‘What the hell just happened?’
‘We didn’t think, Cooper. That’s what just happened.’ Maggie couldn’t look at him anymore. She turned and went to the doorway but before she closed the door behind her, she turned to Cooper. He looked gorgeous and dishevelled and completely at sea. ‘Go back to sleep, Cooper. I’ve got this.’
She closed the door behind her and went to find some clothes so she could look like a mom and make breakfast for her son.
*
By the time Cooper got out of bed, Maggie had already cleaned up the kitchen and was in the laundry room doing a load of Evan’s clothes. On the table was a plate, and when he lifted the foil covering it, there was a stack of pancakes, still warm. He sat down, poured some maple syrup over them and ate then down hungrily.
He hadn’t gone back to sleep. He’d lain there in bed, thinking about what Maggie had said.
She’d accused him of not thinking about what they were doing. She was damn wrong about that. He hadn’t been able to think of anything else since they’d made love that first night. Because … Maggie. His dream woman—Maggie—seemed finally free of Vance, free enough to open her heart to someone else. And he wanted it to be him. He’d pushed away the thought for a long time, years, and made do with being her friend, but they’d moved beyond that now. Like a million miles away from being friends and he didn’t want to go back. He thought back to something Maggie had said the first night they’d made love. She’d said that she used to be the kind of person who took risks, who did crazy things without thinking of the consequences.
They were more alike than she knew. To be a competitive surfer, he had to take risks. Being safe meant sitting on the sand. It wasn’t in his nature to second-guess himself. And now, with Maggie, he didn’t want to. Being with her wasn’t a risk. He was beginning to think it was the best chance he’d ever taken in his life because he was beginning to hope for a future with Maggie—and Evan. All he needed to do now was convince her.
Because he sure as hell didn’t have a future as a surfer anymore. Being in Maggie’s bed had distracted him from the cold, hard truth of his situation. His career was over. Alfie knew it in his heart, but had been too hesitant to say it out loud. But Cooper knew it. And that meant he could settle somewhere. Finally put down roots. He’d always thought that would be back in Sydney, near his brothers. He had enough money to have a pretty damn good life back home in Sydney and enough business interests to keep him occupied. He wouldn’t miss accumulating frequent flyer miles as he flew from one surf comp to another.
Problem was, that wasn’t where Maggie and Evan were.
He looked around her little kitchen. From somewhere in the house, he could hear Evan’s voice and the chug of the washing machine. He didn’t know where Maggie was but he had to find her. There were things to say. Six years of things to say.
But first, he had to find Evan. The kid had already had a father—even if it was a father in name only—let him down and even though it was only a simple no-show for breakfast, Cooper didn’t want the kid to think he’d bailed on him too.
*
Evan was under his bed with his scruffy koala, Fizzy.
With a great deal of difficulty, Cooper managed to manoeuvre himself flat on his stomach, and found himself peering through a disaster area of dinosaurs, building blocks, dog-eared books, a stray sock or two, the crust of a sandwich and a damp towel. The sight took Cooper back to his own childhood. His bedroom was his whole world when he was Evan’s age, even if the historic house he’d grown up in had three wings and eight bathrooms. Later, the beach became his world, and the waves had saved a lost teenage boy from getting into a world of trouble. Cooper knew that for all intents and purposes, he had saved himself, but he still thought it had been so unfair for a young man to have no-one watching his back.
This little dude? The one hiding under his bed with his koala tucked under his arm? He would never feel like that, Cooper swore it.
‘Evan? You gonna come out?’
‘No,’ the boy replied.
Cooper lowered his head to peer underneath. ‘Man, you’ve got a lot of shit under this bed. Oh crap. I shouldn’t have said shit. Oh hell, I shouldn’t have said crap.’
He heard a giggle and he knew he was in.
‘Let me start that again. Golly gosh, you’ve got a lot of stuff under here.’
‘When Mommy asks me to clean my room I just put it all under here.’
‘Ahh,’ Cooper nodded. ‘I used to do the same. But you know what? My mom found out one day, and then I had to do this massive clean-up. And I had to wash the dishes for a whole week.’
