“Just a little dancing?” Karl added meekly, red tingeing his cheeks.
“Dancing?” Sam frowned.
“One scene. Maybe two,” Ronnie said.
“I don’t know.” Sam shook her head. “Where? On top of the set? Mother and Daddy will never let me do it. Anyway, isn’t the fiddler supposed to be a guy?”
Ronnie laughed. “Honey, this is theater. We’ll dress you up in black, tie your hair back and stash it under a hat.” He waved a hand. “It’ll be fabulous. You’ll be so butch.”
Susie burst out laughing, and Sam threw her a friendly shut-thehell-up glare.
“Ronnie, I can’t promise you anything.” All Sam wanted to do at that moment was go back to being miserable.
“Okay, girlfriend. Just think about it. Capisce?”
“No promises.”
“Yea.” Ronnie clapped like a giddy school girl and leaped off the bench dramatically. He glanced at Lisa, leaned close to Sam’s ear, and whispered, “She’s gorgeous.”
Before Sam could react, he spun around on his heels, entourage in tow, and headed toward the Stewart’s entrance. He started singing a chorus of If I were a Rich Man. Sam shook her head in disbelief when Alivia and Karl joined him in full voice.
“Geez,” Lisa said once Ronnie and his friends had gone inside, “what was that all about?”
Sam laughed. “That was Ronnie Alesi, East Valley High School’s gay queen and drama geek.”
“I see what you mean by drama queen.” Lisa shook her head.
“Now you know our pain,” Susie added.
“What do you know about it, Sus? You’ve never had a class with him.” Sam groaned. “Last year I had three with him.” She counted on her fingers as she said, “Math, English, and Strings.”
“What instrument does he play?” Lisa asked.
“Double bass.” At Lisa’s perplexed look Sam amended, “Upright bass. The big stand-up instrument.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know what that is.”
“He’s really good,” Sam said. “Mr. Auerbach will probably put us in the same quartet again this year.”
“Were any of the others, you know, members of the church?” Lisa asked.
Sam shrugged. “I have no idea. I don’t think Alivia is. She had a boyfriend last year. I don’t know about Karl.”
“So,” Marlee asked, “are you gonna do the play?”
“Who knows? I doubt Daddy would ever let me stand up on those rickety sets they build, let alone dress up in guys clothes.”
“Oh, c’mon.” Lisa slid closer. “I want to see you dressed up all butch.”
Sam felt her cheeks get warm. “I’m not butch enough for you already?”
Before Lisa could answer, Susie blurted, “We should enter you in one of those drag king shows.”
“What, pray tell,” Sam asked, “is a drag king show?”
“It’s like a drag queen show, but women dress up like guys and lip sync to songs. They put on fake beards and mustaches and wrap ace bandages around their, you know,” Susie gestured to her chest, “boobage to flatten them down.”
“Sus? How the hell do you know all this?”
Susie smiled. “I watch that LOGO channel on cable. I caught my mom watching it once. I think she was doing research trying to figure me out. They were running a RuPaul marathon, though, so I’m sure she’s more confused than ever.”
Sam laughed along with her friends. “No drag king shows for me, thank you very much.”
“You know what I think?” Lisa said.
“What?”
“Secretly, I think you like Ronnie. Not as a boyfriend, but as a friend. You know what I mean.”
“Ronnie’s okay. I just can’t hang out with him. He’s so out, you know? I can’t risk it.”
“We’re all in the same boat,” Susie said. “Even though the three of us are out to our parents,” she waved her hand to include Marlee and Lisa, “we’re not out at school or the rest of the world.”
“You’re not out to your parents, yet, Sam?” Marlee asked.
Sam shook her head. And it’s not gonna happen in a million years. “Helene knows.”
“Aay, nannies don’t count,” Susie said.
“I’m not coming out to my parents,” Sam blurted. “I’m just not.”
“My mom guessed about me,” Lisa said, “but I finally told my dad. It wasn’t that hard. He already knew and said he supported me no matter what.”
“How could he not know?” Marlee said. “You spend all your time with Sam. It’s funny how parents know these things. My mom hinted around until I got up the nerve to tell her.”
