My cell phone buzzes on the bed beside me. I grab it and then look down at the number on the screen. My heart pauses for a beat.
“Hello?” Aubrey doesn’t answer on her end of the line. Fuck! Did she butt-dial me? “Are you there?”
“Hey. Yeah. I’m here,” she answers quietly.
“I’m glad you called, I wanted to say I’m sorry for not calling you back that night. I know how that looks, and I apologize.” Whether she accepts it or not, it feels good to get it off my chest. “Relationships aren’t something I’m used to doing, so I’m afraid I’m not very good at them.”
She sighs into the phone. “I’m sorry too for not giving you a chance to explain yourself. I don’t want to get hurt.”
My stomach clenches. “That’s exactly why I distanced myself. I’m not a good person, Kitten. You deserve better than me.”
“How do you know that? I could be the biggest bitch you’ve ever met.”
“No you’re not. I’ve spent enough time with you to know you’re exactly the opposite.”
“Zach…I’m not a very good person either. I set out to use you.”
A sharp pain around my heart only hurts for a second. “I know, but you cared more about me in those two days than any other woman I’ve ever been with.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “My own mother didn’t even care enough about me to ask how I felt about my sister’s death, yet you tried.”
It sounds worse when I say the things that play through my mind out loud, but it’s true. Mom hated me until the day she died. It was hard enough dealing with what I did without having my own family loathe me.
Aubrey’s quiet for a few moments and I wonder if I’ve freaked her out with all my self-hate. Finally, she says, “That’s terrible you had to not only deal with the loss of your sister, but a strained relationship with your parents. I don’t understand how she could’ve been so cold to you knowing you were only sixteen years old. Did they not realize you’d be hurting, too?”
This is the part I never want to talk about. But, seeing as how I’ve already opened myself up to her and she’s still talking to me, I figure what the hell? She might as well judge me for the real me fully. One of the biggest things in any relationship is trust. I need to be able to trust that she’s okay with the real me, evil parts and all.
I swallow hard. “She did that because she blamed me.”
“Why would she blame you?” Aubrey’s voice is calm, like she’s not sure what she got herself into.
It’s too much, too soon. I have to back off so I don’t freak her out any more than I already have. “It’s really not a big deal. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”
Another awkward pause on her end indicates to me she’s getting scared off. I start to open my mouth to apologize for dropping all my emotional baggage shit on her, but quickly shut it when she starts speaking again. “I am actually calling for a favor.”
I raise my eyebrow. “So this call wasn’t just about us?”
She clears her throat. “No, but I’m glad we talked. I like that you’ve opened up to me.”
“I’m waiting for the day when you figure out what a piece of shit I really am and tell me to fuck off for good.”
“Zach…I really wish you didn’t think so poorly of yourself. You’re an awesome person and friend. I mean, you warned Lanie about the baby situation. I wish you could see what I see.”
“What do you see?” Is it too much to hope that I may actually have a shot with this woman?
“A good person, like I told you before.”
It’s been a long time since someone other than Trip believed in me so much, and it feels fucking awesome. If it weren’t for Trip over the past few years, I probably wouldn’t be alive. I want things to work with Aubrey. I need her around. I’ll do anything to prove to her that I’ll treat her right.
“So what’s the favor you needed from me?”
“I want to get Noel and Lanie back together. She’s miserable without him. Do you think you can arrange a time for them to meet up?”
I rest my hand on my bare chest and close my eyes. I still feel like total shit for not believing Noel and not seeing through Sophie’s lies. Helping Aubrey arrange a meeting for them is the least I can do to start making it up to him. “We’re playing a small bar in Columbus tomorrow night called the A&R Music Bar. A crowd of only three hundred—a completely acoustic set. She can get to us easily. I’ll hook her up with a pass.” I smile. “Tell her it will be under Long-Dick Dong.”
Kitten laughs. “Any particular reason for the name other than…”
I smile and then flick my lip ring over my teeth. “I knew you liked me for my body.”
“Well…it is pretty nice.”
I raise my pierced eyebrow. “Nice? Maybe I gave you the wrong impression last time. Why don’t you let me come visit you while Lanie’s away and show you how un-nice I can be.”
“I think I like the sound of that.”
The thought alone of being buried deep inside her makes my cock throb. As soon as the Columbus show is over, we’re scheduled for a break and I know exactly where I’m heading.
AUBREY
I sit on Lanie’s bed and watch her fold the last of her shirts and stuff into her suitcase. The remnants of the story she told me yesterday still hold fresh in my mind. “I can’t believe you quit!”
She smiles as she tosses another shirt into the bag. “Believe it. That woman’s a tyrant.”
I poke my bottom lip out. Even though I know her telling the owner of our company to stuff it was the right thing to do, I still don’t want her to leave. “You sure you can’t stay here? There are a thousand other jobs in this city other than marketing.”
Lanie zips up her suitcase. “I love marketing. That’s where my heart lies. It sucks that I can’t stay here with you, but going back home will be good. Mom misses me like crazy, and I can find a job in Houston or something.” She sets her bag on the floor and pulls up the handle until it clicks. “I think I’m all set.”