‘Weren’t dishwashers invented then, Cooper?’
He rolled his eyes. His knee made him feel old enough without the kid thinking he was ancient, too.
‘Listen, Evan. Sorry I didn’t make pancakes this morning, mate.’
There was a long pause. ‘That’s okay. Mommy made them. They were good.’
Yeah, they no doubt were. And there was no doubt there were a whole lot of things Maggie did better when it came to Evan. Like every damn thing. ‘Listen Evan, can we make a deal? Can you promise never to tell your mom I said shit or crap? I’ll get into a whole world of trouble.’
Evan giggled. ‘Mommy doesn’t like swears.’
‘She’s a very smart mommy. So, is that a deal?’ Cooper swiped away a couple of trucks and reached out a hand.
Evan didn’t respond. Cooper waited. He didn’t want to be on shaky ground with Evan but he didn’t want to push, either.
‘I get it. You want to think about it for a while.’
‘Cooper?’ Evan’s voice was small and vulnerable.
‘Yeah, mate?’
‘Are you my Daddy?’
Shit. Crap. Holy fuck.
*
Later that afternoon, Maggie was hit by a headache that floored her. Cooper had demanded she go and lie down, convincing her he could hold the fort while she slept, and she took him up on the offer, glad to be away from his suspicious eyes and his care.
Stress headache, much?
How could she have been so stupid? She’d spent the past five years making sure Evan had stability and normality in his life and what had she done? She’d been crazy enough to let herself think that she could get away with sleeping with Cooper, that there would be no consequences to letting go like that.
She should have known better.
Her whole life was consequences.
And now Evan would feel them, too. As soon as he could, Cooper would be back on a plane and gone. She’d spent her whole life protecting Evan and now her own actions might be the ones to break his heart. Her mother’s words had been going round in her head all afternoon as she tried to sleep. It confuses Evan when Cooper is here.
Serena had been only half right. It was confusing for Maggie too. She’d sworn to never let on to him how she felt and she’d gone and ruined everything with him, too. She’d done it again. She’d cast all responsibility aside and made a big mistake.
‘What have I done?’ Maggie murmured and the words rolled around in her aching head as she finally drifted off to sleep.
*
Maggie was woken by a knock on her door. She blinked her eyes open and realised it was dark. Cooper came in, closed the door behind him and hobbled over to the bed. He sat down and studied her face.
‘God, what’s the time? It’s dark. I overslept,’ she muttered.
‘You did and that’s good.’ Cooper reached out and pressed his palm gently to her forehead.
It was so comforting that Maggie wanted to cry. Sitting right in front of her was a man who could take her to heaven and back three times in one night and console her when she was feeling ill. During the past five years, there had been no-one there to feel if she had a temperature. No-one there to care for her if she was sick. How could she cope with losing this? With losing him?
‘Has Evan been asking after me?’ she asked. ‘Where is he?’
‘H
e’s okay.’ Cooper looked strange. Not angry, but strangely sad. He pressed his palms onto the mattress on either side of his hips and stared off into the dim light of the room. ‘That little dude …’
Maggie felt a rush of something. She sat up, tried to get out of bed, but Cooper stopped her.
‘Whoa. Stay right where you are.’
She tried to shake him off. ‘If he’s upset, he’ll want me.’
‘He won’t be calling for you. He’s out to it, with Fizzy safely tucked under his arm.’
All the tension left her shoulders. ‘You got him to sleep?’
Cooper ran a hand through his hair and chuckled. ‘Yeah. I told him some Daffy Duck stories until he drifted off.’
He turned to Maggie, his eyes soft and dark. ‘Something happened earlier today, after breakfast. I didn’t want to talk to you about it until he was asleep.’ Cooper took a deep breath. ‘Evan asked me if I was his dad.’
Maggie’s hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. ‘Oh, no. What did you say?’
‘I told him that no, I wasn’t his dad.’
