“I'm going to dive into online dating,” Ria said.
“Nothing wrong with that,” Ellie said. “I've met my most diligent stalkers that way.”
“Stop poking fun. I’m doing it right now.” Ria staggered to the kitchen counter and brought back a laptop. It took Ria a few seconds to find the power button and her screen navigation was a bit inaccurate. Ellie avoided the whole drunken mess and grabbed the laptop from Ria.
“Hey, what you doing?” Ria asked.
“What website?” Ellie asked.
“What do you think? Any ideas?” Ria asked.
“Boston's Singles?” Ellie responded.
“Sure,” Ria said. “You date a lot? Can I ask that?”
“Do you mean is it in the Babysitter Handbook of Etiquette? Yes, I guess,” Ellie said.
“You guess what?” Ria asked as she took another sip of beer.
“I haven't dated in a while, but I used to date a lot,” Ellie answered.
“What's your current girl like?” Ria asked.
“Okay, let's get you set up with a profile.” Ellie changed the subject and then navigated email, passwords, username and she started to build the profile.
“Type this. I'm a fat divorcee with child. Like it or not.”
“As enticing and as sexy as that is, I'm going to have to use my babysitter veto.” Ellie typed.
Ria read out loud as Ellie typed, “Single mom with childcare so we can go explore Boston together. Loves to shop, dance, and has a great sense of humor. Looking to start dating fun woman who wants to share in these interests.” Ria poked Ellie and asked, “How did you know I like to dance, and that I like funny people?”
“I said you have a great sense of humor.”
“How did you know that?” Ria asked.
“Roxie.”
“Oh.”
“Do you want to put that you're a doctor?” Ellie asked.
“How did you know that? Oh… Roxie.”
Ellie pointed over her shoulder, “No, big ass diploma on your wall.”
“Oh, you can read. That's great in a babysitter.” Ria said as she took some gulps of her beer.
“Stop losing focus. What else do you want on this? Anything else you want.”
“Umm, they need to not bring other people on dates with them and not flirt with guys.”
Ellie responded, “I think that's understood.”
“Not tonight it wasn't,” Ria said.
“Anything else they need to like?” Ellie asked.
“Nothing.”
Ellie and Ria spent the night talking. Ellie had searched Ria's ‘Friends News’ account for a recent picture of Ria. Ellie picked a picture of Ria at a family party where she was laughing at something someone said. Ria was not paying attention to Ellie's navigation on the computer. This allowed Ellie to read some of her posts and look at several pictures. With every picture that Ellie saw, she yearned to see more and learn more about Ria.
Then they logged on to the Boston’s Singles page, and watched the activity.
“There are a lot of people online right now,” Ria said.
“Probably people who were stood-up or had a bad date tonight,” Ellie answered.
“I’m never online. All the pictures of me are through friends or family. All the interns talk about all these apps, sites, games, and I've no clue. I nod and change the subject,” Ria said.
“I don't think you're missing anything. I’m on it too much,” Ellie said.
“Yeah, I'm way busy. It does leave me clueless in a lot of conversations. What do you do?” Ria asked.
“Oh besides babysit and make online profiles for hot, tipsy women?” Ellie asked.
“You called me hot,” Ria said. “I needed that.”
“You're gorgeous. You have to know that and I'm going to stop flirting and answer the question. I'm a musician,” Ellie said.
“What kind? Like in a band or in an orchestra?” Ria asked.
“Band,” Ellie answered.
“Cool. I don't have a musical bone in my body,” Ria said.
Ellie realized that most of the time she had spent with Ria was spent laughing.
I love her smile, and her laugh. What is it about her smile that is so enticing?
With Ria being tipsy it was easy for Ellie to linger on her gazes at Ria. Ria ran her finger down the side of her beer bottle. Her finger left a trail in the condensation. Ria brought the bottle to her full lips, took a drink and then placed the bottle on the coffee table, then leaned back on the couch. Ria's lips held Ellie's gaze. Ellie noticed each line of her lips. There was a slight scar below her lower lip. Ria had imperfections that drew Ellie to her. Ellie could almost taste Ria's lips on her own.
