by Sara York
“So, I’ve washed my plate, and it looks like you’re done eating. How about that shower?” Tanner asked.
His smile stretched wide. “Oh yeah, that would be awesome.”
Tanner reached for his hand and led him into the bathroom off the main bedroom downstairs. There was a floor heater and a towel warmer. James and Brody hadn’t spared any expense. Though the cabin was remote, he would love a place like this.
He pulled off his clothes and Tanner dropped his shirt and shucked his pants. They stank though they’d tried to clean with water and washrags at the other cabin. Their efforts hadn’t been enough. He wanted to get under a warm spray with soap and shampoo. Before he could get into the shower, Tanner pressed him up against the wall and held him there.
Tanner ran his nose over Mike’s neck and lower before he licked up the column of his neck.
“I can’t wait to run my hands over your wet body. I want to feel you up against me, soap spread between us as I rub my hands all over you.”
“You like to talk during sex, don’t you?” Mike asked.
“No clue, but I guess so. I like talking to you.”
“I can think of one way to shut you up,” Mike said.
Tanner laughed and shook his head. “I’ll suck you later, don’t worry. I want to feel you on my tongue, your cock in my mouth. Just thinking about it is making me hard.”
“Good lord, Tanner. You’re going to freaking kill me.”
Tanner reached for him, pulling him close. “Get in and let me get you clean then make you dirty.”
“Fuck.”
Mike stepped into the shower and Tanner followed. Their kiss was electric. He submitted to Tanner’s moves and his touches. He may have been older, but Tanner was in control. He leaned his head back and let Tanner love on him as he washed and cleaned every inch.
The slick soap felt amazing, but Tanner’s hand on his balls, his fingers sliding between his cheeks, felt better. He didn’t want to mess up their relationship. If only they could stay out here where reality didn’t intrude. But the guys on the ranch were all in relationships, none of them would care. At least he didn’t think they would.
Chapter Fifteen
Zander met Davis and Ryan outside the ICU. They looked like shit. It was like the last time this had happened. They looked terrible. But after spending the night at a hospital, anyone would look bad.
“Hey, how is he?”
“I don’t know. He looks small,” Davis said.
Zander’s lips twisted and he drew in a slow breath, trying to stay positive. He didn’t want to lose Duff. “He’s a fighter.”
“I think he may have used up all of his fight. He’s been weak for a while and then he hit his head. The head injury is the worst,” Davis said.
Ryan put his arm around Davis and pulled him close. He was happy they were no longer fighting. Their argument had been bad. Davis was stressed and needed a break, but he shouldn’t have yelled at Ryan. Maybe they were a stronger couple than he realized. He and Marsh were tight, and they’d argued. Heck, he’d been an asshole when he came back.
“Go shower. Get some rest. You’re in room five twenty-four. You have fresh clothes, and I dropped off some snacks. Order room service before you come back.”
Davis’ lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. Ryan gave him a quick hug and kissed his cheek. Their team of guys was the best. They knew each other well enough they didn’t always need words.
He headed into the ICU, washing his hands twice before entering Duff’s room. The man was awake, but not with it. He moved where Duff could see him. It took a few minutes then Duff lifted his hand and motioned him over.
“Hey, Duff. You look better than you did the last time I saw you.”
Duff tried to speak but all that came out was a gurgle. He tried again and Zander lowered even more.
“Not—not going to make it.” Duff’s voice was weak.
Zander’s stomach turned. He’d felt like dying way when he’d been held captive. It was so long ago and yet it seemed like yesterday at times. He still dealt with the issues from his time in captivity and when he was tortured. Some days he woke up in a cold sweat thinking he was back there. It freaked him out some mornings, but Marshal was there for him, keeping him sane.
“The doctors here are awesome,” Zander said.
“Too…weak.”
Zander didn’t want to upset Duff any more than he already was. Sleep was the best medicine for Duff now. Maybe he would recover, maybe he wouldn’t, but having hope was key.
