She spent the weekend in bed. Her phone buzzed or beeped dozens of times, but she refused to answer. The doorbell rang twice while Cara was at work, but she stayed put. On Sunday there had been a knock on the door and Cara had come upstairs to get her, but she’d faked being asleep.
On Monday, she and Cara rode to campus in silence. Cara didn’t pry. She was good like that. They parked the car and separated for classes. Heading into the language arts building, her steps slowed. The confusion and pain she’d spent the weekend trying to eradicate reared its ugly head at the sight of Liam waiting outside her classroom.
She sucked in a deep breath and headed toward him. She’d spent most of the previous afternoon practicing what she would say to him when she saw him again, but now that she saw him, her tongue tangled and her mind refused to remember the words.
He looked up from where he lounged against the wall. His dark, curly hair was a mess and dark circles stained his eyes.
“Hey,” he said as she approached.
She walked to the open door, heart pounding. His hand shot out and he touched her wrist. She pulled out of his grip. Backing up a step, she glanced around. That hadn’t been something she’d practiced.
Several students slowed and looked over but kept moving.
“We need to talk.” He fiddled with the strap of his messenger bag.
“I think we talked enough on Friday. We did enough of everything on Friday.” She moved toward the door again. There was no way she was having this conversation in the hallway.
Liam stepped in her way. “Asha, please, let me explain—”
She held up a hand. Okay, maybe they were having this conversation now. She raced over the excuse she’d spent the weekend convincing herself of.
“I understand perfectly. You didn’t want to chance me getting pregnant and due to our very vulnerable states there was quite a good likelihood that we could have ended up bonding which would have been a disaster. I get it and I thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me—” The words came out as hollow and as rehearsed as when she’d practiced them in her room. She moved around him.
“That’s not it. I mean…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes, there’s that, but that’s not why I didn’t want to—”
“You admit you didn’t want to?” She crossed her arms over her chest in an effort to bind inside the words she wanted to spew at him. “Then why did you kiss me in the first place?”
“Yes…I mean no…I mean—” It was his turn to growl.
Natasha glanced down the deserted hallway and then into her classroom. Her professor walked to the door, grabbed the handle and looked at her for a moment.
“Miss Moon, you’re a bright student and from the paper you just turned in I can see that you have a great future ahead of you. But only if you can get to your classes on time.”
She nodded. “Of course. Thank you. Sorry, Professor.” She stepped out of the way as he closed the door in her face. Lovely.
“If you’d just let me talk to you. Let me explain.”
She’d convinced herself over the weekend not to care because he didn’t. If that changed now, she didn’t know that her heart could handle being rejected by him again later on.
“I’ll spare you the trouble. We went for a ride, adrenaline started pumping, it’s almost the full moon. We talked, we kissed, that’s it. It’s okay. We don’t need to turn this into something it isn’t.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he blurted. “This is something. Something I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t want this.” He pointed between them.
“You think I did? My last boyfriend tried to kidnap me. I wasn’t looking to come out here and find someone who I thought might actually be the one. You think I wanted to get my heart toyed with again and spun around like a yo-yo?” Her rib cage crushed in like an empty soda can. “I’m letting you off the hook. Neither of us wants whatever this is so we’ll just part here as friends.”
“That’s not what I—”
She shook her head. She couldn’t do this. The lies she’d just told him were enough to squash her under their weight. If he said even one kind thing to her, she’d cave. “Please. I’m late for class. I can’t do this. I just— I don’t have it in me.” She grabbed the classroom door handle and yanked it open. The professor stopped speaking and eyed her as she found a seat in the second row. What Natasha had wanted to say was that she didn’t have it in her to fall for someone who wasn’t sure about what he wanted. And Liam was obviously conflicted.
She removed her notebook and her pen and stared at it. Her hands shook from adrenaline. That hadn’t gone anything like what she’d prepared for. She’d planned on keeping it cool. Not let him see how much it shredded her up inside like tissue paper knowing that he didn’t want her. It’s okay, she told herself for the millionth time. She shouldn’t be getting involved with a guy so soon anyway.
Staring at the professor, she tried to concentrate on the lecture.
It didn’t work.
* * * * *
Class ended, and Natasha looked up to find her classmates moving out into the hall. Glancing down, she found her notebook full of notes, but she didn’t remember writing them. She shoved her stuff into her bag. She had an hour before her next class.
The brushing of her skirt on her legs left them prickly. The days before a full moon were pure torture. Everything was heightened. How she wished she had her bracelet to stave off the effects. Her father had searched for years to find just the right species of wolfsbane. It’d cost him a small fortune, but finally the plant had been located somewhere in the Far East. He’d been able to have three made. One for himself, her mother and Natasha. Getting another would be near impossible. She didn’t know any other shifter who had one.
