by M Never
“Ellie, try to relax. The cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck,” one of the nurses informs me in a palliative tone.
“One second.” Dr. Hanini works quickly, doing something I can’t see.
“Please hurry! I have to push!”
“Okay, now!” The doctor gives me the green light. I barely even push before I see a still, silent, little blue infant being lifted into the air. I nearly pass out.
“Let me see him! I need to see him!” He’s not crying and all the nurses are crowded around the doctor and my baby.
“Kayne!” I grab his wrist, but he’s still as stone as he watches the hospital staff work on our child.
My emotions spin further out of control every second there’s no sound.
I don’t know how long time lingers before we hear it.
The first wail of our newborn son.
It breaks me out of my petrified state of panic.
“Is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay.”
“He’s perfect.” One of the nurses places him on my chest, and I burst out into tears.
“We just needed to suction him.”
I hold him close as he squirms, instantly bonding with the helpless little angel. I fall in love for the second time in my life. I look up at Kayne. He’s stiller than a glassy lake. I think he’s in shock. Actually, I know he is.
“Say hi to your son.”
Only his blue eyes move. From me to the baby and back again.
Definitely in shock.
“Okay. Time to clean up this little fella.” One of the nurses lifts him off of me.
“Already! I just got him.”
“It will only be for a few minutes, and then I’ll give him right back.” She’s a sweet woman, very smiley, but I still give him up reluctantly.
Kayne tails the nurse, putting his super stalking skills to good use and hovering already.
“What’s his name, Mom?” One of the other nurses in the room asks.
“Alec. Alec Jett Stevens. AJ for short.” I wipe away my happy tears as they fall one by one.
“Jett? Oh, I like that.” She smiles coyly.
If you knew him, you’d like it even more.
Kayne and I both wanted to name him after someone important in our lives. Who’s more important than my father and Jett?
I watch as Kayne’s towering figure spies on everything the nurses do to AJ, while at the same time battling with fatigue. The adrenaline that was keeping me awake is now fading fast, exhaustion settling in its place.
“I HAVE SEEN A LOT of nasty shit, oops, I mean stuff. Daddy needs to learn to watch his language, but that black tar in your diaper takes the cake.” I hear Kayne before I even open my eyes.
When I crack them open, I watch silently as he wraps AJ up in a little blue blanket and lifts him from the hospital’s bassinet.
“I know you’ve only been here a few hours, but I think now is a good time to have our first talk.”
Kayne sits down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room and proceeds to talk to the tiny bundle nestled in his arms. AJ looks even smaller when he holds him, like an oversized peanut.
“First, and this is extremely important, always keep your head down and hands up in a fight.” He lifts one of AJ’s little hands to his face. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that that’s the first piece of advice he shares with his son.
“Second, ketchup is delicious on eggs. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Especially Mommy.
Third, don’t be afraid to talk to girls. Uncle Jett may need to help you with this in the future. Daddy isn’t very good at it. It’s the only thing Daddy isn’t good at.” The arrogance is blatant in his voice. Heaven help me.
“Lastly, and this is the most important, it takes courage to love. Mommy taught me that. She’s the strongest, most resilient person I know. She was brave enough to love me, and it changed my entire life. So try to be a good boy for her. I already give her enough grief.” Kayne’s tone gets softer as he kisses AJ’s forehead. He’s so sweet with him I could melt.
“When did you learn to swaddle?” I ask, interrupting the love fest.
Kayne looks up at me and smiles the most brilliant smile I have ever seen.
“While you were sleeping. The little man and I were having some quality father-son time.”
“And how is that going for the two of you?” As if I didn’t already know.
“Amazing.” Kayne glances down lovingly at AJ. “How do you feel?”
“Better.” I sigh. “I want to see him.”
Kayne walks AJ over to me. He handles him like a natural. When I take my first good look at his little face, my heart nearly explodes with joy. His eyes are open and alert, and he’s trying to fit his entire fist into his mouth. I think someone’s hungry.