I step around the bed and wrap my arms around her neck. Lanie leans into me and sniffs. I close my eyes. I hate that she’s leaving, but I know this is right for her and her life. I rub her back and try to reassure her. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie. You and Noel can finally have your happily ever after.”
She squeezes me tight. “I don’t know if we can. The entire time we’ve been fighting over him getting a girl pregnant, he asked me not to leave him—to let him show me I wasn’t second to him. Then at the first sign of a problem in our relationship, I ran. I don’t know if he’ll forgive me for walking away from him a second time.”
I pat the back of her head. She still doesn’t see that man can never stay mad at her. “Sure he will. True love can get through anything. You’ll see.” I pull back and wipe away a couple fallen tears. “Go on, before I decide to hold you hostage here.”
She frowns. “You sure you’re going to be all right by yourself?”
I sniff and then smile, hoping to lighten the mood. “Are you kidding? Now I can have all the wild sex parties I want with you gone. Maybe I can even get Riff to visit.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’ll tell him you miss his…”
I smack her arm. “Don’t you dare tell him that, no matter how true it is. That boy has one giant—”
She shoves her index fingers in her ears. “La! La! La! La! Not listening to you!”
I laugh. “Go on smartass, before you miss your flight. Riff says the pass to get into the V.I.P show for tonight will be at the door under Long-Dick Dong?”
She shakes her head. “Those guys really love giving that pseudonym. I’m so glad to hear he and Noel are working things out since Mike finally told them the truth.”
I sigh. “Me too. I can’t believe that bitch would do that to them. Doesn’t she know she nearly destroyed one of the greatest rock bands ever?”
“Love makes people do insane
things, Aubrey. Look at me. I’m traveling cross-country to apologize to a man I’m not even sure wants me anymore. He’s not called once in the last couple days since he learned the truth. This is probably a mistake.”
I push her long, brown hair over her shoulder. “The only mistake when it comes to love, is not going for it.”
As I say those words I realize that’s some pretty sound advice and wonder why I’ve been too stupid to take it myself.
****
The next couple of days drag on without Lanie. Sure, I missed her before, but I knew she was coming back so it wasn’t as bad. Now, with her gone for good, I’m completely alone in this big city, with only my co-workers who don’t speak to me much.
“Hey, Aubrey. You got a second?” Isaac asks from his doorway.
I nod. “Sure.”
I pick up my notepad and head into his office behind him. Isaac sits in the chair opposite his desk and gestures for me to take the one next to him. I look down at the legal pad in my hand. Something tells me I really didn’t need this.
Isaac clears his throat. “I wanted to check in with you and see if you’ve thought about what we talked about the other day?”
I twist my lips. “I’m not sure I follow you.”
“About us?”
I tense a little in my seat as it suddenly clicks I’m kind of playing two men. I’m not a woman that does that, at least, not intentionally. Things with Zach have gotten more complicated since I went out and grabbed a drink with Isaac and stated trying out the idea of dating him.
How can I tell Isaac I’m just not that into him without making things tense for me here at work?
I sigh. “Right now isn’t a good time for me to date anyone.”
He rubs his chin and glances down at the floor. “Fair enough. I hope we can still remain friends?”
I smile. “Friends it is.”
He thrusts his hand out to me and I give it a firm couple of shakes after I stand. “Guess we should get back to work then.”
Isaac frowns as I let go and turn towards the door. I feel terrible for hurting his feelings, but it’s better than leading him on more when my heart isn’t fully in it.
I halt mid-step the moment my eyes land on my desk chair. Zach sits in it, with his long legs stretched out and his hands behind his head. His full lips pull into a slow grin the moment our eyes meet. I allow my eyes to rake over him. The dark jeans fit snuggly around his powerful thighs and his hair pokes up at the ceiling in true Riff style. He looks just as good as I remembered.
I glance around and notice all my female co-workers watching us intently. I’m sure their curious what this tattooed man is doing making himself at home in my seat.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper harshly as I walk over to him.
He shrugs with his head still propped up. “I had a little time off, so I decided to come see my favorite girl.”
I walk over to my desk and throw my paper and pen down. “And you decided to come here while I’m working. Why didn’t you text me and let me know that you were coming?”
“I didn’t want to give you a chance to tell me not to come. Once I was in the cab, I told the driver to bring me here.”
I glance nervously over my shoulder. All I need is for Isaac to see me with another man after I told him I didn’t want to date anyone right now. “Where are you staying? After work I’ll come visit you.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “I planned on staying with you since I know Lanie isn’t there.”
Great. “Zach, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He shrugs again. “Okay then, I’ll sit here with you until you get off work and you can come help me find a hotel. It’s nearly four, so you won’t be much longer, right?”
I run my hand through my hair. I hate being bullied into situations. “All right, fine. If you promise to go right now so I don’t get into trouble with my boss, you can stay with me.”
