I’m pretty sure Faith ruined me. That slip of a girl, who barely reached my chin, ruined me. And the thought made me smile. Unfortunately, Destiny thought my smile was for her as I got out of my truck and walked over to her.
Giving me the slow once over, she put her blood red polished nails on my chest, lightly scratching. “Hi. You must be Joe.”
I took her hand and held onto it to keep her from rubbing my chest. God, it sucked being there. I just didn’t want to do this anymore, but that wasn’t her fault. “It’s nice to meet you, Destiny. Shall we?” I gestured over to the concession stands thinking we’d grab a beer or something before finding a spot on the aluminum bleachers.
“Nah. Let’s get out of here.”
Now I was even more confused as to why we were at the raceway. “I’m sorry?”
“Oh, come on, Joe.” Her hand was back on my chest as she walked close enough to whisper in my ear. “I’ve heard about you. I’m not interested in watching cars; I’m interested in your bedroom activities.” She licked my ear, which made me want to squirm away from her—another new feeling for me.
I gently pushed her away from me, which wasn’t as easy as it should have been since she didn’t want to be pushed away. “I’m sorry, Destiny. I think you have the wrong idea here. I’m only here to be your escort, although I will say I was a little surprised that you wanted to meet at the drag strip.”
“It’s the one place I don’t think my husband would look for me.”
Great. Another bored, rich wife. “Your husband. Okay, listen. I really am sorry, but I’m not going to have sex with you.” God, I couldn’t believe I was saying no. She was rubbing my chest again, and I wasn’t as ready to push her hand off me. Old habits and such, I guess. What can I say? I loved the touch of a woman, and I kept seeing Faith in my mind.
“We don’t have to actually have sex. Let me suck on that legendary cock I keep hearing about from my girlfriends who’ve had you. Please, Joe. You can do anything you want to me.”
I could tell she meant it. Any second now, I was going to put a stop to her roaming hands. Of course, my dick was hard, thinking about being sucked on and all. Maybe I could just have one last fling. You know, get it out of my system before I gave up all the women. Wait—no. What the fuck was I… ah, Christ. Her tongue was on my ear again, but this time it felt good, as it was accompanied by her hand reaching down into my pants.
I looked around, but no one was paying us any attention since we were still standing in the parking lot. I let her push me back against my truck and continue to stroke me. And then it happened. I closed my eyes as her lips found my neck, and all I saw was Faith.
Faith in her tight orange dress, the slit opening wide to bare her leg to my grateful eyes. Faith, trapped in the corner of the elevator as my hand caressed her bottom, feeling the silk of her thong. Faith as she moaned out her pleasure with my mouth on her pussy, tongue sliding in as deep as I could go. Fuck, I could feel it all. I could also feel my balls tightening up. Snapping back to reality, I jumped sideways, away from Destiny (and how’s that for irony, my Destiny) just in the nick of time, breathing deep, but no—I was wrong. It was too late. I could still hear Faith’s sexy moans in my mind. I could still remember the taste of her on my lips as I fucking came in my pants. Seriously. In. My. Pants. Shit! I’m the number one escort at Perfect Ten because I’m smooth. I’m high-class, sophisticated. I’m the crème de la crème. How the hell did something like that happen to me? God, I’m pathetic. My new mission in life was to become the fucking master of my own fucking dick.
The rest of the date was less than stellar. I’m not a hundred percent sure Destiny knew I came in my fucking pants or not. Jesus. I certainly wasn’t going to confirm it for her. I cleaned myself up in the bathroom the best I could. What a goddamn nightmare. So, we sat silently and watched some cars race down the track until she eventually left. One down, four more to go.
***
I decided to leave Faith alone on Sunday, too. Two days with no contact, and I didn’t like it. I hadn’t heard back from her about the invitation I sent, but I decided to give her another day. Maybe she needed a little space to think about it.
There were no dates scheduled for me, so I spent the day with Heidi. We went for a run on the beach just as the sun was coming up.
“Want to take a break, girl?” We’d already gone about three miles when I picked out a spot in the sand to plop down in. With my hand buried in Heidi’s soft, black and brown fur, I thought about how my life was changing.
I only had one full year of college under my belt. The only classes I’d taken were the required ones. You know, the thirteenth frigging year of English, Algebra, History—all of those types of classes. Last night, after my ‘date with Destiny,’ I downloaded the application to California State University. They had an architecture program that I could complete mostly online. Some of the actual architecture classes I’d need to go to the brick and mortar school for. And that was fine. I’m not sure I’m disciplined enough to do all of my work online. I was always a pretty good student, though.
The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. Maybe it was the beautiful streaks of yellows, oranges, reds, and pinks rising up out of the ocean—maybe it was even having my best friend sitting by my side, her head in my lap, but I felt happy. Truly happy with my decision to quit the escort business and go back to school. If I played my cards right, I could have it all. I could be twice the man my father was, and then maybe I could begin to forgive him.
My father was my rock growing up. Don’t get me wrong, my mom is great, but a boy looks up to his father in a different way. My father did everything right. I thought he was perfect.
