To get on the pill, I’d have to talk with Nana, but even the thought of discussing any of this with her filled me with horror.
“I wish you could see your face,” Kat said, shaking her head. “Okay, so since class with Professor Mad Dog is still in session, I’m going to tell you what my dad told me, and hopefully stop you from flinging yourself out of the car. Talk to him before you do anything. I mean it, Kat. I mean, Ali. And don’t start the talk just before making out, or in the middle of making out. Sit him down before anything’s happened—when nothing’s going to happen. Once a boy gets sex on the brain, he’ll say anything to get it. Kathryn, I mean Ali, are you listening to me? You have to find out where you stand with him, but I’m begging you, please decide you’re not ready.”
“Okay,” I said, horrified all over again. First I had to talk to Nana, and then Cole? I’d rather fight zombies! “So your dad told you all of that?” Brave man.
“I meant my mom, of course.” She gave another laugh, this one nervous. “Anyway, the perfect place for you to start your conversation with Cole is that officially dating thing. Are you or aren’t you? How do you feel about that? Will he be seeing other people? Then, of course, you lead into the bigger question. Will he cuddle you afterward? Believe me, that one is important. One time Frosty left me two seconds after we finished, just kind of pulling on his clothes as he jumped out my window, and I was like, are you freaking kidding me with this, but of course he couldn’t answer because he freaking wasn’t there!”
We reached the box before I had to respond, and placed our orders. What could I have said to something like that, anyway?
She went with an iced mocha and I went with a piping hot cinnamon cream latte.
“And here’s another thing,” she said, easing toward the window to pay.
I barely stifled my moan.
“I can tell you’re a little uncomfortable with the idea of talking to Cole about this. So think about it this way. If you can’t talk to him, you shouldn’t get naked in front of him. Just sayin’.”
Would I ever feel comfortable, though?
“That’ll be nine seventy-five,” the barista said.
After the money exchange, we had our drinks in hand. I hadn’t enjoyed one of these in forever. Not since my mom had decided she couldn’t live without a caffeine boost one morning. She’d made me order a decaf, saying I was too young to have the real thing. I’d complained then, but now, the memory made me smile. She’d only been looking out for me.
“This is way better than a frosty,” Kat said, crowing at her own joke.
I think my mom would have loved Kat. She certainly would have been amused by her.
We spent several hours at the mall, just walking around, talking about nothing and yet everything, trying on clothes, even buying a few. While her taste ran toward the frilly, mine had taken a turn toward, well, the butch. Not very sexy, I knew, but nowadays I cared more about stunning the world with my sword skills than my beauty.
On our way out, we ran into Poppy and Wren, who were on their way in. Wren lifted her nose in the air, and flicked her hair over her shoulder, pretending not to see us. Poppy gave us a depressed little wave.
Wren slapped her hand. “Don’t encourage them. They’ll only drag you down to their level.”
Anger flared inside me.
“What did I ever see in them?” Kat muttered.
She acted as though their dismissal was no big deal, but I sensed the truth. Sadness swirled in her eyes a split second before she, too, flicked her hair over her shoulder and marched on.
When we were situated in her car and on our way back to my house, I said, “I know you miss them, and if you want to become friends with them again, please don’t let me stop you. You and I can still hang out, we just won’t tell—”
“Don’t make me slap you out of your crazy.” She took a corner a little too sharply. “They did this to me once before, then Frosty and I broke up and they were suddenly calling me again. Yet Justin used to hang out with Cole and now Wren’s dating him. They’re hypocrites and judgmental, and as you probably guessed, I’m all about the love.”
“True story.”
Slowly she grinned. “Besides, life’s too short to pretend and play games like that. I want to spend my time hanging out with people who make me feel good about myself. People who make me happy.”
Profound words, and something I’d learned only after my family died. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Because yes, I just made you the luckiest girl in the world.”
Just before we reached our destination, the storm spilled over. Rain poured from the sky, slamming into the windshield. She parked at the curb, and I gathered my bags.
“Come in with me,” I said. “Stay.” I wasn’t ready to give her up. “If you don’t have anything else to do, that is.”
“I don’t. You’re sure you want more of me, though? My dad says I can be hard to take in large doses.”
“Don’t make me slap you.”
She laughed, and I couldn’t help but join in.
We were drenched the moment we stepped out of the car, and soaked to the bone by the time we sprinted past the door. But we were still laughing, so I considered the experience worthwhile.
“Ali,” Nana called from the kitchen.
A wave of nervousness hit me, and I realized I should have talked to her this morning. If she brought up the boxing thing, in front of Kat, I had no idea what I’d do.
We dripped our way to the kitchen, the scent of roasting carrots thickening the air the closer we got. Nana stood at the counter, chopping lettuce for a salad.
I relaxed when she offered us the sweetest of smiles. “Kathryn, darling, can you stay for dinner? We’re having pot roast. It’s one of Pops favorite dishes.”
“Is that okay?” Kat directed the question at me.
“Of course,” I replied, my tone telling her just how silly she was for asking.
She beamed. “Then, yes, I would love to stay for dinner.”
