by Luna, David
Asher
Asher shook his head. “Nothing between us, please, Daddy.”
Thornton nodded, expression serious. “I’ll give you what you need, baby boy.”
God, yes, he knew Thornton would. Knew it deep down in his bones. He didn’t want anything between them. Never, ever, anything between them. He wanted his first time to be perfect, and perfect was feeling Thornton slide into him, knowing it was him only, no latex separating them, and Daddy’s cum deep inside of him when he finally came. He needed Daddy to fill him up, to leave part of himself behind, to make him whole. Needed it like he needed oxygen to breathe.
He watched as Thornton wrapped his huge palm around his long, hard cock and slowly jacked himself with his lube-slicked hand. God, Thornton was a beautiful man. When Thornton raised his eyes to meet Asher’s, they were burning with intensity. He leaned over Asher, weight on one hand beside Asher on the bed, and slowly guided his huge cockhead to Asher’s entrance, nudging it against Asher’s tight pucker, eliciting a gasp. He was ready—he knew he was—but he couldn’t keep himself from tensing up.
Thornton lifted his gaze to Asher’s face, confidence oozing from him, a gentle smile of reassurance relaxing Asher before he even spoke. “I’m gonna take care of you. Trust me. Open yourself up for Daddy. Let me in, baby boy.”
He let his body relax and pushed out at the cock that was—even though he’d been prepped—a bit larger than the biggest dildo they’d been prepping him with. It was a stretch, and the pull of his taut skin as it surrounded Thornton’s crown hurt, but in the best way. Because it should hurt, shouldn’t it? The pain etched itself indelibly into his brain, never to forget, always to remember this first time with the man he loved.
Oh, god. He loved Thornton. He fucking loved this man with everything he was, everything he had.
Asher met Thornton’s eyes, and the passion between them ratcheted up several notches as what he realized sunk in, just as Daddy’s cockhead slipped past his second ring. Asher took the pain and reveled in it, opened himself wider, drew Daddy inside of him, his eyes stinging from the physical and emotional intensity of it all. Thornton’s gaze heated when he saw Asher’s tears. “You’re my good boy, Asher. Take it for me, for us.” Asher closed his eyes and forced himself to relax even more. “That’s it. Ahh, Asher, baby.”
Thornton slid in, bottoming out, and he slowly lowered to his elbows, hovering over Asher but otherwise holding still, waiting. Thornton’s face was so calm, so serene, breathing confidence into Asher as the seconds ticked by. But god, he could feel what it was taking for Thornton to remain still, to keep himself from pulling out and thrusting back in. Daddy’s body was shaking with it.
He reached up, clasped Thornton’s face, and pulled him down for a mind-numbing kiss. “Make me feel good, Daddy.”
Thornton groaned and nuzzled into the crook of Asher’s neck as he slowly pulled nearly all the way out and slid back in. Asher whimpered. He’d never felt anything so good. His body was humming like a live wire, and he gasped as Thornton pushed back in a third time. And then Thornton was moving faster but with so much gentleness Asher could hardly believe it. He was expecting his ribs to hurt, and while he felt them twinge at the repeated movements, the pleasure far outweighed the pain.
Thornton pulled back a bit to raise himself up on his knees, spreading them wide and, in turn, spreading Asher’s leg’s even wider, before settling back down on his elbows. Just that change in angle had Asher’s nerve endings singing. As Thornton slowly pistoned in and out, Asher’s prostate was being pegged over and over and over.
Thornton growled in his ear. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.”
He whimpered. “Daddy.”
“Yeah, sweetheart. You’re taking Daddy’s cock so well.”
They lost themselves to the rhythm of it, Thornton’s grunts, moans, and groans clashed against Asher’s mewling, whimpers, and sighs. And suddenly he couldn’t take anymore without touching himself. “Daddy, please, I need…”
“I know what you need.”