The smells of the hot dog stand across the quad floated over, making her stomach growl. Even with her sunglasses on, she needed to squint. She slowed her pace, realizing she had no idea where to go the following night. She’d assumed she’d go with Liam and Cara but now…
A familiar scent hit her and she started moving again. Keeping her head down, she rushed into the student center. Heavy footsteps followed.
“Hey, Asha.” Clint fell in beside her. “Are you avoiding me? What happened Friday night?”
“Skinny dipping really isn’t my thing.” She kept moving. Clint’s musky scent made her skin flush with heat. Damn the full moon!
“Come on. I know that wasn’t it.”
She stopped, blew out a breath and rubbed her head. Why did he always seem to ask questions she didn’t feel like answering? A light pounding started behind her eyes. “It’s nothing.”
Clint touched her. “Talk to me.”
Students moved around them. She stepped toward the wall and raised her sunglasses. She squinted up at him. Her sight was becoming more sensitive by the minute. She pursed her lips and pinched the bridge of her nose. What should she say? Ron really hadn’t done anything.
“You can trust me.” His handsome, boyish face showed nothing but sincerity.
She shoved her bangs behind her ear. “It was silly. Your friend Ron was talking to me and he… I don’t know. He was asking all kinds of questions, and he was so big and it just—” She hung her head. “It sounds so stupid now, but I didn’t feel right.”
Clint lifted her chin and she met his gaze. “I get it. Meeting a few new shifters is one thing. Meeting a whole pack of them can be overwhelming. I’m sorry. I should have looked after you. Ron can be a little intense, but I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm.”
Natasha bit her cheek. She wanted to believe him. He’d been nothing but genuine and nice to her this entire time.
“Let me buy you lunch to make it up to you.” His charming grin reminded her of how Daniel used to be before he’d changed.
Her stomach growled, and he chuckled.
“I take
that as a yes.”
“I have to warn you, I’m a big eater before a full moon.”
“Good.” He smiled. “Then I won’t look like such a wolf when I eat.”
She laughed, and he opened the door to the food court.
“What are you in the mood for?”
“Why don’t we work our way down the row?”
“Chinese, tacos, hamburger, pizza, sushi, hot dog, sandwiches it is.”
“With a diet cola.”
He laughed again. “Of course.”
* * * * *
Liam chewed the cold turkey sandwich slowly, the taste like chemicals on cardboard. He’d screwed up. He should’ve explained to Asha that he didn’t want to make love to her because he didn’t want her first time to be like that. He hadn’t realized she was a virgin. After what she’d told him about her ex, he’d assumed she wouldn’t be. It’d taken him by surprise. She was precious and deserved better than to have her first time be with sand in all her crevices. But he just hadn’t been able to find the words. The feelings he had for her had slammed into him like a linebacker, pummeled him to the ground and kept him from breathing. It was a force he’d never experienced before, and after cooling his hormones, logic had won out.
He sucked down a large gulp of root beer, dislodging the dry sandwich from his throat.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Cara asked.
“Not really.”
She popped a chip into her mouth, glanced away and then looked back again. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Same as always, riding down the preserve and staying the night chasing birds.” He wiped his mouth. “You want to come with me this time?”
Cara shook her head.
“You should try it. Just once. I’ll be with you the whole time. If it doesn’t work out—”
“No.” Cara grabbed the bag of chips and the rest of her sandwich and shoved them into her backpack.
“Cara.”
She stopped, her brown eyes wide and round as tennis balls.
“You’re a good person,” he said.
She nodded and left without another word. Liam pushed his sandwich across the table then ran his ringed fingers through his hair and covered his face. The sounds of the coffee shop pounded through his oversensitive ears like a million bass drums in his head. The coffee percolating behind the counter, the change being dropped into the cash register, the beeping of someone’s candy game on their phone.
He breathed in deep in an effort to center himself and caught the scent of jasmine. He whipped around and scanned the food court. His chest tightened when he spotted her. She was at a table with Clint, her tray piled high with the various foods they were sharing. His nostrils flared at the thought, and his wolf roared to life.
Liam shoved his chair back and strode to where they sat. His rings dug into his fingers as he clenched his fists tight. Clint laughed and then sniffed the air. His gaze lifted from Asha’s face, and he looked straight at Liam. Clint put down his fries and stood, meeting Liam head-on.
Liam strained his muscles to keep from ripping his rival’s head off.
“We’re just having lunch,” Clint said. “You want to join us?”
“Asha, get up.” Liam clenched his teeth, his gaze still on Clint.
“Join us.” Clint stuck out his hand.
Liam growled and folded his arms. Clint stepped back, a rumble escaping his chest, and his eyes flashed ice blue. Liam stepped forward, every fiber of his body ready to meet the challenge.
“That’s enough.” Asha rose from her seat and pushed Liam in the chest, forcing him to back up. He met her fiery gaze. “That aggression is totally uncalled for.”