“Great.” Nana placed the lettuce in a bowl. “Everything will be ready in fifteen minutes. Why don’t you girls go upstairs and dry off. You look like something the cat dragged in.”
That sent us into fresh peals of laughter as we tromped off. In my room, we towel dried, decided that wasn’t going to work, and changed. I loaned her a T-shirt that bagged on her and a pair of sweats that had to be folded at the waist and the legs.
Out of habit, we checked our messages. She had one from Frosty, asking if she wanted to hang out later. See? I’d known he would recover. I had one from Cole, telling me he’d pick me up at eleven. I had to smile about that. Frosty asked. Cole informed. I was excited to see him, though. He—
Thump!
At the booming noise, I spun around. A very pale, shaky Kat looked as though she’d been trying to walk over to me but had fallen to her knees midway. I rushed to her side and helped her up.
“Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” She limped over to sit on the edge of my bed, rubbed her hands over her face. “A little dizzy spell, that’s all.”
A little dizzy spell that had appeared suddenly, without warning. I thought of the scars on her arms. I thought of the other times I’d seen her this pale and shaky. I thought of the many days of school she’d missed.
“Kat, something’s wrong with you and I want you to tell me what it is.” I plopped beside her and crossed my legs. “No more evasions. You can tell me anything and it will never go any further, I hope you know that.”
Sighing, she threw herself backward, bouncing up and down on the mattress. “Well…you know how I told you my mom was a doctor at the hospital and that she’d told me all about you and that’s why I was there?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I lied. I’m sorry,” she added before I could utter a word. “I just didn’t want to tell you the truth. I haven’t told anyone, not even Frosty.”
“Then what is it?” Confusion and co
ncern beat through me. “Why were you there?”
Her hands returned to her face, blocking her expression from my view. “I’m sick. My kidneys don’t exactly work right. I need dialysis, like, a lot. That’s the real reason I was up there. I overheard two of the nurses talking about you and decided to check you out.”
The concern took over and consumed me, making me shake. One word echoed in my mind. Sick. Sick. Sick. “Are you going to be okay?”
“My mom…she had defunct kidneys, too, and she died at a pretty early age. Like, just after I was born.”
“Kat.” I grabbed her hand and held on, never wanting to let her go.
Her chin went straight into the air. The overhead light glinted off the sheen of tears in eyes more green than brown. “I don’t want you to treat me any differently. I’m still just me.”
Yes, she was still one of the best people I knew. I wanted to save her, somehow, someway, as I hadn’t been able to save my family and Brent, because losing her would destroy me, and I knew it.
Every day the clock ticked—or not. The end could come in a heartbeat. A blink, a breath, a second. Gone, gone, gone.
Kat. Nana. Pops.
Cole.
I’d been keeping him at a distance, tiptoeing around him, I realized, thinking yes, I’d give him a chance, then no, I wouldn’t. Yes. No. Excited. Nervous. Always holding a little part of myself back.
Well, no longer. I was done letting fear rule my life. I’d had that thought before, but this time the words were alive inside me. This time, I wouldn’t back down.
“You said Frosty doesn’t know?” I asked quietly.
“No, he doesn’t.” Her gaze locked on mine, the gleam inside hard and harsh. “I want to keep it that way. Okay? I shouldn’t, but I still love him. If he finds out, he’ll either drop me or double his efforts to be with me for the time I have left. I don’t want him to drop me, but I don’t want him to only want me because I’m a limited time offer, either. I want him to fight for me just because he loves me.”
“He hasn’t noticed your fatigue? Your scars?”
“Well, of course he has. But the days I’m tired I tell him I’m on my period and that settles that. Girl issues scare him. As for the scars, I told him I was in a terrible fight in junior high and the little witch scratched like a sissy. He asks me for her name and address at least once a week. I think he hopes to watch a rematch.”
I wanted to laugh at that. I wanted to cry. “I won’t say a word, I promise.”
Bit by bit, the tension eased from her. “Good. And now, to purposefully change the subject, I finally finished the rumor tree. You’ll never believe who the culprit is.”
I’d stopped caring, and yet, curiosity got the better of me. “Who?”
“Justin’s sister, Jaclyn.”
“Of course,” I said, her name switching on a lightbulb inside my head. I was ashamed I hadn’t deduced the truth sooner. I hadn’t spoken to Justin since that night in the forest, when he and his crew had stolen my zombies, and Jaclyn had turned in the other direction every time she’d spotted me. “She hates me.”
“Hate is too mild a word. But it’s nothing personal, I don’t think. She hates everyone who’s involved with Cole. Even hated me while I was dating Frosty. Not that she ever said why.”
I knew why, but I couldn’t tell her.
“Are you going to say anything to her?” Kat asked.
“No,” I said with a sigh. “It’s over. Done.” I wasn’t going to risk getting in trouble over something like this, not when I had so much to lose. Plus, Cole would be all over Justin, and he had enough to deal with right now.
We all did.
16
The Good, the Bad and the Really Ugly
At ten fifty-nine that night, I spotted a flashing light outside my bedroom window. Cole’s signal. He was here.
