“Yes. And I’m pretty sure you called me an idiot.”
Her face burned. “Sorry.”
“No, you were right. I was pushing you away, but not because I didn’t love you. Because I was sure you deserved someone better than me. I’m done with that now. No one else is getting you except me.”
The possessiveness in his voice gave her a giddy rush. She laid her head on his chest, basking in the reassuringly steady beat of his heart. “Maybe you’re not always an idiot.”
“That’s a relief.”
After a long moment, she propped her chin on his chest and fixed him with a stern glare. “And I do think you’d make a wonderful father.”
He lifted a lock of her hair, letting it run through his fingers. “You know I had a rough time growing up, so I’ll probably spoil our kids rotten. You’ll have to keep me in line as much as them. But you can do it.”
The confidence in his voice produced a flutter deep in her heart. “I keep my brothers in line.”
“I know you do. You do it so well, they don’t even realize.”
She had to smile at his perceptiveness. Mulligan really didn’t miss a thing. The fact that he saw everything and still loved her, still wanted her, blew her away.
“So I guess, as to kids, I’d put it this way. I don’t want to reproduce with anyone except you, my one and only Lizzie.”
Overcome, she burrowed her face in his chest, careful to avoid the bandages. The next words he spoke came across as a rumble through his broad torso.
“But if it doesn’t work out, and you want to try something else, or adopt, I’m open to that too. I was in foster care, so I have some opinions about it. But maybe I’d be good at that because I understand how it feels to have no-show parents.”
She jerked upright. “Oh, Mulligan, you’re so right. You’d be amazing that way. You know, when I first found out that I might have trouble getting pregnant, I cried for two days. Then I went to the Children’s Wing at the hospital and spent the day with those kids, and when I got home I was calm and happy, and I didn’t understand why. It took me some time before I realized that part of me knew I could love someone else’s children too. Mulligan! We could do that. We could help kids in trouble, or kids with illnesses.”
“Sweetheart,” he said, a smile playing across his mouth, “you already do. You’ve been working with the kids at the hospital for years, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but . . .” Suddenly she stopped, a sort of delayed recognition hitting her. When she’d told him about the cancer, he hadn’t looked even a little bit surprised or shocked.
“Mulligan, did you know already? About me having leukemia?”
A funny expression crossed his rugged face. “I guessed. Not the details, but the gist of it. I didn’t know it was leukemia.”
“When? How? I never said anything, and no one in my family talks about it anymore. The firehouse doesn’t know. Did Fred tell you? Oh my gosh, I’m going to kill him.”
“Fred never said a word.” He calmed her with a hand on each of her upper arms, stroking and soothing. “It wasn’t anything like that. No living being said a word.”
Strange phrasing. Unconvinced, she crossed her arms and stared mutinously at him. “I want to know who’s been sharing my secrets without my permission.”
“Would you believe me if I said you came to me in a dream and told me?”
Either he was mocking her, or . . . oh, dear. “Are you sure you’re all right?” She leaned forward to feel his forehead. A little warm, but not feverish.
He chuckled. “I’m all right. I swear. Tell Paramedic Breen to stand down. I had some time to think at Under the Mistletoe, that’s all. It’s crazy what the mind can do when it’s under stress. Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life?”
“That sappy old movie with James Stewart? My mother used to make us watch it. Gag.”
“Did you just say ‘gag’? I’m sorry. I don’t think we can get married after all. Not until you show some appreciation for the best Christmas movie of all time.”
She frowned at him, overcome with worry. “Maybe I’d better call the nurse.”
“No! I don’t want anyone else. Just you.” He cradled her hand against his cheek. “I won’t talk about Christmas movies anymore, I promise.”
Her paramedic side came to the fore as she gave him a quick, surreptitious assessment. Mulligan definitely wasn’t acting like himself, but that didn’t mean something was medically wrong. “Color’s good. Eyes don’t look cloudy. You seem fine for someone with a repaired spleen, but you’d better tell me the instant you feel tired or uncomfortable.”
He gave a two-fingered salute. “Yes, ma’am. Guaranteed.”