And he did. He shifted his weight to one arm and reached between them, gripping Asher’s cock in a tight fist, the same fist he’d used earlier on his own cock, the small trace of the lube remaining was enough to smooth the way. Asher gripped onto the back of Thornton’s head, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Nearly out of his mind with the need to come, he tipped his head back, and Thornton took advantage of his movement to suck and nip on Asher’s neck and then bit down on the juncture between neck and shoulder, causing him to cry out.
“Daddy, please, please, please.”
“Almost, baby. Almost.”
Asher whimpered, no longer in control of his body, giving it up to Thornton and floating in the whirlwind of feelings. Thornton’s hips lost their smooth movement, choppy half thrusts punctuated by Thornton’s groans, nearly tipped him over the edge, but he wouldn’t, not until…
“Come for Daddy, baby boy.”
He let go, blissfully releasing everything he’d been holding back, cum splattering his stomach. Thornton jerked with a groan, stilling inside him for several seconds before he continued his uneven pace. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Asher, god, baby.”
Several long moments slipped by them as they both caught their breath, aftershocks seeming to rip through Thornton several times. He ran his hand up and down Thornton’s sweaty back, loving that his man had worked hard enough to pleasure them both that he’d worked up a good sweat.
He felt when Thornton’s body had no more energy to hold him up and braced for their bodies to make contact, but ever careful of him, Thornton gently pulled out, leaving him feeling somewhat bereft, until he lay down beside Asher and tugged him close, into the crook of his arm. Resting his head on Thornton’s chest, Asher couldn’t ever remember feeling so relaxed, so happy, and so sated.
Everywhere he turned, there were more people. It felt like they were crawling out of the fucking woodwork. There was a sale going on at The Glasshouse, and the portion of the greenhouse that was open to customers seemed to be twice as busy as it normally was.
He’d been fine at first. He’d done his deep breathing exercises, and he’d kept to the area that was for employees only, but he hadn’t counted on the sale bringing in so many customers, and he’d saved his data collection from the open part of the greenhouse until last minute for some fucking reason, working his way from the back to the front.
He’d always done it the opposite way, so he rarely had to deal with customers. But his mind was such a mess and he wasn’t coping well. And on a good day, he could have handled it better, but this… this wasn’t a good day.
He was struggling. And for as far back as Asher could remember, it hadn’t been this bad. He knew—deep down he knew—he’d created the current state he was in. But that didn’t make it easier to breathe; that didn’t make it easier to function. Nothing seemed to do that. All the normal things he used to do to keep the anxiety under control weren’t working anymore. It was like his security blanket was yanked out from under him.
There was pounding in his head and pounding…
“Asher, open the door.”
“I—” He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’ll be right out.”
“Asher…”
“I’m fine, Madi. I—”
“You’re not fine. Do I need to call Thornton, or are you going to open the door?”
His stomach plummeted. She wouldn’t, would she? “Madi, don’t…”
“Then open the door because right now you’re scaring me, and if you won’t let me help you, you need to call Thornton, or I’ll do it for you.”
He sighed, knowing she’d do it if he pushed her. He got up from the floor of the supply room, where he’d been leaning against the door so no one—namely Madi—could come in. The irony that he was opening the door for the very person he’d been trying to keep out wasn’t lost on him. He took a couple of breaths—they weren’t deep; he didn’t have it in him—but they were fortifying,
so that was as good as he could do.
Opening the door, he made to walk out into the stockroom, but her hand on his shoulder kept him right where he was as she passed him on her way into the small room and closed the door behind her. “Come on, I told you I’m fine. Let’s go.”
“You’re not fine. What’s going on with you, Ash?”
“Nothing. I just got overwhelmed. I’m fine now. I just needed a few minutes, that’s all.”
She frowned. “You were white as a ghost when you bolted out of the greenhouse. I haven’t seen you like that in a while. I think you should call Thornton to pick you up early.”
He shook his head. The truth was he’d felt a panic attack looming, and he’d escaped before it hit and humiliated him in front of paying customers. He wasn’t about to let Thornton see him like this. There was no way. “He’s in meetings all day. I’m sure he’s catching up on stuff he put off while I was staying with him.”
