by Tia Louise
“I was too far away to have an active hand in the business decisions. I didn’t have a voice in what went on. I wasn’t aware—”
His tone makes me think of a large snow crab backing up from a predator, front claws snapping. Lara is on her feet, sweeping toward him at once.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice is soft and endearing. “You must think I’m terribly rude to pry into your affairs. I simply love my hometown so much. So many years have passed since I was there. I enjoy finding others who can remember it with me.”
Robert shifts on his leather stool, and I notice Molly has silently joined them. She stands at his arm, and holds out the chunky gold chain.
“You wanted to look at my necklace?” Her innocent tone seems to relax him further. “I’ve had it so long. It might be fun to learn about its history. Can you tell me?”
The cigar returns to his mouth, and Lara drifts away. I’m sure she would say it’s to avoid the smoke, but my eyes follow her. My chest is tight, and a pain moves into my temple as Aleister acts quickly to provide her with company. I signal the bartender for another scotch and lean on my forearms, fixing my eyes on the glossy wood in front of me.
“A New Orleans lady…” I hear him say. I imagine his lips curling beneath his oily mustache to reveal his tobacco-stained teeth. “I detected your French heritage the moment I saw you. The Acadian connection.”
“I’m not Acadian,” she says.
Aleister lights a cigarette, and my mind snaps back, across the miles, to a closet-sized room hidden down a dark passage in the back of an enormous theater.
Whispers in the shadows.
Cigarette smoke in velvet curtains.
Rooms covered in black wallpaper embossed with ornate velvet wreaths…
Five years ago…
I’m barely twenty-one. I’m not a policeman. I’m an errand boy, and tonight I’m running back to the theater from the drugstore on Rampart Street, a small white bag clutched in my fist. I say running, but I’m actually speeding in a borrowed Fiat, block after rain-soaked block.
A strawberry blonde named Tanya is the falling star of this burlesque show. On the posters she is Jezebel, Queen of the Angels, but behind the scenes, she spends her life strung out on fentanyl-laced heroin.
“Move…” Gavin’s voice is stern. He stands over her with his hands on his hips. “Get up, I said!”
He’s shouting, but Tanya only rolls onto her side.
I stand in the doorway behind Roland, who is also twenty-one. His hands are on his hips, and as I struggle to catch my breath, I look through the space between his arm and his lean torso.
“She’s not coming out of it tonight,” he says, taking a long draw from his ever-present cigarette. “She’s done.”
Gavin lets out a growl. As owner of the theater, he’s responsible for ensuring the show goes on. He shoves meaty hands into his ginger hair and looks around the room.
Washed-out blue eyes land on me. “There you are! Where the fuck have you been? Give it to me!”
I rush forward and hand him the bag. It’s Narcan, which he’ll use to try and bring her around quickly. It’s possible she could still perform tonight. I stand back, looking at her pale, clammy skin.
Her skeletal body is covered with a sheen of perspiration, and the hair on her head sticks to her face in stringy waves. She reminds me of a sick baby I saw in the street. Her pink lips are parted, and she makes gurgling sounds. Rosa, the costume mistress, holds her chin and slaps her, and she only does a little laugh.
It makes my stomach sick.
Roland, the pianist and conductor, makes a disgusted noise. “See if Larissa can perform.”
“I’m not moving her to the lead yet,” Gavin argues. “She’s too young.”
They continue to argue, but I back out of the stale, smoke-filled room and make my way down the narrow hall to another little closet. It’s only big enough for a narrow cot, a changing screen, and a lighted makeup mirror. Still, she’s lucky to have her own room.
“Can I come in?” My voice is soft. It’s deep, but it doesn’t have Gavin’s edge yet. That won’t come for another few years. I knock lightly.
The door falls open, and my body goes rigid. All the blood leaves my head, going straight to my cock, and I’m breathing faster.
Larisa stands in front of the mirror. Her long brown hair is pinned up on one side with a sparkling barrette, and a few pieces fall in waves around her face. With her olive complexion and bright blue eyes, she’s dramatically beautiful. The Dark Angel.