“Dios mio,” Susie said. “Marlee’s mom has been incredible about it, about us. She treats me like her future daughter-in-law. It’s awesome.”
“She really likes you.” Marlee smiled coquettishly at Susie. They had celebrated their four month anniversary three days before, and it was obvious they were crazy about each other. “She said you were good for me or something insane like that.”
Susie stuck her tongue out at Marlee and then laughed.
“So, anyway,” Lisa said, “everybody here’s had a good experience coming out. Three for three. Collectively, we’re batting a thousand.”
Sam picked up her plastic spoon and swirled her now-melted ice cream. “It’s not gonna happen.” She jammed the spoon in the paper cup and pushed it away as if to finalize her statement. “You’re all coming over on Saturday to go in the pool. This’ll be a baby step toward me coming out, okay? If Mother and Daddy meet you guys and feel comfortable that I’m not hanging out with creeps, then when I do tell them, maybe they’ll picture you guys and not scary lesbian psycho killers with crew cuts.”
Once they recovered from laughing, Susie leaned in close. “You know, muchachas, the college has this gay group. When I go there tomorrow—”
“To start your new job,” Marlee interrupted.
“Aay, I’m so excited,” Susie gushed. “Anyway, when I go to the college tomorrow, I’m going to check them out. They’re called the Rainbow Council. Hey, do you guys know how a rainbow is made?”
Sam groaned. Another one of Susie’s impromptu science lessons was about to begin.
Susie continued without waiting for anyone to answer. “A rainbow is made when the sun shines on raindrops in the atmosphere. Each raindrop is a tiny prism that bends the sunlight. Colors bend at different angles, so that’s why you get a rainbow full of different colors.”
“You’re such a science geek.” Sam rolled her eyes dramatically, in total Ronnie fashion.
“I know. And my mother wanted me to be a nurse. Go figure. Anyway, the Rainbow Council has meetings every month, and they have this big gay pride festival in October. Maybe we can go.”
“Pride?” Sam wondered out loud. “Where’s the pride in being gay? Everybody hates you. People want to kill you. You have to hide all the time. I’m happy that you guys got lucky coming out to your parents, but mine aren’t going to take this well.” Understatement.
“She may be right, guys,” Marlee said. “We’re lucky our parents are okay with us, but that might not be the case for everybody. Think about it. Like Susie said before, we’re all still hiding from other people, aren’t we?”
Sam’s thoughts tripped all over themselves. Ever since getting yanked out of the game earlier that day, she had been bumming about Coach Gellar and softball, and now that her friends were pressuring her to come out of the closet, she had new worries; worries that made softball and Coach Gellar seem miniscule.
Sam desperately needed a change in subject. “Hey Sus, let us know how tomorrow goes for you at the college.”
“Si, claro. What are you guys doing tomorrow?”
“I’m going to Lisa’s to help babysit the three musketeers. I don’t think they’ve seen my glorious black eye.” Sam faced Lisa. “Have they?”
“Nope,” Lisa said. “Lawrence Jr. and Bridget are going to love it, but Lynnie might faint.”
“We h
ave to toughen that girl up,” Sam said.
“And you’re just the butch to do it,” Susie teased.
Sam couldn’t find anything decent to throw at Susie, so she stuck her tongue out instead.
“C’mon, you guys.” Lisa stood up and tossed her cup and spoon into the trash barrel. The others did the same. “We don’t have much time before Marlee and I have to head back to Clarksonville.”
They said their goodbyes, and Susie and Marlee headed toward Marlee’s van.
“I guess we’ll meet back here in an hour and a half to exchange passengers,” Marlee said to Sam. “Sound good?”
Sam nodded. “Okay.”
Sam and Lisa headed toward the Sebring, and Lisa folded her five foot ten and a half inch frame into the passenger seat. “I can’t believe summer softball’s over on Saturday.”
“Time marches on, I guess,” Sam said. Before getting in the car, she called to Susie and Marlee, “Have a good evening, you guys. And, uh, don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.”