“He’s so perfect, Ellie,” Kayne breathes.
“He is,” I agree.
Ten tiny fingers and toes, a little mouth shaped like a heart, and vibrant blue eyes just like his daddy.
Kayne sits down on the edge of the bed, reluctant to give AJ up. “For nine months, I felt like a spectator, and now that he’s here and I can actually hold him, it all suddenly feels real.” Kayne draws his gaze away from the infant. “How did this happen?” he asks in awe. “How did this become my life?”
I laugh softly. “Evolution?”
“No.” He shakes his head resolutely. “A miracle.”
“Knock knock,” a soft voice rasps just before Jett, Layla, Beckett and a very pregnant London walk into the room. She’s having a girl, and they’re naming her Shia.
Kayne turns his head, and clears the emotion from his throat before he faces our extended family.
“I want to see!” Layla rushes to Kayne, and stands on her tippy toes. He leans in slightly to show the children AJ.
“Baby.” Beckett giggles trying to touch him.
“There’s going to be one of these in your house soon,” Kayne tells him.
“They can’t wait,” London informs us, putting a loving hand on Becks’ blond head. He returns a little chicklet-toothed smile.
Kayne hands me AJ and steps back so Jett and London can get a better look. I cannot put into words what it feels like to hold my child. It’s surreal. A manifestation of two people who’s more beautiful and more perfect than I ever dared to imagine.
London caresses AJ’s sweet little cheek with the tip of her finger. “I love him already, Ellie.”
“I do, too,” I reply, brimming with emotions I never knew I had.
Kayne and Jett just look on like two proud lions protective of their pride.
“You’ve done good, grasshopper.” Jett elbows Kayne.
Kayne clenches his jaw and flares his nostrils. “Please don’t make me kill you. I don’t want to shed blood on such a happy day.”
Jett laughs melodramatically. “Like you could ever kill me.”
London and I just roll our eyes in response to our husbands’ ceaseless banter.
No matter how crazy or life-altering the moment, some things will just never change. . . .
C.S. LEWIS ONCE SAID, “LIFE is too deep for words, so don’t try to describe it, just live it.”
That quote simplifies my whole existence. It reminds me to let the past be the past, let the present be the present, and let the future be the future. For a man who loves control, I’ve learned sometimes you just have to let go. I’m not afraid to do that anymore, because I know if I fall (which I do a lot) there is always someone there to catch me. And she catches me every single time.
I watch Ellie playing with AJ in the backyard from the kitchen. He wants her to pick him up, but she’s doing everything in her power to keep him on the ground. She’s eight months pregnant with our second child, and I know she’s exhausted. AJ demands most of her attention. The two-and-a-half-year-old is as aggressive as his father and as loving as his mother. He’s the perfect split, right down to his looks. My face with Ellie’s green eyes and light-brown hair.
; “Okay, time for some juice and a rest.” She carries AJ into the house.
“Dwink! Dwink!” he demands.
“Bossy little thing,” Ellie comments as she grabs a juice box from the refrigerator and then sits AJ on the countertop next to me. “Wonder where you get that from?” she jokes with him, and he smiles from her playful tone.
I smile, too. What can I say? Like father, like son.
“How’s my girl?” I put my arm around Ellie as AJ sucks down his apple juice.
“Busy.” She grabs my hand and puts it on her stomach so I can feel the flutters. “She always knows when you’re close. She’s a daddy’s girl already. I’m going to get replaced pretty soon.”
“No one could ever replace you.” I lift her chin with one finger. “When I asked how my girl was, I meant you.”
“Oh, well, in that case, I feel fat, bloated, and completely unattractive.”
“Nonsense. I see sexy, alluring, and completely gorgeous.”
“Daddy needs his eyes examined,” she says flippantly to AJ, once again causing him to giggle.
As much as she complains about being fat and tired and pregnant, to me she really is the sexiest thing in the world. No amount of chains or collars or restraints can compare to the way she looks in a sundress with a baby growing in her belly.
