by I. T. Lucas
Kian regarded her coolly, still leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. "Nice speech, Amanda. One problem, though. The when, is an if. If she turns and if I were a betting man, I would've not put my money on this one. And the answer is still no."
Amanda set her elbows onto the table, dropping her forehead on her hands. "You are such a stu… stubborn old goat. Just sleep on it. Don't decide anything yet. Maybe when you meet her, you'll change your mind."
"I don't think so, princess." Kian's tone got a shade warmer as he leaned in and patted her cheek as if she was a petulant child. "Look, you will have similar chances of success using another male. The only thing I'm spoiling for you is your romantic fantasies. It's not a big disaster. Put on your big-girl panties and deal!"
Amanda smiled at his feeble attempt at levity. Despite his stubbornness and gruffness and bad temper, she knew that he loved her. "If I were leaning that way, I would have snatched Syssi for myself in a heartbeat. I like her that much." She pouted.
Kian rolled his eyes and dug into his salad, letting her know that as far as he was concerned, this discussion was over.
CHAPTER 5: SYSSI
“Why Amanda thought I could do this is beyond me,” Syssi muttered as she stared at yet another printout. With the computer spouting nonsensical results all morning, and no closer to finding her error than she was five hours ago, taking a hammer to the thing was looking more and more appealing
Heaving a sigh, she ran her fingers through her long, thick hair, again. Sticking out in all directions, it was tangled and knotted from the number of times she pushed her fingers through it.
I probably look like Einstein; unfortunately, not because of what's inside my head.
It was time for a break, the hollow feeling in her belly reminding her she hadn’t eaten yet. Two espressos, one cappuccino, and eight cups of coffee, all consumed before lunch, hadn't been food, and were excessive even for the caffeine addict she was.
Syssi reached for coffee the way other people reached for alcohol. When agitated, or worried, or just in need of a break, the ritual of making it, pouring it, and stirring in the precise amount of sweetener relaxed her.
Drinking a truly good cup of coffee was her idea of bliss.
Pushing up from her chair, she stretched her back and turned toward the two postdocs. "I'm going to grab a sandwich. You guys want anything?"
Hanna shook her head, pointing to the empty protein shake container on her desk. Her latest diet craze consisted of protein shakes, protein bars, and water. Nothing else.
David, the other postdoc, smiled his creepy smile and took a big bite of his salami sandwich.
Ugh, she must have been really engrossed in her work not to notice the nauseating stench.
"I can bring cookies ..."
Hanna made a sad face. "Rub it in, why don't you. Waving sweet, delicious carbs in front of the fat girl. Meanie!"
"Okay, no cookies."
"Hey, what about me? I want something sweet..." David leered.
"In solidarity with Hanna, no dessert." Syssi pretended not to get it, her usual line of defense against unwanted advances.
David was a jerk. He didn't flirt or tell jokes, or any of the other things guys usually did to get Syssi's attention. He ogled, made inappropriate comments, and habitually invaded her personal space; believing for some inexplicable reason that he was God's gift to women everywhere. His delusional beliefs aside, his problem wasn't that he was ugly, just schlummpy and unkempt.
Though, more than his personal hygiene or taste in clothes, it was his personality that needed a major makeover.
In the lab's kitchenette, Syssi slapped together her favorite sandwich of goat cheese, tomatoes, and basil on whole wheat, then ate it leaning against the counter. Besides needing a break from sitting at her desk, she wasn't ready to go back yet and deal with David.
Now that he started with his idiotic comments, he'd be on a roll for the rest of the day.
Oh, the joy...
"Good afternoon, darlings!" Syssi heard Amanda make her grand entrance. "Missed me terribly I hope? And where is my girl Syssi?"
"Over here!" Syssi called over a mouthful.
Amanda poked her head into the kitchenette, then stepped in and leaned against the counter next to Syssi. "So, what's up, how are you doing?"
