by Abbi Glines
I was never leaving or giving up Reese. Not for any reason. “I understand. But that day will never come. Reese is my life. She’s my future.”
Benedetto nodded. “Good. That’s what I want to hear.”
Reese
Nonna had kept me with her all afternoon, until Raul had returned home and insisted it was his turn to hang out with me. I enjoyed my time with them, and it pushed the conversation I needed to have with my father to the back of my mind. Benedetto was still a stranger to me in so many ways. He felt powerful yet loving. I knew he was glad to have found me, but I didn’t know him the way I felt I was getting to know Nonna and Raul.
Telling him about the baby scared me. He seemed to be a very traditional man. Even though I knew he’d had sex with my mother as a fling and left me behind, he expected more from his family. How would he feel about me being pregnant and not even engaged? Would that disappoint him?
I had planned to come see him to tell him how the past had marked me. How it was hard to forgive him for leaving me with my mother. But now that didn’t seem as important. I had a baby to think of. A child I would never allow to experience the horror I had lived through. I wanted this baby protected and loved. If Mase wasn’t ready for this, I had to know that someone wanted us. That someone would take care of us.
Once dinner was over, I turned to my father. “I’d like to speak with you,” I said softly while the others still talked among themselves. Raul was telling Mase about a game of basketball he’d played last week.
Benedetto gave me a warm smile. “Of course. Let’s go to my library.”
He began to stand, and I glanced around as I did, too. Everyone was going to know we were leaving to speak alone. I didn’t mean to draw attention to the matter. Especially around Mase, who would think I was going to talk to my father about something entirely different.
“I’m stealing my daughter away so I can have some time with her. This bunch demands all her attention, but I’d like some, too. Please, enjoy a cocktail in the drawing room while we have a private moment,” Benedetto said, holding out his arm for me to take.
“You stingy old goat,” Nonna complained, but I could see the pleased look in her eyes.
I looked down at Mase and gave him a reassuring smile. I didn’t want him following us. This had to be done alone.
“If he bores you too much, remember, you can always escape by saying you aren’t feeling well. Works like a charm,” Raul called out as we left the table and headed down the hallway to the library.
“The boy thinks I believe him when he uses that excuse, too. I just know if he says he isn’t feeling well, he’s already checked out on me and isn’t listening to a word I’m saying. What’s the use in keeping him?”
I laughed. Hearing the two of them carry on with each other like this gave me hope that I could be a good parent. That I had it in my blood to be the mother my baby deserved. That one day, twenty years from now, we would be joking with each other and cherishing shared memories.
Benedetto opened the library door, and I walked inside. The smell of leather and books engulfed me, and I wanted to inhale deeply. Once books had terrified me. I hadn’t wanted to be near them for fear I’d be asked to read. Now I wanted to open every book and discover the treasures inside.
“Have a seat, and I’ll fix us a drink. Would you like a martini?”
I shook my head. “A club soda will do.”
Benedetto studied me. Instead of walking over to the bar behind two large oak doors, he stood across from me. “No drink?” he asked, watching me.
“No,” I replied.
He let out a sigh, and then a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Passerotta, you are to make me a grandfather.” He didn’t seem disappointed. He seemed . . . hopeful.
I nodded, waiting for more of a reaction.
He clapped his hands and let out a shout of laughter. “This is news to celebrate. Why did you not tell us as soon as you arrived? We could have had a celebration dessert prepared. Nonna will be tickled pink.”
“Mase doesn’t know yet,” I said, causing Benedetto’s smile to fade.
“He doesn’t know? But why haven’t you told him?”
Because . . . what if he left me? What if he wasn’t ready? “It wasn’t planned. He hasn’t even proposed. He’s not ready for this,” I said, my fears tumbling from my heart and out of my mouth.
“That man loves you, Reese. He adores you. He would take on an army for you. Why would you think he won’t rejoice over the news that you’re carrying his child?”