“Aay, muchacha, that means the sky’s the limit.” Susie laughed.
“Shuddup,” Sam said with a laugh and slid into the driver’s seat.
“Hey,” Susie said to Marlee, “do you know what color’s on the top of the rainbow?”
“Either blue or red,” Marlee answered. “I don’t remember which.”
“Red. East Valley red.”
“No way. It’s Clarksonville blue. I’m pretty sure.”
Sam and Lisa chuckled at the overheard conversation. Sam backed the car out and pulled onto County Road 62. She glanced at Lisa whose dark braid was pulled over her shoulder exposing her neck. Sam couldn’t wait to plant kisses on that gorgeous neck. She cleared her throat. “Let’s go someplace where we don’t have to talk science, or softball, or fiddlers on rooftops.”
“I’ve got a better idea. Let’s go someplace where we don’t have to talk at all.”
Sam pressed harder on the gas pedal. “I knew this day was going to get better.” They headed for their favorite secluded farm road.
Chapter Six
Perfect Samantha Rose
SAM STOOD IN her room, violin tucked under her chin, eyes closed. She didn’t need the sheet music in front of her. She knew the piece by heart. She pulled the bow slowly across the strings and, taking a slow breath, stretched her fingers up the neck to play the higher notes. The piece wasn’t too hard, and it wasn’t a song she needed to practice for her mother’s luncheons, she needed it for herself. Being an only child and growing up without any friends, she had often turned to music for solace. At long last, she pulled the bow gently across the strings and stretched out the last note. Tears flowed from closed eyes. She let the final note linger in her mind as she swam in sadness. She lowered the bow first and then the violin.
A gentle clearing of a throat from the hallway told her she wasn’t alone. “May I come in?” Helene asked softly.
Sam opened her eyes and rubbed at them with the hand that still held the bow. “Sure.” She turned her back to the door and gently placed the Stradivarius and bow in the case on her desk. She wiped at her eyes with both hands before turning around. She hoped Helene wouldn’t notice she’d been crying.
“Chantal says hello.” Helene’s face held a sweet concerned smile. Sam knew she’d been caught.
“That’s sweet. How is she?” Sam asked.
“She’s fine. From what she told me on the phone this morning, she’s going overboard buying clothes for the new baby, but it’s her first, so I can’t blame her.”
Sam sat down on the couch in the living room of her suite. Along one wall sat a home theater with a big screen TV, surround sound, a six-stack DVD player, and a Blu-ray player. A cabinet held her myriad gaming equipment—equipment she rarely used. The floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lining another wall were crammed with books. The desk near the door to her bedroom held her laptop, iPad, and a color laser printer.
Sam pulled her feet up under her on the couch. “When is Chantal due?”
“I should have a niece by New Year’s.” Helene grinned and sat on the other end of the couch.
“That’s nice.” Sam was genuinely happy for Helene and her sister.
“So what’s up?” Helene asked gently.
“What do you mean?”
“Samantha Rose, you were playing the Theme from Schindler’s List.” Helene frowned in a way that told Sam she wasn’t getting out of it.
Sam stared at her hands folded in her lap, but didn’t respond.
“I think this dreary rainy day has gotten you down.” Helene sighed. “That piece makes me want to go back to bed and try again another day.” The silence grew between them until Helene said, “C’mon. What’s up, mon petit hibou?”
Sam relaxed a little when she heard Helene’s French pet name for her. Helene was French Canadian and had been born in the province of Québec. Sam let out a long sigh. It was actually a good thing Helene had interrupted her when she did, because Chaconne was next on the song list. Helene might have called Dr. Boyle, if she’d heard that.
Sam glanced at her nanny and shrugged. Helene couldn’t fix the fact that Sam was on Coach Gellar’s hit list or that her father had almost caught her on the yacht with Lisa the way Helene had caught her with Susie. Sam’s parents would disown her or send her to a boarding school in Switzerland if they ever found out she was gay. The princess would never do anything to shame the Payton family name. She would never do anything horrible like be a lesbian.
“You look tired.” Concern was obvious in Helene’s voice.
