His shitty life just got shittier, and he definitely didn't need to share his misery with anyone, especially someone that seemed genuinely decent. He rarely met anyone like that in his life and he wasn't about to ruin the first one he came across.
He carefully moved her arm off of him as he slipped away and onto the floor. Amber stirred but then just turned over. She was still wearing the remnants of the shirt he had torn off of her, her back still covered but her breasts exposed. He watched as they rose and fell as she breathed. Pale mounds of flesh, crested in pink. Her chin still looked pink and raw from where his beard rubbed against her as they kissed, but her lips looked perfect. He closed his eyes, recalling how they tasted and felt against his own mouth. Then he sighed and went into the bathroom to retrieve his pants.
They were still wet, as he had left them in a heap on the floor instead of hanging them to dry. They were stiff as well, from caked on mud and grime, completely unwearable. He padded back out and put back on the sweatpants and hoodie that Amber had lent him last night. He didn't think she was going to miss them. He put back on his dirty shoes that he had kicked off by the door. Those, at least, he'd have to suffer through.
As he was about to leave, he noticed some paper and a pen by the door, so he hastily scrawled a note. With one last look at the sleeping red headed, he sighed and turned away.
Chapter Eighteen
Amber
"You seem in a foul mood this afternoon. Someone has their bitch on!"
Amber rolled her eyes at Simon. "I'm fine," she snapped, continuing to restock the bar with the bottles he had just delivered from the back, only this time not slamming them down quite so hard.
"Just saying girl, you need to get laid," he winked at her as he turned to return to the back room. Getting laid was always on Simon's mind, but he wasn't someone Amber ever had to worry about, unless the two of them were competing for the same man. That had happened before, and she was embarrassed that Simon had been the one to go home with him.
She wasn't angry anyway. Not really. It wasn't unexpected to wake up alone this morning, but she couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. She wasn't really sure why. She had just met Joel, after all, and he totally wasn't the kind of guy she generally hooked up with. But still, he was raw and rough and for whatever screwed up reason, that seemed to touch something deep inside of her. The sex had been phenomenal. She'd never cum that fast from straight sex before in her life. Even if they hadn't ended up together, she wouldn't have minded having another round of that when she woke up.
Instead, she was left with only a note and a missing hoodie. That was one of her favorites, too. Warm and well worn in. The pants she could care less about, they were too big and she needed no reminders of her ex. Still, Joel probably needed the hoodie a lot more than she did. She could just get another one.
She hoisted a case of beer up onto counter and slammed it down, the bottles within it clattering together. What was she so mad about, then?
She thought back to the note she had found in front of the door. "Sorry about the clothes, I'll try to return them some time. Last night was nice."
Nice. That's what made her so mad. After everything she had done - let a stranger into her home, use her shower, wear her clothes, drink her beer, not to mention the incredible sex - and he reduced it all down to the word "nice"? She should have listened to the voice in her head and never invited him up in the first place. Or at the very least, she should have let him go after he had cleaned up. Then she wouldn't even care. She shouldn't care now. It made her even angrier that she did.
And she couldn't believe they hadn't used a condom. It didn't even cross her mind last night, she'd been on the pill forever and generally didn't use them with long term boyfriends. She wasn't use to hooking up with random strangers, but hopefully he was clean. Now she should probably go and get tested for STDs.
Simon pushed his dolly along with another load from the backroom fridge, loaded with two new kegs. "You want me to hook these up?" he asked.
Amber sighed gratefully, shooting him a smile. "Please! Thank you so much." She needed some air. "I'll make a Starbucks run, I'll bring you back a frap."
"Damn girl, you know my kryptonite. I have to watch myself around you." Simon smiled back and started to drag one of the kegs behind the bar. Amber left him and headed out in the bright afternoon sun.
It was only a ten minute walk to the coffee shop, but she took it slow. Her head was still running through the events of the previous night. Joel. "Who fights for a living, anyway?" she asked herself aloud. Someone who has to. The answer hit her as hard as a punch. He'd basically said as much last night, but she hadn't really understood.
She stopped in the street, making everyone else on the sidewalk have to walk around her to pass, but ignoring them. He suddenly made sense to her, the way he was withdrawn, that he lived at a shelter. Fighting was probably always part of his life. Who could guess at what sort of childhood he had, but it probably wasn't anything like hers. Fighting might be all he knew. And who was she to judge, anyway?
She slowly started to walk again. They hadn't paid him for that fight he lost, and he ended up injured, although she got the impression it looked a lot worse than it was. It wasn't like this job gave him benefits. They paid him only if he fought, and it seemed like only if he won as well. She couldn't imagine living with that sort of uncertainty and danger.