"I'm dying out there. I can't find what's wrong with my programming. The computer has been spouting nonsense all morning, and I'm ready to go at the thing with a sledgehammer."
"Why didn't you ask David for help?" Amanda crossed her legs at her ankles and her arms over her chest.
Syssi cast her boss a sidelong glance. "Are you serious? He will never let me live it down, probably demand a hook-up as payment. The creep." Syssi snorted.
Amanda's expression turned serious. "I know you don't like David, heck, I don't like him either. But he is very good at what he does, and you need to use him. There will always be men like him trying to mess with you, but if you let them, you'll find it damn hard to accomplish anything. You need to be forceful and refuse to take shit from anyone. Sometimes a girl needs to be a bitch not to get pushed around. Be a bitch, Syssi! You might even enjoy it." Amanda winked, her gorgeous face returning to its usual brightness.
"Thank you for the advice, Mommy."
Amanda was right, though. Syssi needed to deal with David, or working in the lab would become intolerable.
"What I don't understand, though, is why you hired him if you don't like him?" Syssi frowned.
"He was the best applicant for the job. And besides, I hired him because I don't like him."
"So am I to assume that you don't like me either? Since you hired me..." Syssi pretended offense.
"No, my dear, sweet Syssi, I adore you. You know that! Stop fishing for compliments!" Amanda slapped her cheek playfully, then kissed it. "I hire females I like, and males I don't."
Searching her face, Syssi realized Amanda wasn't joking. Her boss seemed completely sincere. "I don't understand."
"Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare,” Amanda quoted, looking down at her stiletto-clad feet.
"Oh, Amanda, you're not that bad. I don't buy the whole femme fatale act."
"Who said it's an act? And I am bad... really bad... You have no idea how bad!" Amanda made a wicked face.
"You witch!" Syssi laughed, mock-punching Amanda's shoulder.
Amanda shrugged, pushed away from the counter and headed for her desk with the sensual saunter of a seasoned temptress.
Syssi believed Amanda's sex-on-a-stick act was mostly the theatrics of a drama queen. Being so strikingly beautiful, she naturally expected to be the center of attention wherever she showed her face. Still, was it possible that she really was as bad as she claimed to be? Maybe.
And why not? Amanda wasn't married, didn't even have a boyfriend, she could and did as she pleased. Good for her!
Reflecting on her own nonexistent love life, Syssi cringed. She hadn't been on a single date since things finally had fallen apart with Gregg. For two lonely years, she'd mourned a relationship that had been dying a slow death long before it had ended. Though, in retrospect, she realized it was the sense of failure more than any lingering tender feelings that had her stuck on the sidelines while everyone around her was having the time of their lives, or at least pretending to.
Syssi had met Gregg her first week of college, and they’d stayed together until his graduation four years later. Being her first serious boyfriend, and her first and only lover, there had been this expectation that their relationship would lead to marriage. Except, when he had moved to Sacramento for a job, it had been a relief for both of them.
So why was she still alone? Syssi had no good answer for that. Men found her attractive, and she didn't lack propositions. Except, there was no one she found even remotely enticing.
Her relationship with Gregg had left her insecure in her sexuality and wary of men. In truth, he probably hadn't been aware of being a jerk
, never actually saying or doing anything that was outright derogatory. He’d just always managed to twist things around and blame her for everything that hadn't worked to his satisfaction. His grades falling short of spectacular had been her fault because she had taken too much of his time. They hadn’t gone out enough because she hadn't scheduled and planed it. They hadn't had enough friends because she hadn't been outgoing enough… and so it went.
But the worst blow to her self-esteem had been the sex. There had been no intensity to it, no excitement... it’d felt like a chore. Was it a wonder then, that she hadn't been looking forward to it? And of course, it had been all her fault. She hadn't initiated enough, she hadn't excited him enough. She hadn't been hot enough.
Blah, blah, blah...
