“I have something…that is I—” She stepped away from the globe and looked up to the ceiling, closing her eyes.
The cold from the window seeped through his suit until his skin screamed from its biting reach as he waited her out.
“There is something that I have done.” Her head snapped down and on a long breath, Minnie said, “and I must tell you.”
He nodded for her to go on, afraid that this confession would be the start of a slow series of cracks that always spiraled out of control between them until they were broken once more.
She fished around in her reticule and removed an aged envelope then rushed forward and shoved it against his chest. Minnie retreated to the opposite side of his office and waited, giving him a wide berth.
“I feel as if this is going to be a warrant for my arrest,” he joked. “C’mere, Minnie.”
She shook her head and walked her fingers over the stack of papers on his desk. “I like you too much to see you arrested. Again.”
He laughed at that. He had to. If life taught him anything, it was to always keep laughing. Otherwise he would fall victim to those dark demons, waiting to drag him down to meet his premature end.
Nothing was written on the envelope, no hint at what lay beneath the opened seal. She wasn’t looking at him when he lifted the seal and removed the papers within. Minnie plopped into his seat as he unfolded them.
Alex read it once, then again, his heart hammering against his chest when he read it a third time. He pushed off the window with enough force to propel him straight into the next room. “What’s this?” He knew, but he needed an explanation of how he had become beholden…he fought the urge of tearing it in two. “No, first answer how,” he said, each mindful step to his desk feeling as if he was chained up and locked away once more. Alex lowered his voice, trying not to frighten her, but he was frightening himself, if he was being honest. No good could come from what he held. “Minnie?” He slid the papers across the desk and tapped them once, demanding an answer.
“You’ve done so much to help me.” She didn’t look up from her lap. “I did what had to be done. I can never make everything right, but I could do this for you. I can make this right now.”
Alex walked around the desk and knelt beside the chair, pulling her gloved hand into his, wishing to feel her warm flesh against his instead of cold leather.
“I did it for you, Alex.” Minnie gazed up, her eyes brimming with tears. One soft, vulnerable moment. “It’s yours now, so do what you must.” Then complete calm as she pried her hand out of his and stood, striding for the door.
“I thought you were staying for lunch.” He pointed to the basket as he sat. The world had suddenly flipped on him again, as it often did when Minnie was near.
“No, that’s solely for you. I’m volunteering.”
“Oh?” His eyebrows shot up. “You’re a woman of charity now?”
“Contrary to what the society ladies say, I feel as though I might be able to help at the women’s shelter.” Her hand rested on the doorknob as she stretched her neck and peered down the small hallway behind his desk. He had forgotten that door was still open. Alex hadn’t used the room since her arrival. He was sure it was a mess. Without asking, Minnie walked into the small space he had used as his bedroom all these years apart. He followed, not saying a word as he stopped beside her.
“I never slept at home until you arrived,” he confessed. Alex stuffed his hands into his pockets as she observed the pallet on the floor, the sheets still untidy. “I don’t feel comfortable in beds…as you know. And I’m guessing you know why now, though I’d like to believe that the deed on my desk was obtained by someone other than you.”
“It’s an awful place. I regret not mentioning Nora to you sooner, now that I know your reasons. But I was afraid that by offering her up, I would have to return to Burton Hall.”
They stared at the unmade pallet, their breath puffing out into clouds from the chilly air. With no fire lit, it was as good as sleeping on the street.
“The asylum is yours now. Isaac has agreed to help manage it if you wish to move patients or whatnot. To see their proper and humane care. I expect him to send you a letter soon.”
“Not pay me another visit?” They both wore sad smiles as they faced to each other.
“There was a patient ledger, but no mention of you. I searched. I read it over for hours, but I couldn’t find you. Nora couldn’t find any new leads either.”
He expected it then—the break sure to follow after discovering there would never be an answer for him. Twenty-seven years without ever knowing his true name, without ever knowing why he was robbed of a childhood and locked away. He waited, but it never came with Minnie standing so close.
“We swore off secrets. And this is one I’ve harbored a long time. I never thought…”
He finished that thought for her because he never thought they would be where they were standing now, either. Alex reached for her hand and started to peel off the leather glove.
“I’ll understand if you no longer wish for me to be in your life. It was a selfish thing to do to keep that from you.”
He fought the urge to look up and laugh. Her estimation of him, as always, was far from the truth. Instead, he slipped his thumb against her palm and pulled the leather up higher. “Always in a rush to be rid of me,” he whispered, concentrating on the way the lines of her palms stretched out toward the pulse thrumming at her wrist. She held her breath as his thumb pressed firmly into her palm, up to the base of her fingers. “You surprised me is all, darling.” He heard her nervous swallow as his hand finally stripped off the rest of her glove and he drew her fingers to his lips. “You always surprise me.” Her eyes looked up from the floor to his. “But you’re not escaping me this time.” Alex slid her hand under his waistcoat to rest over his heart. He hoped she would understand that he didn’t have the words she needed, but she could feel them under her fingers instead. For now, at least.
Her skirts covered his feet, the fur of her coat brushing his arm. She tilted her head so that she could see from beneath her hat. “No, not now.”
