by Annie Boone
The older woman nodded. “I have yet to see the end of it myself. But you’re on your way to Nevada, and there’s only more land to find after that.” Everyone had heard the stories about California, of gold and the wide waters. They were supposed to be warmer and bluer than the east coast.
Lydia sighed, leaning against a chair. “Perhaps Nevada will be close to the ocean. If there’s anything I miss about home, it would be the water. I know New York City doesn’t have a festive waterfront, but Mrs. Jessup, I miss it even now.”
Standing up, Susannah patted the girl’s knee. “Perhaps your future husband will take you there. You never know.”
It made the girl, barely nineteen years old, blush bright red. “I—I suppose he might,” she stammered. Looking away, she stared at her fingers, already stained purple from the berries. But she hardly noticed, already lost in thought.
“Lydia?” Susannah frowned, and touched the young girl again. To her surprise, Lydia jumped. “Goodness! Lydia, what is it? Are you all right?”
Blinking, the girl nodded uncertainly. “Yes. Yes, I… oh brother. I apologize. My thoughts were carrying me away. I was only thinking that—no, I’m… oh, it’s nonsense. I didn’t mean to bother you, Mrs. Jessup—”
She shook her head. “Please, call me Susannah. And what’s on your mind? To distract you that much, it must be of some importance.”
Shrugging, the girl turned away and created a wide berth with the table between them. She stared at her feet, and slowly the doubt became apparent in her brow. Susannah remembered the letters just as Lydia opened her mouth.
“It’s just that I’m worried… I’m afraid he won’t want me. I could know how to do everything—cook, wash, read, clean, work hard—and still not find someone willing to take me.” She motioned loosely to the side where her scars were visible. The worry that hung on her made her appear much too old.
“Well, I think you’re wrong,” Susannah cleared her throat. “And let me tell you why. Because in your first letter, do you remember what you told me? Lydia Cowell, you said you needed to find a home where freedom and God were present. You weren’t even looking for love or an easy life which I am certain you could have found in New York. You said you wanted to find joy in whatever form it came in.”
The girl smiled briefly, then looked away.
“That’s why you’re here. Because you’re on your way to Nevada, where you are going to marry Mr. Joshua Ralph. Now, I personally know Joshua since he served in the Rangers with my husband.” That garnered some attention and Susannah lifted her head proudly. “He lost his wife over three years ago, and refused to even consider anyone else. He refused until I brought you to his attention, that is.”
Lydia paused, staring at her fingers. “Oh?” And she bit her lip. “Wha—what did he say?”
Chuckling, Susannah went over and grabbed the girl’s hands. “He said that he didn’t deserve such a strong woman, but would do anything he could to give you a good and happy home.” And she watched as the light slowly returned to the girl’s eyes.
She had hesitated on this match for a good while, knowing instantly that it was a good one but worried that no one else would agree. They were ten years apart and with a world of differences between them. There was something about the way Lydia had written to her, however, looking for anything that might be better than home. Better than New York, where people stared at her and whispered. Where they played up pretenses simply to hear about the horror she’d lived through. And better than how her father wouldn’t look at her because his guilt wouldn’t allow it.
Joshua was a good man, and needed joy in his life again. Susannah didn’t have a single doubt that this would be a perfect match, and could hardly wait for Joshua’s arrival. Was it one week, she wondered, or two to go? That would depend on how his travels went.
“Do you think he’ll stare?” Lydia asked softly.
Susannah sighed. “It’s always possible. But I don’t think it’ll be in the way that you’re thinking.” The young woman looked up questioningly and she grinned. “You’re a lovely young woman, and don’t let anyone say otherwise. Joshua has no idea how fortunate he’s about to become.”
That garnered a small giggle. “You’re too kind.” She gave Susannah a cheerful look and it appeared as though she were about to say something else. But then she gasped and turned to the bacon in the skillet. “Oh dear! We don’t want that to burn.” And she hurried to help.
Together they worked together to finish putting breakfast together, and left off the heavy topics to allow for light chatter so their hands could keep working. As the bacon slices piled onto the platter, the other boarders slowly made their way down, creaking with every step. First there was Rosalie, and then Jane and Mary came down together. And the last one at the moment was Lorelai, quiet as a mouse who slid into a seat and poured everyone some milk.
By the time Lucas returned to the kitchen, the six women were chattering happily around the table. Susannah, mostly listening, stood up and smiled at him. Any tension from earlier had disappeared as he quietly stepped over to sit across from her at the other end of the table. Conversation continued as though they never noticed he had arrived.
“Oh, you must,” Rosalie was proclaiming loudly. “You simply must, before you go. It was two days ago when the pastor loaned out the appaloosa to me. His name is Smith, by the way, and I went right up to the first ledge in the mountains there. Oh, the air was so fresh and crisp, I could almost taste it. I’m sure if you ask, they’ll let you go today,” she glanced at Susannah.
The woman eyed the table with a raised eyebrow. “Not yet. Lorelai still has her lessons, and today Lydia and Mary are helping me in the garden. You have a train to catch, and Jane needs to practice her sewing.”