Did she fall off a swing? Get hit with a stick? Scratched by a cat? A biking injury? I would like to check every inch of her body.
She noticed the left side of Ria's mouth started to smile a millisecond before the right. She had beautiful brown eyes and her hair was thick and lightly kissed her shoulders. With every beer Ria got closer to Ellie on the couch. Ria patted Ellie's knee, shoulder or hand when she laughed. Ellie's skin tingled at each spot Ria touched.
Ria's shirt swooped down exposing part of her collarbone and her caramel skin. Ellie wanted to nibble down Ria's neck all the way to that collarbone. Ellie could see herself continuing down to where her breasts met. Ria's breasts looked perfectly rounded under her shirt. Ellie had to pull her eyes to Ria's eyes and then her lips as Ria spoke. But Ellie could not maintain her focus and her eyes started to wander again. Ria leaned into Ellie and slapped Ellie’s thigh. Each time Ria touched her, shivers flew through Ellie's body. At times Ria would rest her hand on Ellie's thigh, her arm, and her shoulder. Each time Ellie froze and wished she would keep it there forever.
Ellie noticed Ria's hands. Her fingers were long and thin. They seemed strong, yet precise for surgery. Ria's feet were bare and her toes clung to the edge of the coffee table like a monkey’s. Her toenails were painted a deep red. Ellie looked at Ria's face. She was beautiful. Ellie wanted to run her fingers through Ria's long, thick hair. Ellie plastered her hand under her own thigh as if that would stifle her thoughts.
“Who's your closest friend?” Ria asked.
“That’s easy, Dina,” Ellie answered.
“Why?” Ria asked.
Ellie leaned back on the couch and locked her hands behind her head and answered, “She was the first person I came out to. She didn’t care. She said something like. ‘no duh.’ She followed it up with saying that if anybody else had a problem with it, she'd kick their ass.”
“She sounds sweet,” Ria said.
“You're probably the only person to describe Dina as sweet,” Ellie laughed. “What about you? Who's your best bud?”
“My dad,” Ria said.
“Really?”
“Yeah, we talk all the time about everything. He was the first person I told when I realized I was a lesbian. He was cool with it. He cried and gave me a big hug. He said he was only crying because he knew other people might not understand.”
“He sounds sweet,” Ellie said.
Ria answered, “He is.”
With every drink, Ria seemed to need to touch Ellie in some way. She spoke and caressed Ellie's forearm with her warm hand. When Ria lifted her hand it was as if it left a permanent impression of tingles. Ria leaned her head to Ellie's shoulder and then sat upright again. A fruity, beach smell drifted through the air and seemed to land on Ellie's shoulder. It was the same smell that was on the couch’s pillows. She put her hand on the back of Ellie's hand and Ellie stopped breathing. It was as if Ria needed to touch Ellie to ground her to be able to talk. Ellie felt her heartbeat quicken.
“How many beers until you get buzzed?” Ria asked.
“Not many. Are you trying to get me drunk?” Ellie asked.
“Would I need to?” Ria asked and then laughed.
Ria turned to look out the window. Ellie leaned in to kiss Ria but then pulled ba
ck. Hanna Baker came through the speakers and that did not make it any easier. “Falling for you,” Hanna’s lyrics filled the apartment. Ellie felt light headed but had only consumed three beers.
Two beers later for Ellie, Ria went to change in the bedroom. Ellie scanned her phone. It was four a.m. Ellie ran her hands through her hair and rested her head on the pillow. She fell asleep on the couch while waiting for Ria to return.
Something heavy fell on Ellie's feet and jarred her awake. Maggie had plopped down onto the end of the couch, and onto Ellie's feet.
Maggie grabbed the remote control and turned on cartoons.
“Good morning Ellie,” Maggie said.
“Good morning. Can you get off my feet, please?” Maggie got off her feet. “Thank you. Is your mother up?”
“Snoring in the bedroom. You can go into her room without it being an emergency,” Maggie said.
