by Reese, Jaime
He closed his eyes and lowered his head. He took another deep breath and fought the prickling sensation starting to take over.
He could feel Hunter's gaze on him, caressing every inch of his skin.
Hunter was an anomaly. Cam had not been able to decipher why this man was still standing by his side through all this. Why Hunter wanted him when his own family had discarded him so easily.
"Why?" he finally managed to voice past the huge lump that had managed to take over his throat. He reached for the wall to steady himself as he waited for Hunter's response, fearing he would abandon him as well.
"I don't know why your father would have done what he did. He's an asshole. I'm not going to attempt to come up with an excuse or reason for his stupidity."
"No, not him."
Hunter took a step closer. His step was different—usually more determined, certain of its destination. These steps were lighter, hesitant. Insecure. Odd. Hunter didn't do insecure.
Cam turned his head to make eye contact. The pained look in those piercing silver eyes shot a stab of remorse throughout Cam's body. His eyes stung and his throat constricted even more. He rubbed his chest, trying to ease the sudden, sharp pain.
"Why are you still here?" He swallowed again, that fucking lump in his throat made it too difficult to speak.
"You didn't tell me to leave."
He turned to face Hunter.
Hunter hadn't moved. He stood vigilant, watching him, waiting.
Cam closed his eyes and took a calming breath. He shoved his hands in his jean pockets to hide the tremble. He was at the brink of falling apart. He exhaled heavily. The lump finally leaving him long enough to allow for more than just a few choice words.
"Why are you still here…with me? You heard what he said, what he did. You were there when Jas walked away. Why are you still sticking around?"
"You asked me to not give up on you."
"Everyone leaves, Hunter," he said, exhaling heavily as he looked upward.
"You are stubborn. I've told you a billion times already, I'm not going anywhere," Hunter said. He moved closer, his steps more certain, closer to his usual gait.
"Everyone wants something from me then they leave when they get it. What do you want?" he said in a more elevated tone.
Hunter took the final steps and stood in front of Cam. He reached up and cupped Cam's face. "I want you."
"You've already had me…a few times actually."
"I'm being serious."
Cam pleaded with his eyes. "I don't understand." He stepped away, unable to handle the emotion screaming through Hunter's eyes. He wanted—needed—to believe, but everything that had happened in his life had caused him to become jaded.
Hunter grabbed Cam's waist and prevented his escape. He cupped Cam's face again and forced eye contact. "Listen to me very carefully, Mr. Pierce, and get this through your thick, stubborn skull. Stop thinking I'm going to leave, because I'm not. Stop thinking I'm going to abandon you, because I won't."
Cam stared at him blankly.
"Do you really want to know what I want or not?"
"Yes," Cam grumbled. "And something tells me you're going to get sappy on me."
Hunter tightened his hold on Cam's face and smiled. "You're right. And you know why?"
"You're predictable."
"You're the only one who thinks so. And that's because you know me. So you shouldn't be surprised I'm still by your side."
Cam's stomach twisted. "You can have anyone you want. Someone who doesn't have a ton of—"
"I want you, no one else. It's your choice to look at me the way you do, touch me the way you do, kiss me the way you do. I can't just take these things from you or force you to feel something you don't. You don't seem to realize you're the one with the power in this relationship, not me."
Cam closed his eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. He gripped Hunter's arms to anchor himself. He opened his eyes and looked at Hunter, his silver gaze intense with desire and promise.
"I want to wake up with you in my arms every morning. I crave the way you look at me as if I'm a fucking superhero. I love the way you touch me, the way your fingers dig into my skin. I love it when you get all territorial and feel the need to mark me."
Cam shook. He tightened his hold on Hunter's arms and looked away. "I know you can walk away at any moment. I don't want anyone taking you away from me a moment sooner," he said in a small voice.
"As long as you want me, I'm not leaving. I promise," Hunter said with fierce determination in his tone.
"I…need…you," Cam said weakly, unable to finish voicing his thoughts. He moved his hands from Hunter's arms down to his waist. He clutched the edge of Hunter's jeans in a white-knuckle grip. "I…can't…"
I can't do this alone.
Hunter tightened his hold on Cam's face. "I'm here," he said and placed a gentle kiss on Cam's lips.
Cam blinked repeatedly and tried to process Hunter's words. He looked away. His breath hitched. He couldn't imagine having any sort of power over a man like Hunter.
He's not abandoning me.
He tightened his grip on Hunter's waist.
Hunter stroked Cam's cheek. "I'm with you and we're going to get through this. And when this is all over, we're getting a house together and making it a home. We're even getting a dog if you want. Got it?"
"A cat," Cam said absently, looking off to the side.
"What?"
"I want a cat, too," he said, looking at Hunter.
"Then we're getting a dog and cat. Hell, we'll have a farm if you want. I don't care. But we're doing this together. Understand?"
Cam tried to nod in Hunter's grip. He exhaled heavily and closed his eyes, reveling in the heat of Hunter's hands on him.
"I'll be patient with you until you're ready, but don't you dare try to deny this thing between us. Life is too fucking short and I want you in my life every day, all day. Got it?"
