She sobered. “They could have turned everything around with one word of welcome to you.”
“Maybe when the shock wears off. For now you and I have other matters to take care of. I’ll run over to the lodge and check back in, then drop by the resort office to let Maureen know I’m ready to start work on Monday. After that, we’ll go out for dinner and celebrate our engagement. How does that sound?”
“Like you’re not going to be back here soon enough to suit me.” She flung her arms around his waist. “Every time you walk out of a door, I’m afraid I won’t see you again. I know that sounds paranoid, but I can’t help it.
“The other night when I went to the lodge and couldn’t find you, I almost went out of my mind. Until the clerk assured me you hadn’t checked out, I was afraid you’d decided to just leave Gardiner early.
“Even when he told me you had to be somewhere around, I was terrified I might not see you slip in, and then you’d be gone from me forever.”
She tried to fight tears, but they spilled down her face anyway. “I couldn’t take it if that happened. Not now.”
“Do you think I could?” he demanded emotionally. His hands cupped her face before he kissed her with exquisite tenderness. “I gave up a whole other life for you. I did it of my own free will and volition because you fulfill something in me I could never experience otherwise.
“I know our path won’t always be smooth. There will be stormy moments, but I swear before God we’ll make it through the good and the bad times because we’ve found a love too rare to be denied.
“I love you, Sydney. I need you in ways you can’t imagine. Don’t ever give up on me.”
His body strained against her. He was trembling. It filled her with awe the way his vulnerability caused him to cling.
“Oh, darling. As if I could.”
He made a sound in his throat. “You used to whisper that endearment to me in my dreams. To hear you say it aloud—to me—”
For this strong, fantastic man to reveal some of his deepest secrets, even for a moment, catapulted her love to achingly new heights.
She wasn’t naive. She knew there were other secrets. Maybe he’d share them one day, maybe not.
“Never be afraid to tell me anything, Jarod. The only thing that could hurt us would be for you to hold back.”
He grasped her hands. “That works both ways, Sydney. In our special case, honesty will be the crucial ingredient, no matter what.”
Sydney nodded. “No matter what,” she repeated against his lips.
His cell phone unexpectedly rang, resounding off the walls of the living room. He kissed the tip of her well-shaped nose before answering it. The caller ID indicated it was Rick.
Jarod clicked on. “You’re just the person I wanted to talk to. I’m now an officially engaged man.”
“I know.”
Rick’s comment caused his smile to fade.
Sally—
“The diocese grapevine travels fast.”
“She caught the sparkler on your fiancée’s finger. That set off fireworks.”
Of course.
“I’m glad. It had to come out sometime.”
“Where are you?”
“In Gardiner.”
“Good.”
His one syllable word said it all. The fallout had started. “Thanks for alerting me, Rick. I’ll call you later.”
Before he’d clicked off, Sydney was right there hugging the life out of him.
Hold on to me, Sydney.
CHAPTER SEVEN
AFTER UNPACKING, Sydney showered before settling down to make some preparations for the first day of class. Incredible to believe that for the rest of her life, she and Jarod would have each other to come home to at the end of the day.
Last weekend she’d been in California in a state of despair, barely functional because the man she loved could never be hers. So much had changed since then, she couldn’t relate to that desolate person.
Her gaze rested on the ring he’d pushed home on her finger. The blue-white diamond glinted up at her. He took pleasure in everything to do with their relationship. It shouldn’t have surprised her he’d insisted on buying her a ring.
When he’d taken vows of celibacy, he’d rejected the worldly pleasures in order to be a more committed servant. But because the course of his life had taken a dramatic turn to the opposite end of the spectrum, it was only natural that he savored each step along the way.
In that regard, Sydney needed to be sensitive to his wants and moods. He didn’t have the same support group anymore. As well as being his companion and lover, she realized she would be his number one fan from here on out.
He’d said he needed her. In his case, it was particularly true. But he would never need her with the same intensity she needed him. She planned to lavish him with so much love, he’d drown in it.
Finding it impossible to concentrate on schoolwork, Sydney left everything on the kitchen table and went into the bedroom to get dressed for dinner.
After changing her mind half a dozen times, she eventually chose to wear her favorite oyster-colored silk blouse with a coffee-toned skirt. At five feet eight, she didn’t always wear heels, but she didn’t have to worry about being too tall around someone of Jarod’s height.
A flick of the brush and a light floral spray was all she needed to feel totally feminine for the incredible man who would become her husband soon.
Trembling with excitement, she paced the floor waiting for him to arrive. After several hours of being apart from him, she discovered she couldn’t stand the slightest separation.
When he arrived at her door, he had a distinctive rap that made her smile with pleasure. She raced to open it, and there he was in all his male splendor. With his black hair and those flame-green eyes, the cream-colored sweater and matching chinos provided the perfect foil.
She detected the scent of the soap he’d used in the shower. Mixed with her own fragrance, the combined aroma acted as a special kind of aphrodisiac which increased her desire for him.
