with the line of conversation, if anywhere. But my heart swelled a tad at that revelation. Ivor placed three glasses on the counter. He placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter.
"Please," I said, waving it away, "really there's no need. On the house." And I repeated that to Ivor, he did know the meaning of those words.
"Are you sure?" He seemed reluctant to take the money back.
"Absolutely," I said, then hoped he didn't think I was buying his silence, perhaps he thought I was bribing him. "How were your meals?" I asked quickly.
"Delicious," he said. "Just like Cash described." He laughed. I wondered if he was mocking me. He glanced at the drinks, but didn't attempt to pick them up. "Cash is a really loyal sort of guy," he said slowly, his eyes fixed on mine. "He's one of the good guys. He always puts others before himself."
I had to look away. His look unnerved me. I realized he was sending me a warning, a warning not to hurt his cousin. I fiddled with the pen in my hand, holding it between two fingers and moving it back and forth. I had to remain professional here, I had to choose my words carefully. It's like he was his cousin's protector, it was most unusual.
"Cassian is unlike anyone I've ever known," I said quietly, finding a courageous moment to look him in the eyes. "He's really one of a kind."
Jakey gave the slightest nod of his head, smiled and said, "Thanks for the drinks." And he stuffed the money into the Breast Cancer charity box that is next to the counter, boxes my mother monitors and fundraises for, gathered up the glasses and walked back to the table. I took a moment, inhaling slowly and deeply. A warning, non-threatening sure, but still a warning from a seventeen year old boy, worried about his cousin. I wondered about the depth of the relationships in this family, the closeness, and how it seemed I would never be a part of it.
CASSIAN
Magdala had been acting a bit odd that morning, asking me what time I was going to work, who would be working, what time I would finish, over chatty in my book. She kept confirming that we were going
to Grandad's ranch later, and were having dinner there. I said about ten times that I knew, that I hadn't forgotten.
Then I had got the shock of my life when I saw her, Jakey and Raff standing at a table, one of my tables, waiting to be seated. I'd just brought out some entrees and straight away I made eye contact with Jakey, mouthing What the fuck? He grinned back, gestured at Magdala as he pulled out a chair for her. She was smiling like she'd just won the lottery, so damn, I couldn't be mad at her. I sighed and carried on serving. Then the next fucking thing I see is Paola at the table, handing out menus, doing my job.
I got to their table as quickly as I could, needing to know what the hell was going on.
"Surprise!" they all said as I arrived. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. Magdala claimed it was her idea, she stood up and we hugged. "You sneaky cow," I whispered into her hair. She giggled and pinched me on the back of my arm. I acknowledged the boys, both of them grinning, Jakey with this deep stare thing going on.
I'd shown Jakey the photos of Paola the next time I saw him at his house. He'd studied each one and then rechecked them, even though they were all pretty much identical.
"Is this your type then?" he asked.
"Apparently so."
"She kind of looks like your mother," he said, and I snatched my phone off him and said, "Fuck you."
"She does," he laughed. "Dark hair, slim, the eyes."
"She fucking doesn't," I said angrily, pissed now, really pissed. I reached out to hit him, just a swipe, and connected with the side of his head. He grabbed me round my neck and pushed me to the floor. We were in his bedroom. I tried to push him off me. I'm heavier than Jakey, but he's more flexible, more agile, and he caught me in a wrestling move. I let him hold me down for a few seconds, thinking I had surrendered, but then I pushed with all my might and flipped him off me, crashing him to the floor, knocking over his trash basket, a small table and a guitar that had been leaning against it. Voices could be heard shouting down the stairs.
