by Gia Riley
I do as he says and once we’re at eye level, he kisses me hard on the mouth. But as hard as I try, I’m reminded it’s not Kipton’s tongue asking for permission to enter. When I open my eyes to stop him, it’s like a cold bucket of water was poured directly over my head. Caleb’s eyes are lust filled, ready to take our connection to the next level. All I can focus on is Kipton watching me from the stool at the Tiki bar—his date suddenly absent.
“Caleb, put me down. I need a breather.” I’m mortified I let things get so out of control with a guy I can’t even stand most of the time. He sets me on my feet, not releasing me from his grasp entirely.
“Let’s go up to my room, baby.” He pulls up the hem of my tank top to touch more of my stomach. I look into his eyes and blink slowly as I comprehend his invitation. We get pushed farther into the crowd right as one of Kipton’s girls return to his side. He pulls her in between his legs and kisses her on the lips with enough force to almost knock her over. She reaches out and braces herself against his shoulders. His fingers are splayed across her lower back and the sight of the two of them makes my stomach churn.
Remembering Caleb’s offer, I answer easily. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s go.” Without a word, Caleb leads me through the mass of bodies to the staircase. Each step takes me further and further away from the guy I truly want. The one who sets my body on fire from one simple look. I’m not paying attention and bump into Cara halfway up the stairs. She pulls me aside, letting Caleb continue to the top.
“What are you doing, Sophie?”
“Hanging out with Caleb.”
“Don’t do this. You’ll regret it,” she warns.
“It’s not like I have any other options tonight.” I’m letting my anger win.
Cara huffs and rolls her eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it, Sophie. I don’t get this cat and mouse game you and Kipton are playing, but it needs to stop. Now!”
“Come on, babe.” Caleb reaches for my hand and pulls me up the last few steps before leading me down the hallway.
“Don’t you even fucking try it, Sophie.”
Frozen in place, I drop Caleb’s hand. When I turn around, I’m met with a smiling Cara and a fuming Kipton. “Come on, Caleb. Let’s go have a drink.” Cara pushes Caleb back downstairs before he can cause a scene. He’s obviously had a few drinks already because he goes willingly, looking at Cara like she’s his new conquest. Cara won’t put up with any of his bullshit and will have him safely parked next to the keg in no time.
Wearily, I chance a peek at Kipton. “Where are your dates? One girl not enough for you these days?”
Showing little emotion he replies, “Emily’s downstairs with her friend.”
I nod my head. Emily. I hate that name. “That’s nice. Shouldn’t you be using her as your personal shot glass?”
“Jealous?” he questions.
Damn right I’m jealous. You’re mine! “Nope.” I pop the p for added effect.
“You sure about that, beautiful?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
His admission makes me want him even more. “Because you had your mouth all over Emily’s.”
He takes a step closer, pinning me against the wall. “You know damn well whose mouth I want, Sophie.” I look away, suddenly needing more air than he’s allowing me to breathe.
“Whatever.” I try to squeeze out from his intense hold, but he moves right along with me. Each time I try to escape, he matches my every move. Walking backwards, I realize I’m out of room to run. The only place left for me to go is in his bedroom. Sliding around the door jam, I find myself in a familiar situation. Only this time, I’m sober. We stand rooted in the middle of his room in a standoff of sorts. The sexual energy is charged and ready to detonate at any moment.
“Are you done running yet, Sophie?”
“Who said I’m running?” He takes a step closer, and I counter with a step back. We keep this up until I’m trapped against his closet door.
He runs his knuckle down my cheek. “You’re always running. Please stop fighting us, Sophie.” Picking me up around my waist, he deposits me on his bed—never breaking eye contact. “I want you so fucking bad. I can’t get you out of my head.”
“What about Emily?”
“She’s not you, Sophie. You’re the one I want. I never should have kissed her and I’m sorry I did, especially in front of you. You didn’t deserve to see that no matter how mad I was.”