That was enough. Even after being handed the deed to that hellhole. Even after knowing he might never know his real name, with her words, he was happy for the moment to stop and savor having her back in his life. For the good and bad. For the inevitable trouble that would come their way.
*
Alex would never tire of seeing Minnie asleep in his bed, though it still did surprise him. Little by little, she had brought his London house to life to resemble what he fancied a home would be like.
Her house remained empty all these weeks, a shell and certainly a farce that would soon be discovered by the prying public. Now there were flowers on the bedside table and stacked books, a fine crystal bottle of some beauty lotion, and an empty cup of tea. A velvet shawl lay over his chaise, her silk slippers by the side of the bed, which was stacked high with blankets. Beneath it all lay the face he could not stop staring at, feeling that strange satisfaction of discovering one’s place in the world. His was there with her. It always had been, though the world seemed to have thought otherwise.
He shoved off from the doorjamb, blowing on his hands to warm them from the cold London night. He had spent three years all but living at the club.
Alex undressed, warming himself by the fire before slipping into bed. He gazed at her from his pillow, afraid that if he brushed away the hair fanning her face she would wake. Her lips were parted, full and inviting, void of red paint, which was how he liked them best. He craved these reminders of Minnie—that she was a woman, not the object others believed her to be. He liked best that he was privy to this part of her more than anyone. She was his beautiful secret.
Her breathing unsteadied itself as she unfurled from her dreams and parted her eyes, a smile spreading across her lips once she spotted him. It was sight he never wanted to miss.
“You’ve come home,” she said, her voice full of sleep.
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And that word—home—something he never had before, rooted itself around his heart, its meaning finally making sense.
He gathered her against him, his lips brushing over her hair as he said, “Yes, darling.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Are you coming?” Alex shouted from downstairs. If he wasn’t so handsome and charming, Minnie would object to being called down to dinner like livestock.
“Really, Alex,” Minnie started as she bounced down the stairs, “I don’t know why you insist we have a formal dinner tonight.” The servants must have thought he had lost his mind. Then again, the house was full of hushed whispers with the two of them under one roof. Scandal, of course. There was nothing conventional about an unmarried pair living under one roof. London was abuzz that they were living in sin. Minnie was more than happy with the sin. In fact, life with Alex was splendid. Life in general had become splendid, too. “I am fine eating dinner up—”
Minnie paused at the landing. Five pairs of eyes focused on her from below.
“Ah, there you are, darling.” Alex made quick business of jumping up the stairs to join her side. More than likely, he was preparing to throw himself at her if she decided to turn and flee.
“I think I’ll go upstairs after all,” she whispered, still staring at the other four individuals standing below.
His arm circled hers, his hand resting lightly over her arm. It felt like a shackle and she wasn’t aware of a key, so she was trapped for the moment. “I believe everyone knows my wife,” he said, turning back to the company below.
“I’m not your wife,” she hissed, pulling free from his grip.
“Not from lack of trying.”
Minnie leaned forward to whisper into his ear, “I am going to murder you in cold blood.” Shoving him down the stairs would be a good start, and if that didn’t work, there was always dinner. There would be forks and knives, but perhaps the dull edge of the spoon would be best. Slow and painful. “I’ll never forgive you for this.”
“There will be witnesses,” her uncle said coldly from below.
“They can lock me away,” she snapped back, feeling panic drain her head of common sense. Her head was fuzzy, her limbs suddenly numb.
“Come down and have dinner with us, dear. Please,” Clara coaxed. Minnie’s uncle wrapped an arm around her aunt and former governess. As always, her pale green eyes shined brightly. Her blond hair had lightened, perhaps even harbored a few gray strands.
Minnie was surprised when Grace climbed the stairs and embraced her in a hug. Her sister was so small in her arms, so perfectly dainty, smelling of violets. A few deep crimson curls brushed against Minnie’s cheeks as Grace drew back.
Minnie didn’t want to answer for all her wrongs. There had been mistakes, surely, but she was rather proud of what she had accomplished. Even if society thought otherwise.
“I’ve missed you so,” Grace whispered.
A time, so long ago, Grace was a thorn in her side, a constant reminder of her moral failings. After all the wicked deeds Minnie had committed in the time since, she supposed the divide between innocent Grace and herself had grown much larger. Still, her heart ached at the sight of what a beautiful creature her sister had become.
Minnie turned again to Alex. She supposed he was proud to have sprung a family reunion upon her. “I hate you for this.”
He only kissed her temple as if he hadn’t just ruined everything.
*
Alex forced down another swallow of cheddar cheese soup, and not because it wasn’t delicious. His cook had done fabulously with another fancy dinner. Considering he never had real need of a cook until a few weeks ago, at least that was another formal accomplishment he could pride himself on.
He was more thankful for the eight feet separating himself and Minnie, who sat at the opposite end, looking as if she would start flinging silverware in his direction at any moment. He curled his hand around his spoon and smiled, taunting her.