He used to take me fishing off the pier before the crack of dawn. We’d sit there for hours, usually not catching a thing. But those hours were some of the best of my life. He’d ask me how school was going, how my friends were doing, and I’d ask him about the buildings he was working on at the firm. I mattered to him.
As good as he was to me, he was even better to my sister. He never let her feel like she couldn’t be part of the boy’s club. Her fishing pole was pink, because he thought girls should have pretty things. I, of course, thought that was ridiculous at the time, but looking back, I realize it was he who taught me to always open doors for ladies. He was the one who taught me to wait until the ladies got off the elevator before I did. Most of all, he taught me to always treat a lady with respect (I may have stretched the boundaries on that one.) He was a prince among men.
The day I found out he’d killed himself was the most horrific day of my life. It was also the day I let all of my love for him die. Even now, almost twelve years later, I find it hard to remember all of the good times. It’s like one bad deed undid all of the good ones, but in my defense, it was one hell of a bad deed.
On that fateful day, Tracey and I were in the kitchen raiding the refrigerator for a snack before bed when we heard Mom screaming at our Uncle Mike.
“No! No, Mike! Why? How?” She was used to Dad working late, but even she had started to worry when he wasn’t home by nine o’clock and didn’t answer his phone at the office.
“Come on, Lauren. Breathe. Slow, deep breaths. That’s it.”
By that time, Tracey and I had made our way into the foyer where Uncle Mike was leading my mother into the living room, sitting her down on the couch. Her face was empty. That’s the only way I can describe it. I looked at her and it was like she wasn’t even in her body. Her eyes were vacant. She stared at nothing without any expression to even hint at what was going on in her mind.
“Mom? Uncle Mike? What’s going on?” Tracey was beside me, already crying, not even knowing what she was crying for. I pulled her in close to me as we sat together on the other couch facing my mother.
“He’s dead. Your father’s dead.” Tracey grabbed onto me and cried all over my sweatshirt. She was just a ten year old kid. I think I could pinpoint that moment as the one that changed me. A
ll I wanted to do was make everything okay for my mother and my sister. Sure, Tracey got on my nerves. She was six years younger than I was, but I swore to myself that I’d do everything I could to take care of both of them, since my cowardly father decided he didn’t want to anymore.
What happened was Uncle Mike found my father in his office with a gun in his hand and a bullet in his head. The note he left basically said that he had a gambling problem, and he’d spent more money than he’d had, even stealing most of the money right out of Starling Architecture’s bank accounts.
Over the next several weeks, we learned that Dad had indeed had massive debts that we could never pay off. We lost the house, the cars, everything.
The firm was just able to stay afloat, and Uncle Mike tried to help us, but my mother flat out refused any financial assistance. She picked up her life as best as she could. With her head held high, she took a job as a secretary at Tracey’s grade school. With that job, she was able to afford a two bedroom, rat infested apartment in a bad section of the Hills. I swore right then that I would get her out of that dump. It took me a little over four years, but I did it.
Sometimes I wonder if I became an escort solely to help my mother and sister. I mean, I think that’s why I did it. It’s what I’ve always told myself, anyway. But when I’m thinking about my father, and being baldly honest with myself, I can’t help but wonder if part of me took that job just because I knew my father would not have approved. Pretty deep thoughts for a boy-toy, huh? Yeah. I was definitely ready for a change.
“Come on, girl. Let’s go home and get cleaned up. We’ve got a day of doing nothing ahead of us. Sounds kind of nice, huh?” I got up and brushed myself off, clipping Heidi’s leash back on since I could see the beach patrol walking toward us. I was probably going to get another fine for having my dog on the beach past eight o’clock in the morning, but I didn’t care. I needed her with me.
CHAPTER 18
FAITH
I STILL COULDN’T believe Joe said he was quitting his job. I really hoped he hadn’t done that just for me. That’d be way too much pressure. I’m still not sure I want to date him. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, I do, but quite frankly, I’m scared.
And the things he’s said to me! I know I should be put off by that. Why did he tell me he was going to—you know—in the shower? Was it just for the shock value or was he trying to get me to think about him naked? Because it worked for both, and while I should be disgusted, I’m not. I’d say I’m more intrigued.
Then I received the invitation to Lion, Tigers, and Bears. I’ve wanted to go there forever, but never had anyone who was interested in going with me. There aren’t many things in life that I love as much as I love critters. All types. Big ones, small ones, nice ones, and even ones that would just as soon take your head off than look at you—it doesn’t matter. I think they all deserve a safe habitat to live in. And the ones that can’t take care of themselves deserve to have someone to look over them.
So, yeah. That invitation tugged at my heartstrings, and I was pretty sure I was going to say yes. Of course, I couldn’t help but notice the date of the invitation. Joe would no longer be working for Perfect Ten.
Instead of talking to the girls again about what to do about Joe, I decided to confide in my father. He’s always been there for me, and I could tell him anything.
“Hi, Daddy.” He picked up his phone in two rings.
“Hi, Pumpkin. How are you? Everything okay?” That was the way he answered my call every single time I called him.
