Gemma waited as he gave orders to bring the ship closer to the white sand shores. She marvelled at the brightness of the Caribbean sun and the lush vegetation, and the heat of the sun that warmed her. She had actually missed the Caribbean. The fresh salty sea air had a different composition to the stale polluted air of London. She couldn’t help but feel excitement.
“Come,” he said and urged her toward the rope ladder that led down the side of the ship to the small boat floating in wait. There were men in the boat and Gemma felt very conscious that if the wind flared her skirts, they would likely see her legs.
Once seated, they pushed away and two of the men started rowing them to shore. Gemma couldn’t help but feel her excitement rise even more, even if just for being out of the cabin for a while.
The boat reached the shore, but it was still a few feet away from dry land. James jumped out of the boat and turned back and grabbed her by her waist and legs, carrying her to shore. She felt silly being carried by him, but her shoes were not made for wading through water. It was disconcerting to feel his strong arms around her body once more, carrying her so easily. They hadn’t actually touched often since she’d recovered and the last time had been disconcerting—as had every time before.
Stepping away from him as soon as he put her down, she tried to create distance between them and the feeling of touching itself.
“Come, I have something to show you,” he smiled. She hadn’t quite seen such a carefree smile on him before. He started walking toward the heavy vegetation just off the beach, still smiling when he turned to see that she was following and it reassured her somewhat as she started to follow. He led her through what could only be described as jungle.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Where are the others going?” she asked as she noted that none of the others were following them.
“To gather water.” He stopped at a tree and pulled down a purple fruit which he cut in half with his blade. He gave half of it to her and took a bite of the other.
“Star apples,” she said. She’d had one once before and bit into the sweet purple fruit that had the shape of a star across the cut. The skin was tough, but the fruit inside was sweet and juicy. It had been weeks since she’d had fruit and it tasted divine.
He continued walking through the dense jungle and Gemma started to wonder if he knew where he was going. After a while she started hearing a thundering sound.
“What is that?”
“A waterfall.”
“Truly?” Gemma said with excitement. From the sounds of it, it was large.
“There’s a swimming hole.”
The noise grew louder as they got closer and the jungle gave way to a dark swimming hole fed by a waterfall, which had to be twenty feet high.
“Come on,” he said as he turned and beamed at her before whipping the linen shirt off himself revealing his broad chest. Gemma’s breath hitched and she looked away. His comfort with his own nudity was still very confronting to her. She heard him undo his belt and then wade into the water. She turned to see him moving into the water away from the small shoreline. She again saw the scars that ran across his back, covering the powerful muscles down his back and legs. The water obscured his form as he got deeper.
Groaning with pleasure, he turned and let himself fall into the water, disappearing for a while and Gemma couldn’t see him before he surfaced close to the actual waterfall.
“It’s heavenly,” he shouted. “You should come in.”
Gemma felt a frown cross her features. She couldn’t very well strip down to nothing and go swimming like him. She should definitely not be going swimming with a pirate in a secluded swimming hole, and especially one that she couldn’t trust not to steal kisses. But she suddenly felt her own uncleanliness. She hadn’t had a bath in three weeks and that included all the fever sweats that were soaked into the nightgown that served as her shift. She knew she didn’t smell wonderfully and she was in dire need of a proper wash, but they would have fresh water and she could wash herself with a cloth as she had been doing.
“What are you waiting for?” He dived under the water again and surfaced closer to her. “Why are you still standing there?”
“Because this is inappropriate.”
“There is no-one here to see you.”
“You’re here to see me. That is the point.”
“Will you allow yourself no pleasures in life? I wonder at your lot sometimes; you have all of the advantages, but you give yourself no leeway to just enjoy yourself.” He swam closer to the shore where he could hold himself up by his hands while his body floated. His dark hair was slicked back with water and water drops glistened off his shoulders.
“It is my duty to make sure I do not put myself in compromising positions.”
“I put you in a compromising situation.”
“And it is my duty to minimize it as much as possible.”
“Must everything be about duty with you, is there no room for pleasure?”
“Is that what this is?” She wasn’t entirely sure what this was—the complete shirking of duty and appropriate behavior to behave like a child.
“Yes, nothing but the sheer joy of being alive.”
She wasn’t normally the biggest stickler for etiquette, but she felt that the demarcation between appropriate and wild abandon was thin at the moment. She looked down at him as he moved around the water. The sheer joy he obviously felt at swimming in this jungle waterfall told her that she was seeing part of his true nature, which made her wonder at the other sides she’d seen. He was capable of such brutality, but he also sought simple pleasures like swimming.
“Will you never just live for the moment?” he continued. “You aren’t around your people now; you could just live for your own pleasure for a moment. No-one will see, why don’t you just be a pirate for a little while.”
“Is that what being a pirate is?”