She felt bad now, having judged him so harshly. She had no idea who this guy was. For someone who fought for a living, her night could have ended up a lot worse than it did. It didn't end up badly at all, in fact. She was really just upset that it was over, not that it had ever started in the first place.
She got to Starbucks and stopped in front of the big double doors. Something caught her eye and she looked over at a large poster taped to the wall of the building next door. She'd seen it before, but never really paid it a lot of attention after reading it the first time. Now she read it over again with renewed interest. Smiling, she reached up and stuck her nail underneath the edge and carefully pulled it from the wall, rolling it up into a tube once she removed it completely. This could be helpful. But first she needed to find Joel again.
Chapter Nineteen
Joel
There was no rain tonight, but Joel was still careful to make sure he arrived at the shelter in plenty of time to get a bed. After sleeping on the couch with fresh sheets the night before, he didn't relish another night on a park bench to follow it up. Not that the shelter could compare in any way to the other activity he had partaken in last night, but going without sex again would be something he'd get use to as well.
He felt bad about leaving the way that he did. Amber had been nice to him, and really did have no expectations in return. She was gorgeous and far more than he ever deserved. Even when he slept he didn't dream about being with women that looked like her, and never ones that treated him so well. He didn't deserve a girl like that. The best thing he could do for her in return is stay out of her life. He had no intention of going back there to see her again. Nothing good ever happened in his life, and he didn't need to drag someone like that down with him.
"Joel?"
His head snapped around and his eyes got wide. "Amber? What the hell are you doing here?"
"This is the third shelter I've been to, actually," she said. She had a small half smile on her face, but she looked at him apprehensively, as if she was expecting him to lash out at her. "I'm not a stalker, I promise."
Joel couldn't believe she was standing in front of him again. "I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye," he said. "I just thought it would be easier. Did you come for your clothes? I have them here." He turned to reach under his bunk, but she reached out and touched his shoulder.
"No, keep them," she said. "I don't care about the clothes. I just came..." she paused as he looked up at her from his cot, their eyes meeting again. He felt something between them, something he'd felt last night that had overwhelmed him enough to kiss her
. He had the same feeling now, but he resisted it.
"I came to show you this," she said. She was holding out a rolled up poster so he took it and lay it down on his bed to straighten it out. His eyes scanned it quickly and then he looked back at Amber. She was smiling brightly at him.
"What do you think?" she asked. "Isn't that what you do? That sounds like a great opportunity, doesn't it?"
Joel just nodded as he re-read the advertisement. The poster was promoting a fighting competition, put on by Tiger Strike, one of the local training teams for up and coming professional MMA fighters. It was also being co-sponsored by Golden Dragon Dojos, a chain of training facilities that was known for producing some of the best fighters in the country. It was a single elimination style tournament, with spots for up to 16 fighters. First place was a thousand dollars, but more importantly, a contract to train with Tiger Strike for a full year, for free. That sort of opportunity was invaluable to someone like him.
"So are you going to do it? You should totally do it!" Amber seemed positively giddy, and he noticed that her hand was resting on his shoulder, a couple of fingers grazing lightly against his bare neck. It felt nice to be touched, his early resolve to keep her out of his life was made a lot more difficult now that she'd shown up out of the blue. And with something like this.
"Definitely," he said. Then he noticed something as he re-read the date of the fight. "Wait, this is for Sunday at 7 PM. This Sunday. As in, tomorrow."
"It is? I didn't even notice. Crap. I guess that's not going to work after all, then. I'm sorry, I should have noticed that..."
"No, this is the opportunity I've been looking for. I have to do it."
"But your head. Do you really think you should fight again so soon?"
"It's fine, it doesn't even hurt today," he lied. She was right, he definitely should not be fighting again tomorrow. Or maybe not even by next weekend. But there was no way he could pass up on an opportunity like this. Even if he didn't win, the experience alone would be worth the $100 entry fee. A minor setback towards his apartment fund, but an investment towards his future.
"Are you sure? It doesn't look so good." Amber had moved towards his back and reached out to touch the wound. He jerked away involuntarily as soon as she made contact, wincing. "Doesn't hurt at all, eh? Joel, this doesn't look better at all. I think it looks worse, actually."
"Wounds always start to look worse as they heal. You just surprised me, that's all." He turned to face her so that she couldn't try to poke it again. "Listen, thanks for bringing this to me, but you should probably go. I need to get to sleep."
"You could... I mean, if you want, you could come back to my place again tonight. It's probably more comfortable than here."
Joel looked up at Amber, wanting nothing more than to say yes and follow her back to her place. Especially if they could re-enact some of the passion from the night before. But his resolve was beginning to strengthen again. Here she was doing something amazing for him once more, giving him this opportunity that he never would have known about, and the only thing going through his mind was that the only way to repay her was to stay away.
He shook his head. "Last night was great," he said.
"But..." she said before he could.