Yes. I want him too. We’re grasping at each other’s shirts, lost in the moment. His kisses taste like shots of whiskey mixed with the cinnamon from his gum. It’s all man. Reluctantly, I pull my mouth away from his. “I’m sorry, too, Kipton. I kissed him.”
“I’ll break his lips later, just kiss me, beautiful.” His name tumbles out of my mouth over and over as I moan against his lips. He sucks on my neck sending shockwaves pulsating throughout my body. His shirt is off before I have time to even ask him to remove it. Running my needy hands over his naked back, there’s a knock on the door.
“Kipton, are you in there?” It’s Emily.
Quickly, I pull my shirt down to cover my boobs and adjust my skirt. I use the ponytail holder around my wrist to fix my sexed up hair. It’s knotted up from Kipton’s fingers mixed with the sweat from dancing. “I should go.”
“No. Stay. I’ll tell her to leave.”
“I got carried away, I’m sorry.” I catch my breath and move towards the door.
“Let me guess, this was a mistake.”
Not again. Spinning around, I shout at him with every ounce of anger built up inside me. “Will you stop fucking saying that,” I cry. “I’m not a mistake,” tumbles from my lips barely above a whisper.
“I know you’re not, Sophie.”
Needing air, I pull open the door and come face-to-face with Emily. If looks could kill, I’d be dead. “Why are you in here? Where is he?” she asks.
I don’t bother acknowledging her presence as I step around her and into the hallway.
“Did you just sleep with that girl?” Emily questions.
“Not tonight, but I have. And her name’s Sophie.”
She glances at me before kicking the door shut in my face. I flinch as it slams before sinking to the hardwood floor. Resting my head in my hands, I blew it—again. The thought of him being alone with her makes me queasy. Desperately, I want to run back into his room, begging him not to touch her. Instead I envision him naked, thrusting inside her. It sends me over the edge.
Hurrying into the bathroom, I splash cold water on my face. Still lightheaded, it’s not enough to erase the pain. And although I haven’t eaten anything since the last time, I make myself throw up. Desperately needing to right a wrong—both of our wrongs, I gag painfully. With nothing to expel, all that’s in the toilet is some bile mixed with blood. More blood.
Sobbing, I cry for not being strong enough to fight for the guy I want, and for being stupid enough to believe I was capable of having a real relationship. I warned him I was too fucked up—too broken by my past. But he wouldn’t listen. Instead, he kept pushing for more even after I assured him I wasn’t capable of anything even close. He made me need him and now that I do, it’s too late.
My phone vibrates with an incoming text.
Cara: You okay?
Sophie: No. In the bathroom upstairs.
Cara: On my way.
Knowing I need to get my shit together before Cara sees me, I rummage through the cabinets until I locate some mouth wash. Gargling, I spit it out as the burn of the alcohol on my already angry mouth stings terribly. The room tilts sideways before it spins. I sit down on the small rug in front of the shower to get my bearings. I hear Cara knock on the door, but I can’t get up to let her in.
It’s not locked so she opens it herself and rushes to my side. “Sophie, are you okay?”
“Dizzy. I’m okay.”
“Let me help you up.” She takes my hand and pulls me to a standin
g position. I’m weary, swaying back and forth slightly.
“I want to go home, Cara.”
“Okay. Can you walk?”
“I’m not sure.” There’s no way I can walk the entire way back to the dorm.
“Hang on. I’ll get Kipton’s keys. I only had half a beer. I’m fine to drive.”
“No! Don’t bother him. He’s probably busy.”
Laughing at me, she says, “he has it coming.” She doesn’t bother knocking, instead she tries the knob. When she finds it locked, she kicks the door repeatedly with her boot until Kipton answers the obnoxious banging. It doesn’t do any favors for my already throbbing head.
“What the hell are you doing, Cara?”
Peeking through the space between the bathroom door and the door frame, I’m able to see Kipton. Although his shirt’s still off, his pants are on. Sighing in relief and holding onto a sliver of hope, I duck my head, tears leaking from my eyes. I did this to myself. I pushed him to her.
