Is that why I’m stalling? Am I hoping for him to ride in on his motorcycle, like a knight on a horse, and save me from my own choice? I can’t let him do that. Deciding to give in to Edward was the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make, but it was either that or let him destroy Sebastian’s entire life. In the end, that’s no choice at all. I could never live with myself if I let that happen.
No, I can’t let Sebastian change my mind. I have to go now, before he shows up. I’ve been half-expecting the phone to ring and security to tell me he’s down there. Half-hoping. But enough is enough. It’s time to go.
I grab my bag and head to the door, trying to avoid the feeling that I’m a death row inmate walking to the execution chamber. I have to remind myself that this isn’t the end. I’ll figure out a way to get out of this eventually. Edward will likely get bored of me eventually, or maybe Sebastian will be able to strengthen Piston enough that they can hold off a takeover threat more easily in the future. Maybe I can figure out a way to get my hands on the evidence that Edward has about Sebastian’s involvement with the MC. Plenty of things I can focus on to keep my mind off of my situation.
At least, until I have to head home with him.
I can’t help the shudder that runs through my body. That’s definitely not something I need to think about right now. But how can I not? What if he expects me to sleep with him tonight? My knees feel suddenly weak and I stop before I even make it to my front door.
How can I go through with this? Working for him is one thing, but how can I go back home with him? How can I go to bed with him?
My breath seems to be coming in gasps and I reach out, steadying myself on the wall before I can’t stand anymore. I sink to my knees and feel the sting of tears as they burn my eyes. Once I let them fall, I begin to sob uncontrollably.
It doesn’t feel like I’m at it for too long when I hear my front door burst open and I lift my head. Sebastian’s blurry silhouette is standing in the doorframe. By the time I blink away the tears enough to see him clearly, he’s crossed the hall and is kneeling down next to me, his large and powerful arms pulling me close and holding tight. He’s the last person I wanted to show up right now, but it doesn’t stop me from pressing my face into his chest and continuing to cry, although now some of the tears are of relief. It’s stupid though. He can’t save me from my decision. We both know it’s the only choice.
Still, I love that he’s here.
“You’re not going back to him.”
His words are soft, but determined. I let them spread out around me, the thought of what they represent comforting me for a brief moment, even though I know they aren’t true. I just want to feel like they are for a moment longer. I want to at least feel like Sebastian is going to save me in the way I’ve been daydreaming about ever since I called Edward to give up.
We’re still for a few more minutes until my sobs have stopped and his shirt is completely soaked from my tears before I push back enough to look up at him. His dark eyes are intense as he returns my gaze, as usual I can feel them pushing and probing me, likely watching to see whether or not I’m going to argue with him.
“We both know I have to do this,” I finally say. His eyes give nothing away, but his mouth gets tighter.
“No, you don’t.”
“Don’t make this harder than it already is, Sebastian. How did you get up here, anyway? How do you always manage to get past security? I didn’t order a pizza this time.”
The smile he gives me never touches his eyes. “Security would never be able to hold me back from seeing you. And neither will Edward. I don’t think you realize this, Eve, but I don’t back down from fights. I never have, and I’m not about to start now. Not with everything at stake.”
“That’s just it, Sebastian. Everything is at stake. It’s not just you and me, this time. It’s everything you’ve built before you even met me. The MC, your company…”
“I didn’t build the MC, and a lot of those guys would be more than happy to see me go. I was fighting that problem long before you got here. This shit with Edward… it might give a bit of fuel to that fire, but if I was going to lose the MC, it wouldn’t be entirely his doing. As for Piston… yeah, I built it, and that was important to me. It was the first thing I’d ever really built on my own, and to see it succeed and be a part of that meant a lot to me. It made me a lot of money, it gave a lot of people jobs, but in the end, it’s become just another secret I have to keep. Another thing that keeps me from ever really letting anyone into my life.
“I thought I was okay with that. I thought I’d always be okay with that. I’d never met anyone in my life that has made me question any of that. I’d never felt the desire to let anyone in on both halves of my life. I never trusted anyone enough with those secrets. Until you, that is.”
I reach forward and touch his face, running my palm along the stubble on his cheek, feeling the sharp angles of the bones underneath his skin. “You didn’t really have a choice,” I counter. “I stumbled upon those secrets.”
He nods. “At first, yes. And it’s true, my initial feeling was a fear of being exposed. But I could have minimized the damage. I could have kept you at arm’s length, maybe I could have made something up to explain some of it. But I’m a pretty good judge of character, Eve, and the more I got to know you, the more I wanted to share with you. The more I felt comfortable in the fact that you already knew, instead of feeling panicked at the thought that I could be exposed. Soon I just wanted to tell you everything. Have you share in everything. Things felt lighter every time I did, and I felt happier. I still do. Not just at having someone know them, but at having you know them.”
Hearing the words fills me with both joy and sadness.
