“And now you’re your own boss?”
He grinned. “Now I get to buy my own flipping toothpicks.”
Sabrina laughed and stood. “I’m starving. You guys had dinner?”
“Yeah. We ordered pizza. There’s some in the kitchen for you,” Declan said.
Throwing him a grateful glance, she headed that way. “Thanks. I didn’t have lunch. Be right back.”
“She’s even more beautiful than I remember.”
Sabrina halted just inside the kitchen door. Neither man could see her as she listened shamelessly for Declan’s reply. His response was a grunt—not the least bit flattering or encouraging. How stupid and juvenile was she? Eavesdropping like some anxious teenager hoping to hear a compliment from the hottest guy in school. Stupid, because this particular hot guy, who also happened to be her husband, continued to act as if she meant nothing to him.
They hadn’t yet talked about what happened the night before she had left for Caracas. At some point they had to address it, but she wanted to delay the inevitable as long as possible. She already knew what he would say.
Her mood more somber than when she’d entered the apartment, Sabrina went about reheating a couple of slices of pizza. She stayed in the kitchen and ate what she could, wanting to give herself a few minutes of peace before returning to the living room. Being in Declan’s presence for very long always set up an ache in her chest. Trying to consume a meal when he was around had become somewhat difficult, as swallowing was almost impossible with a lump in her throat.
One good thing she had learned today was that Riley should make a full and complete recovery. The young operative was now at the LCR medical facility but still had several more weeks of recuperation and rehab before she would be able to return to work in any kind of capacity. Sabrina had managed to see her for a few minutes earlier today. The small, pale woman lying on the bed had looked nothing like the energetic and focused Riley Ingram. She had looked as harmless and innocent as a child.
Justin had been by his partner’s side almost from the moment he’d been allowed in to see her in Caracas. He had been there today, too. The worry etched on the man’s face made Sabrina wonder if his and Riley’s relationship would change once she was back on the job. It would be interesting to watch.
Sabrina’s own injury was still a little inconvenient, and Noah had pulled her off ops for a couple more weeks. She would have protested, but she had been too grateful. Since Declan had returned, she hadn’t had much downtime and was running on fumes. Also, despite his insistence that he didn’t need her help, Sabrina planned to assist him in finding out who had betrayed them.
She was glad he had called Jackson for input. She hadn’t worked with the man on many ops but she did remember that he had a tendency to see things from a different perspective. His help could be essential.
And unless Declan put his foot down, there was another man she wanted to ask for assistance. Since Declan’s return, Albert had called several times to check on him. Each time she had talked with him, her doubts about his betrayal increased. But would Declan agree?
Throwing away the remains of her pizza, Sabrina took her beer and returned to the living room.
Settling back on the sofa, she was ready to plan their strategy. She and Declan had talked this morning before she’d headed off to her meeting with Noah, and he had agreed with her that the fact that LCR was providing help needed to stay with them. Noah, Angela, and Jake were taking a huge risk by hacking into a government agency. It could come back and bite them in the ass. The last thing she wanted to do was cause problems for LCR and the people she had come to love and respect.
“So did you guys discuss the most likely suspects?” Sabrina asked.
“Not yet,” Declan said.
“Between the three of us, we know most of the players from our time with the Agency,” Jackson said. “I can run background checks and—”
Declan shook his head. “That’s already being done.”
A dark frown furrowed Jackson’s brow. “Man, you don’t have the resources I do. I can get it done a lot faster and—”
“We’ve got it covered,” Sabrina said. She grinned, hoping to take the sting out of Declan’s gruffness. “I’ve got friends, too.”
“So you don’t want my help?”
“Of course we do,” Sabrina assured him. “I left the Agency over four years ago, and with Declan’s job, he didn’t get to work out in the field with as many agents as he once did.”
Jackson lifted a shoulder. “Sure. Whatever I can do to help, you know I will.”
She appreciated his attitude. Even though he might be offended that they weren’t sharing more information with him, his willingness to help in any way he could showed his loyalty and maturity.
“So who’s on your short list?” Jackson asked.
Declan named his top five, with Darius Ronan being his top pick.
Jackson gave a slow, considering nod. “Yeah. I could see all of them wanting a go at you. But are you sure it’s not just someone inside the Agency? You had a tendency to ruffle feathers.”
“You mean Jason Starling,” Declan said.
“You have to admit, the guy didn’t like you.”
That was an understatement. Professional jealousy was never pretty, but Starling had gone out of his way to vilify Declan’s name by claiming that he was too much of a risk taker. He was one of the few who knew Declan had been up for Albert’s job. Starling was aware of it only because his own name had been bandied about for the position as well. The man had wanted the job and didn’t mind telling others he’d do a better job than Declan.
“He’s on my list, but…I don’t know. This seems too lowlife for him.”
“Lower than going straight to the president and telling him you were a loose cannon?”
Yeah, that’d pissed him off, but in a way Declan had understood. He and Starling were polar opposites when it came to running an op. The man trusted intel more than his gut. Declan had a healthy respect for intel but would always go with his instincts.
“The man seemed genuinely surprised to see me the other day. Almost like he was glad I was alive.”
