Her tough demeanor and reluctance to trust him suddenly made a lot more sense. He wished it didn’t.
* * *
Kat had barely waited until she’d graduated high school before leaving. In fact, she didn’t even attend her own graduation. She’d told them to mail her diploma and bought herself a one-way bus ticket.
It was so cliché. But she was sure she was going to make it on her own. Her aspirations had been reasonable—it’s not like she set off for New York in search of fame and fortune. She’d headed for Miami in search of warmer weather, but only made it as far as Jacksonville. Her goals were simple—she just wanted to make a living and be happy.
It was easier said than done. Minimum wage didn’t cut it and she wasn’t qualified to do much else. Eventually, she secured a job as a cocktail waitress in a strip club, where she’d met Leo. Things had gone downhill from there. But what had she expected? She’d met him in a damn strip club for fuck’s sake. Looking back, she wanted to slap her nineteen-year-old self across the face, but even that probably wouldn’t have knocked sense into her.
She’d been so stupid.
No one knew the full story except Ryan and the one friend she’d made in Jacksonville—Sandra, who was working part-time at the club to put herself through nursing school.
And now Marco.
She couldn’t look at him right now. If she saw pity in his eyes, she would come unglued.
Marco pulled into a guest parking space at the address Ryan had given. Kat had never been to this apartment complex and she was surprised by how nice it was. It seemed relatively new. What the hell was a place like this doing on the south side? It was close to the border, but still.
Marco got out of the car and pulled Ryan’s chair out of the trunk.
“Can you grab my bag?” Ryan asked, and Kat complied. She was so freaking curious and normally she’d demand he fess up and tell her what was going on, but the nervous look in his eyes stopped her. Ryan never looked nervous. He had an easy confidence that bordered on apathy, a combination that tended to make him reckless.
Ryan wheeled himself up the walkway toward an elevator and pushed the button for the third floor, tapping his thumb on his knee while they waited.
Watching the blinking lights on the elevator display, Kat caved. She couldn’t take it anymore. “What gives, Ryan?”
He hastily ran a hand through his hair. “Just be cool, okay?”
His response did not make her feel better. If not for their nice surroundings, her nerves would be totally on edge. But she held her tongue as they rode up to the third floor.
Ryan stopped in front of apartment 302 and knocked. The door immediately flung open and Kat had to shift her gaze downward to see who had opened it. It was no one she ever would have expected.
A little girl, maybe four years old, stood there in footie pajamas, with wet hair and a crooked grin.
“Ryan!” she squealed and jumped on his lap, obviously having done so many times before.
Ryan pressed his lips to her forehead and wrapped his arms around the little girl before going into the apartment. “Hey, princess. Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
Kat’s eyebrows shot up. Princess? She’d never seen her brother with a child before and he was surprisingly good with her—gentle and attentive, yet stern. She couldn’t reconcile this version of her brother with the one who forgot to buy groceries.
Ryan had a lot of explaining to do. A lot.
“I’m not a princess,” the little girl replied, taking his cheeks in her hands to make sure he looked at her. “I’m a queen now.”
A frazzled woman appeared from the back of the apartment. She put her hands on her hips and glared at the little girl. “What did I tell you about opening the door?”
“But it was Ryan.”
“Your mom’s right, princ—Queen Riley. What if it hadn’t been me?”
She stuck her lower lip out and crossed her arms. Kat nearly busted out laughing. She recognized that attitude. Her mother had a firecracker on her hands.
The woman pushed her hair out of her face and stepped forward with a smile and her hand out. “I’m Susan. You must be Kat. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Kat took her hand, slanting her eyes toward Ryan. Susan might have heard about her, but she hadn’t heard one word about Susan. This was one hell of a secret. How long had he been keeping it? And why? She couldn’t help but feel hurt.
But this was good—oh so good for her brother. Despite his not telling her, she couldn’t help but feel happy for him—his happiness was evident and infectious.
“I’m Marco.” He stuck out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. If you’ll excuse me for a minute, it is past her bedtime. But she got so excited when she heard Ryan was coming over, I let her stay up a little extra.” Susan held her hand out for her daughter, who pressed a kiss to Ryan’s face before hopping down and claiming it.
They disappeared into the rear of the apartment and the soft whir of a hairdryer sounded.
“Who . . . is . . . that?” Kat hissed.
Ryan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and blushed. Kat didn’t even think he was capable of that.
“Susan.”
“No shit.”
“Watch your language in front of Riley,” Ryan reprimanded, leaving Kat speechless. Who was this man and where was her brother?
“She can’t hear me over the hair dryer,” Kat said, though she did feel bad for cursing near a small child. But a warning would have been nice. Maybe then she’d be able to control her reaction a little better. “Now tell me what the heck is going on. Please.”
“I met Susan about six months ago. She started at the telemarketing company and my boss asked me to train her. She’s almost done with her classes for her phlebotomy certification.”
Kat stared at him, feeling like an idiot because she had no idea what that was. Probably something in the medical field. “Okay,” she said slowly.