Cam nodded again slowly.
"Good," Hunter said before pulling Cam in for a passionate kiss.
When they separated, Cam felt light-headed with Hunter's gaze on him. It was desire mixed with unmistakable devotion. Hunter could claim to never say those words but he spoke them in his actions and through those piercing silver eyes Cam loved so much.
He's really mine.
Cam's body began to shake, and he instinctively threw both arms around Hunter's neck in a powerful grip and held him close, needing to feel the heat of Hunter's body against his. Hunter grabbed him around the waist and worked one hand under his shirt, seeking skin to trace those soothing circular patterns that always seemed to calm him. He knew he should loosen his grip on Hunter, but he needed him closer, needed his unrelenting strength to ground him.
Cam sighed when the shakes subsided. "I give you a hard time about the sweet shit but that doesn't mean I want you to stop," he said quietly against Hunter's ear, still holding tightly.
"And here I thought you were trying to strangle it out of me."
"I could let go if you want," Cam responded. He tightened his hold on Hunter and pushed his body subtly against him to close the inch of space between them.
"Not in a million years." Hunter pulled him closer and buried his face at the side of Cam's neck.
Cameron relished the offered safety of the strong arms encasing him. He sighed and buried his face deeper into the heat of Hunter's body.
"I'm scared."
"What scares you the most?" Hunter asked gently, tracing his fingers along Cam's back as he pressed soft kisses along Cam's temple and face.
"Aside from losing you—"
"We've covered this already."
"I know, I know. As long as I keep giving you the pervy hero worship puppy eyes and manhandle you, you'll stay," Cam said, hiding his half smile against Hunter's shoulder, hoping to goad him.
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
"I was trying to answer before you cut me off."
"What scares you the most?"
Hunter said in a growly voice, forcing the focus back to the question.
Hunter's fingers circled Cam's lower back, soothing his nerves.
Cam remained silent, still embracing Hunter tightly as he tried to string the right set of words together.
"I'm scared I can't give you what you need. I know you want me to just let my guard down and open up about everything but I can't. I'm used to being guarded, keeping stuff inside. It's what's held me together all these years. I know you said you were staying, I get that. Really I do. But you've promised to stay with the guy I am now. Not the guy who's going to be mumbling in the corner freaking out because he's broken and doesn't know how to put the pieces back."
Hunter separated from the embrace and gently held Cam's face in his hands again. The intense gaze he loved so much stared back at him with fierce determination. "I need you to trust me."
"I do."
"Then trust me when I say you can totally let go with me and you won't scare me off. I'll be there with you to put the pieces back together."
"I'm doing the best I can," Cam said, his voice broken with desperation. He didn't know how else to explain things. He was trying.
"Stop fighting by yourself. I'm here if you want me," Hunter said, gently stroking Cam's cheek.
"I do want you."
Cam ran his hands through his hair then clasped them behind his own neck. He looked up and exhaled heavily. "I'm not good at this, Hunter."
"You're getting better."
He dropped his hands to his sides and looked at Hunter. "I'm trying. I swear I am, but I'm not ready."
"I know."
"You're really okay with that?"
"I know that when you are ready to say it, it'll be forever." Hunter pulled Cam into another embrace.
Cam exhaled deeply, letting Hunter's heat filter through his system and settle the shudders that traveled his body. He prayed this man would not give up on him. Cam held him tightly for a little longer, hoping to absorb some of the strength Hunter offered.
"This is the part where you tell me I'm a sap," Hunter said.
Cam buried his nose at the crook of Hunter's neck without responding, reveling in the protectiveness of Hunter's embrace.
"Are you ever going to get tired of saving me?"
"Never."
With the heat and scent surrounding him, his heartbeat began to calm. He nestled more snuggly when Hunter's arms tightened around him. He could stay like this forever.
"Let's get out of here," Cam whispered.
"Sounds like a plan."
Hunter exited the elevators and tried to ignore the stares and ceased conversations that surrounded him. He had wrapped up the morning trial without any case issue but desperately needed to avoid any more snarky remarks about him taking a beating from anyone because of his face. He was pissed and had been brutal in court that morning. He half smiled as he recalled just how badly he had beaten the defendant's council. Bet that bastard will think twice before being a smart-ass with me the next time.
He was sure the news had traveled like wildfire through the grapevine regarding Mel. The problem was, he didn't know the details the rumor mill had churned or his involvement in what had happened. He'd left it up to Aidan and his trusted handful of staff to report about Mel's death and the circumstances surrounding it until they could get a better handle on the associated parties. He'd been in court all morning and hadn't had access to any information other than a text from Aidan informing him that a statement had been made that both he and Mel had been attacked out of retaliation.
"Here's the case summary from this morning's trial," Hunter said as he dropped the folder onto his assistant's desk Monday afternoon before making his way to his office.
"Thanks. I didn't think…" Jessie lost his train of thought when he looked up and saw Hunter's face. "Are you okay?"
"I'll live," he said, retreating to his office, trying to avoid the stares from the staff.
Jessie quickly followed before he had a chance to shut the door.
"Everyone is a bit freaked out," Jessie said, closing the door behind him.
