by Sammi Franks
“Oh, I get it, Charlie, but I need you to get me too.” Alex folded his hands on the table. “I’m not some hit it and quit it kind of guy. If I was, you shouldn’t want anything to do with me.”
I rubbed my temples and tried to process what gnawed at me. “You’re a photographer. You’re incredibly talented.”
“Thank you. I love capturing snippets of life.” Alex smiled. “Ever since my mother’s illness and subsequent diagnosis, my camera and my career have come in handier than I ever would’ve imagined. These moments, time, is more precious than I ever imagined. I refuse to waste a minute of it.”
“I completely understand and respect that,” I murmured. Then I swallowed hard. “I’m getting older, Alex. By the time you’re my age, I’ll be pushing my mid-forties. That beauty you treasure so much will be fading.” I crossed my arms over my body. “I’ve accepted that. Beauty is fleeting. Then your interest will begin to wane, and next thing you know, I’ll be old and alone.” I bit my lip to keep it from trembling and averted my eyes. This was more honesty than I ever imagined for a first date.
His eyes widened and he leaned forward. “Is that what you think?” Alex vehemently shook his head. “I’m not that guy, Charlie. I see beauty everywhere, in everything. I’m sorry your first husband hurt you, but I’d never stop loving a person because looks changed over the years. I’m not that shallow and insecure.”
I stiffened. “What was that last part?” I could see from his face he thought I was accusing him of those shortcomings. “I’m serious. I don’t think that of you, but obviously you think that of Chad. And I need for you to explain.”
Alex moved his chair enough so he could reach out and hold my hand. He dragged his fingers up and down my skin, making me break out in goosebumps. “The problem with your first marriage was it was never about you. It was about him. Understand?”
With a shake of my head, I disagreed. “He dumped me because I was one year older than you are now.”
“No, he dumped you because he felt old and ugly. He felt like nobody if he didn’t have a shiny new toy. The man didn’t know how to love himself; how could he ever love someone as incredible as you?” Alex brought my hand to his lips.
I inhaled sharply and my eyes watered. “I don’t know…” I wanted to believe him, but it was so hard after all the years I’d been stinging from the pain of being so quickly and easily discarded.
“It’s true. A man who loves himself knows how to love others. He doesn’t base his worth on money or on how others see him. His happiness comes from the inside.” Alex leaned in. “And I’m seriously one joyous bastard.” He chuckled. “I thought I saw that in you too. I imagined you knew how to love yourself, and that everything I saw wasn’t some practice in revenge.”
I blinked back my tears. “I do love myself. And I suppose that’s why I’m scared of loving others. It took me a long time to get back to this person you see, to build the life I have.”
“Silly Charlie,” Alex murmured. “Don’t you know that this life is meaningless without someone to share it with?”
13
Alex
* * *
“I know we talked about this,” I continued. I fingered the digital camera placed on the table. “I know we both agreed we couldn’t offer more than something casual, but being around, spending time with you...” I looked up at her and hoped she could see how serious I was. “I don’t want casual. I want a chance to be serious with you. Not right away, of course. But I want the chance. I want you to open yourself up and let me try.”
She looked at me with imploring blue eyes, but I could tell she was starting to waver just a little bit.
At that moment, the waiter came by and dropped off the check. I immediately reached for it before she had the chance to grab it. I knew she would have insisted we split it, but I invited her out and I wanted it to be my treat.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” she murmured, her voice low.
I never expected to see Charlie uncomfortable. She was always confident, seemed so sure of herself, especially in her winery, but looking at her now, the way her arms were resting across her chest...it looked as though she was trying to make herself as small and as unnoticeable as possible, which was ridiculous, considering how lovely she was.
“I understand that.” I pulled out my credit card and stuck it in the bill before setting it flat on the edge of our table. “And if those are your final feelings at the end of all of this, so be it, but I would hate for you to let someone like Chad ruin you for everyone else.”
Her eyes snapped into mine. I noticed her playing with the skirt of her dress but upon and hearing my words, she stopped. “And what is that supposed to mean?” She was offended.
Good.
She needed to hear this. She needed to understand she was shutting herself off from something potentially amazing.
“You’re afraid.” Before she could say anything, I took a picture of her. And then another. “You’re afraid, Charlie. You look at me like I’m going to leave you the same way Chad did. And it’s upsetting that you would even compare me to someone like him. It hurts me that you lump me in the same category. Even more, I’m sad for you and for seeing yourself this way. Because, in the end, Chad wins. He’s on to his next plaything and you are alone because you can’t seem to move past what he did to you.”
I could see her blue eyes get glassy, could see her chin tremble. I doubted she would actually cry. I hadn’t expected to see her this vulnerable. I wished it hadn’t been because of me giving her some raw honesty, but she needed to hear this, even if she didn’t like it.
“You’re beautiful, Charlie, inside and out,” I continued. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. But I can’t change how you feel. I also can’t change how I feel. I like you.”
At that moment, the waiter stopped by. Without interrupting us, he grabbed the check and disappeared.
“I don’t understand how me not wanting to be serious with you has to do with Chad,” she argued. She dropped her hands from her chest so they rested limply on the surface of the table.
