The Trophy of Champions
Page 4
‘It will be Death Ball,’ Granny replied confidently, ‘mark my words. I’ve seen enough of these barbaric games to know how it works. No organiser would be daft enough to start with a soft event like Plank Diving. The spectators would tear him to shreds.’
As the line of sleepy animals neared the wooden tower, the chimes of the bell were replaced by the booming voice of Baron Gustave.
‘Please proceed to ze Death Ball arena immediately,’ he shouted from the top of the swaying tower. ‘All ticket holders are asked to take zeir allocated seats in ze grandstands. Sea Dogs and Pie Rats are to report to ze dressing rooms at once. Ze first pool game will commence in thirty minutes.’
Granny Rat grinned with satisfaction. ‘Told you so …’
The southern dressing room of the Death Ball arena was nothing more than a rectangular hole dug under the grandstands. Several frosted glass lanterns hung from the roof, providing dim light for the competitors. The Pie Rats sat on a long bench against one wall, watching their coach hobbling around the centre of the room. Rat Bait stood with his arms crossed and his back to a closed door.
‘Here,’ Horace whispered, passing Whisker a small yellow card. ‘You might want to brush up on your Death Ball rules.’
‘You’ll notice a few differences to the jungle version of the game,’ Horace explained as Whisker ran his eye down the list, ‘most noticeably the length of matches. Each half runs for thirty minutes and is measured by an hourglass – not a sundial. Due to the brutality of the matches, penalty shootouts replace any extra time.’
‘Sixty minutes is still a long time to survive a Sea Dog pounding,’ Pete grimaced.
‘Speaking of those slobber-ridden dogs,’ Granny Rat said, ‘do we have any inside information on them?’
‘They be the reignin’ Cup champions an’ competition favourites,’ Rat Bait replied, avoiding eye contact with the fiery coach. ‘More bark than bite if ye ask me. Them two poodles, Tuffy an’ Fluffy, will only pick on smaller folk than themselves.’
‘Like me,’ Horace muttered, attaching a tightly strung racket to the end of his golden stump.
‘Err … I s’pose,’ Rat Bait mumbled. ‘That wee terrier’s a harmless ball o’ fur, though. They call him The Kid. And the three-legged Pug, Biscuit, he’s a pushover. As for the Beagle, Scallywag Sam, well, he’s only interested in entertainin’ the crowd.’
Granny rat hobbled over to the wall and drew a large circle with a piece of chalk.
‘Those despicable dogs will get most of the crowd balls,’ she said, filling the circle with names and symbols. ‘Make it your priority to keep the ball in play. Your opposition will be good for short bursts but they’ll tire by the end of each half. Run them ragged if you can and then strike when their tongues are dragging on the ground.’
She turned and studied the faces of the Pie Rat team, paying particular attention to Horace and Whisker.
‘This might seem like a warm-up game for some of you,’ she scoffed, ‘but I can’t stress enough the importance of Death Ball victories in the bigger scheme of things. A pool-game victory is worth nearly as much as an event win if two teams are tied at the end of the tournament.’
She glared in Rat Bait’s direction. ‘My first Pirate Cup team lost their opening pool game and it cost them the competition. If I’m to have any hope of winning the cup this time around, I’ll need a strong start from every one of you the moment you step onto that field.’
‘Talk about pressure,’ Horace whispered to Whisker. ‘It’s hard enough living up to the expectations of three perfect sisters without adding Granny Rat to the mix.’
Whisker let out a deep sigh. ‘Welcome to the Pirate Cup.’
There was a muffled trumpet blast from outside.
‘That’s your cue,’ Granny Rat exclaimed. ‘Now get out there and do us proud!’
Surrounded by an ocean of blue and white-clad supporters, the Pie Rats made their way onto the field. Huge, striped flags fluttered in the morning breeze like the sails of a racing regatta. Spectators jeered and hissed, pelting the rats with half-chewed pie crusts and soggy dog biscuits.
Shielding his head from the flying projectiles, Whisker glimpsed Horace’s family sitting directly behind the reserve bench dressed in red, black and gold.
‘Hi, Whisker,’ chimed the three sisters, waving gold handkerchiefs and blowing kisses.
Whisker gave them an awkward wave and tried not to blush.
‘Groupies …’ Ruby muttered, pushing past him to the centre of the field.