“Duff, I love you like a father. You’re a good man. Don’t give up hope. You can beat this.”
Duff shook his head and reached for Zander’s hand. He was worried Duff was getting too upset when his heart rate increased.
“Duff, everything will be fine.”
“No…Listen.”
Zander moved in close again, waiting to hear what Duff had to say. He didn’t like this. Didn’t like his friend giving up. He had to help Duff see it was worth fighting to live.
“Too much. Can’t fight.” Duff closed his eyes and he thought maybe he’d fallen asleep then Duff opened his eyes. “You understand.”
Zander shook his head. “Duff, I fought through the worst of the worst. I survived one day at a time and you can too.”
“Don’t want to.”
The words were painful to hear, but Duff was right about one thing, he understood. He understood how Duff felt. He understood how draining it was to have to keep surviving when all you wanted to do was give up. Despair and depression were fast friends who fought hard to knock back survivors, taking aim and destroying them.
“Don’t give up yet, Duff. There is so much more to live for. You’ve done so much for our country, it’s time you enjoyed a bit of peace.”
Duff closed his eyes and slept for a while. When he woke, he motioned Zander close again. “I loved this life. I did good by my country. There’s nothing more…nothing I’ve ever wanted.”
Duff closed his eyes again. The only comfort was the beeping of the heart monitor. He watched, waiting for Duff to wake up, but the minutes ticked by and he still slept.
Zander sat on the couch and watched. His eyes eventually closed and when he woke up a female nurse was in the room.
“Hello.” He stood and moved closer to the bed.
“Hi, how are you doing?” the nurse asked.
“I’m good. So how does he look?”
She shrugged. “He’s exhausted. He’s been through a lot.”
“Duff is strong.”
“No doubt. If he wasn’t strong, he wouldn’t have lasted this long.”
“Do you think he will recover?” Zander knew asking was dangerous.
She gave him a tight smile and shrugged again. “He needs a reason to fight. We can only do so much. His healing is about him and what he wants. There are some things which can’t be overcome though. It all depends on what happens in the next few hours.”
Zander said nothing as he watched her change tubes and medicines. She checked his head wound and his ports before covering him with the sheet. She shot Zander a smile before cleaning her hands and leaving the room.
He wanted to tell Duff to fight, but it wasn’t up to him. When he’d been in hell, he’d had to decide to fight on his own. Duff could do it, but he’d have to make the decision.
A few hours later Duff woke again and Zander moved to stand at the bed. He took Duff’s hand and held it, praying his friend could find it inside himself to survive.
“Davis?” Duff whispered.
“He’ll be back soon. Do you want me to call him?”
“No.” It took Duff a long time to get through his sentence. “When I’m gone, you have to watch after him and Ryan. They need each other but they’re hardheaded. They came together too fast.”
“Duff, you can survive.”
“I don’t want to.”
Desperation filled him. He couldn’t make Duff survive any longer. “Why?”
Duff closed his eyes and his face scrunched up. His heart started going fast again and he was about to tell Duff he would have to calm down when his heart slowed.
“Duff, please don’t stop fighting. I need you around.” Zander’s emotions clogged his throat. When he’d been held captive, he’d wanted to come back to Marsh. Thoughts of his man had been the one thing that kept him strong. He’d struggled to survive, pushing away pain and fear, focusing on Marsh. When Tex had stepped into the room, he’d known he would make it home.
Duff had closed his eyes, shutting him out. He had to find a way to get Duff to want to live. If he told Davis, he was sure the man would freak out. Later, once Davis and Ryan relieved him, he would call the ranch and talk to Grant and Marsh, they would know what to do.
Chapter Sixteen
Mike stared up at the ceiling and listened to Tanner breathe. The guy had been asleep for about thirty minutes, maybe longer. It wasn’t happening for Mike. Maybe it was the stress or something else, but he wasn’t tired.
