“Why did you chase me down?”
It wasn’t a question he was prepared for. He didn’t quite know the answer himself. He should have let her go, it would have been a good end to the endeavor, but he just wasn’t ready. “We tarry well together.” She looked cornered. “You cannot deny it.”
“That’s the point, that is why I have to go,” she said beseechingly.
He didn’t understand. “These things are to be enjoyed—and you do enjoy it. You feel the pleasure of my touch. You cannot deny it.”
“Don’t you think I want to stay?” she said imploringly. He stepped closer to her and she didn’t fight him. “You don’t think I want to stay in this cabin, cocooned away from the world, just the two of us. It would be so easy. You think I don’t want to fall in love?”
“Then let yourself.”
“Then what? You’re a pirate. How shall we live? I cannot fall in love with you, even you have to admit that it’s a bad idea. This is not where I belong.”
“You worry too much about things that don’t matter. These are the good things in life, the things we shouldn’t deny ourselves. If there is one thing I’ve learnt in my life, it’s not to take people at their word when they say where you belong. As far as I see, if you find someone that makes you feel, you are duty-bound to explore it.”
“Except you’re the wrong man. And as far as duty goes, my duty is exactly the opposite.”
“I am the man you want. Be honest. There is no such thing as wrong and right, only what we want.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Isn’t it? I think you will find that things are as they should be.” Grabbing her waist, he pulled her to him. The warmth of her body sent a tremor of pleasure through him. Her hands were on his upper arms, but she wasn’t fighting. He would overcome her resistance if he had to; he knew it wasn’t true—she wanted him; she was just frightened of her desire.
He pulled her into a kiss, letting it feed his need. Looking down at her when it broke, he saw the desire in her eyes and he knew he was right. To think he could have lost this. He kissed her again, suppressing the need to let his true ardor show—not a display she would likely tolerate at the moment no matter how desperately he wanted to. Instead he took the time undoing the buttons of her dress while he distracted her with soft, gentle kisses to which she put up no resistance.
The dress fell away and he walked her back to the wall, building his own excitement. He couldn’t bear anymore, he needed her. He couldn’t be bothered stripping her of the nightgown, the material now soft with use. Cupping her breast in his hand, he felt its softness through the thin material. The feel of it and the devastating kisses made him rock hard. Her hips were grinding to him, making it impossible for him to slow down. He needed to be sheathed in her. Her legs had ridden up around his waist and he noticed her little drawers had fallen away—she was ready for him. He wanted to play more, but he couldn’t get himself to slow down. He pulled the strap of his belt until it gave way, undoing the buttons until his painful erection was free. He was inside her glorious heat before he knew was fully conscious of what he was doing. The pleasure of it suffused his brain, lulled away every pain or worry.
He pulled back and thrust into her deeply. Her moans only drove him on. How could she possibly have denied herself this—denied him? It was cruel. She still didn’t understand how important this was; at the moment it felt like everything, the justification for everything. She didn’t know what she feared, they were just fears, but this...this was paradise on earth, the closest to heaven his condemned soul would ever get.
Feeling the unrelenting pressure to come build inside him, he thrust as deep into her body as he could—needing to leave his mark in her. She belonged to him. Her body pulsed around him as his release came with a strained cry, pulsing his essence into her.
Unable to hold her anymore—she was dead weight in his weak arms—he sank them to the ground and covered her with his body, still inside her. He felt himself grow soft inside her, but knew he would be hard again in only a few minutes; he already felt the tickle of desire as he lay encased in her.
He didn’t know what she was worried about, he would be the one driven to utter exhaustion by unrelenting need for her delicious body. At that moment, he wasn’t entirely convinced he could exist without being buried inside her. She was going to be the death of him, if he wasn’t careful.
Chapter 23
Gemma watched James as he manned the wheel. The winds were strong, pulling at her skirt as they sailed at good knots. It was never truly cold here, no matter how strong the breeze was. James looked like he belonged exactly where he was—this was his ship and he was the master of his domain. She, on the other hand, was living on the charity of her extended family until she managed to secure a place for herself. She had no idea where she belonged and she envied the certainty he felt even if his life was less than honorable in the eyes of most.
These people had a very different definition of honor. She understood more of his perspective now that she knew of his background and the rage he felt at his treatment as a child. He would not accept the circumstances that were imposed on him with its lack of dignity, freedom and prospects. She’d seen the scars of it on his back and no-one deserved to be treated such. She obviously couldn’t condone piracy, but she understood that it was an alternative to a life that would give him no opportunity and no happiness.
A frown crossed her brow as thoughts about their current situation crossed her mind. He didn’t want to let her go; he didn’t want to let go of the communion they’d had together when they were alone in his cabin—in his bed. She felt a rush of excitement ramble through her body at the mere thought of it. She had to acknowledge its draw on her and from the sounds of it, on him too. Its powerful call had them both in its grip.