From a velvet-seated commentary box in the first row, Baron Gustave introduced a large blue-and-yellow Macaw named Chatterbeak as the game’s official commentator. The flamboyant parrot puffed up his feathers and squawked excitedly, ‘Madness, madness, hold onto your hats, here come the reigning Cup champions …’
The reception for the Sea Dogs was almost deafening. Energised by the welcome, the dogs bounded out of the tunnel and sprinted around the perimeter of the field, sparking a Mexican wave.
After several whistles from a white rabbit in a striped referee’s shirt, the dogs finally stopped their frivolous display and trotted over to the reserve bench. Panting and slobbering, they gulped down great mouthfuls of water from a line of blue water bowls.
An angry-looking poodle with a bone through her nose and a mohawk shaved into her head made her way towards Whisker on the left wing. Judging by her rough appearance and skull-and-crossbones tattoos, Whisker guessed she was Tuffy.
‘You’re mincemeat,’ she growled, taking her place opposite him.
Whisker decided it was safest not to respond and waited for the opening bounce. The referee brought the hard rubber ball forward, and with the flip of an hourglass, the game was underway.
‘Caw, caw,’ Chatterbeak squawked. ‘Look at that leap! The Kid out-jumps Ruby for the ball and the dogs have first possession … Right step, left step. Smokin’ jalapenos he’s quick … Here comes Fish Eye Fred with a flying tackle – and crunch time, The Kid goes down …
There was a loud BOO from the crowd.
‘Skraww, skraww,’ Chatterbeak shrilled, flapping his feathers excitedly. ‘Whisker scoops up the ball in his tail and passes to Horace on the right wing. WHAM BAM! What a racket pass to full forward … Captain Black Rat makes contact with his foot … The ball is on its way … Fluffy soars through the air … Dog and ball collide … Coooeee! It’s a fluff-fest. The goal is saved by a perm.’
The spectators roared with delight. Fluffy hurled the ball into the crowd before the Captain could attempt a second shot.
‘… And the ball is back in play,’ Chatterbeak screeched. ‘Bartholomew Brawl receives a short pass from Sam and takes off down the centre of the field … Wait a minute, folks. Something is happening. I haven’t seen this before, but Brawl is wedging the ball into his … mouth?’
There was a startled gasp from the crowd.
Ruby threw her paws in the air and howled in protest, ‘It’s a penalty offence. Send the cheat off!’
The referee, as equally baffled as the spectators, looked to Gustave for a response. Gustave gestured to an extended list of rules on the commentary table.
‘Brittle birdseed!’ Chatterbeak exclaimed, peering down at the list. ‘According to the rules, it’s perfectly legal for players to carry the ball in their mouths, as long as it remains visible at all times.’ He pointed his wing at Brawl’s powerful jaws. ‘With chompers like those, I doubt anyone will get the ball out!’
Ruby stamped her foot in frustration. Bartholomew Brawl growled with satisfaction and took off towards the goal. With his four legs free for running, he barged through Whisker and Horace like a runaway stagecoach.
The Sea Dog captain continued his charge, colliding with Fred in the goal box. As the two of them tumbled to the ground, Brawl spat out the ball and Scallywag Sam sent it spinning through the goal.
The crowd leapt to their feet and cheered in jubilation.
‘One-nil,’ Chatterbeak announced. ‘
The Sea Dogs take the early lead.’
The rest of the first half continued in a similar fashion. The Sea Dogs used their strong jaws to carry the ball from one end of the field to the other and, despite their determined efforts, the Pie Rats were unable to wrench it free. Frustrated to be cursed with such insignificant jaws, incapable of holding even the smallest of Death Balls, the rats had to wait until late in the period before they could mount a comeback.
Winning the centre bounce, Ruby ran in circles around the tired dogs and eventually passed the ball to the Captain, who scored in the top right corner of the goal. When the half-time whistle sounded moments later, the Pie Rats were down five goals to one.
Snapping and snarling at their opposition, the thirsty dogs trotted over to their water bowls and quickly drained the contents. The Pie Rats trudged off the field with slumped shoulders and downcast frowns and sat in a sombre line on the bench.
‘Not the start we were looking for,’ Horace said gloomily, lowering his water flask. ‘We’re helpless against Bartholomew make-up-your-own-rules Brawl. He’s got the jaws of a crocodile and the ferocity of a charging rhino.’