Helpless in the face of his overwhelming attraction, she could only murmur his name. No other words would come in her mesmerized state. Her pulse raced from his thorough scrutiny of her face and figure.
“I made reservations at the Moose Lodge dining room, but now that I’m here, I don’t want to share you with anyone.”
Her breath caught. “I feel the same.”
“Stop looking at me that way,” he begged. “Otherwise I’m going to have to leave town until the wedding.”
“You wouldn’t—” she cried, horrified at the very thought, insecurity still nagging at her.
He drew her into his arms and nuzzled her neck. “You know better than that.”
She shook her head, still quivering in reaction. “No, I don’t.”
“I was only teasing you, darling.”
Sydney raised anguished eyes to him. “Please don’t do that to me yet. This is all too new, and you’re too precious to me.”
His eyes narrowed on her mouth before he bestowed one wine-dark kiss after another. They caused her to lose all sense of time and place. Jarod had to be the one who held her up when her legs almost gave away.
“I think we need to get married as soon as possible. When I was at the motel, I talked to the pastor. He’s free to marry us this coming Saturday or the next. We can get a license tomorrow.”
The mention of the clergyman dissipated a little of her euphoria. “If you’ve contacted him because you think it’s what I want, then we need to talk about it because I want what you want. Is there no Catholic priest who would officiate? I’d be willing to do that.”
He grasped her shoulders. “I adore you for your unselfishness, but it wouldn’t be possible.”
“Why? Even if you left the priesthood, you’re still a member.”
“I’d rather it was someone who will concentrate on you and me, not our religious affiliations.”
She stared at him for a long time. Th
ough he’d just shaved, she could detect the faint shadow of his stubble. It made him incredibly appealing.
“Did you ever fantasize about marrying me at the church in Cannon?”
A small nerve throbbed along his jaw. “Yes.”
She’d wanted honesty.
“You meant it about taking our children to church.”
His chest rose and fell visibly. “Yes,” he said again with equal fervor. “Since you accompanied Brenda to Mass on occasion, I assumed you wouldn’t have a problem going to a church of our mutual choosing with the children. It’s a great place for them to socialize and make friends.
“If I was wrong about that, I need to know how you feel about my taking them.”
She couldn’t believe they were even having such a serious conversation. Tonight they were supposed to be celebrating their engagement. But since she’d brought up the subject, she had no right to be upset.
“There’s plenty of time for us to talk about this after we’re married and have a baby.”
He flashed her an enigmatic glance. “That’s the time most couples get around to it. But by then emotions are running high. What’s upsetting you, Sydney?”
How could she forget Jarod was a counselor by profession, and a superior judge of human nature by virtue of his innate intelligence? On top of that he’d been a priest whom people had sought out to help them resolve domestic disputes.
“Whatever is bothering me is my problem, not yours. I’m so ashamed. Forgive me, Jarod. Let’s go to dinner.”
He shook his dark head. “Not yet. I’m aware you were raised by two strong-willed parents who were united in their core beliefs. No doubt I’ve come off sounding too much like them.”
Jarod had figured it out a lot sooner than she had.
She averted her eyes. “You’re going to wish you’d never met me.”
“Don’t ever say that again.” He crushed her to him. “You have to understand I’m deathly afraid of failing you or any children we might have. I’ve often thought I had the easier life as a priest. No wife to consult, no children to be a role model for.
“Then I met you and realized I craved the comfort only a woman can bring. Every time I played sports with the kids, I found myself wishing one of them were my own son or daughter. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
She threw her arms around his neck. “Yes, darling. And you’re right about children and church. Every child should be so lucky to have two parents who care enough to take them. We’ll do it.” She kissed his jaw. “Be patient with me. I was an only child. You’ve got your work cut out.”
Rich male laughter suddenly poured out of Jarod. She’d never heard him sound like that before. A subtle transformation was taking place. She loved what was happening with every fiber of her being.
Ten minutes later the hostess at the Moose Lodge dining room showed them to a table next to a bank of picture windows looking out over the pines. The attractive redhead couldn’t take her eyes off Jarod.
“Are you a new ranger?” She handed them menus, but her whole focus, like the other females in the room, was caught up in him. No other man in the room had his extraordinary looks or charisma.
“No. My fiancée and I are celebrating our engagement tonight.”
The other woman had some difficulty covering her disappointment. “Would you like champagne?”
One of his dark brows lifted. “Sydney?”
“No, thank you.”
“It appears neither of us will be having any.”
“Then I’ll send a waiter over. Enjoy your meal.”
“Thank you. We will,” Jarod murmured, smiling straight into Sydney’s eyes.
“Would you have preferred some wine?” he asked after she’d gone.
“I don’t like alcohol of any kind. I got sick on it one time between flights when I was a stewardess. It cured me.”
He grasped her hand to examine the diamond in the candlelight. Then he darted her a piercing glance. “I developed an early aversion to it when I came home from high school and found my mother passed out on the bed in the middle of the day.
“She’s a beautiful woman. I get my black hair from her. To see her lying there so hung over she had no idea what time of day it was, and worse, didn’t care because my father had been unfaithful to her—something died inside of me.”