I sank onto the leather sofa behind me. “He says I am his future, but he never discusses it, really. A child isn’t in his plans. I’m going to tell him, but if he isn’t ready, I . . . I won’t be able to stay with him.”
Benedetto walked over and sat down across from me. “If he isn’t ready, you will come to me. Nonna, Raul, and I would make sure you and your baby want for nothing. But that won’t be the case. You will make that man the happiest on the planet when you tell him. He wants you forever, passerotta. This will be his insurance that he has you. He fears losing you even more than you fear losing him. I can see it in his eyes.”
I wanted him to be right. I wanted Mase and me to share the joy and excitement of the life we had created. If only I knew he’d feel the same way.
“Tell me you will tell him soon. Trust me. Trust him. Give him this chance to prove he loves you and that he wants this.”
“What if he feels pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to do? Like asking me to marry him? If he’d wanted to do that, he would have by now, wouldn’t he? He was raised by a mother who taught him right from wrong; I don’t want him proposing to me because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.”
Benedetto nodded his head. “That is understandable. Men sometimes have the worst timing in the world when it comes to proposals. However, you don’t have to accept his proposal if you don’t think he means it. Let him wait. When you’re sure he loves you and wants you as his wife for no reason other than he can’t live without you, then you can say yes. But not until then.”
I could do that. Just because he felt he had to propose didn’t mean I had to feel that I had to say yes. We didn’t have to be married, anyway. There wasn’t a rule book that said we had to be married to be parents.
“OK. I’ll tell him. And if he proposes, I’ll say no. For now.”
Benedetto smiled and patted my hand. “Watching you drive this boy crazy will be an endless source of entertainment for me. I hate that I will miss so much when you’re back in Texas.”
“Thank you,” I said.
His expression turned serious, and I saw something in his eyes that made my heart ache. He seemed to be in pain. “I haven’t been the father you deserved. I failed you. I’ll never forgive myself for failing you. But know that I will use the rest of my time on earth to make sure I never fail you again. I can’t change your past, passerotta. If I could, I would take it all away. But I can’t. I can only do what is in my power. And I will use every ounce of that power to ensure that your life is full of sunlight and joy from here on out.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I tried not to blink so they wouldn’t roll down my face. I didn’t have to tell him about my past. Looking into his eyes, I felt he already knew. I wasn’t sure what he knew, but he knew something. And it was enough.
Mase
It was late when Reese finally made it to the bedroom. I had struggled with the desire to check on her several times, but she had been with her father, and they needed that time together. This was her chance to heal from the anger and pain she carried toward him.
I was sitting on the end of the bed when the door opened and she walked in. Seeing the smile on her face helped ease my mind, and I jumped up and rushed over to her to make sure she was OK. “Hey,” I said, wrapping her in my arms and inhaling her sweet scent.
“Hey,” she replied. “Sorry I’m so late. We ended up talking a lot longer than I expected.�
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“About the past?” I asked, pulling back to look at her.
“Yes and no. We also talked about happy things. His childhood and how he met my mother. Things like that. Things I never knew or understood.”
“Did it help?” I wanted it to help. It would never erase her past, but I wanted her to be able to close the door on it.
“Yes. It helped a lot.” She paused, and I waited. “But that wasn’t why I wanted to talk to him. I came here for another reason.”
The touch of uncertainty and fear in her voice didn’t sit well with me. The walls she had built were about to come down, and I was scared to find out why she had built them to begin with. What did she need to talk to her father about that she couldn’t entrust to me?
“Mase, I . . . see, um, I . . .” She stopped and let out a frustrated sigh as she struggled to put words together. I watched her close her eyes tightly and inhale deeply. This wasn’t easy for her, and that terrified me. What could she possibly need to tell me that was this hard?
“Reese? Baby, whatever you have to say, I can take. I’m here. Just tell me.”