Granny Rat looked down the line of long faces and pointed to her bonnet. ‘Use your brains, you thick-skulled sardines. Fight fire with fire! If Brawl’s twisting the rules then twist them back again. Surely one of you nincompoops can think up a cunning plan to get us out of this mess.’
In unison, all eyes flashed to Whisker, the go-to rat in desperate situations. With his water flask to his lips, Whisker almost choked on a mouthful of water.
He coughed and spluttered for some time before pointing to the water dribbling down the side of his mouth.
‘Granny’s right,’ he gasped. ‘We’ll have to fight fire with fire …’
‘What on earth are you talking about?’ Pete exclaimed. ‘You’re not a lava spitting dragon!’
Wasting no time on an explanation, Whisker turned to the row of spectators behind the reserve bench. Horace’s three sisters fluttered their eyelashes and puckered their lips, trying to win his attention. Whisker smiled politely and forced himself to stay focused.
‘Mama Kolina,’ he said with an air of urgency, ‘I have a small favour to ask.’
‘Yes, of course, my dear boy,’ she replied. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘If it’s not too much trouble,’ Whisker said, removing a gold coin from his drawstring bag. ‘I’d like to order some half-time refreshments for our thirsty opponents.’ He leant closer, handing the coin to Mama Kolina and whispered his request in her ear.
‘Certainly, Whisker,’ Mama Kolina said with a broad grin. ‘I’ll rustle up your order at once. Is there anything else you require?’
Whisker glanced across at the Sea Dog’s bench.
‘Well,’ he said, a little embarrassed, ‘there is one other thing we could use: a charming young waitress – preferably dressed in blue.’
‘Of course,’ Mama Kolina laughed, putting her arm around her youngest daughter. ‘My charming Aphrodite looks fabulous in blue and she has packed every dress she owns.’
Old Dogs, New Tricks
As the half-time break drew to a close, Mama Kolina shuffled into the stadium with the rest of the spectators. Slightly out of breath, she squeezed into her seat and handed Whisker a small wicker basket.
‘Thanks,’ he whispered, peering over the rim at six tiny red pods.
‘The rest of the refreshments are on their way,’ she panted. ‘The line at the tavern was so long I thought we would miss the second half.’
As Whisker handed each of his teammates one of the red pods, he noticed Aphrodite moving down an aisle with a large wooden bucket in her paws. She looked prettier than ever in her sky-blue dress, white apron and elegant drop earrings, and it was no surprise that wolf-whistles echoed from both sides of the crowd.
She reached the dogs’ reserve bench as the last grains of sand fell through the half-time hourglass.
‘Yoo hoo, Mr Brawl,’ she called out in an innocent voice. ‘I’m such a huge fan. Have you got a moment?’
The Sea Dogs were already making their way onto the field, but Bartholomew Brawl stopped in his tracks when he heard her sweet voice.
‘Hello, li’l lady!’ he exclaimed, wagging his tail excitedly. ‘I’d love to chat with an adoring fan, but I’m kinda busy winnin’ right now.’
‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Of course you are. I don’t mean to hold you up, but I noticed your drinking bowls are all empty.’ She held up her bucket. ‘It would be an honour to fill them up for you. I’d hate for you to be thirsty during the second half.’
‘Mighty kind of you, luv,’ Brawl replied. ‘You can fill up my bowl any time you want.’
Aphrodite giggled. ‘Good luck, Mr Brawl, I hope you have a scorching second half.’
Lingering on the Pie Rats’ bench, Whisker was glad Bartholomew Brawl hadn’t picked up Aphrodite’s cryptic message or noticed the Pie Rats smearing their paws with sticky red juice and tiny white seeds.
‘Are we all set?’ Granny Rat asked impatiently as Aphrodite finished filling up the bowls.
‘Aye, Mother,’ the Captain said, throwing the remains of his pod under the bench. ‘Thanks to our bright young apprentice, we might just pull off the biggest upset in Death Ball history.’
The whistle blew and the second half action commenced.
‘Caw, caw,’ Chatterbeak squawked, ‘here we go again. Ruby wins first possession with a well-timed leap and the Pie Rats have the ball in the midfield … She plays it safe and passes back to Whisker. Whisker spins the ball to Horace. Horace throws a high lob to Fred. Now Black Rat’s got a piece of it – miles from his goal. Tickle me tail feathers, folks. The Pie Rats are really sharing the ball around.’