Most of them made faces before bursting into giggles. Susannah’s stern expression slipped into a smile as she glanced at Lucas who was fiddling with his food. He needed to be going, but he didn’t want to be rude. It was always a quandary.
Since he would be taking Rosalie to the station, he had to wait for her and there was hardly a chance that the woman had packed. While he didn’t mind stepping into a brawl in the street, any women he wasn’t married to always made the man hesitate.
“I feel as though I’m back in school,” Mary shook her head. “Who would have guessed it doesn’t end once you’re grown?”
It was a rhetorical question, but Susannah cleared her throat. “Because if you’re going to live out in the west,” she told them firmly, “then you need to be prepared. Just as you worked in the cities to know which streets to cross and when, and how to ride comfortably in carriages, it’s important out here to be able to ride a horse, tend the land, and prepare to make the best out of the little you will most likely have.”
Humbled, Mary glanced down and the other girls nodded, listening attentively. Though Susannah hadn’t meant to deliver a lecture, she couldn’t help it. She decided to continue since she was on a roll.
“It’s important to me that if I’m helping you find a good man, that you’re prepared to take care of him. I don’t just allow any man to write and to find himself a wife, you know. If he’s not up to par, then he will look elsewhere. I’m making solid matches here, and it’s important that you uphold your end of the deal.”
Lydia nodded hurriedly, always attentive and studious. “Of course. You know so much, Mrs. Jessup… and you’re from the East yourself. How did you ever decide to become a matchmaker?” She phrased it with a giggle, inviting the other girls to grin.
“How did I decide?” Susannah’s words faded away as she glanced up at Lucas. Their eyes met again, and she felt a tidal wave of emotions strike. The last few years washed up all the pain and joy they had endured, the beginning of all their work in this endeavor. For a minute, they just gazed at one another, leaving the young ladies to glance between them curiously.
Finally, Susannah sighed and stared at her unfinished breakfast. They had time, she decided, for one more
story if she kept it short and sweet.
“Well, it was a few years ago,” she began carefully. “We found ourselves in a situation where we had a big house for just the two of us. We wanted to do some good for people who needed help. I’d played matchmaker for a few friends and found I was good at it. And the rest is history.”
She smiled at each one around the table and her smile widened when she saw Lucas nodding his approval.
Chapter Four
Rocky Ridge, Colorado; 1876
In truth, Susannah’s matchmaking started in the middle of where they had been in their life—settled well on the land and happily working together. Things were good, until Susannah came to the unsettling truth she shared with Lucas. Her firm belief that there was no chance they’d ever have children was shattering. When he’d walked out that day, she’d wondered if he would ever return.
The following evening, though, he returned from town as usual and brought home a new bag of flour, sunflower seeds, and honey. Along with several other provisions that weren’t available in Rocky Ridge. That meant he had been to Colorado Springs, she knew, but he shared no details with her. In fact, he’d barely spoken to her at all.
He stopped in the kitchen and sliced off a hunk of bread from the loaf on the table and took it with him on the way to their bedroom.
Hmm, I guess he’s not going to sit down with me for a proper supper. Disappointed, she went to the kitchen and sliced some bread for herself. Spreading it with jam, she went back to sit in front of the fire to eat it.
She had letters to read from each of her two aunts along with a letter from Eleanor. Since Lucas had retired to their room without her, she decided now was the perfect time to open the letters and feel a connection with people who cared for her. She read her aunt’s letters first. Both were short, sweet, and gossipy. Their quips made her smile and cheered her up for a moment.
Eleanor was an old friend from Boston, a place she hadn’t seen in how many years now? They wrote to each other often, and it always sent a thrill through Susannah knowing that her childhood home was still very much the same.
“It’s good to hear from you, Ellie,” Susie murmured as she unfolded the pages, and began to read. Her eyes read over the lines one by one, and then over again. Eleanor had taken a trip to New York City, and had enjoyed her time but found little good company. It made her laugh. “Then you might as well come here. The company out here leaves something to be desired on many a day.”
That was an idea. Susannah considered it as she read it over again. It grew more into an idea as she thought about her dear old friend, recently widowed and still struggling. She had gone to New York to look for better work, for a better anything.
Boston was the same, but things were hard for Eleanor. Familiarity wasn’t the comfort it could be for her. It made Susannah’s heart tight and she prayed to the Lord for His guidance.
Then, not wanting to go back to the bedroom yet, she pulled out some paper and ink to begin writing her return to her friend. It was long work, penning a long letter like that. There was so much she wanted to say and her feelings just kept pouring out. But then as she came to the end of her thoughts, she realized she’d been writing for over an hour. For some reason, the letter didn’t feel right.
So, Susannah had tossed it aside, and then cleaned up the supper that had been untouched. By then it was late but she returned to her chair in front of the fire, anxious to pen the right words.
The two of them had grown up as childhood friends, and had been as close as sisters for most of their life. When Susannah felt the need to leave Boston, she came to Colorado for Lucas as his mail order bride. That had been a tearful goodbye, but they had felt certain they would see each other again in their lifetime.
The next thing Susannah knew was Lucas shaking her awake. She looked up and saw out the window that dawn was just breaking.
