Move On

by B. R. Paulson

  “We’re going to leave. There’s nothing else we can do.” Cady glanced at the wall clock above the office doors. Time hadn’t stopped when the power went out – not for battery-operated clocks. Not yet. “It’s ten. Be ready to leave in an hour or so. We have no idea what will happen and I’d rather not wait to find out.” She glanced at Bailey, then at Scott. “If you’re going with us, I’d suggest you get your things together. I’m going to pack up as much of my stuff as I can. If you want included in that, meet me outside.”

  “An hour? Let’s wait until the morning, Cady. We can at least do that. Sleep on it. You’re just starting to feel better, I’m still weak, too. We’ve gone through too much. We need a break, just a break. Please, we’ll both have a better handle on a plan by then.” Scott couldn’t make up his mind right then. He had too much to process, too much to filter through as he tried to figure out his next step. He wasn’t lying when he said he was tired and exhausted. He couldn’t go any further and have confidence in what he was doing.

  Cady stared incredulously at him. “Are you hearing yourself? We can’t wait until morning. What if an hour is too long? They’re coming. Someone is coming and they won’t be as diabolical as Jackson. They’ll be killers, plain and simple. They’ll want what is here and you won’t be able to stop them. This house has too many windows. Too many weaknesses. It’s the one thing I couldn’t fix… before.” She pushed from the table, disappointment in the crease between her eyebrows. “No, there’s nothing to talk about. What if those people from the fence come? What if they find us… we aren’t that far away from where they are.”

  They weren’t, but that hadn’t been Scott’s concern. For some reason, he didn’t care. Of course, Cady was right and Scott didn’t want to give that to her. He wanted to hold onto something else for himself.

  He didn’t want to leave. He’d been uprooted already. Cady hadn’t held back on rubbing his migration to her place in his face. Scott needed normalcy for just a few days. He needed to be on his own to think things through. She wanted to leave, but Scott couldn’t do that.

  He avoided her gaze as she stormed away.

  Chapter 12

  Bailey

  Bailey ignored Scott as she turned from the flickering candle light and the dining room. Mom wasn’t backing down and they were leaving. She didn’t want to leave and what she wanted didn’t matter. After everything she’d done since her dad died and all the growing up she’d had to do, being treated like a child was like a slap in the face.

  Walking through the living room, Bailey glanced down as she passed Jessica. The infant slept peacefully, already learning to sleep through anything. Not for the first time did Bailey wonder what was in store for the sweet baby.

  Bailey didn’t envy Jessica. She was Scott’s niece. He would be in charge of her. When Cady and Bailey left – it was no longer a matter of if, Bailey had seen the look on her mom’s face – Scott would keep the baby with him. That tore at Bailey’s resilience.

  She bent down, brushing her fingers across the baby’s smooth forehead. Blinking back tears, Bailey made her way to the stairs. If Scott would have her, did that mean Bailey shouldn’t worry about her anymore? What about Scott? Was he off limits as well? He’d taken on the role of a caring uncle and Bailey didn’t want to say goodbye. There’d been too much of that already.

  All of her personal things were in her room. The few things she would be able to take with her had to be portable and practical. She couldn’t take everything.

  In her bedroom, Bailey’s heart sank. Nothing would ever be the same again. She had to accept that. If she could accept that, then her longing to take the yearbooks, the school paraphernalia, diaries, and stuffed animals would pass. Maybe. She could hope. As it was, she avoided flipping through the pages of her friends and people she’d only known in passing. They’d all be dead by now. Wasn’t everyone dead or dying?

  She grabbed her favorite paperbacks – there were only three – Anne of Green Gables, Lord of the Rings, and the Hunger Games Omnibus – and shoved them into a small paperboy-style satchel. She wouldn’t need jewelry, but she would need clothes.

  Into a backpack, she stuffed some socks, underwear, tampons from her dresser drawer, some bras, tshirts, two pairs of jeans, pajamas, and her favorite coat. The bag barely zipped, but Bailey forced it.

  She ignored her makeup, the cell phone, and e-reader. Her tablet and other things she’d thought so important before were useless and she didn’t even spare them a passing glance.

