We stay like we are for a little while longer, before I walk us over to the shallow end and finally pull out of her. I’m surprised that I’m actually still somewhat hard, but I can’t help it when it comes to her.
Setting her down, I help her out of the water and grab my shirt. “Come here, babe.” I slip my shirt over Tripp’s head, before reaching for the small towel that I left in here earlier, and slip it around my waist, tucking it.
“I’m hungry,” Tripp says with a cute little smile. “Want some ice cream?”
I kiss the top of her head and smile. “Lead the way.”
Once we get into the kitchen Tripp pulls out a tub of her favorite ice cream and grabs two spoons, digging one in and scooping out a spoonful. “Cookie dough okay? There’s chocolate if you want something else.”
Answering her question, I bend down and take her spoon in my mouth, sucking the ice cream off. “I’m having what you’re having, babe.”
She laughs as I bite her spoon and pull it out of her grip. “Alex . . . you’re so damn cute that it’s ridiculous.”
I flash my dimples and playfully lift my brows at her, while removing the spoon from my mouth. “Who me? Should I apologize?”
She leans in and licks the side of my mouth. “No.” She smiles. “You’re messy too, by the way.”
I suck my bottom lip into my mouth, getting what she missed. “I know . . . I did it on purpose.”
Everything is perfect right now. This is what I can see myself doing for the rest of my fucking life, and never getting tired of being with her. I want this moment to last forever . . . but I know that’s not an option. Or is it?
The back door opens and we both look over in shock as Lucas walks in and sets his suitcase down. He looks around at the messy kitchen. “Party night . . . I missed it. Shit.”
My heart starts beating out of my chest as he walks over and grabs Tripp’s hand, pulling her up to her feet. An overwhelming feeling to kill this motherfucker takes over. I watch his every move as if my life depends on it.
“Lucas, what are you doing back so soon? I thought . . .”
Lucas cuts her off by crushing his lips to hers and cupping her right ass cheek, slipping his hand up my shirt as if she’s his. Fuck him, because she’s mine and she’s in my fucking shirt.
I see red and lose my ability to fucking think straight.
Being careful not to hurt Tripp, I grab Lucas by the throat and slam him up against the wall. “Don’t you fucking touch her, motherfucker.” He attempts to pull away from me, so I grip him tighter, slamming him against the wall again, but harder this time.
“Alex!” I feel Tripp grip my shoulder and start pulling on it. “Stop! Please don’t fight.”
Catching me off guard, Lucas breaks free from the wall and shoves me, causing me to stumble backward into the kitchen island.
Out of instinct, I swing out, knocking him on his fucking ass.
He grabs for his jaw and looks up at me. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you insane, asshole?”
Before I can lose my shit, Tripp jumps in front of me and holds me back, afraid that I’ll hurt him. She knows how I get when I fight. She’s heard it all. “I said stop! Both of you.”
I swallow hard and clench my jaw, trying my best to keep my cool. Seeing him put his hands on her hurt like hell. I never want to see that shit again. She comes before everyone. I could care less about my past with Lucas. He can fuck off.
Tripp looks back and forth between the two of us. Suddenly she starts breathing heavily as if she’s having a panic attack. “I need to get out of here. Shit . . . I need to go. I just need to go.”
She rushes out of the kitchen. Everything in me wants to go after her, but I don’t want to do anything to trigger her even more. I couldn’t handle it if something were to happen to her.
I look down at Lucas on the ground, before forcing myself to leave the kitchen. If I stay . . . I will hurt his ass.
I shove the back door open and fight to catch my breath. I never wanted Tripp to have to see me this way. I’ve always done my best to keep her away when I had fights. I always told her about them, but never let her watch.
“Fuuuck!”
I’m outside for less than three minutes when I hear Tripp’s car start up and pull out of the driveway. My first instinct is to freak out, but I quickly stop myself. There’s only one place she’d be going if she needed to get away, and that is Tara’s.