Zach’s grin gets even wider as he stands. “Where do you live?”
I snatch a scrap piece of paper off my desk and write down my address. “I’ll meet you there at five fifteen.”
He takes the paper from me. “How will I get in?”
I walk around him and open my bottom desk drawer. After retrieving my keys from my purse, I hand them to Zach. “Go ahead and make yourself at home until I get there and leave it unlocked for me. I have the feeling we’ll need to have a little chat about the boundaries of our friendship.”
He pushes himself up from the chair and stands before me. We’re so close I can feel heat radiating from his body. He pushes a strand of my hair off my cheek and my breath catches. “We certainly do.” I swallow hard as he steps back and grabs his bag off the floor. “I’ll see you later.”
As soon as he’s out of sight I plop down in my chair and rub my temples. I remember he mentioned coming to New York last time we spoke on the phone, but I thought he was joking. I’m not angry he’s here or anything. I don’t like being caught off guard, especially where I work.
I sigh. Will I ever be able to figure this man out?
Chapter 16
RIFF
Okay, so surprising her didn’t go exactly like I’d planned. I wasn’t expecting a Hollywood sap where she runs into my arms in happy tears, but I was at least expecting a smile. It was like she was embarrassed I was there, which stung a little. I know I’m not exactly clean-cut, but I’m not horrid or anything. Maybe she’s more uptight than I thought.
“Go on up, sir,” Aubrey’s doorman says after he calls her to confirm I’m allowed in. I guess all the tattoos make me seem a little intimidating and untrustworthy.
Once I’m on the correct floor I track down her apartment number and then let myself in with the key. I pull my sunglasses off my face, glancing around the small space. The kitchen and living room are practically in the same room, which is typical for places in the city. There’s a large brown couch in the middle of the room and three blue doors to my right. I set my bag inside and shut the door behind me.
It smells nice in here, like some sort of apple scent. I can totally tell this is a girl’s place. I haven’t stayed in a place that’s had a woman’s touch in a long time.
My ringtone echoes around the room. I pull the phone out of my pocket.
Shit. A call from him is never good.
“Yeah?” I say into the receiver after hitting talk.
“Don’t yeah me you little shit. I’m your father. You give me some respect when I talk to you,” he slurs into the phone.
I clench my fist. “What do you want?”
“I need more money.”
Fuck me. “You went through thirty thousand dollars in less than two weeks?”
He laughs bitterly into the phone. “Well, since I have to take care of all the bills by myself since your mother isn’t here that chump change you call a paycheck you send doesn’t last long.”
I rub my forehead vigorously. “Do you have any idea how much fucking money that is? What did you spend it on?”
“I spent a weekend in Vegas. Next time I’m going on vacation you need to send me more money.”
“I’m not sending you anymore,” I growl.
“You will send me more money or I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” I fire back. “There’s nothing you can do to me. Not anymore. Your threats of beating my ass no longer scare me. I’ve done nothing to you!”
“Other than kill my wife and daughter! You’re a murdering son of a bitch, Zachary! You owe me money because you took away my life. If you hadn’t done what you did they’d both still be alive. How do you expect me to deal with all this and work? I can’t and it’s your fault. That’s why you send me the goddamn money.”
Tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. “Fine. I’ll send you two million dollars and then we’re fucking done. Forever. You get me? Totally forget my fucking number.”
“No problem. Send me the money and you’ll never hear from me again.” His voice al
most sounds giddy and it makes me sick to my stomach.
How can he be so excited to exploit their deaths? It’s fucking sick.
“Great. I’ll have my accountant wire it to your account,” I say and then hang up the phone.
Two million dollars is a small price to pay if he keeps him off my back.
Anger pulses through my veins. I raise my foot and shove the small brown coffee table across the room. It crashes into another small stand holding a lamp and it falls to the floor shattering against the hardwood floor.
I lean back against the wall and slide down it. It’s times like these I wish I was dead, too. Sometimes life is too fucking hard and I can’t even deal. I stretch my legs out in front of me and stare up at the white ceiling.
Why did my life have to turn out this way? I never imagined as a kid I would end up like this—a broken piece of a man. No one ever says when they grow up they want to be known as the reason their mom and sister died.
The tears I’ve been trying so hard to hold back drip down my face. I hug my knees into my chest and rest my forehead on them.
The deadbolt clicks and I jerk my head up as the door opens. My heart stops in my chest the moment Aubrey comes into view.
Fuck.
She’s the last person I ever wanted to see me in one of these states. She’ll never want to be with me if she sees how unstable I am with my emotions.
I flick the tears off my cheeks and quickly stand up as she takes inventory of the destroyed room. “Hey. I’m sorry about the mess. I’ll totally clean it up and replace all the broken stuff.”
She glances at my face and then touches my cheek with her fingertips, whipping away a residual tear. “What happened? Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah. It’s fine. I was on the phone with my dad. He has a way of getting under my skin.”
She frowns. “Is it about money again?”
Rock My Bed Page 15