“She’s going to get a job drawing blood at a doctor’s office,” Ryan explained. “Anyway, we hit it off. She’s the one who convinced me to enroll in classes. She thinks I could be a medical assistant or something like that.”
Kat felt like the rug had been ripped out from under her. Mostly in a good way, but kind of not. She’d been trying to convince Ryan to take classes for years and Susan managed after just a few months? She felt a tinge of jealousy over this new woman in Ryan’s life. But Susan was obviously the kick in the pants Ryan needed.
Women, she corrected. There were two. If she wasn’t mistaken, Ryan was totally smitten with that little girl. And Kat had had no idea.
When Susan returned, Kat saw the look of adoration in Ryan’s eyes and her resentment faded away, especially when Susan leaned down to give Ryan a kiss. How the hell had she not known about this?
A quiet happiness radiated from her brother, and Kat was hit with a bevy of emotions. It seemed condescending to say she was proud of him, but she was. He’d managed to put aside his past and find something good for himself. Something happy.
“Riley asked if you could read to her tonight,” Susan said to Ryan with an apologetic tone.
“It’s no problem. Is she still on the fairy tale kick?”
Susan nodded and Ryan headed in the direction of the bedroom.
A shy smiled graced Susan’s face as she looked at Kat and Kat took a good look at the woman who’d stolen her brother’s heart. She was blond and petite. Attractive in a non-flashy way. Most importantly, her blue eyes were kind—tired, like a single parent who worked too much, but kind.
“I’m glad to finally meet you,” Susan said. “I kept telling Ryan to invite you to dinner, but . . .” She shrugged.
“He’s stubborn,” Kat finished for her. She didn’t say how she’d not even known of Susan’s existence. She didn’t want to make the other woman feel bad if she wasn’t aware that Ryan had kept her a secret, especially when it was obvious Ryan adored her. “I’m gla
d you convinced him to take classes. I’ve been trying for years with no luck.”
“Because he’s stubborn.” Susan laughed. “He’s smarter than he gives himself credit for.”
“Exactly!” Kat agreed, astounded that Susan used the exact words she’d been using on Ryan. Now that the secret was out, she hoped Ryan would be open to her getting to know Susan. She didn’t want to encroach, but Susan seemed to want the same thing.
“Ryan told me you guys ran into some trouble,” Susan said. “You’re welcome to stay here if you need to.”
“We appreciate the offer,” Marco spoke up. In her baffled state over meeting Susan, Kat had nearly forgotten he was here. He’d been quietly standing in the background. “But we have a place. And we don’t want to inconvenience you.”
“It’s no trouble.”
Suddenly Kat liked this woman very much. Without overthinking it, she pulled Susan into a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for loving my brother.”
“He’s a good man,” Susan said simply. “Riley and I are lucky to have him in our lives.”
When Kat stepped back, she had to wipe the tears from her eyes. For the first time since his accident, she knew Ryan was going to be okay.
Chapter 18
“Do you like Chinese food?” Marco asked.
She flashed a smile that didn’t last. “Sure.”
Marco sighed, sparing her a glance before pulling out his phone to place an order. As soon as they’d left Susan and Ryan, her mood had shifted and now she sat staring out the car window.
Ryan’s relationship with Susan had obviously taken her by surprise. Luckily it had been a good surprise, not like the other ones from the past few days. Still, though, she had to feel betrayed that he didn’t confide in her.
“Is there anything in particular you want?”
She shook her head.
He placed the call, ordering way more food than they needed, but like with lunch the other day, he wasn’t sure what she’d like and he wasn’t about to demand she state her preference. The food would be delivered shortly after they got to Tony’s apartment.
He pulled into the lot, realizing this was the fourth apartment complex he’d been in today. Christ. It was nearly ten and he was fucking tired. What a long-ass miserable day.
The one bright spot should have been his time with Kat in her apartment, but he’d managed to screw that up beyond belief. He still couldn’t believe what an ass he’d been.
Praying the key in his pocket still worked, he led her up to Tony’s place. The key slid smoothly into place and the sound of the lock turning was a relief. At least they had one thing going for them.
He kicked the door closed behind them, flipping the dead bolt. Then he carried her bag into the bedroom.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” she said, seeing what he was doing.
“I don’t think so.” He dropped the bag on a chair just inside the room, noticing the bed was made up. Good. Even though the apartment wasn’t on the market yet, it was staged, complete with place settings on the dining room table.
She hugged her arms around herself. Nervous energy rolled off her in waves. “It feels wrong to sleep in Tony’s bed.”
No, it would only be wrong if Tony were in the bed with her. The momentary vision of her in bed with someone else awakened jealousy within him. The only bed he wanted her to share was his.
His time with her earlier was not enough. All it did was arouse his thirst for her. It did nothing to quench it. And even now when she was pissed at him, he wanted to taste her body and feel her legs wrapped around him again.
Hell, he’d settle for kissing her, but he’d probably end up with a slap in the face if he tried that now. And she wouldn’t even talk about it. That was some shit. Here he was—the guy wanting to talk and she kept shutting him down. It seemed backward.
Maybe it was for the best. He’d much rather her be pissed at him than hurt. But damn, the least he could do was apologize.