He got up and headed into the den. He heated up some water and made tea. He didn’t want coffee because he knew he would be up all night. He’d not brought a computer with him, but he pulled out the small iPad he’d packed and connected to Wi-Fi. He checked his email and flipped through a few news sites before he was ready to shut down. He pulled up his email again and saw a note anonymous email address. The subject line caught his eye. It said Knock, knock, who’s at my door? Mike laughed and opened the email, seeing one word: WHY.
He wrote back a quick reply. Worried. Hadn’t heard anything in months. No reply to emails sent. He hit send before heading to the kitchen to clean his cup and dry it before putting it away. When he moved back to his iPad he found a reply.
Keep it clean. Love you, man. We’ll come for a visit. Sorry about the communication. We’ve been out of touch on a sand bar.
He wrote back. I’ll inform the rest of the crew. Love your place. It’s perfect.
It took a few minutes for a reply to be sent back. It’s cold. That’s why we’re here. We love it, but we decided to change plans. We’ll be better at keeping you informed. BTW, eat whatever you want. Once this snow melts, we’ll be home.
Mike sent his last reply. I’ll see you when you come for a visit. Stay safe. I’m going to bed now. Love you both.
He headed to bed, sliding close to Tanner. Being with this man scared him. How in the world was he supposed to do this? He’d spent so long determined to not be relationship material. What if he couldn’t change?
Tanner woke before Mike and watched him sleep. He was the luckiest man in the world. When Mike stretched, Tanner moved beneath the blankets and started licking and nipping his way down Mike’s torso to his hips then over to his cock.
“Awe man, fuck, that feels good,” Mike growled as he arched up.
Tanner sucked down on Mike’s cock and then pulled off before licking around the tip. Mike’s fingers wove through his hair and pushed him down. Mike started pumping his hips, fucking Tanner’s mouth. He didn’t fight it, instead he opened his mouth wider and took Mike’s cock. Mike slowed then grabbed Tanner’s shoulders and pulled him up before pushing him to the mattress.
Mike slid down his body to his cock and licked up the length before kissing the tip. “I don’t think I could take it if you fucked my mouth so don’t.”
Tanner cocked a brow. “Are you sure?”
“Gag reflex. It sucks, well, that was a terrible word to use, but I just—”
“Hey, don’t worry. I get it. Though I’ve never actually sucked anyone before you, I understand. I won’t go hard.”
Mike met his gaze. “I want you to enjoy it too.”
“Don’t worry, there is no doubt I will enjoy it. Trust me, you just teasing the tip with your lips, fuck, it feels so good.”
Tanner lay back and groaned as Mike licked him again. He submitted to Mike’s explorations, resisting the urge to force him to just take it. His skin tingled and his balls pulled up. He’d dreamt about having Mike lick him, and this was better than he could have imagined.
His breath hitched when Mike sucked him down. He pumped up his hips and had to still as Mike pulled off a little.
Tanner lifted his head, watching the action, taking in how Mike looked as he sucked and licked. His emotions were thick, and he wasn’t sure he would ever recover. Being touched and licked by a real live man was better than he’d imagined. Since it was Mike, a man he had feelings for, this was even better.
He was getting close to his orgasm. When Mike sat up and wiped his mouth, his eyes bright with lust, Tanner pushed him to the bed then lined up and wrapped one of his hands around their cocks. He’d watched guys do this in so many porn vids so many times. That he actually got to do this made him so freaking hot. Power filled him as he stroked his and Mike’s cock.
He watched both of their heads as his hand ran up their dicks. It was a beautiful sight. His body shook and he glanced up, staring into Mike’s eyes. Time stopped. Everything melted away. It was only him and Mike, nothing else mattered. They were an island, floating together in happiness.
Mike pumped up, fucking Tanner’s hand. He stilled his motions, reveling in the slide of Mike’s cock against his. He wanted Mike in his ass, fucking him, owning him. He wanted to belong to this man more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. A thrill of excitement raced from his cock around his body as his dick grew bigger.
He gasped for air, trying to prolong the feeling. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t make it last. Hot ropes of cum shot out of his dick, landing on Mike. It looked amazing and he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the sight of his cock with Mike’s. Cum had splashed on Mike’s skin and was running down his body. It was better than any porn, any photo, anything he’d ever seen. He really needed this man in his life.