Satisfied, she sat back. “Now, back to this dream you mentioned. I told you I had cancer in the dream?”
“Sort of. But I think I mostly just put a few clues together. You know me, I pay attention to detail. Never met an obscure piece of information I didn’t find fascinating.”
“So that’s what you were thinking about while you were waiting to be rescued?”
“That and many, many other things. But at first I wasn’t waiting to be rescued. I thought I was gone.”
The blunt way he spoke those words made her heart clench. “You say that so easily. Like it makes no difference.”
“Yeah, you were definitely pissed about that.”
She did a double take at that phrasing. “Me? But I didn’t know you felt that way until just now. How would I have known?”
“Right. Of course you didn’t.” He hurried past that weird remark. “Basically, I had a chance to reassess my life. I realized I’ve done a few good things, and maybe I’m not the ruined hulk of a worthless soul I thought I was. And I decided that even though I may not deserve you, if you’re willing to give me the chance, I’ll work my ass off to deserve the honor of being your husband.”
“You’re trying to make me cry, aren’t you?”
“I’m trying to make you see that I’m completely serious about everything I said to you on the radio. I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have whatever kind of family comes our way. Have I covered everything?”
It should have been strange to see such tenderness on the face of a rough-edged fireman like Mulligan. But Lizzie didn’t find it odd at all. In later years, she’d remember it as part of the best Christmas of her life.
Chapter Ten
A WEEK LATER, Mulligan stumped on his crutches into the firehouse training room and ducked to avoid the Santa hat dangling from the lintel, as if the big guy was sleeping off a hangover.
“Still with the Christmas decorations?” he demanded. The firefighters of the A shift were assembling for lineup. Lizzie, hovering behind him to lend support if he got tired, giggled.
“I think they left them up just for you,” she whispered.
Double D gestured to Ace. “Hey, rookie, bring the guy a cup of coffee.”
“I’m not a rookie anymore,” Ace protested. “Didn’t you hear? Porter Ranch, dude. Engineer.”
“So you’re saying you’re too good to get an injured fireman a cup of coffee?”
Ace snapped his mouth shut and bustled off to the kitchen. Double D gave a hoot of laughter, then subsided as Sabina shook her head in reproof. She plucked a Car & Truck magazine off the couch to clear a space for them.
“Come sit down, Mulligan. You don’t want to overdo it on your first day out of the hospital. How are you feeling?”
The rest of the crew gathered around to help him onto the couch. Fred brought a pillow to put behind his back, and Vader helped lower him into a comfortable position. Lizzie perched next to him. Mulligan knew she was using her eagle paramedic’s eye to watch for signs of fatigue. He didn’t feel tired. He felt wonderful. Achy and sore, but wonderful.
“If I’d known I’d get this kind of treatment, I would have fallen through a roof years ago.”
“Don’t say that,” Lizzie said sternly.
“Hey, it got me
a fiancée, didn’t it?” He lifted her hand and kissed it tenderly. He’d rather kiss her pretty lips, but Fred was watching a little too closely. “You’re all invited, by the way. Big wedding. The baseball diamond in Los Feliz Park.”
“Congratulations, man.” Ace handed him a mug of coffee, then slapped him on the back—a little too hard, so the dark brew sloshed onto his hand. He couldn’t blame the guy; if he’d lost Lizzie he’d be bitter too.
The other firefighters echoed the good wishes. Mulligan held tight to Lizzie’s hand. Nothing had ever felt so right, to be here with his girl and his boys.
Except something was missing. “Where’s Stan?” Stan usually trotted to greet him the instant he walked in; probably because he always brought a treat.
“Stan’s busy breaking in the new rookie,” said Vader.
“We have a new rookie?”
Vader explained. “Not the human kind, the—”
Lizzie jumped off the couch and clapped her hand over Vader’s mouth. She had to stand on tiptoe to do it. “You guys are going to ruin it!”
“Ruin what?” Mulligan was completely confused.