I reached out and covered her hand with my own. I dwarfed it. It amazed me how delicate it was. Without thinking, I rubbed my thumb up and down her soft skin and watched her break out into goosebumps. “Chad ruined you,” I commented. “For someone as strong and as independent as you are, you’re surprisingly fearful.”
The waiter brought back the check. I dropped some cash for a tip and signed the check, pocketing my credit card and standing up.
“Can I take you home?” I asked as she continued to stay seated.
“I think I’m going to stay here and get one more glass of wine,” she said, her eyes on the off white tablecloth. “I’ll get an Uber home. I just need some time.”
“Oh.” I pressed my lips together as I pulled the digital camera’s strap over my head. “Would you like some company?”
She looked up at me and forced a smile. “Not really,” she said.
Fair enough. Even though I wanted nothing more than to stay, I wasn’t going to intrude if she needed space. I thought we had a wonderful time tonight but I also knew I was probably more honest than she was used to. I hadn’t been trying to insult her. I wanted to take her in the bathroom and have her in the stall before I took her in the backseat of my car. I wanted her in every way I could get her. More than that, I wanted to be around her. I wanted to get to know her better. I wanted to potentially be with her seriously, fall in love with her, and everything that went along with that.
But I wasn’t going to force this, even though, deep down, I knew she wanted this too. I knew she wanted to take a chance, she was just scared.
As I got into my car, I sighed. I could see Charlie from where I sat, raising her hand to signal the waiter. I wanted to go to her, to wrap her up in my arms and tell her she deserved to be loved the way she wanted when she was young and married. I wanted to tell her that she deserved the best.
Rig
ht now, though, she wasn’t in any position to believe me. She was still fractured from her broken marriage.
Good thing I was patient…if she wanted me, of course.
I would wait for her to heal. Hell, maybe I might be able to help. I would be there for her. And since I wouldn’t be able to tell her how great she was and have her believe me, I was determined to show her.
14
Charlie
* * *
From the corner of my eye, I’d watched Alex wander out to his car. I’d wanted to go with him, but the thought of riding back to my place in an uncomfortable silence, then having him drop me off instead of coming in made me dig in my heels and stay at the restaurant, even if it meant calling for a ride. Of course, I was nowhere near ready to leave yet. I wanted to sit and drink until I forgot, or managed to drown my sorrows, whichever came first.
I’d managed to flag down the waiter to order a bottle of wine. This time, I selected a vintage I couldn’t get for free back at my place. I’d write it off as a business expense. Once the bottle had been uncorked, the waiter began to pour my glass, but I stopped him.
Laying a hand on his forearm, I murmured, “I own a winery. Let me.”
He grinned, bowed slightly, and backed away. “Of course, miss.”
“Thank you.” I smiled as he moved to leave me to my own devices.
At first, I poured a small amount in the bottom of my glass. I swirled it, then paused to watch the legs. Before I could even complete my analysis, a man had taken the seat Alex had been in not so long ago.
“What are you doing?” he asked, nodding toward the glass.
“Watching the wine legs,” I murmured absently, in the hopes that I wouldn’t encourage him. The last thing I wanted was for some asshole to ruin what little night I had left.
“Huh. I never really enjoyed wine. Now legs, I like. And I couldn’t help but notice you have a nice set.” He reached out and ran a hand over my thigh.
I stiffened and glared at him. “What are you doing?”
He frowned. “Offering you a compliment. I thought that was obvious.” He rolled his eyes like I was an idiot.
I shook my head. “A compliment is something like…you have nice eyes, or I like your hair like that, or what a pretty blouse.” I licked my lips. “You touched me. It was completely uncalled for and incredibly unwanted. Go away before I call the waiter and have you removed.”
He leaned over the table. “Fine. The last thing I need is an uppity bitch.” He spat the last word in my face and the hand in my lap curled into a fist.
“Keep walking, you giant cootie. I don’t have the energy to deal with you. Bye.” I sighed angrily and hoped he’d take my advice and walk away because I was genuinely ready to punch him if he continued to offend me. After Alex left, all interest in pleasing anyone but myself had ended. I was pretty much over dumbass men.
“What did you call me?” he sneered.
People were starting to stare. I could feel eyes on me. The waiter was stuck at a table on the other side of the restaurant. I was truly on my own. And if there was anything I hated, it was creating a scene, calling attention to myself.
“Cootie. Come one. You’ve never been called a cootie before?” I leaned back in my chair and shook my head in surprise. “I find that hard to believe. A guy like you? Someone who thinks he can touch anyone he wants, however he wants?” I sighed. “Well, if no one else said it aloud, then I’m sure they were thinking it.” I giggled. Then I ignored him altogether and poured my glass of wine. This time, I sniffed deeply, my eyes closed as I tried to focus on the scents that had been activated by my gentle swirling motion. “Fruity. Oaky.” I opened my eyes and saw the guy still staring at me, sadly, with a hint of frustration at being insulted. “And mopey. Dude, go away,” I urged.