‘Oh, poor Evan.’ And right then, Maggie wanted to cry for her confused little man. And she wanted to cry for what she’d put him through, what she’d wrapped him up in. ‘What have we done?’ Maggie pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes. She really wanted to grab her pillow and smother herself with it. All this sex—this blow-your-mind sex—with Cooper was no help at all when it came to creating a clear space to think.
Cooper found her shoulder and rested a hand there.
Maggie moved her hands from her face and looked at him. ‘We’ve screwed this up, haven’t we? We’ve confused that little boy because we didn’t think.’
‘I get that, Maggie.’
‘You know what my problem is? I didn’t think it through before I stormed into your room and took you up on your offer. By the way, why did you offer?’
‘Jeez, Maggie. Don’t you know?’
Maggie shook her head.
Cooper looked at her like she was crazy. ‘I don’t want to stop having sex with you. We were great as friends but I think we’re rock stars as lovers.’
Lovers. They definitely were lovers.
‘Coop … You know why I’ve been single so long? It’s not because I didn’t have offers. I did. But I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing someone into Evan’s life who wouldn’t stay. I just couldn’t put him through it. He’s never had a father, and I didn’t want him to get attached to anyone who would leave.’
Cooper slipped his arm around her and moved in close. She could feel the pounding of his heart against hers and she was sure hers echoed right back into his chest.
‘Listen, Maggie. That’s not all I told him when he asked if I was his old man. I was honest with him and I said that no, I didn’t help to make him.’
Her eyes pricked with sad tears. She wanted to go to her son, to hold him, to reassure herself she hadn’t ruined his life by sleeping with Cooper, by letting him fall in love with the man, like she had, who was about to go back on the road.
‘I also told him that while I might not be his real dad, I told him I was there the first time he walked and the first time he face planted into the rug in the living room. That he’d peed on me once and that I taught him how to swim and ride his bike.’
‘You remember all that?’ Now Maggie’s tears flowed for real at what she was hearing. There was genuine love for her son in his words.
‘Of course I do, Maggie. I love that kid, don’t you know that? Like he was my own. I wish he was my own.’
Oh, how Maggie wished Cooper was Evan’s father. She realised she’d been holding back from other men because she could never love a man who didn’t love Evan. Her son was half her heart after all, and a man who only loved half of her wouldn’t get any of her. But here was Cooper, who loved her son, who wished he was his own son.
‘You’re a good man, Cooper Malone,’ she sniffed into his T-shirt. ‘Evan’s so lucky to have you in his life. And he’ll tell you that one day. When he understands what you mean to him.’
Cooper wasn’t Evan’s biological father, but in that moment, lost in that look in his eyes, oh how she wished he was.
Chapter Thirteen
‡
It was Monday morning. Maggie was about to have her first cup of coffee for the morning and Cooper? He wasn’t there when Maggie got back from walking Evan to school. She was glad he was out, getting some air. The less cooped up he felt, the better he would be.
Just as she’d poured her coffee, there was a knock at the front door. When she opened it, Cooper’s manager Alfie threw Maggie a warm smile.
‘Hello, darlin’.’
‘Hi, Alfie,’ Maggie said. ‘This is a pleasant surprise.’ She was even more surprised when he pressed a bouquet of flowers into her arms. She sniffed the red roses. ‘These are lovely. Thank you.’
‘It’s always a delight to see you, Maggie.’ Alfie leaned down to kiss her on both cheeks. He looked slick and stylish as ever, from his quiff hairdo to his designer surf-wear shirt, and he sported a wicked smile, which improved her mood no end. She couldn’t help but like Alfie, not only for his charm and the roses, but for his particular loyalty to Cooper.
‘Where’s that lad of yours?’ Alfie looked over her shoulder and down the hallway.
‘If you mean Evan, I just dropped him off at school. Can I offer you a coffee?’
‘A cup of tea would be smashing.’ Alfie followed Maggie to the kitchen, where she hunted for a vase tall enough to accommodate the long-stemmed roses. She didn’t often get flowers. She tried to think about the last time a man had shown up with a bouquet and came up with nothing. Cooper always brought wine, not blooms. Wine was friendly. Flowers were something more, unless you were Alfie and then it was just Alfie.