“No one say another word!” Lizzie glared at the crew. Silence fell, except for the mumble of the police scanner in the captain’s office, the hum of the refrigerator, and the gurgling of the coffeemaker. And another odd sound, a sort of mouse-like squealing.
“Mulligan, this is supposed to be your delayed Christmas. No mistletoe, no great-aunts . . .”
Fred snorted.
“But you’re with me now, and I love Christmas, especially the present-giving part.”
Oh hell. He hadn’t gotten Lizzie a present. He should have picked up something at the hospital gift shop or ordered something online. “You don’t have to. I’ve changed my mind about Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday now. But you really don’t have to give me a present.”
“Too late. I already did.” Lizzie’s merry little face lit up like a twinkle light. “And there’s a no-return policy.”
“Then just hold on to it until next Christmas. That will give me a chance to think of something good to give you.”
“Oh, you’ll be holding on to it until next year, all right. If you can.”
The crew exchanged a series of amused glances. Apparently everyone was in on the joke except him. But he didn’t mind; to see Lizzie so excited, he’d dance naked on the hose tower.
“Fine. Let’s do this thing.” That didn’t sound like the proper Christmas spirit, but then again, he hadn’t gotten a Christmas present since he was a kid. He’d forgotten the protocol. “What I meant to say is, thank you very much for your thoughtfulness. I would be delighted to receive your lovely gift.”
Fred shook his head sadly. “Lizzie, you broke Mulligan. He doesn’t even sound like himself.”
Mulligan shot him a finger.
“Never mind. He’s fine.” Fred grinned, while Lizzie jumped off the couch.
“Close your eyes, my love.” Since it was Lizzie doing the ordering, he obeyed.
“Vader, put down that Sharpie. No mustaches,” Lizzie called from halfway across the room.
Mulligan opened his eyes a slit to glare at Vader, who shrugged, all Mr. Innocent, though he kept his hands behind his back.
Sabina slid her arm through Vader’s. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep him in line. Come on, close your eyes. You’re going to love this.”
He closed his eyes again, sinking into darkness. A quick memory flash of Dream Lizzie in her sexy elf costume came to him. Yeah, he would always love Christmas, forevermore. He had a lot in common with Santa, come to think of it, except instead of sliding down a chimney he’d just crashed through the roof. He was grinning to himself over that thought when a warm tongue licked his hand.
“Stan!” He opened his eyes in a rush, expecting the white-and-black face and soulful brown eyes of the firehouse dog. Instead, a different set of puppy eyes met his. Floppy ears, a velvet-soft, golden-brown coat, big paws propped on Mulligan’s knee, a wriggly body vibrating with excitement.
“Who are you?” he asked, astonished, offering the puppy his hand to sniff. “And what have you done with Stan?”
“He wore Stan out,” explained Fred. “Stan’s taking a nap now. Someone left this little guy in a basket outside the front door. Rachel was going to take him to the refuge, but—”
“I claimed him,” said Lizzie, who looked a little nervous now. “For you.”
Mulligan, looking from Lizzie to the eager little pup, couldn’t find any words.
Lizzie, however, could. She launched into a babbling explanation. “He was left here during the fire at Under the Mistletoe. The guys found him when they got back here. It seemed like a sign. And I know you love dogs because I’ve seen how you spoil Stan, and there’s that picture on your phone, and then a few other clues too.”
He gaped at her, astonished.
“You’re not the only one who pays attention to details,” she said defensively. “I know it’s hard to train a puppy when you’re at the firehouse so much, but between the two of us I think we can handle it. And you said you’d be happy with any kind of family, and this is how I want to start ours. But if you don’t want him, Rachel is still willing to take him. I haven’t named him, of course, because that’s your job, if you decide you—”
“Lizzie, I love him. I love you. Of course we’re keeping him. Fred, you tell Rachel to back off. This puppy’s mine.” He scratched the puppy’s neck, sending him into a frenzy of wiggling delight.
“Oh, phew. I thought you’d want him. But then I got nervous, and . . .”
He snagged Lizzie’s arm, bringing her next to him on the couch, her legs curled under her. In her red plaid leggings and oversize ivory sweater, she wasn’t too different from naughty-elf Dream Lizzie. He gathered her close and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
“So you all knew about this?” he asked the grinning firefighters.