“Well, I’m not sleeping there,” Marco said, wanting to end the debate, “so if you sleep on the couch, then I’ll be on the floor.” And that was the truth. Aside from the bed being more comfortable, he wanted her to sleep in the bedroom for another reason—it was farther away from the front door. The chances of them being traced here were slim, but crazier things had happened.
So she could sleep on the damn couch if she wanted, but he’d sleep on the floor next to it, putting him between her and the door.
The knock at the door silenced her protest. After looking through the peephole, Marco paid for the food and carried it into the kitchen.
She followed. “How much do I owe you?”
He gripped the edge of the counter and closed his eyes. Though his body hungered for her and his heart hurt for her, his head was angered. “Don’t.”
“What?”
She sure as hell knew what and it pissed him off. It was like she was provoking him. Didn’t she realize how hard this was for him? He was prepared to walk away from the perfect woman to protect her from himself. He didn’t deserve her mercy, but damn, she was making this hard on him. He was trying to do the right thing.
“I’m not taking your money.” He turned and took a few steps toward the living room. Why couldn’t she just let him help her for fuck’s sake?
“That’s right,” Kat said. “Walk away. It’s what you’re good at.”
His eyes snapped open and he whirled to face her as blood boiled in his veins. “Excuse me?”
He stared her down and though she didn’t flinch or look away, she didn’t repeat what she said, either.
He tried to see it through her eyes and yeah, he’d walked away, but didn’t she realize it was for her own good?
“Forget it,” she said, trying to brush past him to get to the food. “It’s late. We’re both hungry. Let’s eat.”
“Fuck that.” His tone was harsher than he’d intended, but dammit, she was infuriating. She couldn’t just drop a bomb like that and expect him to let it go.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.
“No. You’re not shutting this down now that you brought it up.”
He was done giving her space. He’d let her evade the conversation before but it wasn’t happening this time. No way were they going to sleep tonight with this unresolved between them.
Her eyes flashed and she crossed her arms. “I can’t walk away now, but you can walk away after sleeping with me?”
There it was. Her eyes glistened with tears and hurt, rendering him speechless. She might as well have slapped him. Hell, she probably should have. He deserved it.
He might not be able to fix this, but he sure as hell wasn’t letting her think he wanted to walk away.
He reached toward her. “Kat—”
“Forget it.” She wiped her eyes and strode from the room.
Marco followed her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. He pressed her against the wall, caging her in with his arms. “Pulling away from you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”
Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly. His body stirred in a way it had no right to. He wanted to tilt her head back and show her exactly how he felt about her. To kiss her body all over and give her more pleasure than her body could handle. He wanted to give her everything.
But he’d already done enough damage. So instead, his words would have to do.
“You are a prize, a goddamn goddess that I don’t deserve. All I want to do is protect you, take care of you, and keep you safe. And I keep messing up at every turn. I hate hurting you, but it seems that’s all I’m capable of.” His confession made his voice ragged, matching his heart. “You deserve more than I can give you. You deserve a better man than me.”
She was silent for a moment as she processed what he said, her eyes disbelieving.
“I threw myself at you,” she protested. “How is that your fault?”
He shook his head. “I should have resisted
. It wasn’t safe to stay there. And if we’d have left sooner, we might have gotten to Ryan before that man did.”
As if treating her poorly weren’t bad enough, Ryan had been held at gunpoint while he did so. He simply couldn’t do right by the two of them.
“Bullshit.” She poked him in the chest. “You don’t get to take the blame for all of that. I initiated. And Ryan is my brother. I should have realized they’d go after him next.”
How the hell did this turn into the blame game? Everything that happened tonight was on him. He wouldn’t let her feel guilt over it.
“The bottom line is it’s my job to protect you and I failed at that.” He couldn’t resist running a finger down her cheek. Her breath hitched and her breasts rose and fell with her breathing. He nearly groaned as his cock strained against his pants. Fuck how his body betrayed him. Here he was trying to apologize for his actions when in reality he wanted to bury himself inside her again.
“I’m here,” she whispered. “I’m safe.”
“Protecting you involves more than just your physical safety. Making love to you ended up hurting you. Seeing Ryan like that hurt you.”
He should move away instead of keeping her pinned to the wall like this. He should walk away while he still could. Because if he didn’t put some distance between them, he was going to do something he regretted. Something they’d both regret.
With a curse, he shoved off the wall and moved away, turning his back to her.
He now knew he was a fool if he thought he’d be able to walk away from her. There was something between them and he wanted to fight for it, but somewhere inside him, a small voice wondered if that would be the best thing for her, if she would be better off without him in her life. He’d already done so much to fuck it up before he’d even known her.
“The only thing you’ve done to hurt me is walk away when you should have kept holding me.” Though her voice shook, it was strong and sure. “So do the right thing now.”
He turned, his gaze raking over her body, taking in every detail. Her dark hair that flowed so long it covered her breasts. Her full lips, naturally tinted pink. Those tender brown eyes that he could lose himself in. Her full breasts, the curve of her hips, those slender legs. Every part of her was pure perfection—perfection he didn’t deserve.
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