“It is the reward for being a pirate; you can be true to your own nature and not have to conform to what society insists you must be. I know you must strive against its confines. It wasn’t society that saw you take over that ship and defeat me. It makes me wonder what else is in you—too constrained to see the light of day for the purposes of conforming to society’s determination of what you should be. It won’t even let you do the most simple and innocent of things, like take a swim in wonderfully refreshing water. You will return to London soon enough—return to a life of never ending denial and conformity. You may never get the opportunity again.”
Gemma felt his words twist her insides. As much as she hated it, every word was true. She would go back and she would have to live an exemplary life—beyond anyone’s reproach—just to make up for her absence if nothing else. It was beyond tempting to let that burden go just for a little while and be free just for a moment—a moment she would remember her whole life for all the things that were to come and all the times she would deny herself things she would in actuality love to do. Her life would forever be about the things she should do.
She made a decision. She wanted this memory. She undid the ties of her dress and let it slide over her head. She was not taking her nightgown off; she wasn’t about to stroll around naked—besides, it needed a clean even more than she did. She waded into the water as he watched. It was cool and it made her nightgown swirled around her legs.
He smiled when she was up to her chin. He looked so different when he smiled, like he had no cares in the world. He was so different from the scary man she’d seen and she couldn’t quite reconcile the two. With him like this, she felt like they could be friends. He embraced joy so completely and she envied that.
She tried swimming. She’d been a girl the last time she’d swam. She stayed afloat, which was what she hoped for. She certainly didn’t have his command of the water. He dove and surfaced, moved around like a seal.
Diving under the water, he disappeared and Gemma felt him grab slightly at her an
kles in the dark water before surfacing not far away.
“Don’t do that,” she commanded.
He took the challenge with a raised eyebrow and went down under the water again. Turning around in the water, Gemma tried to spot him, but it was too dense and dark to see. Eventually she felt him slide past her leg and she tried to grab for him, but he was too quick for her.
He surfaced close to the waterfall. “You can feel the force of the water under the surface,” he said before stepping into the falling water and disappearing. Gemma watched him, but he didn’t surface. Suddenly she felt utterly alone.
“James?” she called, but there was no response. She called again and again meeting no response. Swimming to the waterfall, she saw that it was shallow. He was right; she could feel the force of the water swirling around her legs. She was starting to worry that something had happened to him. “James?”
She tentatively moved to the waterfall where she’d seen him last and reach through it to find space on the other side. “James?” She felt a small sense of panic as she stepped through the water, its force beating her face as she moved through. She found him leaning against the rock wall on the other side, the water obscuring him up to his waist.
“My name is Jack, nobody calls me James.”
“Your name is James. That is the name you were born with.”
“Not exactly a name that inspires fear. They won’t write songs about James, will they? James is someone who gets imposed upon.”
Gemma wondered at his reasoning and the things that had necessitated him making himself so hard. “Is that such a bad thing? There are other ways of life to be had than being the terror of the sea.”
“Not for me.”
“Perhaps you need to take your own advice once in a while. Perhaps you need to give yourself the leeway to be just a man, at least for a short time.”
“Touché. But even James will never be gentle enough to be a respectable man.” He grinned wickedly, but with humor. He moved quickly, wrapping his arm around her waist and drawing her to him. “And he still steals.”
He maneuvered her through the water to the rock wall until she felt the hardness of the stone behind her and the firmness of his body against her front. Her breath caught and deepened. He stayed still for a while and she felt his breath on the skin of her cheek—not feeling fear exactly, perhaps more for the fact that she wasn’t as distressed by his actions as she should be. There was something in her that desperately wanted this—his warm body against her and the cool water around them.
His hand travelled along her shoulders and his eyes were following the movement before continuing up her neck and to her lips. He was going to kiss her—steal another kiss. Gemma’s perspective swayed with tension and it almost felt like the world shifted violently beneath her feet. She knew she should look away, but she couldn’t. He was leaning into a kiss and Gemma closed her eyes. The kiss was soft and delicious, and pleasure flooded her mind, while knowing in the back of it that she should be objecting, protesting. But she wasn’t protesting, she gave him free access and he took advantage. Just another memory she wanted, she told herself.
His warm hand held the back of her neck and his thumb stroked her sensitive skin down its side. His other arm still held her tightly to him. She could feel the entirety of his body and there was nothing between them other than the thin cloth of her nightgown. Slight touches between their bodies sent thrills stealing through her body.
His lips left hers, traveling down the side of her neck making her entire world swoon. The sensations were so powerful and wicked, they completely enthralled her. Kissing his shoulders, she tasted his smooth, warm skin. She wanted more, desperately. The kissing wasn’t enough, she wanted more. Her belly ached for him as her legs came around him without conscious effort. She understood what it was to want a man. She’d never felt like this before, hadn’t even known it was possible. The need was so strong and compelling. She wanted the hardness she felt against her belly, enough to not be scared of the things she knew would happen.