Controlling himself with Mike seemed almost impossible. Mike grabbed his arms and squeezed. He looked up and watched Mike’s face as he came.
He stared at Mike, realizing everything was perfect. How had he gotten so lucky?
He lowered and slid his lips over Mike’s, wishing this was their reality. That they could stay here like this forever, never having anything intrude. But fantasy life wasn’t for him, and he liked being a member of the Wild Bluff team. If he could have Mike in his bed, he would be satisfied.
“Is this good for you?” he asked, needing the affirmation.
“So fucking good.”
Tanner sat up and pulled Mike up too, watching the cum roll down his belly to his pubic hair. He had done that. Mike lifted Tanner’s chin and stared into his eyes. He saw the same wonder, the excitement he felt reflected back at him.
“I need you,” Mike whispered. “Not just in bed, but I need you.”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”
“We have to complete this mission, but after we do, we need to spend some time together.”
“Sure.” Tanner smiled to himself. He was with a guy, really with one. Not just watching porn, or jacking off to some fantasy, but he had a lover.
The sun would be up soon and they needed to get walking. They headed to the bathroom to clean up. Once their teeth were brushed, he pushed Mike up against the wall and delivered a mind-numbing kiss. His body heated though they’d just finished. When he pulled away, Mike looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Hell, man, you know how to kiss.”
“So do you,” Tanner said.
“I’m passable. But my God, Tanner, you’re amazing with your tongue. You sure seem experienced.”
He chuckled and then popped Mike on the ass. “Maybe I’m just a good visual learner. We should probably start packing and cleaning up.”
“Yeah. I want to get back to the car early.” Mike pushed away the curtains and looked out the window then turned to face him. “It’s melting. I’m not sure if melting snow is good or bad, but I think we’ll treat it as good.”
“Did your feet stay dry yesterday?”
“Sure
did.”
Tanner was happy Mike hadn’t suffered wet feet again. He stepped into the shower then turned to look at Mike. “Come on in.” Tanner grabbed the soap as Mike stepped in. They showered quickly, unlike last night when they’d gotten busy getting lost in each curve or dip the soap slid over. Once they were clean, he dressed then headed into the kitchen. He saw Mike’s iPad on the table and turned to look at him.
“Did you work last night?”
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep. James sent me an email. Said he saw us on the porch.”
“Oh…well, that’s interesting.”
“Yeah. They’re doing good. Said they were on an island in warm weather. Didn’t say exactly where, but I’m guessing they’re in the Bahamas because he said he was on a sandbar.”
Tanner thought about it as he scratched his neck. “It could easily be the Bahamas. It’s warm there. Nice sand and sun.”
“Sure is. Maybe we can head there on a vacation once we get a break.”
His head whipped up. “You all do that? Take vacations and stuff.”
“Sure do. We haven’t in a while, but it’s more due to Duff’s illnesses. I’d like to take a couple of months and hang out with you on some faraway location, sipping tequila while we explore each other’s bodies.”
“That would be nice.”
Tanner hadn’t really thought about vacations and what the guys did. He guessed the money they got from running operations seemed unrealistic to him. Mike had received over a million from his New York operation. He’d read the information about payment, but hadn’t really cared at the time. For him, it was the ability to actually make a difference in this world.
Mike checked his email while they ate breakfast. They did a final sweep through the house, making sure they hadn’t left any lights on or water running. He wouldn’t want anything bad to happen once they left. When the house was clean, he pulled Mike close and brushed their lips together. Then Mike froze for a second and Tanner upped his game, licking across the slit in Mike’s mouth. Mike opened and tilted his head back as he surrendered to Tanner. Power filled him and he pulled Mike closer. He rocked his hips, wishing they were both naked. Mike wrapped his arm around Tanner’s back and held him close. Being in this far away winter wonderland where nothing intruded was nice, but reality called.