“You’ve seen Starling?” Sabrina asked.
Declan didn’t know who looked the most horrified and surprised, Sabrina or Jackson.
“What the hell?” Jackson said. “Where? How?”
“I went to the Agency, walked around a bit.”
“Declan? What were you thinking?” The horror in Sabrina’s voice almost made him smile.
“That whoever did this might still be there…probably is still there. He or she needed to see I’m alive, healthy, and royally pissed.”
In his opinion, the entire event had been anticlimactic. He’d called a secure number, got transferred to Jason Starling. The man had agreed to let him come inside but was surprisingly absent when Declan arrived. A serious looking young man Declan had never seen before had been waiting on him and other than saying, “Hello, Mr. Steele” no words had been spoken inside the building.
The Agency was small, employing less than fifty people, both field agents and support staff. All eyes had been on him as he’d leisurely made his way through the maze of desks. Nodding at a few people he recognized, he hadn’t stopped to chat. The visit had lasted less than three minutes.
He’d been outside, standing on the sidewalk of the Washington Monument when Starling had called out his name.
“What did Jason say to you?” Sabrina asked.
“Just that he was damn glad to see me alive. Said they were doing an internal investigation, trying to determine who sold me out. Said the mole had been silent for over a year.”
Temper flashed in her eyes. “He wasn’t accusing you, was he?”
“No. He actually apologized for being such an asshole before.”
“That’s kind of easy for him, since he got the job he wanted.” The dry irony in Jackson’s voice indicated he wasn’t ready to believe in Starling’s innocence.
“I’m not saying the guy is innocent. Hell, he may have set it all up and is doing a masterful snow job.”
“How did you leave it with him?” Sabrina asked.
“We agreed to share significant intel when we got it.” Declan lifted a shoulder. “Then I walked away.”
Jackson shook his head as he gave an admiring whistle. “You always did have balls of steel.”
Declan grinned. “Hence the name.”
Jackson leaned forward in his seat. “You know, you’ve got someone on your side who knows more about the Agency than the three of us combined. A helluva lot more than Jason Starling will ever know. Any reason you’re not involving him?”
“You’re talking about Albert, I assume,” Declan said.
“The man knows everything. He even remembered my nephew Stuart’s name. Asked me about him the last time I saw him. He’s got a memory almost as good as yours.”
Before Declan could respond, either positively or negatively, Sabrina jumped in. “I agree, Declan. Al would be of great benefit.”
Confused, he shot her a narrow-eyed look. “I thought you suspected him, too.”
Her grimace was a mixture of guilt and uncertainty. “I did. But I’m wondering if my suspicions were colored by my anger at him. He was in charge when all this went down. I know he feels a grave responsibility for what happened to you.”
“Maybe because he had something to do with it,” Declan countered.
“That’s pure bullshit, man,” Jackson snapped. “He treated you like the son he never had.”
Declan pulled in a silent breath. Jackson was right. Albert Marks had taken him under his wing when he’d first gone to the Agency. Everything he had learned about covert operations and intel gathering, he had gotten from his mentor.
“After what you’ve been through, I understand why you trust so few people, but is there a specific reason you think Albert might be involved?” Sabrina asked.
Was there? Had his torturers tried to make him believe Albert was guilty, too? He rubbed his temple where an insistent throb was pounding. For so long he had believed Sabrina had betrayed him, but when he’d allowed himself some rational thought, he had realized that was downright crazy. Was that the same reason he thought Albert had something to do with it, too? Or was it an instinctive reaction to something he didn’t want to be true?
“Declan, you’re going to have to trust him,” Sabrina said. “I finally had to realize that the man isn’t invincible. He made a mistake and let a traitor in. That doesn’t mean he is the traitor.”
“I’ll give it more thought.” He took in both their gazes and said, “But for now, let’s start naming names.”
They worked late into the night, each recalling what they could about every individual they’d worked with in their time at the Agency. When Sabrina stifled her third yawn in as many minutes, Declan called it quits.
“Let’s call it a night. We’ve got the names and most of the data we’ll get from memory.”
Jackson gathered his notes. “I’ll run these and see what—”
“No need,” Sabrina said. “Like I said, I’ve got them covered.”
“So when are you going to fill me in on this mysterious job you have? Declan won’t tell me anything about it.”
Declan wasn’t surprised to hear Sabrina laugh off the question with a, “Let’s just say I don’t have to wear those damn stilettos nearly as often as I used to.”
Sadness flickered in Jackson’s eyes, and he knew his friend was hurt by her brush-off. There was no reason for anyone to know she worked for LCR, even the man who’d rescued him.
Jackson stopped at the open door and turned back around. As if things weren’t uncomfortable enough, he said, “It’s so damned good to see you two together again.”
The door closed behind him before either of them could think of a suitable response.
Sabrina shot Declan a grimacing smile. “Well, that was awkward.”
“Yeah.” He shoved his hand through his hair and blew out a sigh. Hell, it had to be said. “About the other night.”
Her body went limp like a deflated tire. “I don’t think I’m up for that discussion tonight.”
“We have to have it sometime.”