His hands came around her thighs lifting her up. He was kissing her again and Gemma felt herself open herself to him completely. She couldn’t stop this; it was like she wouldn’t survive if she tried. All she could perceive was him—the taste of him, the feel of his body, his lips—and she needed more, she needed everything.
She registered a vague sound and he stopped—he froze. Wishing desperately for him to continue, she wanted his lips back, but he pulled back slightly.
“For the love of God,” he groaned and sank his head down on her shoulder. “We have to go.”
“What?” Gemma said, not quite comprehending.
“That was the cannon, we have to go. Now.”
“Cannon?” Gemma said trying to get hold of her thoughts.
“Another ship is approaching. We have to get back, quickly.” He was gone, disappeared out of their little waterfall hiding place. Gemma licked her lips trying to contend with the stark shift in events. She did register that there was some kind of danger so she followed him through the waterfall and into the bright world outside. He was swimming to the shore as quickly as he could and she followed suit.
He had his breeches on by the time she got there and her dress over his arm as he came and took her by the hand before forcing her to run through the jungle. “Hurry.”
Doing her best, she tried to keep up with his relentless pace. She had no time to orient herself, it all looked the same to her, but her breath tore at her chest as they kept running.
They suddenly came onto the beach and ran to the waiting boat. He lifted her up onto the boat in one smooth move, before jumping on himself.
“Everyone back?” he asked the man rowing them to the ship.
“Everything is on board.”
“Who is it?” James asked.
“We’re not sure yet, but could be Navy.”
Gemma sat with her dress clutched to her chest. Her nightgown had dried enough to not be completely see-through, but she still felt extremely self-conscious and ashamed of her own behavior. She snuck a peek at the man sitting next to her as he was scanning the horizon for the threat. He was still bare-chested as he shifted seats and started helping the man row. She’d almost given him her virtue and the thought robbed her of breath. Not just almost given, she would have insisted if he hadn’t run off. She couldn’t believe her own behavior, it went against everything she was. She felt mortified she could have acted in such a way.
Chapter 14
There was a rush of activity as they returned to the ship. Men were running, hoisting the sails and preparing to sail.
“Will you have to engage with them?” Gemma asked as she followed James up to the quarterdeck.
“Only if the winds are unfavorable.”
Gemma stood back and just watched the activity before her. She watched the man she’d been kissing only a short time ago, still unbelieving of her own actions. She’d shown no reserve of control. The thought of it sent a wave of nervous tension through her. She wasn’t even sure how they’d arrived at that point, one moment they were swimming and then they were kissing—not just kissing, it was more than kissing and she’d been wanton.
That can never happen again, she told herself. She was not the kind of girl that lost control of herself like that.
Seeing the other ship getting closer, she hoped James’ ship was picking up speed. The waves pushed the bow of the ship slightly as they cut through. They could clearly see the flag of the other ship now.
“It is a navy ship,” Gemma said, feeling a sense of panic.
“I know.”
“They will chase us.”
“We are faster.”
Gemma wasn’t sure if that was true—if it was, it would be marginal. And for now, the other ship had speed. Feeling gripping tension as she watched the ship draw closer, she returned her gaze to James who was concentrating on increasing the speed of their ship. This was the situation that had made him so angry with her.
She searched her own emotions and discovered that she didn’t want him caught exactly. She wanted herself released, and him not caught—just both going their own way. That would be the best outcome.
Shouting orders to the men, he seemed fairly calm about the situation, but she supposed this was their life—they chased and were chased in return. Gemma wasn’t sure she could handle living like this, not knowing what lay around the corner. She remembered the fear and panic she’d felt when he was chasing her down. She’d focused all that nervousness into the battle, but she’d hated every single minute of it—the fear and tension eating her alive.
Now they were being chased and they were running for their lives. Well, not her because she would be fine if they were subdued and boarded, but all these men would hang if they were caught. Or perhaps not, James would likely fight until he couldn’t. She couldn’t quite imagine her pirate being subdued and restrained, kept prisoner until it was his time to die. It seemed a harsh punishment.
She didn’t want to think about it, she was much better off not being involved with this whole thing. She should be back in London, reading a book or embroidering, discussing the merits of the bachelors around or the intricacies of the new fashion. She shouldn’t have to be here pondering if a man deserved to die.
The chase went on; the other ship did not give up. They would tack every now and then to find better lines and uses of the wind.
“Return to the cabin,” James ordered. “This is going to take a while.”
Feeling exhausted, Gemma didn’t argue. It had been a trying day on many levels and she’d found out things about herself that she’d been unaware of, but she’d grown too weary to think about them.
She entered the cabin and sat down in one of the chairs; her hunger and exhaustion asserted itself. She hadn’t really eaten that day, but she expected there would be no meal that night. The men were still working above; she could hear them running around, carrying out orders.
Defying a Pirate Page 8