  Bailey passed her vanity and stopped. She didn’t need the flashlight to know the pictures tucked along the edges of the mirror. She grabbed the one of her family, her dad, her mom and her, and one of her grandparents. The pictures of her friends she left behind. She had no reason to dwell on them.

  If she pretended they had never existed, the pain wasn’t quite as sharp.

  No, her present day concerns included staying alive and doing what her mom told her to do. Even though Bailey had already faced death and survived on her own. Past her pride and ego, she could recognize that she needed her mom.

  At the bottom of the stairs, Scott stopped her, grabbing her wrist and peering into her eyes. “Look, I’m serious. I’m not going.” He glanced around like he expected Cady to come out of the shadows and kill him.

  “Why? Mom said it’s not going to be safe here. She wouldn’t want to leave this place. Trust me.” Bailey stared at him. Something had broken inside him and the candlelight only enhanced the shadow of pain on his face. Had Bailey done that when she killed Jason? Guilt mingled with her sadness and she didn’t know if she’d ever feel normal again.

  “I can’t leave my home. My home is here. It may not be this house, but this area is my home. My family might come for me. I need to…” He paused, glanced at his hand gripping Bailey’s wrist and dropped it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to scare you. I really just wanted to know what happened… with Jason. That’s all I was going to ask you. If you… If you’re okay talking about it.”

  But Bailey didn’t need the clarifier. She knew what he wanted to know. She swallowed, folding her arms over her chest as if a sudden chill attacked her. “I…” Closing her eyes, Bailey forced herself to face her memories – which while they weren’t that long ago, hours at the most, they felt like an eternity. “I took Jessica to feed the chickens and then we came back inside. He… he was waking up, but not himself. We went upstairs to get some things – just like diapers and stuff, I can’t remember. When I was up there,” She pointed up the stairs and swallowed. “He started screaming about killing her… um, killing the baby. That he had to kill her to save the world.” Bailey blinked back tears, but to no avail. They streamed down her cheeks. She breathed deeply, trying to avoid the panting that she knew would come.

  Scott backed up, leaning his shoulder on the doorjamb to the living room. He stared at Bailey in horror but didn’t say anything. Lifting his hand, he covered his mouth with a finger.

  “He chased me upstairs. So I locked us in my mom’s room and grabbed her gun under the bed. We hid in the toilet room, the one past the shower?” She continued at his nod, twisting her lips to the side. “I… I couldn’t get out and he broke through every door. All he wanted was Jessica. That’s all he cared about – killing her. I tried reasoning with him. I begged him not to… I begged him.” She had tried so hard to escape. She lifted accusing eyes at Scott. “I didn’t want to shoot him. You guys left me here with him and the baby. I had to choose. Jessica or him. He wouldn’t stop. I shot him three times. Three. Then I climbed out onto the roof with Jessica and he still came after us. He wouldn’t stop.” Her voice caught and she winced. “He kept coming until he slipped on the ice and fell to the rock bed.”

  She closed her eyes, pushing her fist under her chin. “I took Ranger and Jessica and we hid in the shed. I didn’t have any other choice.” Did Scott believe her? She had nothing else to give him, whether he believed her or not.

  Right then, as she rel
ived the horror that she would never be able to escape, Bailey realized she didn’t care what he believed. She’d had to survive it. She’d had to make sure the baby made it.

  After a lengthy pause filled with Bailey sniffing and the soft splutter of the flames in the glass candle holders, Scott leaned forward, pulling Bailey into his arms. “I’m so sorry. Thank you for saving Jessica. Thank you.”

  Something hardened in Bailey and she pulled back. She hadn’t done it for Scott. She’d done it because she cared about Jessica. She didn’t want to leave the baby there with a man who wasn’t even sure how to stay safe himself. “So, you’re going to stay.” Bailey walked past him into the living room. She hadn’t checked on Jessica in a few minutes and the need to see her was strong.

  “Yeah, my family might come for me. They know to head up this way.” Scott followed her, avoiding the baby sleeping on the couch.