“Get your stuff and let’s go.” Liam’s body shook. His wolf instincts were so near the surface this close to the full moon that he barely kept the fury inside from demolishing the entire food court.
Her eyes held wolf fire. “You aren’t my keeper. We talked about this earlier.”
“Has he told you about Lindsay?” he asked through clenched teeth.
Asha crossed her arms. “No, and I don’t care. Everyone makes mistakes, Liam. You, of all people, should know that.”
The words stung like a slap to the face, but they did nothing to defuse the bands of anger winding tighter and tighter.
“Ask him. Ask him how he found her at the beginning of the school year, naïve, sweet, unprepared. Ask what happened to her that first full moon—”
“It was an accident.” Clint stepped forward. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“You didn’t even care for her. All you wanted was to show me up. To prove that you were the big Alpha on campus.” Liam stepped closer, and Asha pushed on his chest.
“You’re right,” said Clint. “I tried to show off, but what happened to Lindsay was her own fault. I tried to stop her from going off by herself. I told her to stay with the pack.”
“She wanted to make you see she was worthy,” Liam yelled. “To be accepted. And what happened? You killed her.” Liam lunged, but Clint backed out of the way just as Asha stepped in to Liam’s space. His chest collided with her, knocking her to the ground.
She fell to the floor with a thump. Chairs scooted away from tables, and students stood gawking at the scene. Clint rushed to her side.
“Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” She got to her feet.
Liam stared down at them. Memories of his mother splayed on the floor covered in bruises flashed through his mind, dousing out the flames of burning anger.
He’d hurt Asha, like his father had hurt his mother. He’d tried to warn her. He couldn’t help it. It was who he was. The anger was inscribed into his DNA as solidly as was his wolf.
“Asha, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
She brushed off her skirt and pushed her hair out of her face. When she locked eyes on him, he swallowed hard.
“I’m fine.” Her voice softened as did her eyes. She reached for him, but he stepped away. “It was an accident.”
Liam opened his mouth to speak, and then he sucked in a deep breath, blinking back the burning tears that stung his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Her beautiful face held overwhelming sadness that broke him to pieces. Unable to think, he fled from the student center.
Chapter Ten
“Liam!” Natasha tracked his steps as he ran. “Liam!”
Her heart slammed into her rib cage. She’d seen the gut-ripping agony on his face from having hurt her. He would shoulder the blame and beat himself up for what had happened. No matter if he didn’t feel about her the way she felt about him, he didn’t deserve the mental butt-kicking he was about to give himself.
“Are you okay?” Clint asked again.
“Yes, yes I’m fine.” Her eyes stayed glued to the door Liam had left through.
“Do you want to sit down?” Clint motioned to her chair.
She looked at the pile of uneaten food. Nausea soured her stomach. “I think I better get going. My class is going to start soon.”
“I can walk you.”
“No.” She squeezed his hand. “I really appreciate the lunch.”
“Do you have somewhere to turn tomorrow night?” he asked. “You’re welcome to run with us, but I understand if you don’t want to, after what Liam said.”
“Why don’t you text me later and I’ll let you know.”
He rubbed his neck. “Okay.”
Natasha picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “See ya.”
He waved and then stuck his hands in his pockets. Guilt hit her for leaving him like that, but it was more important that she find Liam.
* * * * *
Natasha called Cara and found out what Liam’s next class was. She went to the fine arts building and waited outside the room. She sta
yed until the hall emptied and then took out her phone to check the time. A student came running in and stopped at the door.
“Excuse me,” said Natasha. “Is this Shakespeare 210?”
“I hope so.” The girl pulled the door open and went inside.
Natasha shivered. Liam wouldn’t just blow off class.
Natasha: Where are you?
She bit her lip. With only two minutes to cross campus to her class, she hefted her bag and took off.
* * * * *
“Have you heard from Liam?” she asked Cara as they drove home.
“Not since lunch today, why?”
Natasha shrugged. So many questions mixed in her brain like a cocktail that she was beginning to feel light-headed. “Did you know a girl named Lindsay?”
Cara’s gaze whipped to hers. “Liam told you about that?”
“Sort of. He yelled at Clint today and said Clint killed Lindsay.”
Cara stared out the window. “It really isn’t my place to say, but…”
Natasha waited.
Cara sighed. “Liam had been on campus a couple years. I’d only been here for about six months when Clint and his pack came to school. Clint tried to make Liam part of the pack, but he wouldn’t have anything to do with them. Lindsay was new. She and Liam became friends. Clint started showing interest in her as well. She wasn’t Alpha mate material, so that was unusual. She wanted to be liked so badly that on the full moon, she went out with Clint and his friends. They ran in an area they weren’t supposed to. An area where humans were allowed. Something happened and she was hit by a truck and went into a coma.”
Horror ripped through Natasha’s gut. “She died?”
Promised at the Moon: Shifter Rising, Book 1 Page 8