Cara scoffs at him and gets right to the point. “Give me your keys; I need to drive Sophie home. And put your shirt back on.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re not a man whore.” She spins on her heel, but he grabs her shoulder before she gets away.
“No. Why do you need my keys?”
“She’s not feeling well.”
“Again? Where is she?” he questions.
“Give me your damn keys, please.”
Kipton’s about to hand them over to her, but pauses. “Are you okay to drive? Were you drinking?”
“I’m fine. Only had half a beer,” she assures him. She grabs the keys from his hand and rushes back to me. “Okay, Sophie. We can go. Let me help you back up.”
My heart is racing, but it’s not from the site of Kipton. “Cara, my chest.” Before I hear her response, I’m reaching out to grab the sink. I can see Kipton’s silhouette in the doorway, watching me closely. “It’s tight and pounding.”
“Sophie, what’s wrong?” he asks.
“I need to go home.” My chest is so tight. I clutch at my throat, rubbing my skin.
“Kipton, baby. Come back to bed,” Emily purrs. She’s wearing his shirt and nothing else. The site alone makes me want to gag all over again. She looks exactly like one of my dad’s trashy sluts.
Kipton does a double take of her and looks livid. “Where are your clothes, Emily? It’s time for you to leave.”
I stare in horror between the two of them. Kipton stands in front of me, forcing me to look at him. “This isn’t at all what it looks like, beautiful. I didn’t—I wouldn’t.”
I need to get away from Emily before I scratch her eyes out. Bracing myself against the wall, I use it for support as I walk down the hallway. With Cara’s help, I’m able to make it to the kitchen. But before I can get outside to the car, Kipton’s by my side.
“You know me, Sophie. I’m not that guy anymore. You’re what I want. Not Emily or anyone else.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. It would be so easy to believe him. But the truth is, I’m not sure I do. “Goodnight,” I whisper. With my heart in pieces, I walk to the car where Cara’s waiting to take me home.
“You okay?” Cara asks on the drive to the dorm.
That’s a loaded question. “I will be.”
Back in the dorm, Cara makes sure I’m safely tucked in my bed before she excuses herself to see Drew. “I’ll be right back. I just want to make sure he knows what’s up in case Emily or Kipton come back here. I doubt she would have the guts to, but you never know with my brother.”
“Take your time, I’m okay.” I toss around to get comfortable, hoping to fall asleep so Cara doesn’t feel obligated to babysit me, but my phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Are you okay?” Kipton.
“I’m fine. I’m going to bed.” Pulling the phone away from my ear, I’m about to hang up when I hear his desperate plea.
“Sophie, wait.”
I’m too tired to play games, but I answer him anyway because part of me is thrilled he bothered to call me in the first place. “What?”
“I didn’t sleep with her.”
Am I supposed to believe that? They were both practically naked. “I don’t care either way, Kipton.”
“I know you care because I felt the same way when I saw you with Caleb.” He sighs into the receiver. “Jesus, Sophie. What are we doing?”
“I dunno? You tell me.”
“I swear I didn’t have sex with her.”
“You were in there with the door shut and she came out wearing your clothes, Kipton. How do you explain that?”
He sighs and continues his explanation. “We sat on my bed and I told her all about you. She’s jealous, Sophie. Really fucking jealous. That’s why she came out in my T-shirt. She took her own clothes off and took that shirt out of the wash basket. I didn’t touch her, I swear to you.”
I know all about jealousy. It’s what caused me to seek revenge in the first place. “I believe you.”
“You do?” He sounds surprised he didn’t have to fight harder to convince me. We were both acting like such jackasses tonight.
“Yeah. I do.”
He sighs again. “Are you in bed, beautiful?”
“Yes.”
“God, I want to be with you right now. Please say yes, Sophie.”
He has no idea how much I want him to hold me in his arms right now. “I want to. More than you know.”
“Then say the words and end this.”