Being a father changed me profoundly. I always thought I saw Ellie, but I didn’t. Not really, not the way I see her now. I’m completely consumed with love—love for her, love for our children, and love for this life I was miraculously blessed with. Love that envelops me, sustains me, and grounds me. Before Ellie, I thought I knew my fate—a faceless man living a life undercover, just drifting along. But that’s the funny thing about life. You never know what direction it’s going to shove you in. I never thought I would fall in love, never dreamed of getting married or having a family, yet here I am with an amazing wife, a beautiful son, and a daughter on the way. I don’t think words can express the depth of my happiness. The monumental gratitude I feel every time I look at my family. My family. The idea was such a foreign concept, but now that I have everything I never knew I wanted, I would do anything to keep us together. Keep my children safe and my wife happy. Anything. I killed for Ellie once; I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
“Cupcake!” AJ squeals. “Mommy, pwease! Pwease! Cupcake!” He points to the miniature, chocolate frosted cupcakes sitting on the counter.
“Okay, just one.” Ellie picks him up and places him in his high chair.
“Sugar before sleep? Always works for me,” I tease her.
“Good because you’ll be the one putting him down.”
“Oh?” I laugh at her as she peels off the wrapper and hands AJ his fudgy treat.
“Yup.” She licks some frosting off her finger.
As I watch my son devour his snack, I can’t help but think how one simple lick of a cupcake tilted my world on its axis and spun it in a completely different direction. Yes, life definitely is too deep to be described, it can only be lived.
“Kayne, what are you thinking about?” Ellie asks intuitively.
I possessively slip my arm around her waist and pull her against me. “Just how much I love cupcakes.”
Continue on to read Lie with Me
Angels ~ The xx
Animals ~ Maroon 5
Sex and Candy ~ Maroon 5
Heartbeat Song ~ Kelly Clarkson
Lights Go Out ~ Fozzy
I SEE HER COMING BEFORE she sees me.
She's squeezing through the traffic jam of people in front of the door to her office building. She looks perfectly sexy like always, long brownish blonde hair flipping in the breeze, tight skirt hugging all the right curves, and white button-up top leaving everything to the imagination. I walk slowly up the sidewalk, taking my time so I can watch her. I always watch her. And right now I'm watching as her heel gets caught in a crack in the sidewalk. Watching as she flies forward and lands on her hands and knees mere feet in front of me. I hurry to help her as people pass by, either ignoring her or snickering at her as she tries to pull her wits together.
“Okay down there?” I put my hand out to help her. She looks up at me with large green eyes and rosy red cheeks. I feel my blood flow speed up. Ellie on her knees, all doe-eyed and humiliated. I'd take her in that position any day. She doesn't respond, and I frown. Did I say something wrong? Maybe she's really hurt. “Ellie, are you okay? Do you need me to carry you?”
Her lips finally move. “No, I'm okay.” She fumbles as I pluck her up and help her to stand. She stares at me, looking a little lost. I smile down at her, and then drop my gaze lower, unable to stop myself, with her cleavage on full display; if I thought that shirt left everything to the imagination, I was just proven wrong. Her perky, smooth breasts cupped in white lace has my arousal running wild.
“Nice,” I quip before I can stop myself.
She grabs her shirt and yanks it closed, her cheeks glowing brighter. Not wanting to embarrass her any further, I open the door as she rights her shirt and re-fastens the buttons. To say I'm not disappointed would be a lie, I would much rather have her take her clothes off then put them back on.
We walk silently to the elevator, and once on, Ellie pulls the hem of her skirt up just a bit to check the scrape on her knee. I try not to gawk, but she's giving me all types of views I have only fantasized about. I maintain my distance and professionalism when I visit Expo, the shipping company that handles the exportation of my company goods out of Mexico. Tequila and limes have been extraordinarily lucrative for me, and so has Mark, Expo's owner. Although eccentric, he is extremely brilliant at what he does. Which is exactly why I hired him. If there is a way to save a dime, Mark will find it.