He’d said that these were the good things and she had to concede that they were compelling and unbelievably sweet—but it wasn’t right. Although she didn’t know if she was speaking as a human being or as a member of her class. As part of her duty, she was to marry a gentleman with wealth and ideally a title. Those were the things that were important and issues like love or attraction were to be strictly discouraged. Even literacy was discouraged is some quarters to avoid fanciful ideas entering the heads of young girls. There was an underlying fear of love, she recognized, perhaps because it had such power.
James turned and smiled at her. She felt her heart quicken at his attention. She didn’t know if this was love, but she had to acknowledge her body’s strong reaction to him. She craved his touch and her stomach was a riot of unease when he took a step toward her, like he was doing just now.
Moving one of her curls caught by the wind, he guided it behind her ear. Sighing at the gentle action, she acknowledged that she felt no fear around him. She hadn’t felt true fear when he’d chased her down either, even when he’d had his hand at her throat. For all his menacing, she knew in her heart that he wouldn’t hurt her. What she feared was his gentleness and her own longing for it.
“We are heading to Belize,” he said.
Gemma hadn’t realized they were going anywhere in particular and the thought of there being a destination took her by surprise.
“Why are we going to Belize?”
“You will see. It’s where we go to shift our worries. A place only we know—a little paradise hidden from the world and where nothing matters but what we want and what we feel.”
Gemma couldn’t help but be tempted by the idea—hidden away from the world. The idea of stepping out of the world and just living in paradise for a while was compelling; she wouldn’t have to think about what she should do. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help feeling that as long as he made the decisions, she was completely exonerated from having to think about how inappropriate it all was—particularly how beautiful she thought him and how she wanted to be near him.
She wanted to ask questions—should ask about how long he would keep her there and how he wou
ld get her back, but she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know the answer. Part of her didn’t want to think about the future or of responsibility.
Belize was a continuous stretch of lush greenery with white sand beaches. Thick jungle ran the length of the coastline and clear green water lapped gently at the beach. There was nothing along this stretch of coastline that she could see and it surprised her when they sailed into a gently curving bay. It was only on close inspection that she saw structures at the edge of the sand that were only really visible if one knew they were there.
“What is this place?” she asked.
“This is where we go when no-one’s looking.”
“It thought you lived on this ship.”
“Not always.”
Gemma noticed people appearing on the beach—women and even children.
“These are your families.” She was shocked to realize that there were people waiting for them, dependents that they joined when they were not out terrorizing the seas.
“Yes, some of the men have families.”
“I didn’t realize...” she started. She truly hadn’t imagined that they would have families. She felt a spear of worry that James would have a family waiting for him to come onshore, but dismissed it. Surely he would not bring her here if he had a family waiting.
Gemma and James waited for some of the other men to row to shore and Gemma watched families swarm around the point where the boat would arrive. There was clear excitement at the reunion.
“How often do you come here?”
“Every month or so.”
“And I take it that none of the women there are waiting for you.”
He smiled. “No.”
“I hadn’t realized that there would be families.” She couldn’t even think how these families came to be; although thinking back on Rosie and Bertie—they had found each other. “So the families live here and you come to visit.”
“It is not ideal. Piracy isn’t a lifestyle that encourages family life. This place happened by accident really and once established, more of the men started bringing their women here. Before, many of these men went years without seeing their families—some by choice, but most by necessity.”
The boat came back and it was their turn to head to shore. “Come, let me show you where I live.”
The hot sand was uncomfortable to stand or walk on as the sun pelted down. She could see a row of houses more clearly now. Simple structures that blended in well with the jungle behind them. All of them were off the ground on stilts, made of material harvested from the jungle.
“It is humble, but it’s our home.” James walked along the beach and Gemma followed. The others dispersed into the various cottages.
The structure was actually better built than Gemma had initially thought. She followed James up the steps to one of them, leading to a veranda of sorts that ran along the front. He opened the doors into the cottage and there was a small, but bright space inside. The outside of the structure had materials from the jungle such as coconut husks, bamboo and some kind of thatched roof, but the inside was very different. Thick wooden planks served as the floor and wooden beams crossed the roofline. The inside showed the solid construction of these buildings
“This is ship material,” she said with astonishment.
“We do, through the course of things have an abundance of ship material. Most of Europe’s forests have gone into their ships and we’ve taken more than a few out of commission. They serve a second purpose here.”
“And the British have no idea about this place?”
“No. It’s a place we keep secret. Can’t have the Navy come here and hold our families to ransom.”
Gemma briefly wondered at him taking her here when it was a place so secret. She didn’t know if it was an indication of trust or of his plans for her. She dismissed the thoughts; she didn’t want to think about it, particularly not the latter part. If he had plans of not returning her to her family, particularly something sinister, she didn’t want to know.