Ellie got up and walked down the hall to Ria's room. Ria was fast asleep, but was not snoring. Ria had changed into a black t-shirt and red mesh shorts. Ellie imagined crawling in beside her. She wished to be the pillow she was hugging. She wished to press her lips onto Ria's. She found herself standing and staring at Ria. She walked back into the living room.
“Is she still sleeping?” Maggie asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you know how to make pancakes?” Maggie asked.
Ellie yawned and then answered, “Umm… they’re supposed to be easy, but I don't cook.”
“An irrational fear or laziness?”
“Don't know how and lazy,” Ellie answered.
“Well, I will have to wake up my mother then,” Maggie said as she turned off the television.
“Wait, you should let her sleep,” Ellie said.
“Today is pancake day, and we have to have pancakes,” Maggie said as she walked toward the hallway to Ria's bedroom.
Ellie thought about the research she had done last night on people diagnosed with autism. One article reported that people are sometimes stuck in a routine. It said they can get dysregulated if that routine is messed up. It also said something like they are unable to see grey areas and are, therefore, very black and white thinkers.
“Wait, umm… would your mother mind if we went and bought some at the pancake house down the street?” Ellie asked.
“Those are my favorite. I will get my coat,” Maggie said.
While Maggie got her coat, Ellie went to the bathroom, relieved her bladder and washed up. She left a note on the door and took Maggie out of the apartment.
Ria woke to find Ellie and Maggie gone. She panicked until she saw the note on the door stating, We went to grab pancakes for Sunday’s sake. Be back soon with breakfast for all. -Ellie
CHAPTER 4
Ellie walked away from Maggie and Ria's apartment, into the elevator, tired, un-showered with a full belly of pancakes, sausage and coffee. Ping. The elevator doors shut.
“Yes!” Ellie said as she clapped her hands. The sound reverberated in the elevator. “She was amazing,” she whispered. “They’re amazing.”
She put on her baseball cap and stepped outside. Outside the apartment complex the air was wet. She gawked up toward their apartment. She was hoping to somehow get one more glimpse of Ria. She had no such luck.
Last night it was dusk when she had seen the building. The outside had faded red brick. Ellie's belly hurt from all the laughing last night and this morning. In her nose lingered the smell of Ria. Ellie thought of how Ria hugged her goodbye and the fruity scent of Ria's hair.
Across the street she saw a few people slow down and stare at her. They seemed to be on the verge of recognizing her. She turned the corner where a black Lincoln Town Car was parked. A woman had opened the back door for her. She was a little bit shorter than Ellie. She had dark skin and shoulder length black hair. The driver’s arms were the size of Ellie's thighs.
“Miss Way,” the driver said.
“Yes, thank you,” Ellie answered. The driver closed the door and Ellie sank into the backseat. The softness and cushion of these seats were always a pleasant surprise to her. Ellie rested her head back and closed her eyes. She saw line after line in Maggie's notebooks. She saw Ria lying in bed holding on to that pillow, surrounded by satin sheets. She saw Ria's lips and heard Ria's laughter.
“Wild night?” the driver asked.
“Huh?” Ellie asked.
“None of my business, but it looks like you had a long night,” the driver said.
“Not wild, but definitely memorable,” Ellie answered and a smile slid across her face.
The car pulled away from the curb and headed north toward downtown. The woman drove for a little bit, and kept looking in the rear view mirror at Ellie.
“Miss Way, I know that look anywhere,” the driver said.
“Yeah, how so?” Ellie asked.
“Someone has tugged on your heart.”
“What?” Ellie asked.
“Forgive me for saying it, but you look like you're in love,” the driver chuckled.
“I think you bought yourself a good tip, and it's EJ. Please, none of that Miss Way stuff.”
The driver answered, “Yes, EJ. I'm a big fan.”
“Thank you,” Ellie said. “And if you're a big fan, you know that I want the location of my pickup held confidential.”
“Always. I understand, and anything for you, Miss Way,” the driver said.
Ellie opened her phone to her calendar and saw that she had a meeting with Robert.
“I need to go downtown to B & E Headquarters. Can you do me a favor and drive around for a bit first so that I can nap?”