“Sebastian…”
“No, I don’t want to hear it,” he says.
“But—” This time, he stops me by leaning forward and pressing his lips against mine. They’re hard and soft at the same time, and their warmth makes me melt against him. I want to argue more, but my thoughts are fuzzy, which I’m sure is his intention.
When he finally pulls back from me, it takes me a moment to catch my breath. When I do, my thoughts start to form again. I’m not done arguing.
“I can’t ask you to give everything up for me. This is my fault, Sebastian. All of it. I brought Edward’s wrath down on you. I showed up at the bar that day after you told me not to, and you wouldn’t have had to hit him if I didn’t. Then he wouldn’t have been provoked enough to have you followed, or investigated… he would never have figured any of this out. I know the MC are like your family, and Piston is almost like your child…”
“Stop,” he says, shaking his head. “Don’t you get it? Having a family, or at least someone like you to share my life with, that’s something I never even knew I wanted. Yet I did… deep down. That’s why I was filling that void with everything else. The MC, Piston, those were all so important to me because I didn’t have anything else. But with you, I realize how unimportant those things really are. If I have to trade, I give them all up if it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Happily and without reservation.”
I can’t stop staring at this man that is so much the opposite of anything I ever thought I wanted, but the more he speaks the more I realize that I feel the same way. Sebastian is powerful and smart and sexy as hell, and I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I spend time with him. I’ve never been as happy.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
It’s a challenge, and I can tell by the way he is looking at me that he asked the question because he can already see the answer.
“I can’t.”
“Then you’re not going back to Edward. We’re going to fight this together, which means that we can’t actually lose. Because even if he beats us and destroys everything else, I’ll still have you, and that means I haven’t lost anything at all.”
I instantly know it’s true. Whatever Edward is going to do to us, if Sebastian is ready
to meet it head-on, then so am I. As long as he is by my side.
When his lips brush against mine, I don’t hold back. There’s no reason to. This is where I’m meant to be, and this is who I’m meant to be with. Edward is a problem for another time, the only thing I need to think about now is this. Sebastian.
Sebastian seems almost possessed with desire, as if the thought of me going back to Edward has turned him into some kind of animal. As soon as I give into his kiss, his rough hands nearly tear the clothes from my body and we don’t even make it to the couch. We land somewhere between my TV and coffee table, my bare back against the roughness of the old throw rug that has followed me since I moved out of my apartment in Toronto.
I don’t even need to help him with his own clothes, as they seem to disappear from his body just as fast. Before I know it, he’s inside of me and both of us are gasping at the indescribable sensation of melding into one being.
Each thrust of his body pushes me down against the floor, pinning me under a mountain of masculinity as my mouth is invaded by his tongue at the same time his cock invades my core. I dig my nails into the flesh of his back, urging him forward, demonstrating my own need and desire. His lips move to my neck now, biting along my skins, his hands squeezing my breasts and nipples, and each thrust pressing him deeper inside of me. As much as I want this to go on forever, I also want to feel him come, to have him explode inside of me and fill me with his scorching heat.
Before he does, I feel him slip out and his hands grasp my side, rolling me over until I’m on my stomach. His powerful arm slips around my waist, lifting me up, and then he slides back into me, this time even deeper than before. “Fuck,” I whisper as his hand dips between my lips to tease along my swollen clit. My back arches to meet him with each meeting of our hips, my ass slamming against his hip bone. My arms move above my head to support myself as I lift my chest off of the ground. As soon as I do, my swaying breasts are caught by his free hand, letting him massage them as the blood rushes down to fill my nipples.
I can feel his chest against my back now, his sweat and muscles lightly brushing against me as he leans over with each thrust. His breathing is fast, but not fast enough to catch me. An orgasm wells up from deep inside of my body, drawn out by his expert fingers and pounding cock, and I don’t care how loud I am or how thin the walls of my apartment are as I let out a scream of primal desire. I’m awash with pleasure and emotion, so much so that I almost miss Sebastian’s own orgasm. It’s not until his hands leave their posts to grasp my hips that I’m brought back to reality enough to realize he’s stopped moving against me.
Once I can concentrate though, I can feel him pulsing inside of me, filling me. Marking me.
I’m Sebastian’s now, and no matter what Edward tries to do, I always will be Sebastian’s.
The only question is, what will be the price we have to pay?
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
BASH
Some things are better left unsaid.
Evelyn is aware that I’m not going to take this Edward shit lying down, but she has no idea what I’m willing to do. Edward wants a war, so I’ll give him a fucking war. Maybe he ends up owning Piston in the end, but so what? It’s not like the corporate world was ever my real home, anyway.
Not because it’s so different than the MC world, though. It’s actually pretty fucking similar. The MC steals from people, threatens them, intimidates them… and that’s exactly what Edward is doing. The difference is that in the corporate would, that’s just part of doing business. It’s little more than legalized thievery. What I don’t like about it is how they’re all a bunch of cowards who will hide behind their fancy suits and their lawyers while they smile, pretending to be the good guys as they ram a knife in your back.