“You know he’d drop everything to come get you, right? That’s what Daddies do.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want him to have to rescue me, Madi. I’m an adult, and I should be able to take care of myself.”
She looked disappointed in him, which made everything worse. “Everybody needs help sometimes, Asher. Maybe it’s time for you to ask for it.”
He resented her as much as he was grateful for her in that moment, and he wasn’t about to take his panic and piss-poor mood out on her. “If I’m feeling rough this evening when he’s done with his meetings, I’ll give him a call. Please, just let me handle this myself, all right? It’s important to me.”
She looked as if she might push back, might try to convince him otherwise, but with a slump of her shoulders, she relented. “Okay, but you should think about trusting him to take care of you.”
“I do trust him, Madi. I just… I want to be able to take care of myself.”
She hugged him, and when she pulled back, she whispered, “You’ve proven you could do that your whole damn life, Ash. But now that you have Thornton, you don’t have to anymore.”
She opened the door and walked out, leaving him there. The truth of her words hit him hard as he finally made his way back out to the floor, but that didn’t change the fact he couldn’t count on Thornton every second of every day. It wasn’t realistic, and it wasn’t fair to Thornton. His anxiety was an albatross around his own neck; he wasn’t going to bring Thornton down with him. He just had to sort his own shit out, get himself under control, and then things would even out.
But as things often went, things never evened out, and his week had continually gotten worse as he went along, carried by the currents of whatever anxiety attack hit him next. It was like a perpetual game of whack-a-mole. As soon as he took care of one thing causing him to panic, something else cropped up.
Thornton had been driving him each day. And so far, he’d been able to keep his shit together around him. Except for Monday, when he’d had a meltdown before Thornton had even pulled out of the driveway. But he’d half expected that, and by that time, he’d panicked around Thornton enough that he was embarrassed but not completely humiliated.
When he’d finally gotten himself under control and Thornton had dropped him off at work, he had a good feeling about the coming days. But it seemed that Murphy’s Law was playing out in every aspect of his life. And with the weekend upon him, he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle being back at Thornton’s place after the week he’d had.
He’d finished his work without any more mishaps and had revved himself up for Thornton to arrive. So when Daddy’s sleek new BMW SUV slid into the parking space that had just emptied up in front of The Glasshouse, he pushed through the double doors, a smile on his face, ready for some Daddy time, some playtime, and some sexy time.
Things had to get better, right?
He slid into the passenger seat and leaned across the console to kiss Thornton. “Hi, Daddy.”
Thornton clasped the side of his face and gazed into his eyes. “Hey, baby boy. I missed you this week. You ready for the weekend?”
He nodded because he was. He really was. Maybe he’d be able to get some decent sleep, and playtime would get him back on track. Thornton sat back and clasped his hand, and Asher closed his eyes as they idled, Enya’s “Watermark” already playing. They sat as he silently did his deep breathing exercises and repeated his mantra in his head.
It was the ritual he’d always gone through for himself, and when Thornton had asked to know what he did to keep the panic at bay when he was in a car, he’d told him exactly what. From that point forward, Enya had been available, and Thornton had told him they’d sit and wait as the car idled, holding hands. And when Asher was ready, all he had to do was squeeze Thornton’s hand and they’d be on their way.
It was the first car ride he’d taken with Thornton during his recuperation. Or rather, it was the day he’d agreed to take a ride, but his panic had been so awful, he’d lost it in the garage, and then they’d only made it to the car before another one hit. Thornton had promised him they wouldn’t be driving anywhere; they’d just sit in the car. That was when he’d asked what Asher did to get by, and pretty soon Thornton had opened the garage bay and turned the car on, queuing Enya immediately. And they’d sat there, doing nothing but holding hands and listening to Enya.
Thinking back, he realized that was the moment he’d fallen in love with Thornton. He hadn’t known it at the time. It hadn’t clicked until the night he’d lost his virginity, but when he thought on it long and hard, that had been the moment it had happened. Just about at the two-week mark after they’d met. Jesus, talk about falling fast. It was ridiculous. But he realized he wouldn’t change it for the world.