The elevator doors ding open, and mine and Ellie's private time is over all too soon.
“Kayne,” Mark greets me with a handshake while also blinding me with a bright purple dress shirt.
“Mark,” I return.
“Everything is set up,” he informs me. “Ellie, please escort Mr. Roberts to the conference room. And tend to whatever he needs.”
“Yes, Mark,” she answers dutifully, and I swear to god hearing those words leave her lips makes me instantly hard. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I have way too many erotic images of Ellie running through my mind already, her succumbing to my darkest desires may just be the temptation of all temptations to step over the line of self-control. I don't know what is it about this girl, but from the moment I laid eyes on her, I have wanted to possess her like the sun owns the light. It's very unlike me.
I follow Ellie to the conference room. I don't really need an escort, I've been here enough times to find it on my own, but I'm not complaining. I get to watch Ellie shimmy down the hallway in that tight skirt, hugging all the right curves of her hips and ass. As nice as Ellie's tits are, it's her ass that has my full attention.
I make myself comfortable in one of the leather office chairs once inside the immense room with large picture windows overlooking New York City. It's not the greatest view in the world, but for Mark's budding company, it's impressive enough.
“Coffee?” Ellie asks me.
“Yes, please.” I smooth my tie, trying to feign disinterest, “Milk-”
“No sugar,” she finishes my sentence. I can't help but smile.
“You remembered.” I don't know why this surprises me, but it does. And not only does it surprise me, but pleasantly so. I like the idea of her knowing what I like. Call it my selfish desire to be served, or even better, serviced, by her.
“It's my job not to forget,” she responds.
“Rare quality. Attentiveness,” I muse, suddenly picturing Ellie's mouth attentively around my cock.
“I guess.” She shrugs, seeming uncomfortable. I wonder if she can read my mind, or if my professional exterior is just wavering. “I'll be right back.” She leaves the room in a hurry.
I wonder if my stiff demeanor scared her off. Playing professional is much more of a challen
ge today.
Disappointingly, Ellie doesn't return before the meeting gets started. Mark was quick to rush in right after she left with his entourage of personnel. Maybe it's for the best. My erotic little fantasies are probably better off being just that, fantasies. Ellie is off limits, untouchable. She doesn't belong in my world, and I certainly don't belong in hers. Our differences are just too wide spread. Even if she was open to my self-indulgent ideals, would I really want to corrupt something so adorable? So frisky and warm? Turn a cuddly little kitten into a lecherous house cat? As she hands me my coffee and our fingers brush, I consider the answer to maybe be yes. Definitely yes. Hell fucking yes. I want her to be my kitten. My naked, submissive, lascivious little sex kitten, who comes in a multitude of ways when I call her.
I need to stop. Put the idea of Ellie being mine completely out of my head. It can't happen, I tell myself as I stare blatantly at her ass while she bends over and places a plate of baked goods in the center of the table. I can still look even if I can't touch. It's a disappointing sentiment, but one I have to stick by, no matter how much my cock curses me.
I force myself to concentrate on Mark as Ellie leaves the room. I'm here for business and that's what I need to focus on. Too bad my mind has other plans and wanders off to an image of Ellie splayed out on the conference room table, her shirt ripped open, her breasts exposed, her skirt hiked up to her hips with my head buried between her legs- licking, sucking, savoring her sweet spot as I make her come. I'd relish in her screams right before I buried myself balls deep in her wet pussy and fucked her until I forgot where she began and I ended.
“Kayne?” I faintly hear my name. “Kayne?” Mark's voice cuts through my vivid fantasy.
“Mmm?” I answer, mindlessly.
“What do you think?” The new route? It's a huge cost savings in the end.”
“It's good.” I try to sound self-assured, even though I heard little to nothing of what Mark said.
“So I can start the charters next week?” he asks eagerly.
“Absolutely.” I'm going to have to study this plan later on today. That's what I get for daydreaming. I glance out one of the windows into the office and see Ellie. My fantasizing was totally worth it.