I’ll give her a little time to calm down and then we need to talk. I need to apologize and tell her how I feel.
I need to tell her that I’m in love with her . . .
HAVING TRIPP WALK OUT THAT door has been one of the worst feelings of my entire life. I never thought I’d see the day that Tripp walked away from me, not wanting to be near me. It kills me, and I’m not afraid to admit that I can’t handle it.
It’s been four days now, and the longer that she’s gone the more it causes an ache in my chest. It feels so heavy that it sometimes feels hard to breathe. I feel like a piece of me is missing. The problem is, I know exactly what that piece is, but that piece isn’t ready to come back to me yet, and I’m afraid that forcing it will only push her further from my reach. I’m not willing to lose her forever.
I’m sitting at Monty’s by myself, checking my phone every few minutes to see if Tripp has responded to any of my messages yet. I asked her to meet me here so we could talk. It’s the one place that I thought she’d agree to.
Looking down at my phone I notice that there’s still no response, and my heart sinks for what seems like the millionth time since Tripp stormed away.
Slowly exhaling, I toss my phone into the wall beside me and run my hands through my hair, tugging. Suddenly, eating seems like the last thing I want to do, so I shove my plate aside, grab my cracked phone, and toss some cash on the table.
I’ve been sitting in that spot for three hours now and the disappointment that I feel can’t be denied. I can’t sit here anymore because it hurts too much. It’s pretty clear that she doesn’t want to see me right now.
Lost in hurt and anger at myself, as well as my idiotic decisions over the last few weeks, I drive home, grab my guitar, and play to myself for hours. It’s my only for sure escape.
Every so often I look over as if expecting Tripp to be there, listening beside me, but she’s not. I never thought there’d be a day that would happen, and I never want to feel the emptiness that it brings again.
I need to do something before it’s too late. I know that now more than ever . . .
I LOOK DOWN AT MY phone for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Seeing Alex’s unanswered message causes an ache in my chest that I can’t explain.
It kills me. I almost can’t take it, but I know that if I cave and see him now, it’s going to hurt way too much when we realize that we need to move on and put the last few weeks behind us. I’m not ready for that disappointment and I’m afraid that what’s left of my heart will die.
Running my fingers over his message, I click reply and stop to stare at the screen. I stare at it for a while, trying to figure it out. How do I say no to Alex? How do I tell him that I’m not ready to lose him yet . . . or that I’m in love with him and can’t live without him?
I don’t. I can’t, so I toss my phone aside and bury myself under the blanket, holding back the cries that have been burning in the back of my throat all day. It feels raw.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly into the air. “So sorry.”
I never meant to lose you . . .
TRIPP HASN’T BEEN HOME IN eight days now. Eight fucking days! She hasn’t been at work either. I’ve been texting her pretty much every hour for the last few days, but all she’s been sending back are short, one worded answers. At least that’s an improvement from before. I hate that she feels she has to do that with me. It just shows me how truly confused and stressed out she must be feeling at the moment. I want to fix that, but she’s not giving me the chance right now, and I refuse to
tell her something this important over a fucking text message.
Lucas just walked in the door from work or who the fuck knows where. We haven’t spoken since that day and we have been working to avoid each other. He gets ready to walk into the kitchen but stops and grips the doorframe when he sees me standing shirtless, dripping with sweat.
I’m pretty sure he knows not to fuck with me right now.
“Tripp won’t answer her phone still. Good job, shithead.” He releases the doorframe and walks over to the fridge, pulling out a beer. “I’ve called her like ten damn times just today. Nothing. I have to hear her fucking voice on a recording.”
I steel my jaw and pour my bottled water over my head, not having shit to say. I have to admit that I’m happy to hear that she’s not answering for him.