A red robe hangs from her shoulders, and her waist is bound in a deep-red velvet corset. Skinny black straps hold up her thigh-high black fishnet stockings. Her legs are long and slender, and in her tall heels she is even taller, even more willowy.
Her beautiful breasts are bare, and even though I’ve seen her in this costume before, I get a hard-on every single fucking time.
I’m in love with her.
She’s the rising star, and while she appears older than nineteen, she’s not. She’s innocent and sweet… and I should keep my hands off her.
I never do what I should.
“What’s happening?” Her voice is soft, and smooth as silk.
She pulls the sides of the robe around her, and I tear my eyes off her body to meet her gaze.
“Tanya’s not waking up.” I step forward into her dressing room-slash-bedroom. “Rosa is trying, but Roland thinks it’s your night to take the lead.”
“Fuck!” she hisses, and my cock jumps. I love when she swears. It makes her polished beauty edgy and raw.
“What’s wrong?” I want to touch her, wrap my arms around her, and feel her warmth against my body.
Long lashes frame her cat-eyes. They blink rapidly, fanning my desire. Her lips are pale pink. She hasn’t applied her lipstick, and it’s how I like her. It’s how I want to kiss her, bruise her pillow lips with my mouth.
“I don’t know the choreography…”
“But you know all the songs.”
She crosses the room to me and puts a hand on my chest. It’s electric, and I wonder if she can feel my heart beating. We’ve been together a few times, and it’s like a little piece of heaven, never enough.
“There’s more to it than that. I can’t just stand there singing.”
Covering her slim hand, I close my fingers over her cool skin. “It’s your big chance. Don’t be afraid.” I give her a warm smile, softening my tone and urging her. “Walk through the door and own it.”
Her dark eyes rise to mine, and she looks at me with so much emotion. My chest swells at the sight. She looks at me as if she wants me to kiss her. My eyes go to her lips. They’re full and slightly parted, dewy and soft. My own lips feel heavy with need. I’m leaning forward, a little closer…
Her door bursts open as if on cue, and we both jump apart. Roland stands in the empty space, and his dark eyes move back and forth over us rapidly. I can’t help thinking he sees what I want.
“Tanya’s awake,” he says. “You’re off the hook. Get dressed for your regular number. Come with me, boy.”
I bristle at his words. I’m not a boy, and I don’t like his proprietary attitude when it comes to Lara. Still, I’m the low man in this chain of command, and I have to do as I’m told for now.
I give her a tight smile. “Don’t worry. Your time is coming.”
I turn to follow Roland out, down the dark, narrow backstage corridors to whatever errand he has for me.
We run into Gavin in the hallway. “Where are you going?”
“Roland said—”
“I need you to go to Tanya’s room and be sure she gets dressed and on that stage. If you see her even look at a drug, you’d better carry her out of there.” He leans closer, furious eyes cutting into mine. “And don’t come back.”
“Yes, sir.” I nod and change directions, heading to Tanya’s dressing room.
I don’t want to watch Tanya dress. Her body makes me ill. I can count her ribs through
the skin stretched taut across her back. Her chest is flat as a boy’s, and her hair is tissue thin and frizzled. Everything about her is like a toy doll left in the rain and snow, abandoned and forgotten.
“Out of the way, boy!” Rosa pushes past me. She’s thick and bossy, and she has costumes over her arm.
I step back and hold the door, looking at my fingernails as the two of them wrap and fasten and tie and apply wigs and headdresses and fans. By the time the stocky woman is finished, Tanya is Jezebel. Up close she’s clearly a malnourished drug addict, but from afar, she’s pink cheeks and soft breasts pushed up into little peaks. She’s a queen.
They pass me in a cloud of starchy powder and antique perfume, and I walk slowly after them, following the narrow hallway toward Lara’s room. I’m sure she’s gone as well, out to the wings to wait for her moment to descend to the stage as the dark angel. I need to head up as well.