“Yes, no problem.” Ellie arrived downtown an hour later, succeeding on getting a few minutes of rest.
“Ellie,” Robert greeted her at the car. Robert was the same height as Ellie, but about a hundred pounds heavier and he had a slight potbelly. He was forty-three years old, but, due to his baby-face, until a few months ago looked like he was in his late twenties. He decided to grow a beard. His hair was red, and the beard completed his costume as a leprechaun. He always wore a vest, and he only owned things that were top of the line. He was one of those people who had one eye on his phone at all times.
“Hi Robert,” Ellie said.
“I thought you had gone and lost your ability to use your hands. Good thing we have insurance on those babies. You couldn't text or call back?” Robert asked.
“I was busy, Robert. What was so urgent?” Ellie asked.
“Urgent, umm… just that we have all your tour dates solidified,” Robert whined. “Well, solidified as much as shifting sand can be solidified. I need your approval on them. We start in less than a month.”
“Already?” Ellie asked as she yawned.
“The album is done. Come on, we talked about this. Why? What else do you have to do?”
Ellie answered, “I don't know, maybe have a life.”
“You have a life that everyone is dreaming about. You want a life. Everyone, every lesbian wants to be you. Hell, they all want to do you,” Robert said as he pointed to Ellie.
Ellie said, “Not all of them.”
“Is this about Jenny again?”
“No. No. Hell, no. Can you not say her name again? If anyone has the name Jenny, let's either not hire them or at least change their name,” Ellie answered. “Don't worry about it. Where are we going first?”
Robert showed her the itinerary and informed her of the opening acts, speaking engagements and promotional events. This year she was touring internationally. Ellie was scheduled for three Pride Parades. They even landed the Newport Rock Festival that had been a goal for Ellie for three years.
Somehow, the whole conversation was on cruise control. In each lull in the conversation, Ellie’s thoughts were of Ria's smile, a joke Ria had told, and the smell of Ria's apartment coming from the clothes Ellie slept in the night before.
Ellie picked up a magazine with her picture on the front. She turned the pages to an article about her. Sh
e read: EJ Way steps onto the stage. Her 5'7” frame steps through the fog. Her blue eyes call to the camera and her rippling biceps, adorned with tattoos, burst from her shirt. Her sideways smile flashes at the front row of screaming girls as she runs her hand through her short, brown hair. Her sultry voice finds its way to the microphone and...
“Ellie, you there?” Robert asked.
“I’m still amazed about what people think of me,” Ellie said as she pointed at the magazine.
“Yeah, they love you. Ellie, I was talking about the tour,” Robert said. “Shall I go over it again?”
“No, this all looks great. This is great. I'll sign off on whatever you want,” Ellie said.
“You okay?” Robert asked.
“Everything’s fine. I'm not flaking out on you. I’m tired,” Ellie said. “Don't pretend you care about me. I'll be there and ready and better than ever.”
“You usually have objections to the schedule. Find a new EJ toy?” he asked.
Ellie said, “You know I don't like when you talk like that.”
“You did,” he said. “What's her name?”
“Not like that,” EJ said. “A family I met.”
“Charity, great publicity. Why didn't you say so? We can send a camera crew...”
“No. This is off-limits. Is my car still here? I'm going to bed,” Ellie said.
The same driver that picked her up from Ria's had waited for her at the studio and then drove her home. On the ride home Ellie could not stop thinking about Ria. She thought about the amazing time she spent with Maggie. She felt her chest drop every time she even thought of kissing Ria.
Ellie opened her phone to her contacts and started deleting every girl that she had dated or slept with. When she reached her apartment only her friends, family, restaurants, business associates, Jenny, and Ria remained in her contacts. She walked into her apartment, fell into bed and dreamt of lying in Ria's arms in a room surrounded by Maggie's notebooks.
CHAPTER 5
Ellie woke up still thinking about that amazing woman, Ria. She could not believe she had deleted all those girls’ contact information. She had girls’ numbers from every major city in the U.S. Now here she was head over heels for a woman she had never even dated.
Love's Autograph Page 3