Logically, she knew he had been full of shit. Where had been his contribution? Had he been just a bystander in their life together, waiting for her to do everything? But on the inside, in that irrational place where her fears and insecurities hid, she sometimes thought that maybe he had been right. Maybe she really wasn't assertive enough, outgoing enough, sexy enough...
Lacking... She felt lacking.
Syssi shook herself. That's definitely enough self-pity for one day. And besides, not all of it had been bad.
Gregg had stood by her side in her time of need. He had been loyal and apart from the never-ending complaining a pleasure to talk to.... But when a relationship ends, there is a tendency to remember all the negatives while the good parts get marginalized, forgotten.
It was time to move on, though. Maybe she should go on some of the blind dates her friends were trying to set her up on. Or even look into those dating sites Hannah had suggested. But although Syssi promised herself she'd do it, she never took a step in that direction. Tomorrow, next week…
"Yo! Syssi! Your cellphone is ringing!" Hanna called from the other room.
"Coming!" Syssi hurried to retrieve her phone from her purse. But by the time she fished it out, her brother's call had already gone to voice mail. And if that wasn't frustrating enough, David's salami breath assaulted her even before he bent over her shoulder to look at her screen, invading her personal space.
"Amanda said you needed my help," he breathed into her ear. "For a little smooch, I'm willing to do you a favor,” he added with a smirk, amused by his own wit.
"Cut it out, David, and move your salami breath away from me before I puke,” Syssi snapped.
David's eyes widened. "That was such a bitchy retort, so unlike our polite, proper Syssi. It was hot!" he hissed. "Nothing turns me on like a strong, assertive woman. I'll scrub my mouth with thorny roses for a kiss from you, my precious." Riding on a wave of his fetid breath, David's whispered poetic attempt did nothing but trigger Syssi's gag reflex.
"You could wash your mouth with Lysol, and I still wouldn't want it anywhere near me!"
Syssi couldn't believe it. Instead of being discouraged, he seemed even more determined.
"Look, David, I'm going to return this call, and you are going to find out what's wrong with my bloody program. Not as a favor, but because it's your job. Amanda hired you for your programming skills. It sure as hell wasn't for your charming personality!" Pushing up, she almost toppled her chair backward, forcing David to back off.
"Oh, baby, you have no idea how hot you look when you're angry." David leered but took the seat she vacated. "You want me. I know you do. That's why you're so flustered. Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll take good care of you." He winked and started scrolling through the program.
"Ugh! I'm going to strangle him!" Syssi kicked the leg of the chair he was sitting in.
Snorting, Hanna shook her head.
"It's not funny!" Syssi barked, and taking her phone walked out of the lab.
She hated confrontations. Especially futile ones like this. But at least David was going to fix her programming. Except, what would it take to fix him? For some reason, a vet with a scalpel came to mind.
Leaning against the wall, she banged her head. Today was such a shitty day, with her shortcomings and insecurities popping up like teenage zits. Just when she thought she was rid of them for good, they returned sprouting white heads. More than the confrontations themselves, she hated how ill-equipped she was to deal with them. Why the hell was it so hard for her to assert herself or show her temper?
Even now, her hands were still shaking, and she had to take a long calming breath before returning her brother's call. If Andrew detected her agitation, he would start a full-blown interrogation. And she was so not in the mood for that.
He answered on the first ring. "Hi, Syssi, how's the new job?"
"It's okay. Though I really suck at programming. Other than that, Amanda is a great boss and the work is interesting." Syssi paused before plunging. "You really should come visit. The woman is a stunner, and I would pay good money to see your jaw drop when you'll see her. The great Andrew Spivak will be speechless!"
Syssi was joking. Nothing ever fazed Andrew. But he was single and so was Amanda. Who knew what might happen if the two got together...
"You have piqued my curiosity. Though I doubt she's all that. Anyway, I spoke with Dad today."
"Yeah? How are they? What are they up to?"