“Okay, fine. Say what you have to say.”
Now that the time had come, he was at a loss for words. Even as tired as he could see she was, Sabrina was still as lovely to him as the day he’d met her. It wasn’t just her physical beauty that appealed to him, it was who she was on the inside. A place she allowed few people to see. She had a beautiful heart. A gentle spirit that had almost been completely decimated before she’d gone to EDJE, but there had been a small flame still inside her. The care, attention, and training she had received had made that flame brighter.
“Declan?”
He gave himself a mental shake. Dwelling on the past would get him nowhere. Better get to it and get it over with. “You’re one of the most beautiful people I know, inside and out.”
“That wasn’t what you thought a couple of weeks ago.”
“No, and I’m sorry about that. I said some stupid, asinine things. Things I didn’t mean.” Pain seared his head again. “I still don’t know what happened to make me believe you betrayed me. I just—”
A warm hand gripped his wrist. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. You’ve apologized already.”
Declan nodded. What more could he do other than move on from here and be as honest as he could? “Thinking that just shows how screwed up my brain is. What I went through—I was trained for that. I didn’t give up any information. I can be sure of that. But they didn’t leave me with a lot, Sabrina. I’m not the same man I once was.”
“I see some changes in you. Not as many as you seem to think, but the ones I do see…I’m sorry for them. It hurts me to know what you endured.” She swallowed hard. “The irony isn’t lost on me. While you were held captive, going through hell, I was rescuing strangers. I’m proud of those rescues, but the thought of you out there somewhere while I was rescuing others… It’s hard…very hard to take. I’m just glad Jackson followed his instincts.”
“Yeah, I owe him a lot.” He shook his head. Hell, he still hadn’t said what he needed to say. “Here’s the thing. I can’t be your husband anymore.”
Sabrina pulled in a breath before she could release it in a gasp. Even though she had known that’s what he was going to say, or some version of it, the words hurt worse than the knife she’d taken in her side last week.
“I…” She stopped, tried again “We haven’t...you haven’t…” She pressed a shaking hand to the top of her nose where the burn of tears had developed. “Let’s not make any major decisions until this is over. Okay? We’ve got more than enough to keep us busy without getting involved in any kind of legal separation or divorce.” She winced when her voice trembled over the D-word.
“I just didn’t want you to misinterpret what happened the other night.”
Fury replaced the hurt. “Don’t worry. Just because you screwed me senseless gave me no illusion that I was anything more to you than a willing body.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Do I? Ever since you returned you’ve treated me with disdain, distrust. You’ve gone out of your way to let me know that you don’t want me as your wife. That you don’t see yourself as my husband. Why the hell would I even begin to misinterpret sex between us? It’d been a long time for both of us. We let off a lot of built-up steam.” She headed to her bedroom. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sabrina... I—”
She didn’t bother to see if he could come up with anything else. Whatever came out of his mouth was sure to either be the same thing or hurt her even more. She was too tired to deal with it tonight.
Chapter Twenty-three
Angela Delvecchio was a godsend. What would have taken Declan months to uncover, she’d found in a matter of days.
In some ways, investigati
ng his former boss made him feel guilty. Albert Marks had been his friend and mentor. Had hired him, trained him. Had brought Sabrina into his life. He owed the man more than he could ever repay. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t keeping secrets. If Albert was the one who’d set him up and sold him out, Declan had to know. And if he was innocent, then Sabrina and Jackson were right. The man would be an invaluable resource.
On paper, the man who had killed evil men and ordered the destruction of terrorist cells and mad dictators was almost boringly normal. The EDJE founder was financially comfortable but not wealthy. His withdrawals, deposits, and indebtedness showed nothing suspicious. His family consisted of a wife, three grown children, five grandchildren, a Maltese named Maximilian and a cat named Star.
Odd to just now be learning these things about a man he had known for over fifteen years. Sharing personal information wasn’t something you did inside the Agency, even with people you trusted.
Damn amazing that he and Sabrina had ever gotten together. He rubbed at the persistent pain in his head at the thought of Sabrina. Their conversation the other night had been as awkward and gut-wrenching as he had feared. And he had, once again, hurt her. Every time he thought about that painful conversation, he wanted to smash something. He had always had a gift for words. He credited his father for introducing him to the written word long before he could even walk. He’d grown up reading the classics, devoured every word of poetry Robert Burns had penned and used to quote him often.
As a younger man, Declan had used words to seduce women into his bed, and once he’d started working ops for the Agency, he had used them to pluck secrets from people without them knowing it. With Sabrina, he had been much less poetic. Raw was the only word he could come up with. His feelings for her were so basic and gut-level strong that poetry had often escaped him, and it was just pure emotion that came through. She had never seemed to mind.
Why hadn’t he been kinder to her when he told her he could no longer be married to her? She’d gone three shades paler than her normal creamy complexion, and her eyes had darkened to a dull green. He had wanted to take the words back as soon as they’d escaped his mouth. Even though he had meant them, something tore inside him to be saying that to her. She had been the love of his life, his everything. Even though he no longer had those emotions, it didn’t mean he wanted her hurt.
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