  “What about Jessica? She’s your family.” Bailey tossed the challenge out there like she expected him to make up his mind. She didn’t want him to. Not if it meant he was keeping the baby. Of course, he was keeping Jessica. She was his family. Wasn’t that what he cared about?

  “I…” Scott glanced finally at the baby, as if unsure what to say or even what she was.

  Jessica chose that moment to wake, her cries starting slowly and then growing in decibel. Bailey sat beside her and pulled her into her arms, cooing as she rocked her back and forth. Her cries slowly faded to whimpers but she didn’t calm down completely.

  Scott winced. “I can’t take care of her.” He wouldn’t look at Jessica or Bailey as he admitted his inabilities.

  “What do I do?” Bailey leaned Jessica down, checking her diaper. “You can’t abandon her. I’m not sure my mom would let me take her.” She wanted to. She wanted to keep the baby because she needed something to need her.

  “What’s going on? Are you ready to go already?” Bailey’s mom walked in, glancing between the three of them and setting her jaw. Folding her arms, she watched them with narrowed eyes while waiting for one of them to explain what they were talking about.

  Bailey didn’t break her eye contact with Scott. He didn’t say anything and his personal shame seemed to attack his vocal chords. She finally spoke up, holding his gaze. “Scott won’t go with us and he doesn’t want Jessica.”

  Cady glanced at Bailey and her hold on Jessica as well as the challenge in her voice. She glanced at Scott. “You’re really not going?” Her voice was deadpan and Bailey recognized it for what it was. Resolution.

  Scott didn’t answer, the slump in his shoulders more than enough.

  Folding her arms, Cady peered at him. “What about…” She motioned her finger between Scott’s chest and hers. The challenge was clear.

  Bailey finally understood the tension. There was some kind of attraction between them and she hadn’t seen it. She would have to inspect it later, when there wasn’t so much on the line. When her father hadn’t died recently.

  Scott finally met Cady’s gaze. He lifted his chin. “Things have changed. You have to feel it. I –”

  “Got it.” Cady held up her hand and transferred her gaze to Jessica in Bailey’s arms. “She’s not our responsibility.” She held her gaze hard, unwilling to yield as she faced the rejection and ignored it. One more thing she had off her plate.

  “I know, Mom, but I love her.” Bailey tightened her hold on the baby. She didn’t want that connection to Jessica be torn from her, too. She couldn’t as easily push aside the way she felt about anything, least of all another person. She hadn’t even started her grief for Jason yet.

  Bailey’s mom shifted her gaze to Scott. “If we take her, I’m not bringing her back. There are no second chances.” Something in her tone said it applied to more than just the baby.

  Scott nodded jerkily, cocking his head to the side. “I can’t take her. Please. I don’t care enough right now to do her justice. Not yet. I can’t…” He reached out, tracing Cady’s jaw with his thumb. “I’m sorry. I’m not who I was. Things have changed… I can’t be who you need, either.” Without another word he turned and left the living room.

  Bailey sat and stared at her mom who watched him leave. Her mom winced as the door slammed shut as he left the house. She wasn’t as stone cold as she had fronted. Taking a deep breath, she nodded.

  Something shifted in Bailey as she witnessed her mom’s strength. Grit took the place of Bailey’s weakness and fatigue. She swallowed back her sadness. Her mom wouldn’t pity her right then. She would demand more from Bailey.

  “We need to get ready. I’m not joking.” Cady leaned down and in a rare display of affection, she kissed Bailey’s forehead. “We can do this. It’s just an adventure.” She smiled tightly and walked off as if she hadn’t just called leaving their home an adventure.

  It wasn’t and Bailey wasn’t dumb enough to fall for it.

  Chapter 13

  Cady

  Everything was falling apart. Forget society. Forget all the dead people. Forget the fact that Cady… no, forget it all. She was done. She was so tired. So weak and she just wanted to forget it all.

  In the garage, Cady carefully maneuvered her way outside, past the drill press, the table saw, a large garbage can, and the stack of baby supplies she’d stolen for Scott and his niece.

  The niece he didn’t want anymore.