The storm had left its mark, the sky an endless expanse of polished onyx, the ground dark and muddy. I’d been watching for him for the past five—cough sixty-seven cough—minutes, and had wondered how I’d be able to tag him. Well, now I knew.
Filled with a bubbling kind of guilt, I double-checked the Pillow-Ali I’d rigged on the bed, then tiptoed down the stairs and to the back door. Pops and Nana were a lot older than my mom and dad, and their hearing wasn’t nearly as keen. I was taking full advantage, and I knew it, but their new rules had left me no choice. I had to do this.
Hinges erupted into a chorus of noise as I eased the door open, and I cringed. I waited several seconds, heard nothing and locked up, then shoved the key into my pants pocket. The night was far colder than the day had been, and I was suddenly very grateful I’d worn a long-sleeved shirt, thick socks and boots.
“Hey, you—”
Our eyes met, and the rest of the world disappeared—
—he had me backed against a bedroom wall, his body supporting mine. My legs were wrapped around his waist. His hands were flattened beside my temples; mine were in his hair. He’d imprisoned me with his strength to kiss the breath right out of me.
“You okay, princess?”
Princess. He’d once again called me princess, as if I’d sprung straight from a fairy tale. I melted into him. “I’m good.”
“More?”
“Please.”
The kissing started up again, even hotter, wilder.
For the first time, no one interrupted us. The vision was allowed to play out until the very end, a whole lot of kissing and heavy breathing fading into darkness and quiet. In that darkness, I experienced a surge of different emotions. Excitement, longing, nervousness. We hadn’t had a vision in so long, I’d thought they’d stopped for good.
To me, this meant we had a future.
“Why now?” he asked, here in the present. The stockade fence loomed behind him, trees at his sides. There was no moonlight, no flashlight, but I could see his face clearly. Dark hair was brushed back and damp, violet eyes were luminous. “What’s changed?”
“Me, I think.” As I’d already realized, some part of me had been pushing him away, resisting him. And then today, after talking to Kat…well, I was unsure how much longer I had with her, and I was envious of the connection she had with Frosty. I wanted that kind of connection with Cole, and I realized I’d decided I could have it, if only I would open myself to the possibilities.
“Well, I approve. I want that.” His voice was a husky rasp, as rich and decadent as chocolate. “What we saw.”
“Me, too,” I admitted.
“Do you know me well enough now?”
I knew he was strong, determined, protective, and that he cared about his friends more than he cared about himself. He obeyed no rules but his own. In the Wild West days, he would have been an outlaw. I knew his sense of humor fit me, just as mine seemed to fit him.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I do. Not sex,” I added. “Not yet. But…”
“But more than what we have.”
“Yes,” I repeated.
“Good.” He took my hand, ushering me through the darkness and mud. I knew there were traps out here, but I couldn’t see them. Nor did I see any sign of the zombies. “One of the guys will stop by your house every hour to check things out.”
“Thank you.” Cole’s Jeep was once again parked at the curb. Only difference was, Bronx wasn’t poised at the wheel. Cole claimed the driver’s seat.
I buckled in and shifted to face him. “Everyone’s well?” I asked as we rambled down the road.
“Yeah. Recovering nicely.”
“Where was the nest?”
“A mausoleum in a cemetery.”
“And they were…what? Just sleeping in there?”
He nodded. “We opened the door, and they just stood there, staring at us. They didn’t even put up a fight when we attacked.”
“Maybe something was wrong with them.” Like…the essence of a poisoned spirit working through their systems?
“Maybe. We’ve never encountered anything like it.”
�
��So you guys were able to ash them without any problems?”
“Yep.”
And I bet they’d celebrated afterward. Throw me a pity party, because I wished I’d been there. I shifted to my other side and traced a fingertip over the dusty window, leaving a smear. “How did the boys find them?”
Cole accelerated, passing one car, then another. “They were doing patrols and followed the smell, which was more rank than usual.”
We lapsed into silence, leaving me alone with my thoughts—which quickly switched from zombies to Cole himself. I knew where he was taking me. His home. We’d go to his bedroom, and what? Just start making out? And, crap! Even though we weren’t having sex, I hadn’t initiated “the chat” with him. Things could spiral out of control, or I could change my mind.
“So…what do you slayers believe about heaven and hell?” I asked, keeping myself busy. “Do you go to church?”
“I can’t speak for the other guys, but yeah, I go to church. Me and my dad, every Sunday. You?”
“I do, too.”
We reached our destination, and he parked in his driveway. He got out, came to my side and helped me to my feet.
“Don’t be nervous,” he said. “We won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”
That was the problem! I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Now or never, I mused. “Are we official? I mean, are we together and only seeing each other?”
He paused on the porch to look at me, a strange expression on his face. “Maybe I did a terrible job communicating with you, but we have been together and only seeing each other for a while now. We just had a few things to iron out.”
Elation poured through me, potent enough to make me tremble. “Oh.”
There was a flash of fury in his eyes. “Have you been seeing someone else?”
“No!”
The fury drained, and yet, his new expression failed to comfort me. I’d thought Pops was determined about the boxing thing, but this…
“Okay, then,” I said. “I just had to make sure.”
Alice in Zombieland wrc-1 Page 31