The waiter chose that moment to bring Chateaubriand for two. When he walked off, Jarod finished talking.
“What I wanted her to do was get up, sober up, and leave him. But she couldn’t do it. I thought it was so simple. All she had to do was stop drinking and everything would become clear to her.
“It took years of study at graduate school to understand how complex every human is. Certainly I wasn’t capable of fixing their problems or getting her to do something about her alcoholism.”
“What a helpless feeling for you, Jarod.”
“It was, but if one good thing came out of it, I determined never to drink again. If the tendency truly runs in the genes, I didn’t want to take the chance of becoming addicted.”
“I can understand that,” she commiserated. “I saw a lot of drinking go on in college. Some people can handle it, but those who can’t— Well, I’m just thankful that my experience turned me off.”
He smiled at her.
“What?” she asked, intrigued.
“The discussions we’ve been having. The whole time we knew each other in Cannon, we couldn’t probe or act too interested.”
“Don’t remind me,” She groaned.
“It’s like we’re both babies learning new things about each other as fast as we can.”
“Thank goodness we aren’t!” she cried. “If I had to wait for you to grow up, I’d go mad.”
His burst of laughter infected her, making her realize she’d never been so happy in her life.
“Speaking of going mad, what date shall we choose to get married? Next Saturday, or the following one?”
She took a fortifying breath. “I guess I’m hoping that if we put it off one week, it will give someone in your family enough time to consider coming.”
“Miracles do happen. Maybe even your parents will have a change of heart and decide to join us.”
“By then Gilly and Alex will be back.”
“Then it’s settled.”
She nodded. “Do you think you’ll enjoy working at AmeriCore?”
“Yes. It’ll be like serving the parish, except that the numbers are bigger. Maureen told me they have 3,000 employees. That translates to a lot of workplace problems. I’m going to feel right at home.”
He said it as if he meant it, but Sydney knew it wouldn’t be the same for him. After being everyone’s spiritual advisor for the last ten years, he was going to miss that special bond.
It made her nervous to think about it, but short of going to Europe as he’d once mentioned, she was grateful this counseling position was available.
“Sydney?” a familiar male voice spoke from behind her chair, jerking her out of her reverie.
She turned her head. “Larry— Hi!”
His eyes glommed onto the diamond on her left hand. He grinned. “It seems you’ve been holding out on everyone since you resigned. I want an introduction to the man who managed to pull off the impossible.”
Gentle laughter escaped her throat. She loved the big burly ranger. “Larry Smith, meet my fiancé Jarod Kendall. Darling?” Her eyes lit up. “Larry is the chief security officer for the park.”
Jarod had gotten to his feet. The two men shook hands, taking stock of each other.
She looked around. “Is your wife with you?”
“Not tonight. I’ve been in Gardiner on official business with the sheriff. We decided to enjoy a meal.”
“If you’re not busy now, why don’t you join us?” Jarod suggested.
“Maybe for a few minutes. Thanks.”
Even if Jarod hadn’t liked the ranger right off, he would have issued the invitation. She had to remember
her husband-to-be was a people person whose capacity to include everyone made him an outstanding friend and confidant to the people who knew him.
Larry pulled a chair from the other table and made a place for himself. The waiter came by and took his order for coffee. He studied Jarod for a minute.
“You have to be the best kept secret this side of the Continental Divide.”
“That’s because Sydney only knew me when I was an ordained priest in North Dakota,” he stated boldly. “We had no personal relationship until I decided to leave the priesthood to marry her, but she didn’t know about it until last week.”
Larry digested the news with commendable aplomb. “How long did you serve?”
“Ten years.”
He whistled before eyeing her. “The mystery has unfolded.”
“What do you mean?”
“No guy could ever get to first base with you. Now I know why.” He turned to Jarod. “You’re getting the best of the best in Sydney.”
His words warmed her heart. “Thank you, Larry.”
“I knew it the first time we met.” Jarod’s voice sounded husky.
“I guess you do if you left for her. Good for you.”
Sydney blinked in surprise at his reaction.
“I’ve been a Catholic all my life, but if you don’t mind my saying, I’ve always felt sorry for the priests.”
“I could never mind honesty like that,” Jarod commented. “Celibacy is against man’s nature, but many of the priests have learned to deal with it. I thought I had until Sydney came along.”
Larry smiled at her. “She kind of has that effect on men. Congratulations to both of you. When’s the wedding?”
“A week from Saturday.”
“Where?”
“At the nondenominational church in Ennis,” Sydney supplied.
“Is it going to be a totally private affair?”
She eyed Jarod, silently asking him what he wanted. The answer came when he said, “Sydney and I would be honored if you and your wife would like to attend.”
Larry nodded. “We’ll be there. What time?”
Excited she said, “I’ll phone you and Chief Archer as soon as we’ve worked out the details. Gilly doesn’t even know about it yet, but we’ll want her and Alex there, too.”
Meant-To-Be Marriage Page 10