Squeezing Thornton’s hand, they backed slowly out of the parking space and were on their way home. Or, rather, to Thornton’s home. He kept his eyes closed most of the way, and Thornton didn’t say a word, allowing him to focus on his mantra, music, and breathing. When they got there, Thornton grabbed Asher’s backpack and led him inside. Beauty and Beast were there to greet him. He got down on his knees in front of the dogs and hugged them, getting several licks on his face as a result. Asher was close to tears at how much he’d missed them since he’d left.
He felt a warmth at his back and realized Thornton had squatted down behind him. He gave his pups some scritches and then placed his hands on Asher’s shoulders, giving the side of his neck a kiss, his voice a near-whisper when he said, “They missed you. Daddy missed you, too.”
He nearly broke right then but held himself together by the skin of his teeth. He leaned back into Thornton’s embrace and managed to keep his voice steady when he said, “I missed you all, too.”
They stayed like that for several minutes, petting the puppies, Thornton’s strong presence behind him. He needed that time to settle himself before he could meet Thornton’s gaze, or his emotional turmoil would show. When they finally made it into the kitchen, Thornton asked, “Have you had any lunch?”
He shook his head. “I was too busy. But I can just have a snack. You don’t have to go to any trouble.”
Thornton met his gaze then, and the look he gave Asher made him uneasy for the conversations he was sure would be forthcoming during his weekend stay. Daddy saw through him. He’d known he would. All Asher could do was play down the trouble he’d had while he’d been on his own. There were no rules he had to tell Daddy everything, and Asher wanted to keep a bit of pride.
“Go on up and change. Get comfortable. By the time you come down, I’ll have your lunch ready. I want you to be in your little space as much as possible this weekend. I think you need it, and I want you relaxed. Daddy wants his boy here with him. But I’m happy if you’d like to save that until tomorrow and Sunday. What would you prefer?”
He could tell Thornton hadn’t wanted to give him a choice. He’d wanted to demand, and honestly, he’d have preferred it that way. He didn’t want to make decisions. He wanted to sink into regression and let it take him awa
y from himself. Away from the week, away from the feelings and emotions of everything he’d had running through his head every day since he’d left Thornton’s house to go home.
“I’d like to be little, Daddy.”
Thornton approached, arms outstretched, and gathered him in, rocking him back and forth and rubbing his back. “That’s my good boy. Go on then. Come back down when you’re ready.”
He’d made quick work of shucking off the remnants of his adult self as he pulled on some Star Wars pajamas with baby Yodas on them. He’d gone down to a train sandwich on his plate, baby carrots, and hummus. He’d never been so happy to see his place setting in his life. He felt himself settle for the first time in five days, and it felt like he’d lost a heavy burden when the weight of the week slipped off his shoulders.
Thornton sat down kitty-corner to him, with his own sandwich.
Asher beamed up at him, bouncing in his seat. “Thank you, Daddy. It looks yummy.” He took a sip from his cup, wondering what he’d find in it, and beamed when he tasted grape juice. “Mmm.” He gasped and stood up. “Did you leave my track out?”
He started to turn towards the front of the house, wanting to get a glimpse of the huge track he’d made and never taken down. It was too perfect. He knew he’d eventually want to rebuild something different, but—
“Asher, I promised I’d leave your track just exactly as it was, and I did. But you need to eat your lunch like a good boy before you get to play.”
He sighed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to talk Daddy out of his decision. “Okay. Thank you for leaving it up.”
“You’re welcome. You can play with it this afternoon, and then I thought we could play Go Fish, or you could color. I got those new coloring books we ordered last weekend, and I might have gotten you some pretty gel pens to use as well.”
He gasped and bounced in his chair. “Are they sparkly? Remember I said I liked sparkly gel pens, and mine were running out? Did you get me new sparklies?” When Daddy just chuckled, Asher patted him on the arm. “Can I see them?”
