James really couldn’t remember when he’d had so much fun. As they piled off the ice awhile later to sit on the benches around the fire Steve had stoked back up and drink the hot chocolate Emily handed out, he wished that he had brought Kaylee and Van. They would have really enjoyed the afternoon and evening as well.
Though he and Erin hadn’t talked much after they’d finished dinner, James had loved skating with her. He was reminded of how she’d talked about him taking a girl on fun and unique dates. This evening would definitely have qualified as that…except Erin wouldn’t take him up on his invitation for a date. He could only hope that the time they’d spent together over the past few days might have shown her that he could take her on the kind of dates she wanted.
As Erin watched the flickering flames, she once again found herself torn. She really needed to go home. In fact, she should have left a couple of hours ago because she had to be at the bakery very early the next morning, but the evening had been so magical that she hated to leave. Mostly it was because—in spite of her best intentions—she’d loved skating with James to Christmas songs on a rink lit with romantic lights. Her heart’s joy in it all was overriding her more practical need to get some sleep before work the next day.
So instead of saying goodbye and heading home to sleep, Erin remained on the bench beside James, sipping out of a large Styrofoam cup filled with creamy hot chocolate while gazing into the fire crackling in front of them. She couldn’t have planned a more perfect time with James. It was just too bad that their best times together seemed to come when they didn’t talk. As long as they didn’t hold a conversation that reminded her in some way of their fundamental differences, Erin enjoyed the time they spent together. But she knew that wasn’t a good basis for a friendship, let alone any type of romantic relationship.
So what was she to do? Could she forge a friendship with this man, knowing all the while that her heart wanted something more than it could ever have? She wasn’t sure that she was strong enough to trust her heart to this man who not even a month ago had scoffed at love and marriage. His actions hinted strongly that he wanted more than just friendship, but was it because he wanted to prove to his grandmother that he was worthy of dating her?
Erin wasn’t interested in that. What she was interested in, she wasn’t sure that he could give her.
James stopped by A Spoonful of Sugar the day after they’d been at the Callaghans. Before she’d left that night, Erin had asked him if he had time to come in and test a new recipe she was planning to use for Nana’s cake. Van had come with him again, but this time he’d brought his own car since the roads were in better shape.
The last time the three of them had sat and talked together, Erin had definitely been engaged in the conversation. He’d learned things about her that he hadn’t thought to ask. When he’d taken other women out on dates, he hadn’t been in the habit of finding out who their favorite singer was or what they liked to do in their spare time. Most the time, he’d just let the women talk, and they’d been more than happy to fill the silence. Whether it was talking about their job or the latest celebrity gossip, none of them ever seemed to have a shortage of things to say.
Van seemed to have a knack for drawing things out of James, but if James wanted to take things further with Erin, he knew he needed to learn how to share about himself and also how to ask the right things of her. So he’d brought Van along as a buffer once again.
“Hey, you two.” Erin greeted them with a smile when she emerged from the back where the kitchen was located. “Why don’t you have a seat over there, and I’ll be right with you.”
Van led the way to the table that was next to the Christmas tree. Holiday music still played in the background, and James wondered how long Erin carried on the festive season in the bakery. He had to admit that for the first time ever, he was kind of sad to think of the season coming to an end. It had been the best Christmas—aside from Christmas dinner—that he’d ever had, and he was in no rush to have it end.
“Coffee?” Erin asked as she set a cup in front of each of them. She also set a third mug down which made James happy since it likely meant she was going to join them for more than just a quick visit.
When she returned a second time, she had a small plate with goodies on it. She put the plate down in the middle of the table and then took the seat next to Van. At first, James was a bit jealous that she’d chosen to sit next to his friend but then realized that this allowed him to watch her in a way he wouldn’t have been able to if she’d been seated beside him.
“What do we have here?” Van asked as he leaned forward to look at the plate. “It all looks delicious.”
“I certainly hope so,” Erin said with a smile. “These are samples of all the recipes we’ll be using for James’s grandmother’s party.”
James listened as she described the flavor of each cupcake and the icing it was paired with. She’d brought a knife and forks for them as well and proceeded to cut one of the cupcakes in half and then handed them each a fork.
“This is the strawberry cake with the lemon zest frosting. This will be served as a cupcake.”
James took a bite, savoring the explosion of flavor that came from the sweetness of the strawberry and the slight tartness of the lemon frosting. Even though it was a frigid day, it was like spring had come to life in his mouth.
Each cupcake she had them try seemed better than the last. She served them the chocolate cupcake that would be what Nana’s cake would be made from last, informing them that this was the new recipe she’d been working on. James knew immediately that Nana would love it. Even though he still wasn’t sold on sweets overall, James knew that he’d never ever turn down anything that Erin made.
“These are all your own recipes?” Van asked as he finished up his half of the chocolate cupcake.
Erin nodded. “Just ask Noella. I do so much experimenting at home.”
“How do you come up with the flavors and the combinations like you have here?” James asked.
