"Dead? You were afraid I was, or hoping?"
She shook her head violently. "No, never!"
"Really? So casting me out with just the clothes on my back - to you that was what, good parenting? You thought that was the best way to get me to survive and thrive?"
She shook her head again. "No, no, Joel - your father, he wanted you out-".
"And so did you, Linda," he said, refusing to call her anything other than her given name and actually holding his tongue back from calling her bitch in front of Amber. "I clearly remember you screaming for me to get out. It's your voice I hear when I sleep at night! Not Darryl's!" He bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to admit that. He didn't want her to know what an affect she still had on his life. He didn't want to give her that satisfaction.
"Oh, Joel," she said, taking another step forward with her hands raised as if to cradle his head. He stepped back again, glaring at her.
"Why are you here? I have nothing to give you. And even if I had, I wouldn't."
"I don't want anything, baby. I just wanted to see you... Joel, please listen to me."
He felt Amber's hand snake out and grab his, giving it a little squeeze as if pleading with him to do as his mother asked. He held his tongue, giving his grudging acceptance through silence.
"Joel, that night... your father and I had a terrible fight. He told me that he wanted you to leave, and I told him no. But..." she was quiet for a moment, her eyes were filled with tears but Joel refused to feel anything. He just stared at her, waiting for her to go on.
"He had a gun, Joel. He was pissed off that you had learned to fight. To stand up to him. To protect me. He was fed up with it, and he said you were going to stop. One way or another. I don't know if he was going to do it, but he was drunk, and I was scared."
He looked over at Amber and her eyes, too, were filled with tears. She looked back at him but said nothing. She simply stared into his eyes.
"I didn't want you to leave," his mother continued. "But I was afraid that if you stayed he would do something. Maybe not that night, but at some point. You couldn't stay. So I did and said those things because that was the only way I could think of to keep you safe. I thought that if you just left that night and then came back, he might use that as justification to kill you and claim he thought you were an intruder. Or that you were coming back to kill him first. I don't know." There was another pause, and then she whispered one more time. "He had a gun."
And all of a sudden, Joel's world view shifted so violently he felt himself sway.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Amber
Amber tightened her grip on Joel's hand as she felt him lean toward her, but he caught himself and straightened up. She was watching his eyes as his mother spoke, catching the precise moment that the words hit home.
"Joel, I'm so sorry," his mother said. This time, when she stepped forward, he didn't back away. She put her arms around him and squeezed, Amber stepping away to give them room. Joel stood there like a statue at first, and then he drew a deep shuddering breath as he slowly raised his arms and hugged her back. His eyes closed quickly, but not quick enough for Amber to miss the tears starting to form. She wiped her own eyes with the back of her hands.
"I thought I would never see you again. When your father died, I tried to find you but I didn't know how. I even put an obituary in the paper for that son of a bitch, thinking maybe you'd see it and come to the funeral... even if it was just to spit on him..." she trailed off with a huge wracking sob. "Oh my Joel baby, I'm so sorry!"
Joel's eyes were still closed, but Amber could see his grip around his mother tighten. He was never a man of very many words, but this time she didn't think any were needed. Joel's mother was still talking, but her words had fallen to whispers in his ear as he just nodded silently. She felt like she should give them a few minutes of privacy, so she turned back to the ring.
Shawn Rock was walking over, and he tilted his head to indicate she should come up, waiting until she had joined him inside before he spoke.
"There are some people who need to talk to Joel," he said. "Is he... okay?" He glanced down to where the fighter was still holding his mother with a perplexed look on his face. He clearly knew Joel as well as anyone, so watching him hold someone so tenderly was obviously confusing to him.
Amber nodded. "He just needs a few minutes."
"Well, I think he's going to want to talk to these guys. Tell him they're from Titan." Shawn looked around. The ring was mostly empty now, except for the two men he'd referred to, and even the floor was starting to clear as most of the audience and fighters had already exited.
"Okay, let me get him."
She walked to the edge of the ring and looked over. Joel and his mother were no longer hugging, but were still talking quietly. She hated to interrupt, but she knew that Joel had all the time in the world now to get to know his mother again.
"Joel?"
He looked up at her, his eyes no longer misty.
"Can you come up for a minute?"
Joel told his mother he'd be right back and swung himself up into the ring again.
"These men over here want to talk to you."
Shawn Rock was over talking to the two of them when they approached.
"Hi Joel," said Shawn. "I want you to meet Nathan Zimmer and Umberto Bari. They work for Titan."
Both men were tall and slightly overweight, but all smiles as they reached forward and shook Joel's hand. "Great fight," said Nathan.
"Terrible decision," Umberto added. He had a slight Italian accent.
"You may or may not be aware that we've signed Carlos to fight with us," Nathan said.
Joel nodded. "I'd heard." His voice was flat as he said that, causing Nathan to laugh.
"You're not impressed? Well, we stand by that decision. Carlos is a good fighter."
"But maybe you're a bit better, yes?" Umberto added.
Joel shrugged, but allowed himself a little smile.
"Listen," said Nathan, "we want to sign you as well. Same deal that we gave to Carlos. Standard three fight contract, guaranteed to be at least on the televised undercard."
Amber's eyes rolled over to Joel and she saw his mouth open in shock. He didn't say anything, but luckily Shawn took over.
"Gentlemen, that is a very generous offer. I'll tell you what, why don't you leave us your card and we'll let Joel have a couple of days to think it over. We can call you from my office in a couple of days. Does that sound good?"
Both men nodded. "If you decide to sign with us, Umberto here will discuss the terms with you. He's also our sponsorship contact, and he can help set you up with the right sponsors for you who can help pay for the things you need while you train."