“I think we did enough damage for one night. Maybe we can start fresh tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“Cara’s back. I should go. Good night, Kipton.”
“Night, beautiful,” he whispers.
I pray sleep takes me to my dreams quickly because I need Kipton.
MAYBE I’M A FOOL, BUT I’m willing to wait Sophie out and give her the time she needs. Space is a different issue entirely. I can’t promise not to keep trying. I’m a persistent man when I know what I want and I want Sophie. From the tone of her voice on the phone, I thought she was about to break down and give up her fight.
Desperately wanting to help her, I have no idea where to begin. Maybe I could if I knew what was holding her back in the first place. She’s obviously scared, I get that. I just need to know why. Everyone has a past and I’d never hold hers against her, or run from it.
The minutes continue to tick by on the clock, as her words continue to eat away at me. I’m about to get up to find a bottle of Jack when my phone pings with an incoming text. Calls this time of night usually aren’t good, so I’m praying Cara’s safe. Unless it’s Emily. I doubt I’ve heard the last from her. When Sophie’s name appears, I’m not sure if I should rejoice or worry.
Sophie: Kipton.
Kipton: Hey beautiful.
Sophie: I’m sorry.
Kipton: For what?
Sophie: Everything.
I have to see her regardless of the direction this conversation takes, so I climb out of bed and find a pair of clean sweats and a shirt. When I go to grab my keys off the key hook, it hits me my car is at the dorm. Shit. Not wanting to lose her while she’s willing to talk, I text Sophie back while I figure out what to do. Unsure of exactly the right words to say, I decide to go for the truth. I could very well scare her off, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take. Her apologizing is a big deal and I’m hopeful we’re making progress despite everything that went down.
Kipton: I miss you.
Sophie: I miss you too. I messed up.
Fuck it. I’ll run the entire way to her dorm if I have to. I jam my feet into my sneakers, not even bothering to undo the laces. Those precious seconds I need to save. Bounding down the stairs, I’m ready to get my girl. But when I open the front door, I freeze.
“Hey.”
“Sophie. How did you get here? What are you doing here?” I shut the door behind me and move closer to her, still keeping enough distance between
us so she doesn’t run.
“I drove your car. I probably should have gotten your permission first, or told Cara I was taking it, but I needed to see you. Please don’t be mad.”
“Beautiful, I could give two shits about my damn car right now. All I care about is that you’re here.” Before I can say anything else, she breaks down and sobs into her hands. Her shoulders shake under the exertion of her emotions. “Come here, baby.” Without any coaxing, she willingly runs into my open arms holding on to me for dear life. Her small fists are filled with the fabric of my shirt, stretching it tightly across my back. I hold onto her, afraid she might change her mind at any second. I have no idea what made her come here, but I’m thankful she ran to me this time instead of away.
I let her cry for as long as she needs—until she’s able to talk. When she shivers from the cooler night air, I risk speaking. “Sophie, will you come inside with me?”
“Yes.” She sniffles and wipes her tears with her sleeve, but doesn’t let go of me entirely. I’m more than okay with that. “Were you asleep?” She softly asks.
“No. I was staring at the ceiling thinking about you.”
“You were?” Her surprise is shining in her big blue eyes.
“Pathetic, huh?” She shakes her head no and I smile. “Is it okay if we go to my room? It’s still a mess down here from the party.”
“That’s fine.” She holds onto my arm until we get to the stairs. She lets go of me reluctantly, but I keep my hands on her the entire way up.
Inside my room the mood shifts the second I close the door. Before I can even contemplate what to say first, she’s on me. Assuming she needs me as much as I have missed her, I don’t waste a second getting her undressed. She’s tugging on my shirt, unable to lift it over my head by herself thanks to our significant height difference. After I toss my shirt onto the floor, I finish undressing her and kick off my sneakers. Picking her up, I place her in the center of my bed where she looks beautiful with her blond hair cascading over my black sheets—a few strands covering her chest. “Hurry, I need you, Kipton.”