There were shouts of ‘boring’ and ‘hurry up and smash ‘em’ from several Sea Dog supporters in the crowd.
‘Patience, patience! Here’s a chance for the Sea Dogs,’ Chatterbeak chirped. ‘The Captain is sandwiched between Tuffy and Sam and the ball flies free. Tuffy scoops up the ball in her mouth and dashes down the sideline … Wait a minute, folks. She’s dropped the ball cold.’
Tuffy let out an enormous howl and made a beeline for the reserve bench. Scallywag Sam picked up the ball in his mouth but dropped it before he’d even taken his first step. With similar yelps and howls, he followed Tuffy in the direction of the drinking bowls.
‘… And The Kid is on the charge,’ Chatterbeak screeched. ‘He sidesteps Ruby … Slippery sardines! He’s dropped the ball as well … Oh no! He’s frothing at the mouth … He’s calling for a substitute. Poor Biscuit doesn’t know who to replace.’
While the rest of the dogs fell like flies, the enraged Sea Dog captain barged past Ruby and dived on the ball. He only made it as far as the midfield before the ball tumbled from his mouth and he began howling like a hyena.
‘Awoo, awoo! It burns, it burns! My tongue is on fire. My mouth is meltin’. Water, I need water!’
He leapt towards the reserve bench and, ignoring the frantic barks from the three other dogs, began guzzling from his water bowl. The whites of his eyes turned redder than an over-ripe tomato.
‘AWOOOOOO!’ he bellowed. ‘Hot-Chilli Cola! Call the fire brigade, I’m about to ignite …’
With no relief in sight, the four howling dogs dashed out of the stadium in the direction of the waterhole.
‘Skraww, skraww!’ Chatterbeak prattled as the sound of the dogs died away. ‘What a turn of events. But back to the action, folks, the Pie Rats have just scored …’
With only a fluffy white poodle and a three-legged dog in their way, the Pie Rats scored seven unanswered goals to win the game eight-five.
‘As Frankie Belorio always says, It’s a game of two halves,’ Horace declared as the triumphant Pie Rats filed into the dressing room with their small group of supporters.
‘A half with red-hot chillies and a half without,’ Whisker laughed, brushing the last of the chilli seeds from his paws.
‘How did I do, Whisker?’ she asked, squeezing him tightly.
Overwhelmed by the strong smell of her perfume, Whisker felt his eyes glazing over.
‘Say what …?’ he answered in a trance.
From across the room, Ruby let out a loud huff and began clanging around with her swords. Aphrodite paid her no attention and nestled her head into Whisker’s shoulder.
‘We make a great team, don’t we, Whisker?’ she whispered.
‘Sure – Aphrodite,’ he replied, gasping for fresh air.
Aphrodite simply hugged him tighter.
‘Err – do you mind?’ he said, uncomfortably. ‘Your earring’s digging into my neck.’
‘Oh,’ she said, pulling away. ‘Sorry.’ She moved her paw to her diamond-shaped earring and gave it a little flick. The rose-coloured stone sparkled in the lantern light.
‘It’s a pretty little diamond, isn’t it?’ she said dreamily.
‘Sure,’ Whisker replied, his head still spinning, ‘but aren’t diamonds supposed to be clear?’
‘Most diamonds are,’ Aphrodite stated, ‘but these are rare Freeforian pink diamonds. They once belonged to my grandmother –’
‘– and they now belong to me,’ Hera snapped. ‘You’re only wearing them because of your silly little Death Ball stunt. If you’re finished playing half-time heroine, you can hand them back over.’
Aphrodite spun around and glared at her elder sister. ‘It’s so unfair! You always get the good jewellery. I get nothing but second-rate sapphires and tacky opals …’
Whisker tuned out as the two sisters began one of their regular arguments. Athena seized her opportunity and jumped in where Aphrodite left off with Whisker.
‘As a point of interest,’ she said knowledgeably, Freeforia is known as the Diamond Isle. No diamonds have been found there for many years, of course, but that hardly matters, with the new gold mine in operation.’ She opened up a small purse and took out a gold coin. Its surface was engraved with two paws surrounded by a diamond.