These halls are deserted when they’re performing. The skeleton crew is moving scenery and operating lights and equipment, and everyone else is standing in the darkness watching for anything that might go wrong. I’m surprised to see Gavin at her door. He’s speaking softly, urgently, and she’s blinking rapidly. I step to the side and creep closer hoping to overhear their conversation.
“I won’t let that happen.” Her voice is panicky. “I’ll take her place.”
The fear in Lara’s voice shoots fire through my veins. Why is she afraid?
Gavin’s voice is low. “I’ll pass that along.”
My fists clench, and I’m prepared to charge forward and slam one into his choleric nose. It’s several days before I discover the bargain she made, before I chase after her down those dark halls…
That night I find her on her knees in one of the hidden rooms below the theater. The walls are papered in red velvet, and a row of doors lines the passage. It’s like something out of a David Lynch film, surreal and unsettling.
I stop at the corner, carefully picking my way closer, looking for anyone who might be lurking in the shadows.
A knot of possessive anger is in my throat. I know what goes on down here. I’m ashamed that I’ve played a part in covering it up and allowing it to happen. That time I made a vow, I’ll never Lara be hurt here.
I wait a bit longer to see if someone is planning to join us right away. After minutes that feel like hours, I head around the corner and down the second red velvet hallway.
A diamond-studded crown embellishes the door, and a small black plaque reads Private. I reach forward and turn the handle, allowing it to fall open, allowing the narrow shaft of bright light from the hallway to illuminate the interior.
My voice catches, and my semi is back when I see her.
Lara kneels on the floor, her legs bent under her. Her palms are flat on her thighs, and her chin is down. A black satin mask is over her eyes, and she’s breathing so fast, her full breasts rise and fall above the top of her corset.
“Lara?” I say softly, taking a step toward her.
She jumps and stretches her back toward me, but her movements are wrong. She seems fuzzy, drugged out somehow, and her neck is red like someone tried to strangle her.
I go to her and lift the mask off her eyes. “What are you doing? Why are you kneeling here?”
Her eyes widen and she reaches for me. “You’re here!”
“What are you doing?” My hands are on her upper arms, and I attempt to lift her to her feet.
She struggles against me, raising her hands to slap mine away. “I have to do what he says… You have to go before he comes back.”
“Who?” I look all around.
We’re in an elaborate bedroom with mirrors on all the walls. A narrow fireplace is across from a single bed, and a red divan sits in the corner waiting. It’s a boudoir.
“Are you…” I can’t even say the words. “Why are you doing this? What’s happening?”
“Give me the mask.” She holds out her hand, but I swing the piece of silk behind my back.
Her chin trembles and she looks down at her lap. I wait, doing my best to swallow the pain in my throat, doing my best to keep breathing.
I’m on my feet, this time, pulling her up by the waist with me. “I’m getting you out of here.”
“It’s too late,” she cries.
The words pull me up short. “What?”
She goes limp in my arms. “I thought I could keep her safe. I thought I could get her out of here, but it’s too late now.”
I’ve never cared about money, but for the first time in my life I’m confronted by what a necessary evil it is.
She reaches up and touches my face. “Sweet Mark. You want to help me?”
“More than anything,” I say with all the conviction roiling my stomach.
A bitter smile crosses her face, and her eyes are full of so much sadness, it breaks my heart. “Then go.”
“No,” I say desperately. “I’m getting you out of here. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
Thick lashes lower over dark eyes, and she shakes her head. “No one can save us now.”
Pain flashes in my stomach. I’m ready to argue I can save her, and I will, when she rises onto her toes and places her parted lips against mine. Her cool hand cups my cheek, and her tongue touches mine.
It’s a match to the desperate heat inside me. I grasp her body, pulling her closer. A noise comes from her throat as I consume her mouth, pulling her lips with mine, sliding my tongue to hers, stoking the flames higher with each pass.