He felt her eyes on him, burning and intense, as she held the wine glass to her lips. Her fingers twisted around the string of pearls at her neck. If she wasn’t mindful, they would be scattered to the floor soon. With a nervous sideways glance, she looked over to her uncle and aunt, then took a large gulp of wine. She set it down and glared at him again.
He moved his attention to her sister instead. “I heard you’re quite the accomplished piano player, Grace.” He pushed the spoon around his soup and thought it was probably considered rude, so he set his spoon down. The young woman was pretty, her features delicate. The opposite of his Minnie in every way.
“She always has been,” Minnie cut in, slurping her soup.
He nodded at Grace, feeling embarrassed for her sister. This reunion had been the right choice. Her family wanted to be in her life, scandals and all, and Minnie wasn’t allowing them a chance.
“Grace has received an offer to tour Europe with a distinguished group of musicians,” Clara said from two seats away. The older woman leaned forward over her plate to have a better view of Alex. “It is an excellent opportunity.”
“It sounds lovely,” he agreed.
Alex looked to Bly Ravensdale next, swallowing nervously before he spoke. They had both come a long way from the day Bly knocked him out, but the man still gave the general impression that he would flay Alex alive if he hurt Minnie. The fact that she was currently living under his roof while unmarried had been a recent sticking point in their acquaintance. But that would be a delicate question to ask, and Alex feared for his chances as Minnie threw down her spoon and grabbed for her wine glass again.
“How are things with India, Ravensdale?” Alex knew that even though Bly had a title, he preferred to be addressed without ceremony.
James jumped in his seat, rattling the dishes on the table to such a pitch, the footman rushed forward to avoid spilled glasses. “Christ, Minnie,” her brother grumbled.
Besides Alex, Grace stifled a laughed and he couldn’t help but join in. Bly and Clara looked at each other, waiting for someone to issue a confession.
“Don’t be so clumsy, James,” Minnie said. She jumped in her seat, wine sloshing to the brim of her glass. Alex guessed that James had stomped on her foot as well. Only fair when she was acting like a spoiled monster.
“You’re both adults. I expect you remember to behave as such.”
Ah, Minnie mentioned Clara had been their governess. Apparently manners were, in fact, important to her. She seemed like the only person to care, though Grace was certainly groomed to be the sister of an Earl.
“Problem, darling?” Alex asked, biting off a large piece of crusty bread.
Her hand wrapped around her butter knife before Minnie stabbed a pad of butter and smeared it onto a slice of bread. “No, dear,” she answered through gritted teeth.
“Excellent. Now, Stamham, I heard that you’re working on a very exciting contraption.”
Minnie rolled her eyes as James prattled on about…well, it was beyond Alex. It was all scientific. The man clearly loved his machines. The others looked bored, but at least Alex had succeeded at making some connection.
Minnie interrupted before Alex could ask another question. “And Minnie,” she mocked, “I heard you’re starring in a new play. Please, do tell.”
Alex winked at her. It was the best alternative to throwing her over his shoulder and dumping her into a cold bath. Though a cold bath was becoming more likely as she threw her napkin to the table and rose, her chair squeaking as it was dragged backward. “I believe it’s time to retire to the sitting room,” she said, her arms stiff by her side.
“We have three more courses, Min.”
She winced and looked around to the others.
He shouldn’t have addressed her with such familiarity in front of her family. As if they didn’t understand she was already sharing his bed. “You never did tell us about your play. I think everyone would enjoy hearing the details.”
She stuck her nose in the air, turni
ng her shoulders as if she was going to walk out mid-meal and leave Alex to host her family alone in the following awkwardness.
“Please do, Minnie.” Grace clapped her hands together.
“But if you’re not interested,” Alex continued, staring Minnie down, “we’re left with more pudding.” He waved his hand at her, dismissing her. “So, run along.”
Her shoulders sank with a deep exhale. “You can stuff your pudding,” she snapped, sinking down into her chair. The others laughed, but there was nothing funny about this to Alex. She had a family and she was pushing them away. He was jealous and his anger…well, he had never been one to rise quickly, but she was pushing his buttons. As he expected she knew quite well. He tilted his head and waited for her tantrum to play out.
Her lips curved into a smile as she lifted her wine glass and she winked back at him. “I prefer Cook’s soufflé, anyhow.”
*
There are days in one’s life that defined dread. A privileged runway who shunned her family never looked forward to that reunion. It seemed like it was the natural course of things for such a day to occur, so by the fourth course of dinner, Minnie gave up her fight and enjoyed sitting at a table full of her family. She had traveled oceans with them, exotic lands, and tamed wild beasts. And even if she didn’t admit it much, she missed them all dearly.
The others made their goodbyes and exited to the front hall, but her uncle stayed back. He turned instead of following the others and said, “I’m proud of you.”
Minnie laughed. It was one thing to have a family reunion sprung upon her, quite another to hear false praise. “Thank you for coming to dinner.”
“Bloody hell, pet, I was trying to be kind.”
“There’s no need.” She felt herself blushing as the guilt mounted in her stomach. Dinner had been delicious, but it was dangerously close to being shared with the parlor carpet. “I know what I have done to the family name.”
A Proper Scandal (Ravensdale Family Book 2) Page 25