“I didn’t sleep well last night.” Serious understatement. Every time she drifted off, she pictured her parents catching her and Lisa together. Her adrenaline had pumped and her heart had pounded so hard that it took forever to calm down enough to even try to sleep.
“Did you have a fight with Lisa?” Helene asked gently.
Sam shook her head. “No, we’re great.” Except we can’t seem to get past second base.
“Are you nervous about the pool party tomorrow?”
Sam smiled at the thought. “No. Well, yes, but I’m not freaking out about it.” Not yet anyway. ”It better stop raining by tomorrow.”
“The forecast is for sun.”
“Thank God.” Sam blew out a sigh.
“I’m glad your parents gave you permission to have the party.”
“Oh, God, me, too.” Sam chuckled.
“Your mother is supervising the maids downstairs as we speak.”
“Weren’t they just here?” The maids, pool and maintenance staff, and the landscapers usually came to work at the mansion Monday through Thursday. Never on Fridays or weekends.
“She called the maids back today to get ready for your party. I think your mother is more excited about the gathering than you are.”
“I haven’t brought friends over in a while.”
“Since elementary school, if you don’t count Susie.”
“That’s true.”
“So, what’s bothering you, honey? Growing pains?”
Sam grunted and rolled her eyes. “Why does everything have to be growing pains?” She instantly regretted her flippant tone. “I’m sorry, Helene. I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I’m—” She sighed. “I don’t know. I’m anxious to get on with my life and be my own person.”
“Everyone has growing pains, Samantha Rose. It’s not reserved for the young. Ever hear of a mid-life crisis?”
“Why? Are you having one?” Sam grinned so Helene would know she was teasing. She and Helene always had an easy way of talking with each other.
“No.” Helene chuckled. “I’m illustrating a point. Everybody’s unsure or unhappy at different points in their lives.”
“Maybe that’s what it is then. Growing pains.” Sam knew it was so much more, though, and simply smiled at her nanny. Helene’s blond hair had a few hints of gray. When did that happen? Helene was thirty seven, or maybe she was thirty eight. Sam couldn’t remember, but what
she did know was that Helene had lived with them since the very first day baby Samantha Rose had been brought home from the hospital. There was no smooth way to ask Helene how much longer she’d continue to live with them and be her nanny, but the question hung heavy on her mind. She stuck to her more immediate troubles.
“I love Lisa so much, but I can’t...” tell anyone. She couldn’t finish the sentence out loud. “There’s so much hiding. We never have time to be alone with each other. There’s no privacy.” Sam felt her chest tighten up again and couldn’t stop the tears.
Helene slid over on the couch and pulled Sam into a tight hug. “Shh.” Helene rocked her like she’d done steadily for the last eighteen years. “Shh, mon petit hibou.”
Sam let her misery flow, safe in Helene’s arms. When her well of tears ran dry, she let Helene hold her tight.
Helene spoke softly. “I remember when you were, oh, six years old, and you told me matter-of-factly you were going to marry your classmate Janet.”
Sam laughed quietly. “I remember that. First grade. Janet Baker.”
“Um hmm. You never announced these things to your parents, though.”
“I guess I knew better, even then.”
Helene nodded. “And then third grade, remember your crush on that cute little redhead?”
“McKenzie.” Sam sat up. “That didn’t last long. She borrowed some books from me and never gave them back.”
“I forgot about that. I’ve lost track of the others since then. And I’m sure there were a few you never told me about.”
Sam shrugged, but smiled sheepishly, admitting that she’d held back some crushes from her nanny over the years.
“And then you turned sixteen and developed a crush on a tall dark-haired girl from Clarksonville that, as far as I can tell, hasn’t gone away,” Helene teased.
Sam felt her cheeks get warm thinking about Lisa. Her chest tightened again, but she willed herself not to cry.
“This one’s not a simple childhood crush, is it?”
“No. It’s so unfair that I can’t tell anyone about her, about us.”
“You mean your parents.”
Stealing Second: Sam's Story: Book 4 in the Clarksonville Series Page 5