My arms are around her, and I’m momentarily distracted by how she melts into me, gripping my shoulder with her free hand. Mine moves up her back into her hair. My fingers curl in her silky locks, and my cock stiffens in my jeans.
“Mark,” she gasps, breaking her lips away, but I can’t stop. I chase her mouth, covering it again with mine, drinking from her like a fountain in the desert. I want to take her away from here and keep her safe… I want to make love to her.
“You’re coming with me,” I whisper against her ear, overwhelmed by the passion coursing through my body. “You’ll stay with me. You’ll be mine, and I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”
My hand travels down the curve of her ass, and her fingers tighten on my shirt. “I want to go with you,” she says in a voice that nearly slays me.
Stepping back, I’m ready to drag her to the nearest exit, leave this place, and never look back. I imagine days in the sun, a little white house with a picket fence and children playing in the yard. I imagine every corny thing a man ever imagines about the girl of his dreams when an iron hand slams down on my shoulder. I’m gripped in a vise-like metal claw, and our moment is shattered to little tiny pieces.
“Who the fuck are you?” A wolfish voice snarls loudly behind us.
I’m jerked around so fast, my grip on Lara slips. I reach for her again when a fist blasts pain through my entire face. White fills my eyes, and when I manage to shake the confusion away, I realize I’m on all fours on the floor.
“He’s going to be a problem.” Another man is in the room with us.
“Oh, no he’s not,” Wolf-voice replies. “I’ll take care of this little fucker.”
“No!” Lara screams, and I try to stop the room from spinning.
I try to get to my feet.
It’s no use. A violent kick to my stomach sends me flying down onto my side, another blast of pain shatters through my body. More kicks, one after the other, and I’m coughing up blood. Still, they don’t stop beating me.
The taste of copper fills my mouth, and I see the boot just before it flies at my face. I manage to get my arms up in time to block it from hitting my eyes, but my deflection only makes my attacker angrier.
“You want to be a hero?” the man shouts. “Heroes don’t last long in this place.”
“Stop, please!” Lara’s cry is more of a whimper now, and I look up to see her face shining and slick with tears. Her eyes are red and her nose is swollen.
Terror is on her face,
and I try to reach for her. I try to say her name one last time. I’m sure the words are on my lips. I stretch out my hand. “Lara?”
It’s the last thing I remember before another blast of pain hits my head, and everything goes black…
It’s black as pitch when I open my eyes again.
Time has passed, but I don’t know how much.
My entire body is a vessel of intense pain. The flavor of blood is still in my mouth. I try to move, but my wrists are tied to my ankles. I try to roll, but my shoulder collides with hard wood. I’m in some kind of box. I’m rocking side to side in a rhythm, and as I listen, I hear a familiar noise. I hear the sound of a train.
I’m tied up in the dark in a box on a train.
I didn’t save Larissa.
I can’t let myself think about how they might have hurt her.
I’ll never see her again.
It’s the end of my story…
Part Two
Corruption
“Sex is only dirty when you do it right.” –Anonymous
Lara
Fear pools at the base of my spine, but I keep moving to the other side of the bar.
He isn’t supposed to be here.
He’s supposed to be dead.
And while I’m reeling with the joy of finding him alive and well, I’m having difficulty breathing knowing why we’re here. He can’t figure us out.
“I always wanted to visit New Orleans,” Aleister interrupts the panicked thoughts that have been swirling in my brain since I entered the dining car and saw Mark sitting at the bar. I couldn’t believe it was really him until Esterhaus confirmed it. “Tell me your favorite part of the city.”
Aleister has a thin mustache and greasy hair, and he smells like the inside of a shoebox. Still, I keep him between Mark and me like a shield.
“The darkness,” I answer truthfully. “I miss the supernatural hanging in the air.”
His eyes light, and I know I’ve said the right thing to tempt him. I know everything about him. I came prepared—or I thought I did. Still, I didn’t come this far, do this much work, to be thrown off my game by a ghost. No matter how many of my dreams he has haunted.