She shrugged. “It’s a bit hard to explain, but it just sort of comes to me. Like for the chocolate cake I’m planning to use, I was drinking a cup of Belgian chocolate flavored coffee and wondered what it might be like to add that into one of my chocolate cake recipes. I brought samples to work and everyone agreed it was delicious.
“For my fruit flavored recipes, I try to work with what’s in season, although obviously, I’m making an exception in this case. I used pureed strawberries in both this cupcake and in the frosting for the vanilla cake. The natural flavors are the best, and that’s what I try to work with when I can. I’ve just always enjoyed experimenting, even when I was a teen. I had a lot more misses back then, but I’ve learned from those and rarely have something flop completely. Even if it’s not a complete hit initially, I learn enough from the experiment to be able to fix what went wrong and make it better.”
“That’s certainly a talent not a lot of people have,” Van commented.
“I’m very grateful that I’ve been able to do what I love. And to be able to work for myself and to have the freedom to experiment and then implement. I wouldn’t be able to do this without Noella’s help, though. She takes care of all the business side of things which frees me up for things like this.” She turned to look at James. “So where are you having this party for your grandmother? We’ll need to make arrangements to have the cake delivered.”
“As per Nana’s instructions, we will be having it at the church. Dad wanted it at some upscale venue, but Nana would have none of that. She had us book a room at the church that is wheelchair accessible so all of her friends can come if they’re feeling well enough. Kaylee is going to town with the decorations, though.” James reached into the inner pocket of his suit. “By the way, Nana wanted me to make sure you got this.”
He held out the envelope toward her. With raised brows, Erin took it and slid out the thick cardstock. When James had stopped by to see Nana earlier that day, she’d given him the invitation to pass on
to Erin. He had to admit that he was glad that she’d be there as a guest, not just to drop the cake off.
“Do you think you can make it?” James asked. “Noella is invited too, of course, along with Finn.”
“I know I’ll be there,” Erin said with a smile and a nod of her head. “Noella, however, will likely be in Scotland.”
“Scotland?” Van asked.
“Yep. She and Finn are leaving tomorrow to visit Finn’s family and will spend New Year’s with them. Finn is close to his grandmother, and she’s been sickly of late, so I think he wants to spend some more time with her and introduce Noella to her.”
“Are they that serious?” Thinking back to what he’d seen of the couple, James realized that was kind of a dumb question.
“They haven’t been dating long,” Erin said, “but they’ve been friends for over a year. I think they both agreed pretty early on that it was serious between them. Finn actually gave Noella a promise ring on Christmas Eve.”
“Why not just give her an engagement ring?” James wasn’t up on all the protocol when it came to dating and getting engaged.
“I’m not altogether sure, but I think Finn knew they still needed some getting-to-know-one-another time before the actual engagement, but he chose to give Noella the ring as a symbol of his intentions. His grandfather had given his grandmother the ring before he left for the war. There is a very romantic story behind the ring.”
Van sighed. “It’s stories like that that give me hope. We can get rather jaded in our job, but I try not to let it drive me to the point of giving up hope of finding my own love.”
“You’ve always been a dreamer,” James said with a grin. It was an old joke between them. James had liked to tease Van about his dreamer approach to love and romance.
It appeared that the joke was on James, however. Love had snuck up on him while he wasn’t looking, and now he was left trying to figure out how to deal with it. Talking with Nana had given him a perspective he’d never cared to have in the past. He’d been too focused on his own parents’ issues and those he saw every day with his clients to see that a relationship didn’t have to be that way. He could choose to do things differently and work hard to ensure a different outcome for his own relationship than what his parents had.
“You guys sound like Noella and me.” Erin smiled, though the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes the way it had earlier. “I’m the dreamer, and Noella was always the practical one. That’s what made watching her fall for Finn so amazing. She had to overcome a lot to let him into her heart.”
“Sounds like maybe you should have a conversation with her and ask how it’s done,” Van said with a smirk in James’s direction.
“Maybe I should,” James agreed.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
As Erin listened to Van and James talk about changing, she sensed that they were trying to convey a message to her. The concern she had was if she could trust that message. She looked at James, seeing his romance hero appearance and wishing instead that she could see his heart. Had he experienced a genuine change of heart that included not just a desire to date her, but also a change in how he viewed love and marriage? Or, more importantly, had his view of God changed?
When Van’s phone chirped, he reached into his pocket. “I’m probably going to have to scoot.” He looked down at his phone. “Yeah. I told Mom I’d pick her up from the salon when she was done. Dad had to meet with someone and couldn’t get back in time.” He looked at Erin with a smile. “This has been great. I think I’m going to snag a few goodies to take to my mom.”
“I’m glad you were able to stop by,” Erin said as she got to her feet. “Let me help you choose some of our popular items.”
Erin expected James to follow them, but he stayed at the table while she helped Van. He insisted on paying and then was out the door. James seemed to be in no rush to leave and since her work for the day was basically done, Erin took a carafe of coffee over to the table and topped up both their mugs. She took the remnants of the cake tasting and the carafe back to the counter, then returned to sit across from him.