“Sure,” said Fred. “But you’re going to have to work it out with Stan. He’s going to miss the little guy.”
“I’ll bring him to the station a lot. Especially when he’s little like this. He won’t want to be away from me.”
Lizzie rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, indicating her agreement with that sentiment.
“If he pisses on the floor, you clean it up,” Vader ordered.
“Won’t we have a new probie for that?”
“Not a probie’s job,” said Ace. “I looked it up.” He shot a smoldering glance at Double D, who looked at the ceiling and whistled innocently.
“So what are you going to name him?” Sabina asked, crouching next to the puppy, which was now trying to scramble into Mulligan’s lap.
Mulligan didn’t have to think for a second. “Clarence.”
“Clarence?” they all echoed, with varying expressions of disbelief.
“Why Clarence? That’s a dumb-ass name for a dog,” Vader said.
“It means ‘clear.’ I like it, and he’s my dog and that’s his name,” Mulligan told them all firmly. He wasn’t going to budge on this, though he wouldn’t mind explaining it to Lizzie in private. Now that things were clear, he intended to keep them that way.
“So we have a Stan and a Clarence.” Double D shook his head mournfully. “What sort of firehouse are we running here?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out for some time.” Captain Brody strode into the room and clapped Mulligan on the shoulder. “Glad to see you back on your feet.”
“Thanks, Cap. It’s good to be back.”
“I hear we have another wedding to look forward to.”
“It’s not until June,” said Lizzie. “So everyone will have time to recover from Fred and Rachel’s.”
Brody narrowed his charcoal gray eyes in speculation. “I’ll have to do the math, but we might be out of bachelor firemen. With Ace moving on, who’s left?”
They all thought about that for a long moment. Then Vader brightened. “There’s always the B shift. You
never hear much about those guys.”
The tone sounded, and they all snapped to attention. “Structure fire for Task Force 1, Truck 6, and Battalion 8. Incident number six twenty-two, time of alarm nine twenty. Ten fifty-five Brighton Avenue.”
The firefighters raced to the apparatus bay, Captain Brody right behind them. Mulligan held tight to Clarence, who wanted to run after the crowd. As soon as they were gone, Mulligan turned to Lizzie and kissed her breathless, as he’d been dying to do since she’d given him Clarence.
When he’d brought her to a state of dazed and boneless relaxation, he released her. “Thank you,” he breathed. “Thank you for loving me, thank you for Clarence. You’re my miracle, you know that?”
Lizzie laughed softly. “Clarence, huh? Really not the name I expected, but I bet it’s perfect. Some day you have to tell me exactly what went on at Under the Mistletoe. It must have been quite an experience.”
“I can tell you now.” He nuzzled her warm neck. Clarence whined, wanting some attention as well. “But I can’t do it here. Let’s go home and get naked. It’s the kind of story you have to tell completely nude, between orgasms.”
“Did the doctor say it was okay?”
“Yep. He said as long as you’re on top, we’re fine. He especially recommended that you do that thing where you touch your nipples and tighten your—”
Lizzie gave him a little smack on the arm. “Stop that. Bad boy.”
“Very, verrrry bad. Now let’s go home and find out just how bad I can be. Help me up, my love.”
He swung out of the training room, Lizzie at his side, Clarence capering at their heels. With his heart so full he thought it might burst, Mulligan blew the Santa hat a kiss on the way out. Merry Christmas, big guy. Keep an eye on the crew, would you?
FOR A BRIEF moment, the training room stood empty. Then Stan trotted in from the captain’s office, sniffed the air, and scampered onto the couch. He curled into a blissful little ball, surrounded by his favorite smell—the scent of heroes. He wasn’t allowed on the couch, so he always waited until the firefighters were gone. Hey, a firehouse dog had to have a few secrets. What the crew didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.
It's a Wonderful Fireman: A Bachelor Firemen Novella (The Bachelor Firemen of San Gabriel) Page 12