She couldn’t see him being outright sinister, he could be rough and gruff, inspiring fear, but she’d never truly seen him be sinister. Having always been quite straightforward in what his intentions and demands were, she couldn’t see him being despicable enough to seriously harm her. He’d promised her that no harm would come to her and she did believe him. But he’d also brought her here because he wanted her to be here, in the place where they took their women. The thought made her stomach contract.
He’d said everyone in Current Cove accepted her as his wife—a very confronting and challenging notion. She couldn’t think of it more, she had to dismiss it from her thoughts and she forced them out by focusing on the immediate.
He walked into the room filled with quality furniture and draping. There certainly were treasures here. There was a large wooden bed in the middle of the room facing the doors opening out to sea. She felt heat rise in her body looking at the bed. They would sleep there, do more than sleep and she couldn’t fool herself by saying she was adverse to the idea.
“There is a fresh-water stream that runs along the back here,” he said indicating to a smaller door in the back. “It’s why we chose this place.”
He turned to look at her, watching for her judgement of the place. He cared about her opinion, she realized, like he was presenting his home to her.
“What are your intentions?” she finally said, not being able to bear the uncertainty any more.
He shrugged. “That perhaps we stay here for a while, and not do anything in particular.”
There was a definite indication of a time limitation to this. She nodded as she absorbed what he was proposing. His intention was not of a more permanent nature and Gemma wasn’t sure if she was relieved or not. Obviously, she couldn’t be the wife to a pirate, so the indication of a time limit was good.
Exhaling the breath she’d held, she looked around.
“We could just be here awhile and enjoy nothing but complete freedom and our hearts’ desire. The sea provides its bounty, the jungle provides our fruit. There is nothing else needed here but to enjoy the place.”
“And each other?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She felt the heat rise in her body as his gaze moved further down. This is what he wanted, for them to be together to explore the intimacy they’d uncovered. It was the thing she’d run from, the stretch of close intimacy in front of them as he kept her with him—days with nothing to do but to enjoy each other and the driving need they felt.
Gemma sighed, knowing in her gut that she would fall in love with him if she wasn’t already. She’d been terrified of the prospect, but not entirely sure why. It may not be such a bad thing, she contended; she would remember all her days that she’d loved someone, no matter how her life turned out or who she ended up being with—if anyone at all. Perhaps that would end up being a treasure more precious than any object—a secret she would always keep in her heart.
Chapter 24
In the morning, gentle sound of waves lapping on the shore came in through the open doors. She felt a bit disorientated at first, before realizing where she was. The water’s gentle rhythm soothing all worries away. It was a lovely sound, soft and fresh. The sun shone into the doors facing the ocean, but it was still cool inside their cottage. They’d slept with the doors open all night; there was apparently no need to worry about security here where everyone seemingly knew and respected one another.
Shifting herself a little closer to James, she kissed him softly on the shoulder, his skin warm and smooth under her lips. She felt a rush of pleasure just at the small kiss. He was still sleeping, looking beautiful and peaceful. She liked the way he was here; it was as if his burdens were lighter.
Before long, she could hear children playing and laughing, running around as children did from the moment they emerged from their beds. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like growing up here, where there was no tangible poverty, complete safety and no hunger�
�hidden from the world in this little serene enclave.
She wanted to see them playing, so she got up and dressed. Finding a bench on the veranda outside, she sat down and watched the children playing at the edge of the water. They were brown-skinned with almost white hair, bleached by hours playing in the sun.
“We fish in the morning,” she heard James’ sleep-coarsened voice at the door. He came and placed his hand on her shoulders and she moved over to give him room on the bench. He wore a pair of cream colored breeches and nothing else as he sat down and crossed his bare feet.
“So you are a fisherman as well?”
“I dive.” She remembered the young boys from the ship diving for lobsters and urchins while he’d taken her for a swim. “Fishing takes too much patience and that’s not one of my virtues.”
He kissed her on the temple and then took off running down the stairs toward the beach where other men were gathering. The children naturally gravitated to them and followed as some brought out nets from one of the other cottages. James joined some of the young men and started wading into the ocean. When water reached up to his hips, he dove in and disappeared, appearing briefly again further out in the bay for another breath before merging indistinguishable from the other divers.
As the day wore on, Gemma noticed that the beach was the communal space where everyone met and spent time. It was the road that tied the little community together, the market place, the tavern and the kitchen, all in one. They dragged in their catch from the nets and its bounty was distributed on the beach and a large communal fire served everyone.
They’d been nice enough to her, but she could tell that the women, as well as the men were both wary and curious about her. They didn’t directly interact with her, and although she didn’t sense any hostility, she could feel them watching her. She didn’t really know how to engage with them, or even if she was expected to.
Defying a Pirate Page 14