"About what exactly?"
Jessie arched an eyebrow. "I've worked with you long enough to know you wouldn't let a mugger sneak up on you and do that to you," he said, pointing to Hunter's face.
"A mugger?" Hunter commented, roughly putting away some files in his drawer then slamming it shut. He was going to have to beat the shit out of Aidan when he saw him. He could have at least said it was a mob of muggers, a street gang of a dozen, something a bit more ballsy than a lone street thug.
"Hunter?" Jessie asked with concern. "I know something's not right, and I just want to make sure you're okay. If you need something, all you have to do is say the word."
Hunter looked up at his assistant of four years. After getting blindsided with Mel's involvement, he wasn't sure who he trusted anymore. He rested his elbows on the desk and crossed his arms. If Jessie was part of this whole network, Cam would have been caught immediately after that white envelope had been delivered to his office.
"What else did you hear?" he asked.
Jessie took a seat opposite Hunter. "Just people talking. I've heard you were jumped by a mugger on your way home and Mel was out on a date and was attacked and killed. That's about the only consistency in what I'm hearing."
"What are the variations?"
Jessie raised his eyebrows. "Um, about the only thing I'm not hearing is an alien abduction. I didn't know what to believe until you came in and I saw your face."
Hunter didn't have the luxury of time to find what he needed on his own and no one was better at research than Jessie. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Jess, I need to know if I can trust you. Look me in the eye and tell me."
Jessie's shoulders slumped. "Have I ever given you a reason not to?"
Hunter rubbed his eyes in frustration. He hated this, his gut was telling him he could trust Jessie but he needed to hear him say the words. Jessie had a horrible poker face and a gentle nature, both of which were reasons why he wasn't a lawyer. "Jess, please, just humor me. I need to hear you say it."
Jessie straightened, inched over the desk and looked at Hunter. "Hunter, I've never lied to you even when I knew you'd get mad. I love working with you and actually care what the hell happens to you. So put a little trust in me and know that I would never, ever, do anything to make you regret that."
Hunter assessed him. Jessie was going for fierce lion but what came across was territorial kitten. Regardless of his level of intensity, Jessie was being indisputably honest. "Did you trust Mel as much as you trust me?"
Jessie shook his head. "There's a reason I accepted the assistant position with you and not her. I didn't trust her any farther than I could throw her and you know I'm not athletic enough to do that."
Hunter couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "Okay. I'm going to need your help with something but it's only going to be you and me on this. I can't run the risk of anyone else getting involved right now or my life could be at stake."
Jessie inhaled sharply. "Okay. Just tell me what you need me to do."
"I need you to be hyperaware right now. Don't disregard any detail or comment."
Jessie nodded. "Did this have anything to do with those red files?" he asked hesitantly.
Hunter gave him one of his piercing glares. "Yes. Why?"
"Too many easy cases and things are never that simple. I'm worried there might be someone else in this office."
"Why?"
"That last file wasn't a messenger, Hunter, it was left on my desk so it's someone who was in the office."
"I know who it was."
Jessie sighed. "Good."
"I've got to make a few phone calls and get some things in order. Then we'll regroup and plan what we're going to do."
Jessie nodded and rose from the seat. "Okay."
"I need you to gather all the red files that came in to Mel so I can get them to the police. But I
need you to be low key about it please. I don't know about Mel's assistant so—"
"Be careful. Got it," he said as he exited the room.
Hunter dialed the mayor's office from his cell.
"Mr. Weston's office, how may I help you?" the familiar voice said.
"Lydia, is it safe to talk?"
"Yes, but he's contacting everyone he can think of to gather information. Are you okay? I heard you were hurt," she said in a hushed tone.
"Yes, I'm fine. I need your help."
"What do you need?"
"Information. What have you got?"
"Tons, but I'm not sure what you need," Lydia said quickly in a hushed tone.
"Quick question. Are the police commissioner and captain clean?"
"Yes, as far as I know. They don't discuss anything with them."
Hunter breathed a sigh of relief. "Can you give me access to anything you have so I can comb through it and see what helps?"
"Yes, but it's a lot."
"That's fine. Where do you have it?"
"I'll send the information. Don't come here."
"Okay."
"I'll send—" She stopped, then continued. "I'm sorry, Mr. Weston is busy this week and unable to meet with you."
"I'm assuming you can't talk further?"
"That is correct, sir."
"Send it to my assistant like you did the last one so it doesn't come directly to me. He'll make sure I get it."
"Yes, sir. Thank you for your time," she finished before disconnecting the call.
Hunter hung up the phone and exhaled deeply. He unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk and withdrew the gun safe he began storing in his office since his weekends with Cam. He unlocked the box, inserted the full clip and holstered the pistol. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He didn't know if Lydia was in danger or if any of the information she had would help. His hands were shaking and his leg was bouncing obsessively. He couldn't stand this useless state of being at the mercy of these unknown bastards who would attack him or Cam. His protectiveness was in overdrive. He just wanted to find each one of these assholes and slowly rip their limbs off, until they screamed from the excruciating pain.
And that still would not satisfy his need for justice.