"This isn't going to work, Amber. You know that, don't you? We're too different. I'm no good for you. The only thing I ever find is trouble, and I don't want trouble finding you."
She opened her mouth to argue but he just shook his head again. "Please," he said. "Don't come back here."
Her green eyes grew larger, and it wasn't until she turned and stormed away that he realized that was a trick of the light, shining against the tears that had started to form. He was tempted to run after her, but he gripped hard against the bed frame to hold himself back. It's for the best, he reminded himself. But as he lay in bed thinking about her, he was having trouble really believing it.
Chapter Twenty
Amber
Sunday was always a day off for Amber, the bar wasn't nearly as busy as people had to get up the next morning. She woke up late after a rough night of arguing with herself about whether she was angrier at Joel for being a dick, or herself for caring so much about this guy that she had known for just a day.
It had hurt more than she thought it would when he told her to leave the shelter and not come back, and she hoped that she had turned away fast enough from him so that he wouldn't see the foolish tears that started to well up in her eyes. She was happy, at least, that she held them from falling down her face. It was stupid. He was just some guy she met. Not even a successful guy. He was a fighter, for god sakes. What did she need that in her life for?
And yet, she couldn't get him out of her mind. He'd been injured, and there seemed like no one around that cared. His family was gone, all of the people who looked to be his friends the first night she saw him couldn't care less about him the next night. That would be one thing if he was a horrible person, but after spending the night with him she didn't see that side of him. What was it that kept him so alone?
He had asked her not to come back to the shelter, and she would respect that. But she knew where he was going today, at least. And she was pretty sure he wasn't going to have anyone else there to support him. He was keeping her away from some sense of twisted duty that told him he was no good for her, but that was up to her to decide, not him. She was going to the fight tonight, whether he wanted her to or not. At the very least, maybe she would stay in the back where he couldn't see her. But she wanted to see him. Make sure he was okay.
It felt like forever before it was time to leave, and even so she ended up getting there much too early so she spent some time in a coffee shop across the street, sipping a latte and watching the venue from the window. She felt almost as nervous as if she herself was going to fight. She couldn't imagine how Joel was feeling.
As soon as she started to see people starting to arrive and go in, she finished up and made her way over. She was just paying her entry fee of ten dollars when she heard some shouting coming from the back. One of the voices sounded like Joel. She hurriedly paid and followed the sounds to a black curtain at the back of the gym.
"...fucking bullshit. Fucking scam artists." It was unmistakeably Joel.
All of a sudden the curtain parted and he stormed out, walking past without even seeing her, his eyes filled with fury and likely only seeing red.
"Joel, what's wrong?" So much for her keeping a low profile at the back of the room.
Joel stopped and spun around, clearly surprised at seeing her. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to watch," she shrugged.
"I told you... you know what, never mind. It doesn't matter anyway, I'm not fighting."
"Why not?"
"Because this tournament is a fucking bullshit scam to drive business to this fucking club," he retorted hotly.
"Wait, slow down, what are you talking about."
"The poster said it was $100 to enter, which I brought. What it didn't say was that it was open to club members only. Fucking BS."
"So can't you join the club?" she asked. It didn't seem like that big of a deal to her. He hadn't said anything negative about Golden Dragon Dojo's last night so she couldn't imagine what he had against being a member."
"Sure, if I have $300 extra for a membership. Like I said. Fucking scam. Let's get out of here." He turned and started to walk away, not even looking to see if she followed.
"Joel, wait," she hurried to catch up to him and grabbed his arm. She knew how much this fight could mean to him.
"You don't have any other money? Isn't this worth it? I mean, I get that it's bullshit and they should have put that on the ad, but you're here now, and think about what it could mean if you win this? 300 bucks won't mean much then."
He spun around, his eyes still filled with fire. "You think I just have money lying around, Amber? Do I look like I'm fucking rolling in it over here? Everything I have I'm saving to get an apartment. To make fir
st and last month's rent. That's a goal too. You think I want to live in a fucking shelter for the rest of my life? Yeah, if I win it I get a grand. What if I lose? There's a good chance of that happening as well. I have to fight four fucking times and win every one of them to win the whole thing. All of those today."
Amber said nothing. She didn't realize just how hard up he was. That made this opportunity even more important.
"Anyway, even if I wanted to, all I brought was $100. I left the rest with everything else I own, locked away at the Y. It starts in 20 minutes and there are no late entries. So fuck it, let's just go. Or you can stay if you want. I'm going."
He wrenched his arm away from her and started to storm away again.
"Wait," she said again. He kept walking. The club was starting to fill up now, and the noise level was rising but she knew he heard her. She raised her voice this time, though, and called out behind him. "What if I pay for your membership."
Silver and Chrome: A Bad Boy MC Romance Page 48