Shawn nodded and clapped Joel on the back, bringing some life back into the stunned fighter. "Um, thank you," he said, reaching forward to shake their hands again. They handed him a business card and then stepped out of the ring, leaving the three of them alone.
Amber's heart was fluttering in her chest, and she could only imagine how Joel must feel.
"You'll need a manager," Shawn said. "I can recommend someone if you'd like."
Joel nodded.
Shawn laughed. "You look like you're in shock. I think you need to take the night and let this all settle in. This is great news, Joel. You're going places. I knew it the first time I saw you. I hope you'll continue to train with us. Same deal as before. I know a big up and comer when I see one, and I know before long it'll be great for the club to have your name associated with us."
He clapped Joel on the shoulder one more time and said good night to the two of them.
Amber turned to Joel and leaned forward, giving him a soft kiss on the lips. His eyes seemed to focus again, oceans of blue that she would be happy to drown in.
"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand. "Let's go tell your mom the news."
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Joel
The last few days had been a whirlwind of acti
vity for Joel, and he was happy to lay in bed on Sunday with Amber, her bare leg draped over his waist and the sweaty sheets cast onto the floor. Their breathing was just beginning to settle back down, but knowing Amber she'd probably be back on top of him giving him another work out at any minute. As enjoyable as that thought was, he wanted to talk to her first.
"I haven't had a chance to tell you everything that happened yesterday with Shawn," he said. He'd met with his trainer and Louis Gagnon, the manager who he had introduced to Joel a couple of days ago. Joel had asked the man to represent him, and together the three of them called Nathan and Umberto to go over the details of the contract they were offering. He'd only really told Amber that he signed, but then they went out to dinner with his mother and got home late. The morning had been taken up with other, more pressing activities and his stomach was growling for breakfast already. But he was anxious to tell her about what he'd decided.
Amber kissed his shoulder blade where her head rested, her red hair tickling his chin as she moved. Her hand slid down along his body to trace the contours of his abdominals. He knew from experience he wouldn't be able to concentrate for very much longer.
"So like I said, we signed with Titan for three fights to begin with. Depending on how things go, they may opt to add additional fights, but I'd be paid more for those and I have the option to say no."
"Why would you?" she said, her fingertips still lightly gliding up and down his stomach, but inching lower with each pass.
"I probably wouldn't, I don't know. Point is it would be up to me." That was important to him, at least. "Anyway, the pay for those fights is only a couple grand each, but there is a bonus that doubles that if I win."
"Which you will," she said. Her hand slid below his belly button and her leg moved lower so that it only covered his thigh now, exposing the rest of him to the warm air of the room and, more importantly, her exploring hands.
"Hopefully. They said my first fight will likely be against Carlos."
"Hmph," she said, her fingers pausing for a split second before continuing their descent.
"Anyway, the money from those will be nice, but the bigger payday comes from sponsorships. Umberto already mentioned a couple who are interested in signing me. Louis is going over the details. Usually that money is used to pay for a fighter's training."
"I thought you were going to continue at Rock House?"
"I am."
"Well that's great then! You'll get some savings together. Maybe we can finally move some place with better air conditioning."
"Maybe," he said. "But I was actually wondering if you thought you could handle the heat for a little bit longer," he said.
"Oh, sure. I guess so."
"It's not so bad at nights anyway, it's really only annoying during the day."
Her hand had stopped completely now. "Well, I know you're training during the day but I'm usually at home until I leave for work in the late afternoon. But yeah, I mean... we can stay here." He could hear the disappointment in her voice.
"About that," he continued, trying to keep the smile off of his face and from his voice. "I was thinking maybe you should change your schedule."
This time she lifted her head to look at him, annoyance forming creases in her brow. "You don't make money as a bartender during the day," she said. "It's just not practical. I thought you understood that."
"I do," he said. His smile leaked onto his face and it seemed to annoy her even more.
"So why would you suggest changing my schedule if you know I wouldn't make any tips?"
Joel put his arm over the side of the bed and reached under the mattress, pulling out a brochure. He sat up on his own arm, making a space between them and dropped it down onto the bed.
"What's this?"
"I think you aren't going to have time to bartend anymore," he said.
Amber picked up the pamphlet, but her furrowed brow remained. "Huh? Why are you giving me this? This is for a nursing college."
"I know," he said. "Sign up starts next week. Shawn is going to advance me the first semester's tuition and I can pay him back after my first fight and I get paid."
"I don't understand." Amber was shaking her head, but her eyes were glued to the papers in front of her.
"Amber, I don't need the money. I've never had any, and I can go without for a while longer without missing it. This apartment is cheap, and from what I'm going to get between the fights and the sponsorships, even if I don't win, I can afford to pay for this place and your tuition."
"Joel, I don't-"
"Shhh," he said, putting his hands over her mouth to stop her from protesting. Her lips were soft and once she closed her mouth he let his fingers trail across her cheek and then glide through her long red hair.
"Please don't argue about this, Amber. I want to do this for you. After everything you've done for me... shit, everything good that's happened to me in the last couple months has been directly because of you. I would never have any of this if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't have ever spoken to my mother again. Never heard her side of the story..."
His hands traced along the nape of her neck. "I would have gone my whole life believing that my mother thought I was a piece of shit, and I would have continued to hate her until I died. I would have continued to believe that there was no one out there who could love me, that I wasn't worthy of it... I would never have realized that I could love someone as well. That not everyone is out to just take. Some people give.
"You've given me my dreams. The ones I've held in my mind for years, but also ones I never even dared to have when I slept. I can finally repay some of that. You have to let me. I want to give you your dreams."
Amber looked up at him, her eyes misted over in tears and she leaned forward. "You already have," she whispered, pressing her lips against his. It was all the answer he needed.
Silver and Chrome: A Bad Boy MC Romance Page 62