“What did you call me?” I could see the hairs on the back of his neck starting to stand on end. His ears had turned red. And I could detect more than a hint on the alcohol in his breath.
I sighed. “I get it. You’re drunk. Which name did you miss?” I paused and saw his jaw jut out. “Okay, one more time. In order.” I held out my hand to tick off the names on my fingers. “Cootie. Mopey. And the generic, but still one of my favorites…dude.”
He slammed a hand on my table. My wine glass shuddered and I snatched it off the table before it could tip. “Whew. Nearly a party foul. I got you.” Then I winked.
“You bitch,” he roared.
“Sir, I’m going to need you to take it back.”
We both turned to the new voice. Alex had returned.
“You came back,” I murmured as a smile played on my lips.
“Obviously I can’t leave you unattended,” he noted as he pointed toward the guy who still stood there like a dolt.
“Want some wine?” I asked quietly. “Market research.”
Alex smirked. “The wine or the guy?”
I laughed. “The wine. The guy isn’t worth my time.”
“Him, or me?” I watched as Alex’s brows rose hopefully.
Pushing my chair back, I stood, then set my glass on the table. “Him.” I grinned. “I’d give you all my time.”
“Starting now?” He held out his hand.
“I’m pretty sure it started when we met.” I sighed happily.
The waiter showed up and glanced back and forth between us nervously. “Is everything okay here?”
I smiled. “It is now. Check please. One last time.” Then I walked into Alex’s arms.
Alex shook his head. “We don’t have time for this.” He pulled a fifty-dollar bill from his wallet. “Will this cover it?”
I nodded. “The bottle was about thirty bucks,” I commented.
“Keep the change,” he told the waiter. Then he wrapped his arm around my waist. “I’m taking you home, Charlie,” he warned me. “And then I’m staying. Clearly, you can’t be left to your own devices.”
“What about earlier?” I asked nervously.
Alex pulled me close. “We’ll work it out. Tonight, I just want to be with you.”
15
Alex
* * *
“What changed your mind?” Charlie’s sultry voice caused my eyes to look out their peripheral. Any excuse to take her in, even if it meant nearly driving off the road.
“I never leave a woman in a restaurant by herself,” I told her. “I just needed some space, Charlie. I need you to know how amazing you are. If I’m being honest, I drove around the block so you wouldn’t think I was bluffing, parked in a different spot, and watched you. Not in a creepy way, but in a way where I wanted to make sure you got your ride and you were safe. When I saw that guy touch your thigh, I wanted to beat the shit out of him.”
“But you didn’t come in the second that guy showed up,” she pointed out, giving me a look. It was subtle, patient. Waiting.
“I’m not going to be the guy that saves you,” I told her. I rolled the car to a stop before making a left at the light. “You don’t need to be saved. You can handle yourself. When I saw that the guy wasn’t going to take no for an answer, that’s when I decided to intervene.”
She nodded her head. “Usually guys like to speak for me, take care of me, that sort of thing,” she mumbled. “You don’t do any of that.”
I felt my face pale as I pulled in front of the winery. It was dark now, the only car in the small lot her own.
“I don’t think that’s what women want,” I admitted. “I mean they do. But I think more than anything, they want to be trusted, that they’re capable of handling themselves, making decisions. If you need me, you’ll ask. I trust that you know yourself well enough that you’ll ask. You aren’t the type to play games.”
She stared at me for a long moment. I didn’t know if I said the right words or if I completely fucked this up. I knew women - girls, usually - liked to hear that men would protect them and they would get incredibly overprotective because they didn’t think their women were capable of making a decision or talking to
a man without assistance. I wasn’t one of those guys. I wasn’t the type to get jealous and I wasn’t going to impose myself and pretend being an asshole equated to me caring. I wasn’t going to apologize for what I said. If she didn’t want me, fine, but I hoped she did.
Without warning, she lunged at me, her lithe body jumping over the center console and grabbed my face with her hands. She placed her lips on mine passionately, sneaking her tongue inside my mouth without preamble. Her fingers tugged at my hair and before I knew what was happening, she managed to kick her shoes off and straddle my lap. I knew she could feel my hardness because she made sure to grind against it.
I moaned, causing my mouth to open even further.
She took advantage of me in the best way.
“Do you want to go inside?” I asked. My voice was hoarse, breathless. I was pressing against the seam of my pants painfully. I had to be inside of her, I had to explore her body and bury myself as far as I could go. I needed her. I needed her more than I needed anyone.
“No,” she said. Her voice was husky, those blue eyes filled with lust. “I’d rather just take you right here.”
Who the hell was I to refuse?
I nodded my head, but I didn’t think I needed to. I didn’t know when I stopped nodding or how she ended up removing my shirt. It didn’t matter. Her hands raked my body. I knew I had marks all over my skin. I didn’t care. She could do whatever she wanted with me and I would drop to my knees and worship her body.
With expert hands, she reached between us and undid the button. Somehow, she pulled out my cock and started stroking it. I nearly lost myself in her hand. I let out a guttural growl, my grip on her hips tightening.
I loved how in control she was, how vulnerable I felt. I felt every stroke, every inch of skin she covered with her hand.