She nodded and opened her eyes to look at me again. “OK. I want you to know that this wasn’t planned, and this is not a trap. I’d never do that. I do not expect a thing. I just . . . I just need you to believe me when I say that. I don’t want you to ever think this was on purpose.”
She was rambling, and I was getting more nervous by the second.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out, and her eyes went wide, as if she couldn’t believe she’d said it out loud.
That was what she was so scared to tell me? She was going to have my baby? I stared at her in awe and let my gaze fall to her flat stomach. We had created a life, and it was inside her. She was carrying it. Our baby.
“I swear, I don’t expect a thing. If you aren’t ready for this, Benedetto said I can stay here with him. So don’t think you have to—”
“Wait, what?” I snapped my gaze back up to meet hers. “Stay with him? Why would you stay with him? We have a home. Our home. Our baby’s home. You’ll stay with me. Both of you.”
Her shoulders slumped with a sigh, and I wanted it to be one of relief. Why she thought she had to prepare for me to kick her out I had no idea. Didn’t she understand that when I said she was my future, I fucking meant she was my future?
“There’s no pressure. It happened, and it’s my fault. I forgot to take a pill that day that . . . Marco came. I took two the next day when I realized it, but apparently, that didn’t work. I don’t want you to think you have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
This woman was having my baby, and I worshipped the ground she walked on. How in God’s name did she think I’d feel pressured to do anything when it came to her? I loved doing things for her. “Reese, baby, I love you. I don’t say those words easily. When I tell you that I love you and you’re my world, I mean it. They aren’t words that I just throw around. You’ve given me your heart, and I thought you’d given me your trust, too. Apparently, I don’t have all of you yet, and that’s my fault. I failed somehow. I haven’t made sure you know just how important you are to me. You’re having my baby, Reese. The woman I love is carrying my baby inside of her. Do you know how fucking thrilled I am right now? You are mine.” I walked over and put my hand on her stomach. “This is mine. And I’m not ever letting go of either of you.”
Reese laid her head on my chest and let out a small sob. I cradled her against me. She was so scared of people turning on her, but she expected it. From everyone. Except Benedetto. She’d trusted him. She had told him. How did he get the trust that I didn’t have? What did he do right that I had done wrong?
When I picked up the ring I had found last week and was having resized, I would prove to her that she had me. Hell, she’d had me the morning she sang off key and shook her ass in my face. I hadn’t realized it then, but she’d had me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. It was just a surprise to me, and I wasn’t sure how you would react. I didn’t want to force anything on you.”
I cupped her face in my hands. “In this life, you will always be my number one priority. Your happiness is my goal. Never doubt me again. Promise me that,” I said, needing to know that next time, she’d come to me. Not her father.
She nodded. “OK. I promise.”
I kissed her lips gently. I wanted to get her naked and inspect every inch of her body to see if it had changed. Were her hips wider and I hadn’t noticed? Did her stomach show any signs? Were her breasts tender?
“I need you to do something for me,” I told her, reluctantly letting go of her mouth.
“What?” she asked breathlessly.
“Get naked. Let me explore and see if I can find any changes,” I said with a grin I couldn’t wipe off my face.
She blushed. “Are you serious?”
I nodded. “Very.”
I could see the arousal in her eyes as she watched me. She liked the idea of me touching her everywhere. Paying extra attention to areas she loved me to kiss.
“I’ll give those sensitive nipples special attention,” I promised as I slid my hands to the waistline of her skirt.
“Oh?” she asked, leaning into me.
“Mm-hmm. Any other tender place that needs my expertise?” I asked, cupping her ass in my hands.
“Ahhh . . . yes.” She arched into me.
“Then let’s get you undressed and find out just where I need to kiss. This could take hours.”
Reese lifted her hands into the air and gazed up at me. All that trust in her eyes made me want to beat my chest and roar. This was my woman. I’d never let her down.