He continues talking when he realizes that he’s about to have a one-sided conversation. “I had a feeling there was more to your friendship all along, but I needed to know before things between Tripp and I became serious.” He pauses to open his beer and tilt it back. He sets it down hard. “You might not believe it, but I love her too, dammit. I’ve given Tripp her damn space for the last twelve months, hoping that she would see me with other women and realize that she was ready to have me to herself. Not one time has she shown any kind of jealousy when it comes to me with another woman. Never.”
I shake my wet hair and grip the counter.
“I was jealous as shit to see you two together, but I had to know if I was right about you two. I needed to know if she loved you, and after that night I know for a fact that she does. She doesn’t love me, man. It sucks, but it’s mostly my fault. I guess it’s true what they say . . . Never let your girl have a male best friend.”
I tilt my head his way. He’s gripping his bottle so tightly that his knuckles are white.
“Alex fucking Carter,” he grumbles. “You’re the reason she was never ready in the first place. It was you that she was afraid of losing all along.”
His words cause my heart to ache. What if he’s right? What if she has been waiting all these years for me and I was the idiot, trying my best to keep myself from falling. I’m a fucking asshole.
Shit, Tripp . . . I’m an idiot.
I push away from the counter and look up at the clock to see that it’s past ten. Tara is probably in bed, ready to get up early for work in the morning. I need to see Tripp. Tonight.
I give Lucas one last look before gripping my shirt, throwing it on, and running out the door.
My truck is in reverse and pulling out of the driveway before I can fully think it through. This is something that needs to be said in person, and the idea of making her wait any longer is killing me.
All of the lights are off when I arrive in front of Tara’s house. Just like in the past, I jog over to the side of the house and reach for Tripp’s window to open it. I push up, but it doesn’t move.
“Fuck.”
She never locks her window. My stomach sinks and I find myself gripping my hair in frustration. I need to get to her and it seems as if she’s doing what she can to keep me away. A feeling of pain so deep rushes through me that I have the urge to punch something, but I don’t. I can’t lose my temper.
I glance over at Tara’s window and see that it’s opened a crack. Without a second thought, I push her window open and shove my leg through it.
Tara quickly sits up from bed and whisper yells my name once I get fully inside. “Alex!” She rubs her hands over her face and shakes her head at me. “It’s called the front door. The key is on your ring. It has been for years now. Give the window a rest and let me get my rest.”
I rush over to Tara, grab her head, and kiss the top of it. “Sorry, Tara. I need to see Tripp.”
Tara gives me an understanding look and smiles tiredly at me. “I’m glad you’re here,” she whispers. “Now get out of here. I have a lunch date tomorrow and I need all the beauty rest I can get.”
I grin at her. “Nah . . . you don’t need any.” Then I quickly rush out the bedroom door, making my way next door to Tripp’s room.
I stop and take a deep breath, before pushing her door open and stepping inside.
She’s sitting up on her bed, looking straight at me when I enter, as if she’s been waiting.
“Your window was locked,” I say gently.
She pulls her eyes away from me, and huffs. “I know. I just needed a little more time alone.” She jumps to her feet and throws her arms up. “I’m so fucking confused right now. I’m filled with so many emotions that I can’t figure out how to breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating, Alex. I can’t fucking breathe,” she cries.
I reach out to touch her face, but she turns away from me. It fucking kills me. “Tripp . . . we need to talk. I need to tell you–”
“Alex,” she cuts me off. “Can we wait until tomorrow? I just need tonight to really get all my thoughts together before I say or do something that I might regret for the rest of my life. I want you here . . .” She turns around and our eyes meet. I hate the pain I see in hers, but I have a feeling that mine are reflecting the same. “But it might not be the best right now. A lot has happened over the weeks. I think we both need this right now. I’m scared. So damn scared. Please understand.”
It hurts like hell, but I respect her with everything in me, and if she needs another night I will give it to her, but one night is all I’m willing to give. “Okay,” I whisper. I pull her into my arms and hold her for what feels like forever. My heart feels like it’s beating again for the first time in eight days. Then I kiss the top of her head, like I always do. “After I get off work tomorrow. I don’t need any more time to think. I know what I want and I’m coming to find you the minute I walk out that damn door.”