“Thank you again for all the work you’re doing for Nana’s party. She’s going to love the cake.”
“It’s my pleasure.” Erin sat back in her chair, her mug cupped in her hands.
They sat sipping their coffee, the Christmas music filling the silence between them. Finally, James said, “I also want to thank you for helping me see that I needed to make some changes in my life.”
Erin frowned. “I did that?”
“You were certainly a part of it.” James’s head dipped, his gaze going to his mug. “Nana’s revelation that she thought I wasn’t good enough for you caught me by surprise. Up until that point, I thought I was basically a good person. I knew I could be harsh with some people because of my job, but overall, I tried to treat people right, and even though I may have gone out on dates with women Nana set me up with, I made sure they knew upfront that I wasn’t interested in marriage. I never led them on.” He looked up at her. “The bottom line was that I didn’t think I was a bad person.”
“I never thought you were a bad person,” Erin said. “Though I have to admit I didn’t like you very much at first.”
“I know. I sat here and watched the sparkle bleed right out of you because of what I said and how I acted.”
Erin’s brows rose. She hadn’t expected him to notice something like that, but then again, he was a lawyer, and no doubt he was trained to observe body language and other subtleties of a person’s interaction with him.
“After talking with Nana, I came to the realization that I wanted to be a man worthy of you. That I didn’t ever again want to be the reason your sparkle dimmed.” He looked at her, his expression serious. “But it was you taking me to the program at that church that sparked the biggest change for me. I’d ignored a lot of what Nana had told me over the years about her faith and her belief in God. This year, though, something was different for me. Stuff at work already had me questioning things. Then I met you and found out about Nana’s perception of me, all of which made me more willing to listen to the messages around me. Whether they were from you, the program we went to, the Christmas story your dad read, or Nana, for some reason this year I’ve wanted to hear it all.”
Erin felt her heart rate increase and set her mug down on the table since her hands had developed a slight tremor. This was the most they’d talked, and instead of it highlighting how different they were from each other like past conversations had, James was showing her that he was changing. “I don’t know what to say.”
James reached across the table and rested his hand on hers, the warmth of his touch enveloping her. “Say that you’ll give me a chance.”
“A chance?”
“A chance to prove that I have changed.” James pulled his hand back, his expression serious, his blue eyes intense as they watched her. “I know we got off on the wrong foot. I understand that and take full responsibility for what happened.” He paused. “You have helped show me a different path, a better one. It’s one I’d like to continue to walk with you. If you’ll give me a chance.”
Erin wanted more than anything to give him the chance he asked of her. But what if the changes weren’t lasting? What if she opened her heart to him and he suddenly decided he didn’t like the changes he was making?
She lifted her mug to take a sip in order to wet her suddenly dry mouth. “I’m not looking for someone to just date for the fun of it. I did that already when I was younger. What I want now is for the person I’m going to date to be aware that I am looking for marriage. I’m not interested in being the proof to your grandmother that you are worthy of dating me.”
James shook his head. “It’s not about that. Yes, it made me want to be a better man, but not just in general, I wanted to be a better man for you.”
“But that’s the thing. You need to want these changes for yourself,” Erin said, desperately needing him to say the one thing that would p
ut her heart at ease. She had no idea what that one thing was, but she’d know it when she heard it.
“I get what you’re saying, and you’re definitely right.” James frowned as his gaze slipped away from hers. “And I won’t deny that it started as wanting to prove to Nana that I was a good man, but it’s gone beyond that now.” He fell silent for a moment, his gaze going distant. “I don’t know how to explain it other than to say that something has happened in my heart. Ever since I went to see Nana after the program and decided then to open my heart and life to God, I have craved these changes. As strange as it may sound, it feels like something else is at work in my life. I’m not making these changes on my own.”
Erin swallowed hard at his words and tried to formulate a response, but he wasn’t done talking.
“The scariest part of how my life is changing is you.” James looked back at her, and Erin tried not to read too much into the emotion she saw in his eyes.
“Me? Why me?”
“Like I said before, I don’t ever want to be the reason your sparkle dims. The easiest way to make sure of that would be to step out of your life once Nana’s party is over. Then I’d never have to worry about letting you down or failing to be the man you need.” James’s brow furrowed as he frowned. “But unless that’s really what you want—in which case I’d do it—I just can’t seem to picture a future that doesn’t include you. If you truly want to only be friends, I will accept that, but you already mean more to me than just a friend.”
“I do? But we haven’t known each other very long.” It was silly to question him about something like that when she had managed to develop feelings for him in such a short time herself.
She watched as red began to creep up from the neck of his shirt into his cheeks. He was blushing?
“Well, I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight because my heart wasn’t ready for that when we met, but it wasn’t long after that that my feelings for you began to…develop.”
The Sweetness of Her Love: A Christian Romance (Fostered by Love Book 2) Page 9