“What are you doing?” His words were gruff and his touch was impersonal. She was quickly reminded that they hadn’t resolved their issues.
The paper she’d been writing on stuck to her cheek and she could see ink spotting her hands when she pulled it away. Sheepishly, she tried to straighten up and fluff her hair. Yawning, she stood up and glanced out the window.
“I was only—oh my, oh dear! What time is it? Honestly, I’ve only been resting my eyes…” Hurrying around the room, she tried to shuffle the papers back into their order, tucking the letter she had so recently finished under one arm and the opened letter in the other. “Let me get something over the fire now, before you leave—”
“No need,” he interrupted, and picked up his hat. “I’ll just get something in town.”
She paused at the door and looked at him, stunned. He wouldn’t even look back at her. He never ate in town. If anything, the man pronounced his extreme distaste for the despicable, cold food at Danny’s. And it was Monday, their day for big fluffy biscuits. “Oh.” It was all she could say. “Of course.”
Her eyes drifted down to the letter, still partially written, and suddenly she felt the strong impulse to find some companionship. It had been years since she’d seen anyone from home or family. While her Aunt Ruby had stopped in Colorado while moving with her husband to Oregon, no one else had visited. It wasn’t exactly easy, picking up and leaving for a trip across the country just for a visit, though, and she understood. Susannah slumped against the doorway, and considered her options.
Chapter Five
Rocky Ridge, Colorado; 1882
Lydia glanced around the table. Lucas had stopped eating, his fork resting on his plate. Even though Susannah wasn’t saying anything about the trouble in their relationship, he still seemed nervous.
Lydia’s hands cupped her chin and she sighed. “So, this means you started this because of your friend, Eleanor?”
Susannah smiled and nodded. “That was the first match I made.” Then she sighed. She had just received a letter from her friend from not three days ago, sharing that she was preparing to give birth to her second child. Susie made a mental note to tell Lucas that they would need to take a short break from bringing in women so that they could go visit soon. She was anxious to get her hands on those two babies.
“And what did you think of it, Mr. Jessup?”
All eyes turned to him as he stopped a spoonful on the way to his mouth. He’d finally begun eating again and now they’d stopped him. Susannah held back a grin as he collected himself and shrugged. Things were good between them, and had been for years.
“I… well, Miss Eleanor is a nice woman, and Mr. Conner was settling down and searching for a wife. Susannah’s always been good at seeing things that most people miss, so how could I keep her from bringing happy couples together?”
She nodded her gratitude and the other girls considered this. Lorelai, ever quiet, finally spoke up. “Was she your first boarder?”
“Not quite,” Susannah said. “We took people now and again, folks passing through town who needed a place to stay for a short time. It was unofficial back then, but if the boarding house near the station was too full, then they were recommended to us. Trains fortunately only passed around the times Lucas was in town, so often he was bringing over guests that I had no idea we were about to house for a night or so. Eleanor, however, was planned and she stayed longer than anyone else at the time.”
Chapter Six
Rocky Ridge, Colorado; 1876
After several days of tremendous unease in their household, as Susannah remembered it, she finally had her fill of the distance that grew ever wider between them. Lucas stepped quietly inside late one evening—much later than usual, in fact. He could still move around without being heard proving he still had skills that he’d learned as a Texas Ranger.
She’d been waiting on him to come home as she washed a cup in her suds bucket. Just her cup, since he still hadn’t been eating at home. While food disappeared here and there, Lucas had yet to sit down with her for over a week.
After spending several days coo
ped up in the house on her own without any company but the animals, Susannah’s patience had withered into dust. When she saw him sneaking around with a stack of blankets heading for the loft in the barn, she lost her temper.
Slamming the now clean cup on the table, she had whirled around. “You stop right there, Lucas Jessup!” She demanded loudly, and pointed at him. The look on his face was guilty for only a second before he frowned. “I cannot take this… this silence. The coldness between us is unbearable and I won’t take it anymore.” Shaking the suds off her hands, she marched over to him.
Although he was taller, she didn’t let his size intimidate her. “I told you about a problem I have—no, that we have—and it killed me to say those words out loud. You know I don’t want it to be true, either, Lucas. You know that more than anything. I’m just as hurt as you by this. But this is not the way a husband and wife handle problems. Sneaking around, not talking to each other, not sharing how they feel about something really bad that’s happened. This happened to me, too. Not just you.”
She looked at him with unwavering fire in her eyes. She was angry and hurt. If he couldn’t see that, he was blind. Instead of responding to what she’d said, he turned to face her with a scowl and placed the stack of blankets he carried on a chair by the door. Then he put his hands on his hips. And finally, he finally looked her in the eyes for the first time in about a week.
They stood silently looking at each other, neither backing down. Still, Susannah’s husband remained silent.
“Lucas, while I understand you need to figure out how to deal with your feelings about this. Seeing as I’m doing the same thing, there are limits to what I’m willing to take. You have to treat me like I matter. My feelings matter, too. So, if you don’t care about my feelings or if you’ve decided you don’t want me anymore,” her voice cracked but she refused to stop, “just be man enough to say so. Then I’ll take my leave.”