Pulling away, she looks up at me as I back away from her. “I’m not working tomorrow. I’m going with Tara on her lunch date and then I’m coming back here. I’ll be ready to talk. I promise.”
I nod my head and walk away before I can lose it and tell her everything that I’m dying to say right now. I gently close her door behind me, careful not to disturb Tara anymore tonight.
It’s going to be a bitch to get through work tomorrow . . .
“YO, DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK?” The skater-looking dude with blue hair that I’ve been working on pulls his arm away and sits up. “Do you need a break or something? You’re in a zombie zone or some shit. Don’t fuck my shit up.”
I take a deep breath and pull his arm back to its original position, not giving a shit if I piss him off at this point. “Hold still,” I say stiffly.
I swear if I don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to fucking lose it. I’ve been in this damn room for the last three hours, when all I really want to do is be in whatever room Tripp is.
I get distracted when my phone vibrates across the desk. It’s the second time in the last three minutes, and with each time I get more anxious, wondering if it’s Tripp.
“You need to get that, dude?”
Flexing my jaw, I set the gun down and pull my gloves off. “Give me a minute.”
“Whatever gets your head back in the game, bro. I’m going outside for a smoke.”
My heart skips a beat when I pick up my cell to see Tripp’s name flash across the screen. This is now the third time. That doesn’t sit well with me.
With my heart racing, I answer it. “Tripp, is everything–”
“Hello,” A voice that isn’t Tripp’s interrupts me. “Is this Alex?”
Feeling as if my hearts going to beat out of my chest, I grip the desk. “What the fuck is going on? Where’s Tripp?”
The girl on the other end is silent for a few seconds, causing my anxiety to grow.
“Answer me,” I growl into the phone. “Please.”
“I’m sorry. Your friend was involved in a car accident.” My heart fucking stops as she continues. “I found her phone in the car and dialed the last person that she talked to. She’s being loaded into the ambulance as we speak. I think she ma
y need you.”
“Fuck!” I start shaking as I reach for my keys and run out the door, still holding the phone. “Text me the name of which hospital they are taking her to.”
I shove the door open and rush past my client, not bothering to stop as he questions where the fuck I’m going.
All I can think about is losing Tripp. I can’t lose her. It’s taking everything in me right now not to break down and fucking cry. This is my worst nightmare. I need to get to her.
Not even a minute of being on the road and the message comes from Tripp’s phone telling me the name of which hospital she’s at.
Slamming down on the gas pedal, I drive as fast as I can for as long as I can, until traffic slows me down, bringing me to a complete stop.
“Fucking get out of my way!” I turn on my emergency flashers and punch the horn repeatedly, knowing damn well that it’s not going to do shit to get me there sooner.
Looking around me, I try to back out of traffic, but other cars start piling up behind me, blocking me in. This is when I really start to lose it.
“Fuck this . . .”
Opening my door, I jump out of my truck and start running, weaving my way through traffic. Cars start honking and yelling at me when they realize that I’m leaving my truck there, but I could care less. I think I even jumped over one of the cars. I can’t be sure, because everything is in a haze.
I run fifteen blocks, not stopping once to catch my breath, not even when I get to the hospital. Fuck my lungs. Fuck the pain burning in my chest. All I care about is getting to my woman.
Rushing inside, I grip the desk and yell out Tripp’s name. “Tripp Daniels!” I fight to catch my breath as the woman starts typing her name into the computer. “Hurry!” I yell, getting impatient.
“I’m sorry, sir.” The woman looks up from the computer. “Her name is not listed here. I checked twice.”
I slam my fist down, starting to lose my shit even more. “Check again.”
The woman swallows and gives me a sympathetic look. “I understand your worry, sir, but I can assure you her name is not listed.”
Something For The Pain Page 18