Their parents were volunteering in Africa. Her mother, Dr. Anita Spivak, a retired sixty-six-year-old pediatrician, was working twelve-hour shifts in the harsh conditions of the ravaged region, providing much-needed medical care to its children. Her father, who had spent his professional career as a pharmaceutical sales rep and later as an executive, was enjoying his retirement; photographing nature and wildlife while helping his wife.
They rarely called.
Syssi wished she could blame Africa for that, but it had been nothing new. Her parents were always too busy with their careers, their social life... each other.
Andrew had been the responsible adult in their household, practically raising Syssi and their younger brother, Jacob.
Their mother had had Andrew at twenty-eight, and had given up on conceiving again when long years had gone by and nothing happened. It hadn't been a big heartbreak. Raising even one child had been difficult with her workload. Lucky for Andrew, their grandparents had stepped in and had provided the care he had needed. Syssi's arrival had been a miracle, the pregnancy taking Anita by surprise at the age of forty-two. A year later, she had been blessed again with another miracle. Jacob.
The two babies had been welcomed and loved but left mostly to the care of nannies. By the time they had arrived, their parents had been too established in their routines to make any changes for their sake.
"Dad sends their love. He says he has enough material to publish his first book, and he promised to send us the files to look through and choose the pictures we like most."
"I wonder when that will happen. You know him; lots of promises and little delivery." Syssi could not help sounding bitter. Their dad had been promising to drag their mother away from her work for a few days back home. Syssi was still waiting... two years later. She had hoped they would at least show up for her graduation, wishing they'd surprise her at the last minute. How naive of her... They never had.
"How are you doing, Andrew? Still bored at your desk job?"
It had been a while since he’d been sent away on one of his assignments abroad, and being stuck in the office usually made him stir-crazy with restlessness.
Syssi often wondered what it was that he did on his frequent trips. After retiring from a hush-hush special-ops unit, he had joined The Internal Anti-Terrorism Department—supposedly as an analyst. Why then, was he spending months at a time abroad? Doing what? Research?
"Actually, I'm swamped with work here, and truth be told, I'm tired of living out of a suitcase. I think you'll have to tolerate my annoying presence in your life for a little longer this time."
Andrew sounded happy to stay home... Intriguing... Was it possible he finally met someone?
"There must be a woman involved. I can think of no other reason for y
ou to sound so cheerful about staying put. So tell me, who is she? Did you find someone special?" Syssi asked hopefully.
Andrew chuckled. "No, there is no one special. Who's crazy enough to stick around me?"
"You're a great guy, Andrew. Someday, you'll make some lucky girl very happy."
"I doubt it."
"You'll see. I have a feeling... Soon."
When Syssi had a feeling, those who knew her listened. Her premonitions had a freakish tendency to come to pass.
"I hope you're kidding because if you're not, you are scaring the shit out of me. You know I'm not built for anything serious!"
It was funny how scared he sounded. The brave warrior afraid of being snared by some mystery woman. "Nah, just messing with you,” she lied.
"Wow! You had me there for a moment." Andrew took a deep breath and exhaled it forcefully, exaggerating his relief... Or maybe not.
"I have to let you go. I have to get back to work and deal with a pesky problem." Syssi sighed.
"Need me to come beat that problem up? I will, you know..."
"I just might take you up on that offer," Syssi answered, not sure she meant it as a joke. "Goodbye, Andrew, I'll talk to you soon."
Andrew leaned back in the swivel chair and laced his fingers behind his head. He wondered what Syssi wasn't telling him. The pesky problem was probably a guy, he smiled knowingly.
Nothing new there.
Syssi was so lovely, there would always be some poor schmuck making a pest of himself over her.
Maybe he should visit that lab after all, and not to admire the infamous Dr. Amanda Dokani.
CHAPTER 6: MARK
"To us!" Mark saluted.
Mark's team from ‘SDPD’ was celebrating their latest breakthrough at Rouges.
The local bar catered to a mixed crowd: students from nearby Stanford, young professionals from Palo-Alto, and the occasional riffraff. Most days of the week, a live band provided entertainment. Except tonight.