“Yes, everything’s fine. I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me today.” We did that every once in a while. Just like old times, except we didn’t go to the Beverly Hills Hotel. We usually grabbed something quick and sat on the beach or ate on my deck.
“I’d love to. Let’s see, it’s almost noon now. How about if I pick something up and come over to your house?”
Daddy loved coming to my house. He said my house was a home, while his felt like a museum. The rich life never really suited him like it did other rich people—my mother, for example.
“That sounds great.”
“Are you eating rabbit food today or can I bring something good?”
“Umm, how about a compromise? How about a plain garden salad with real bleu cheese dressing?” That was one of my usual tricks. I love blue cheese, and I figured if that’s the only thing bad for me on my salad then I could have it.
“That’s not a compromise. How about a grilled chicken salad with blue cheese? You need something with some actual nutrition in it.”
“Okay. Final compromise. Grilled chicken salad with light Ranch dressing on the side.”
“Done.” As if he didn’t know he’d win. I can’t say no to that man. “See you in a bit, sweetheart.”
“Bye, Daddy.”
***
We talked while we ate our lunches sitting on the deck. I enjoyed my salad while my father enjoyed his pizza turnover with oozing cheese and sauce from out of the tiny cracks in the freshly made dough. It was a darn good thing I actually loved salad.
We didn’t talk about anything important as we ate; we just made comfortable small talk about how warm it had been and how the Sharks and the Kings were doing. Hockey was one of the interests we shared. It got pretty competitive too, since I was a Sharks fan and he was a Kings fan.
“I’m telling you, honey. I can feel it. The Kings are going all the way this year.”
“No way. Carter’s going to lose his mojo and go back to being ‘Carter high and wide.’” I love teasing my dad about his favorite player. He had a wicked wrist shot, but it often just missed the net. Of course, it just as often went in to my dismay. I was most definitely not a fan of the Kings’ biggest playboy.
“You wish.”
The waves were softly rolling onto the shore as I reluctantly agreed with him. “Yeah, I do wish.” My Sharks made the playoffs almost every year, but they’d never won Lord Stanley’s Cup. “Maybe this will be our year.”
We fell into an easy silence while we finished our meals, broken only by the occasional scream of a seagull flying overhead. When Daddy was done mopping up the remaining sauce on his plate with the last crust of dough, he turned to me and placed his hand on mine. “So, Pumpkin. What did you want to talk to me about?”
I never could hide anything from him. We were two peas in a pod, my father and I. “It’s about Joe.”
“Did he hurt you, sweetheart?”
“What? No! No, nothing like that. He’s really nice.” I told him everything—except for the part about how Joe made me scream out his name in the hotel room, of course. Daddy listened to my whole story, leaning forward on the table, without interrupting once. He was good like that. I think that’s why people always seemed to gravitate toward him. You knew that when you were speaking with him, he was listening.
With a slight frown marring his face, he sat back again as he took in everything I’d said. “Why are you telling me all of this, Pumpkin? Are you looking for my approval? You’re a grown woman. You don’t need that.”
“No. Not your approval exactly. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do. You know the girls. They all think I should throw caution to the wind and go for it, but you also know how I am. All of these self-doubts rise anytime a man seems interested in me—and someone who looks like Joe? With his choice of occupation? I guess I want another perspective on the matter.”
“Okay then, here it is. While I certainly don’t love that his job for the past six years has been dating different women, I liked him. You’ll always be my little girl, so no one is ever going to be good enough for you, but I know what I saw in Joe’s eyes at Sassy’s wedding. He cares about you—a lot.” He leaned forward and took my hands in his. “I know how you doubt yourself, Pumpkin, but love at first sight really does exist. Why wouldn’t he fall for you like that? You’re an angel. And you said he’s quitting his job, and even went so far as to tell you to stop judging him on his looks, so
he’s not trying to use them to gain your favor. That doesn’t sound like someone who just wants to play around, honey. If he did, he’d be using all that charm he learned over his years as an escort to get what he wanted.”
You know, it’s funny. My girlfriends have been telling me pretty much the same thing, but when it came from my dad, I believed it a little more. He’s never lied to me that I know of, and if he didn’t believe that Joe’s intentions were honorable, he would be the first one to say so. But my father was also a firm believer in second chances.
“The bottom line here is how you feel about him. I know you’ve been hurt before by men that were too stupid to realize what they had when they had you, but taking chances is what makes life worth living. Don’t sit back and watch something slip away before you even know if it’s worth going for. Maybe you’re thinking too hard about this. About Joe. He wants to take you out? Let him take you out. He’s not asking you to marry him. Go out, have some fun. Be young, live a little, you know what I’m saying?”
See? He’s awesome, isn’t he? I bounded out of my chair and hugged him, a big smile splitting my face. “I do, Daddy. Thank you. That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
His hand rapped lightly on my back. “Good. And if he does anything stupid, you just let me know. I can make him disappear.”
I shook my head, but was delighted at my father’s protective words. “Oh, Daddy, I wouldn’t want you to make him disappear, but thank you.”
With a quick kiss to my forehead, he left, leaving me to daydream about Joe without any doubts. It made for a nice evening and even allowed me to have sweet dreams about him.
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