‘Please, have a seat while I make your tea. I’m guessing you’re here to see Cooper, not to woo me, as sad as that is.’
‘Oh, Mags, can’t a man do both?’ Alfie laughed and winked at her. ‘As a matter of fact, I am here to see the big fella. Might he be around? He glanced around the room as if the act of looking would conjure Cooper out of thin air.
Maggie shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. ‘I’m not sure. I’m guessing he’s headed out to stretch his legs and get some air.’
Maggie had noticed his absence as soon as she’d got home. She could sense it as soon as she’d opened the front door: her house felt strangely empty now without him in it, taking up too much space, playing and laughing with Evan, lying next to her. His phone and sunglasses were gone from their regular spot on the kitchen bench—why the man couldn’t put them on the perfectly good dresser in his room she didn’t know—so she figured he’d gone out to have a hobble around the block. His knee was getting stronger, but he still favoured it. To distract herself from Alfie’s knowing look, Maggie rummaged around in her cupboards for a vase and then took her time arranging the roses in it. When the kettle boiled, she found a teabag, dropped in into a mug and poured hot water over it. At least that’s how she thought a cup of tea was made. She found her sugar bowl and set it on the table in front of Alfie.
‘Thanks, love.’ He took a sip and sighed dramatically. ‘That’s a really terrible cuppa but it’ll do. Does nobody do a decent tea in this country?’ Alfie winked at Maggie playfully but drank it down anyway. ‘Hang on, what’s this?’ He’d found the magazine with Cooper on the cover and was flicking through the pages.
‘Evan likes the picture. He tucked it under his pillow once.’ And there it was, another pang of guilt. She’d known all along that Evan idolised Cooper. How could she have put her little boy’s heart at risk?
‘It’s a great shot. That magazine sells all over the world, which is exactly where the Malone surf gear is selling. Love that.’
Maggie pulled out a chair and sat. ‘I hear you’re going back to Sydney with Cooper at the end of the month.’
Alfie sipped his tea and smacked his lips. ‘Yeah, he’s got the wedd
ing, and we’ve got some other business to sort out while he’s down under. While this damn turn of affairs with his knee is bloody unlucky, turns out it’s not so unlucky for Callum. Since Cooper can’t do Hawaii and Bell’s Beach this year, he can be in Sydney for the wedding.’
Maggie stilled. Cooper hadn’t said a word about pulling out of any competitions. ‘He’s not competing?’
‘Not with that knee, he’s not.’
‘I didn’t think it was that …’ Maggie took a deep breath. She knew Cooper better than he clearly thought and in that moment, in the space of just one sentence from Alfie, she knew that Cooper had been hiding the truth from her. ‘When can he get back on a board then?’
Alfie looked at her, serious now. ‘I dunno, Maggie. I’m waiting for him to tell me, which is kind of why I’m here today. He hasn’t been answering my calls all weekend. Something’s up with our boy. Do you know what it is?’
‘Does she know what?’
Maggie and Alfie looked up. Cooper stood in the doorway, wearing board shorts, a T-shirt and an expression dark as a winter storm. His keys and his phone were in one hand. The fingers on his other hand were drumming on this thigh.
‘Ah,’ Alfie said, looking up to his friend and client. ‘Mate. I was just having a discussion with Maggie here about Sydney and the wedding.’
Cooper clearly wasn’t in the mood for the joke. ‘What are you doing here, Alfie?’
The vase full of flowers caught his eye and then he glanced at Maggie. ‘And where did those come from?’
Maggie looked from one man to the other. They were having a conversation full of subtext that she couldn’t quite grasp. ‘Alfie brought them.’ She paused, considered for half a second if she should say anything, and then just said it anyway. ‘He says you’ve pulled out of Hawaii and Bell’s this year.’
Cooper said nothing.
‘You haven’t been answering my calls, Coop. I came here to talk to Maggie and find out what’s been going on.’
The Rebel (The Millionaire Malones Book 3) Page 12