  The whole situation sucked. Bailey didn’t realize Jessica wasn’t a puppy. What happened when Bailey got bored with her? Cady would have to take care of her. Babies weren’t Cady’s thing. She’d loved Bailey but treasured her own independence. There wasn’t a lot of independence attached to having a child, especially one so small.

  Pausing at the man-door facing east, Cady took a deep breath and pushed all of it aside as much as possible. She didn’t want to deal with all of the regrets, worries, and just plain shocking moments. Focus on the task at hand. She’d already told Bailey they could take Jessica. Anything to get them on their way faster. One way or the other, they had to get going. She could recognize that Scott was checking out altogether. Her conscience wouldn’t let her leave a helpless baby with someone who wasn’t even sure what he valued anymore.

  She jerked open the door and stepped outside.

  Spring wasn’t letting her down. She breathed in the cool, clean air. If nothing else, at least she could rely on the consistency of the weather. The weather couldn’t get a virus and die or hold a gun on her and steal from her. No, Mother Nature would rain and storm and pour sunshine down. That was it.

  Leaving her house was going to be harder than Cady let on. She didn’t want to leave the protection of knowing. At the house, they knew where everything was, had everything they needed. They were already there. They didn’t have to travel anywhere. There was relative safety.

  But leaving… she had to pack up what she could and hope it made it to her parents’ place in Bonners Ferry. How was she supposed to choose between the priority of food and the importance of first aid? At least, she knew where she was headed and what was there, but it still wasn’t her place. It still lacked the things she needed. Her parents hadn’t been as prepared as Cady had been. They hadn’t stocked up the last couple weeks before the virus hit. Cady was definitely downgrading by leaving her home. She didn’t have any other choice.

  Cady paused beside Scott’s rig. She would have to get Beth’s things out of the back before he left or did whatever it was he was planning on doing. She swung the back door open, leaning on the bumper for a brief moment as she tried to gather her strength.

  The bins were heavy and she wasn’t strong. At least not right then. Normally, the bins wouldn’t phase her, but with the virus still so rampant in her system and the chaos she couldn’t seem to escape, her fatigue was close to debilitating. What could she do? Her body wanted to give up, but her mind knew she didn’t have that option. She didn’t have the option to just lie down and take a break.

  It just wasn’t an option.

  She had to save Bailey. If it wa
sn’t for the pox rash on Jackson’s neck, she wouldn’t even bother with the bins of oils and herbs. She would leave them behind. There were plenty of essential oils in her first aid kit.

  But not the ones she needed for the virus. Not the ones she had to figure out how to make. Beth had said she could make some, but she hadn’t told Cady how. Cady would have to figure it out and before Bailey came down with the virus. She had a sick feeling that she was out of time before she’d even tried.

  Seeing Jackson’s weakness to the virus after he’d taken the vaccine only confirmed Cady’s fears that the vaccine wasn’t going to be a permanent solution. Vaccines never were. They weren’t a 100%. They couldn’t be. If they were, the viruses they protected against wouldn’t still be around. But as more and more people’s immunities faced the virus and won, there would be a higher chance for internal immunity than a vaccine could give.

  In order for the internal immunity to grow and develop, the person had to survive the virus. Jason had been too sick. He’d died. He’d been young and healthy and strong. He hadn’t made it. The bullet wounds and the fall didn’t mean anything. The black liquid testified he was headed out already. Scott hadn’t had that and neither had Cady, but Kent had, Rachel had.

  If Bailey did…

  Cady shook her head. She couldn’t think like that. She reached up and wrestled a bin to the ground, the scraping of the plastic bottom on the concrete and gravel centered her to the moment. If nothing else, she could do this. She could move things around. Get things packed. She didn’t have time to reminisce or think. She would have to plan as things came up.

  The bins took some doing, but she got them out and stacked by the garage. Breathing hard, Cady wiped at her forehead. Cold sweats weren’t necessarily a good thing. She’d been suffering from a fever not even twenty-four-hours ago. She shouldn’t be pushing herself like that.

  “No. Just deal with it.” Cady shoved herself away from her position against the building. Now she had to attach the big box trailer to her truck. That wouldn’t be a big deal – if she weren’t exhausted.