At least the MC members are honest about being a bunch of cutthroat bastards. We’re happy to face you with an angry glare as we’re cutting you down.
And that’s exactly what I want to do to Edward. Maybe it lands me in prison, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe the MC will have my back, and maybe they won’t. But the one thing I’m not going to allow is for Edward to just take everything and come out of it unscathed. That may work against the standard corporate suit that is happy to pull his golden parachute and walk away from something they’ve built, but it isn’t going to work with me.
“Are you ready?” Evelyn is smiling at me with a lopsided grin that betrays the conflict I know is raging through her. As far as she knows, we’re just going to go down to Edward’s office and tell him the deal is off and do his worst. She has no idea that I plan to do my worst, too. It’s better that way. I have no interest in her trying to talk me out of this. I’ve seen what she was capable of doing when she thought I had no other options, and I’m not letting her fall on her sword again.
She thinks I have a plan of some sort. A way forward out of this mess. But the only thing I can see in the future right now is blood, and all of it is Edward’s. I just hope I can figure out some way to distract her so that she doesn’t have to witness the violence I want to inflict on her old boyfriend. I’d hate to have that be the last memory she has of me before I wind up in prison or on the run.
“Yeah, let’s go.” I’m in my leather jacket and jeans; there’s simply no reason for me to carry on the Sebastian pretense with him anymore. He knows both sides, and the part of my personality I plan on unleashing tonight is all Bash.
We hop on my bike and remain silent the whole ride to his office. He’s expecting only Evelyn to show up, which is why he is there so late, and I’m hoping that means that he’s given most of his security team the night off. Surely he doesn’t think he’ll need them to handle his ex-girlfriend. Especially when he knows the leverage he has over her.
When we arrive, I don’t even bother pulling around the building into the parking lot. I just ride my bike right up to the front door and kill the engine. As expected, the building is deserted at this hour, although surprisingly there isn’t even anyone at the security desk. Maybe the guard is taking a leak or something, but we aren’t going to stick around long enough to find out. Dealing with building security was going to be our first hurdle that I didn’t have a firm plan for, so I’m happy to skip it.
The ride to the top floor is silent. I’m not sure what Evelyn is thinking, but I’m just working on controlling the simmering rage burning up my lungs. My head is cloudy with thoughts on what I’m planning on doing when I see Edward. I know what I want to do, but I’m worried about Eve seeing me like that. I’m worried about the repercussions. Not about what will happen to me, but whether or not I can really go through with doing what I really want to do to Edward if it means having to abandon Eve for good. Whether from prison or having to disappear.
As the elevator doors slide open I’m hit with the realization that violence is probably not the best answer in this situation, no matter how much I want to inflict it. But it’s too late. I’m here, and I have no other options. I won’t let him take Evelyn.
No matter the cost.
Almost like she’s sensed the dark thoughts brewing in my skull, Evelyn reaches over and takes my hand. The suddenness of her touch and the emotion it brings out in me makes me stop dead in my tracks. I look down at her and catch her gaze. Her pretty lips are pressed into a thin, grim line, but that’s not defeat on my woman’s face. That’s determination. True grit.
I squeeze her hand in mine. Evelyn isn’t just my partner in all this. She’s my reason. My courage. My hope. My goddamn battle standard. There are words I want to say to her about that, most of them some long-winded version of a “thank you” she’s more than earned. But right now isn’t the time, and something tells me she already knows.
There’s a sea of desks between us and Edward’s office, but nothing could stop me from getting to him now. Not when I know he’s alone and vulnerable. I let the tide of rage I’ve been holding at bay overtake me now, turning my vision red, speeding me forward toward Edward’s door.
This could end
up bad for me. Hell, I don’t see any way that it won’t, in the end. But you know what they say: the most dangerous man in the world is the one who’s got nothing left to lose. Maybe that wasn’t entirely true about me—I did still have Evelyn, and if I had anything to say about it, I always would—but I’d lost enough that I was pretty sure Edward Stonewall’s pansy ass was no match for me. Even if he did get the last laugh, I’d make sure the only way anyone heard it was from the depths of a mouth full of broken teeth.
“I love you,” I say to Evelyn, unthinking. I don’t even know where it comes from. Not really. The words just appear on the tip of my tongue, and before I know it, they’re out of my mouth. I probably should feel embarrassed, or stupid, but I don’t. I don’t feel anything. I’m so far gone now, so committed to this cause, that I don’t even hear Evelyn’s reply. I just barley register the way she tightens her grip on my hand.
But when I kick open the door that will lead me into hell, I don’t see the devil I know on the other side.
Silver and Chrome: A Bad Boy MC Romance Page 21