Reese
When we left Chicago, Nonna was already knitting a baby blanket. My father had been right. She was ecstatic. Raul had also been thrilled. He kept referring to himself as Uncle Raul for the rest of our stay. But after three days, I knew we needed to get home and tell Mase’s parents.
Mase had become overprotective. I kept assuring him that I could walk around and I didn’t have to rest yet—I wasn’t even showing. I really hoped I wouldn’t get morning sickness, because I wasn’t sure he could handle it.
He was also anxious to get me back to the doctor so he could go, too. He had a million questions I didn’t have the answers to. The one thing he never mentioned was marriage. I was torn about that. I hadn’t wanted him to propose because he thought he had to, but then his not even mentioning it worried me, too. I convinced myself that it was my pregnancy hormones and I had nothing to worry about. Even if he never asked me to marry him, he wanted me. He wanted both of us. I didn’t have to wear his ring or have his last name to be his.
Getting home and telling his parents was our first priority. Maryann brought over a chocolate cream pie, and I made a pot of coffee. I could see the unease in his stepfather’s eyes and the excitement in his mother’s. I wanted him to just blurt it out and get it over with. I wanted them to be happy, but I worried they’d feel I was trapping Mase. That was my biggest concern.
“Thanks for coming and bringing the pie. It’s been a long day of traveling, and Reese needed to rest,” Mase said. I shot him a frustrated frown. He made me sound like a wimp. The reason they were here was that he insisted I get comfortable and relax.
“We never get invited over. This is a treat,” Maryann said, smiling at me brightly. She was so excited about being here that I felt guilty for not inviting her over more often. I needed to make it a point to have them over more.
“I’m ready for some pie,” Charlie piped up. “Let’s talk and eat. She wouldn’t let me touch it before we got here.”
Maryann rolled her eyes and slapped her husband’s shoulder. “You’re being rude. They have to tell us something.”
Charlie shrugged. “Well, they aren’t gettin’ to the point. When y’all getting married? There. Now, let’s have some pie.”
I froze. I couldn’t breathe, and I felt sick to my stomach. I hadn’t expected the
m to think we had news. Telling Mase had been too easy. They weren’t going to be happy about me being pregnant if we weren’t married.
Mase slipped his arm around my waist and squeezed me. He was watching my reaction. He could read me well. This was his way of reassuring me, but it wasn’t working. I wasn’t reassured. I was terrified.
“We’re going to have a baby,” Mase said, with pride in his voice. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide. Charlie stared at me, and Maryann clapped her hands and squealed.
“I knew it! I knew it!” she said excitedly. I moved my gaze from Charlie to Maryann and saw pure joy in her expression. Air eased into my burning lungs. At least his mother was happy.
“Doing this a little backward, aren’t you, son?” Charlie finally spoke up. Those were the words I’d feared.
Mase’s grip on my waist tightened. “I was unaware that I had to do this in some order. I’m an adult. This is my life.”
“Charlie, this is wonderful news. We knew they’d get married. So what if the baby came before the proposal?”
Oh, God. I was going to throw up. He’d never mentioned a proposal. She was assuming something that wasn’t in the works.
“He moved her in here without proposing. He’s had plenty of time. Haven’t you, Mase? It’s a shame this poor girl has to be treated like this. Thought I raised you better.”
My knees felt weak. If Mase hadn’t been holding me up, I wasn’t sure I’d still be standing. His stepdad was saying everything that had been haunting me and confronting Mase with it. Would this send him running? Change his mind?
“I moved her in with me because I couldn’t live without her. My intentions have always been to spend the rest of my life with her. I was just taking this one step at a time.”
“And you got those steps all screwed up,” Charlie said. “Your momma can be excited, but I’m thinking of the big picture here. That girl deserves to have a ring on her finger if she’s having a baby. She needs that security. You had a single mother for the first few years of your life. You know better than anyone how important it is to be the man your kid deserves. Fix this.” His words sounded like a demand.
