by K Larsen
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Copyright 2013 K. Larsen
To Amanda for always making me laugh. I’d totally have your spite baby…
COLIN
Colin,
If you’re reading this I trust you’ve met Mr. Jowett and I’m gone. I’m so sorry. There are things that I couldn’t tell you. Things that I thought would change the way you see me, the way you feel about me. I’ve learned to always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last forever, yet, I didn’t tell you how I felt, so let me start with that...
You are my heart, every breath I breathe. I’m safe when I’m in your arms. Where I’m weak, you’re strong. I love you because you have given me no choice but to. You took the time to memorize me my fears, my hopes and dreams and you’ll never understand how much that means to me. Please know my heart is in your hands. It's nothing that I understand, because until you I’ve never felt this way... but in your arms you have complete power over me. I love you Colin.
My name was Elle Parks, my father owned Parks Industries. I know what you’re thinking...yes, that Parks Industries. When I told you I had money, I meant a lot of it. After my sister’s death I was lost. I couldn't stand Ryan and I couldn't see any way out. The night he hit me I got in my car and left. I drove down the road and purposely drove my car into a tree in an attempt to end my life. I woke up four days later in the hospital psychiatric ward. Ryan got power of attorney in order to keep me committed, in order to have access to all my inheritance. Seven months after being trapped in there I escaped... and that basically brings us current to when we met. I’m sure Joe has filled you in on what he’s trying to do. I’m not crazy Colin. I swear I’m not crazy. I don't know if I’ll see you again. I don’t know how this ends but I wanted to tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I hope you can forgive my omissions. I hope I’ll see you again. I can’t imagine my world without you in it.
Love Elle xoxo
I fold the worn letter like a map, putting it back into my wallet where it’s been every day since I got it. I must have read it a thousand times by now. Every thought of her name is
like a hand to an open flame. The unwanted events of that night burned in my memory.
I had come back to the cottage to find the door open. The panic and dread that had filled me almost knocked the wind out of me. Elle’s purse sat on the kitchen counter and there was blood on the kitchen floor. Not a ton of blood but blood nonetheless. Retracing my steps and screaming for Elle I noticed more blood in the entryway just before the door. My heart had beaten so frantically that I clutched my chest to make sure it wasn't ripping through my ribs. Elle was gone. Elle had struggled. There was blood. I tagged my phone from my pocket and had called Jenna first hoping that she was there. That she was safe. She wasn't. Rage tore through me and I’d punched a hole in the bathroom door. I was frantic and wild with distress. Jenna had immediately hung up, called the police and Ben, and come over.
Ben and Jenna arrived at the same time followed shortly by the police to find me a sobbing wreck in the living room. I had failed her when she needed me most. The guilt of that swallowed me up whole and tore me apart. Jenna had managed to console me long enough to tell the police what I knew, which wasn't much.
By the time the cottage was taped off as a crime scene it dawned on me that Elle had given me her lawyer’s card. With shaking hands I had retrieved it, dialed and told Mr. Joe Jowett what had happened. He immediately got to work filling paperwork and setting up court dates. It wasn’t until the next morning when I went in to meet him had he filled me in on what the hell was going on. Ben, John, Jenna and I had stayed at my apartment that night worrying, crying and consoling each other. No one slept more than a few hours.
“Can you come in this morning Colin?” Joe’s voice had asked. When the phone had rung I’d leapt across the room for it hoping it was Elle.
“Mr. Jowett?”
“Yes. We need to speak.”
“What time?”
“Now if you can come.” His voice sounded urgent so I’d hung up the phone and rushed to his office leaving my friends at my place with no answers. Joe was clean shaven, dressed well and pulled together. He clearly didn't lose any sleep and it irritated me. I may have shaken his hand a little more firmly than friendly.
“Colin, Elle gave me this to give to you should this situation we’re in ever arise. I think you should take a moment and read it before we continue.” The off white envelope he held out to me scared me more than anything. I had taken it, read it and then read it again. I was shocked. My Elle was Elle Parks. Quiet, funny, stunning Elle was one of the richest women in the state. It made no sense. The fact that she admitted a suicide attempt didn’t jar me as much as it would have had she not written who her family was. Being committed and held hostage there by her husband because of who she was made my blood boil bitterness. Elle was the most giving person I knew. If she had withheld her inheritance from Ryan it had to have been for good reason.
“Are you alright?” Joe had asked.
“Parks...is she really Elle Parks?” I mumbled absentmindedly.
“Yes. I have to be honest, Elle was more concerned that you’d take issue to the suicide and psychiatric ward stay.” He had eyed me like I was the crazy person.
“I’m sorry. I just... Elle wasn't crazy. Maybe sad. She was so sad when we first met, but she came out of it.” I explained. “It’s more shocking that she’s loaded. I had no idea.”
“Well, there are things we need to discuss now that you have the basics.”
I had spent several hours with Joe learning the ins and outs of what he was up against. Elle would need character witnesses proving she showed no signs over the last month of being a danger to herself or mentally unstable. I assured him that including myself there were four people who could attest to that who’d spent the majority of their time with her over the last month. We had the police report on our side as well. Joe seemed hopeful that because of the report documenting a struggle and being taken against her will that we had more than a leg to stand on.
“Colin, four days ago when Elle delivered that letter to me, she had me amend her will again.”
“Ok.” I had stated unsure of where he was going with this.
“In the event of Elle’s death she’s left nothing to Ryan. He of course has no idea and is functioning under the assumption that if she dies or if he retains power of attorney, he becomes a very rich man.”
“So he’s a threat?”
“He has motive currently.” He nods. “Elle’s wishes clearly state however that she does not want him apprised of the changes to her will.”
“Why? Why wouldn't she want him to know? Wouldn't that solve everything? He could divorce her, leave her alone... if he knew there was nothing in it for him.” I can’t believe Elle would put, no keep herself in danger knowingly.
“I’m not at liberty to say, but I wanted you to be aware of the power Ryan thinks he holds currently.”
“When can I see her? Have you found her yet?” My irritation consumes me as I badger him with questions. I need to see her. Tal
k to her. Get answers.
“I haven’t located her yet but I’ll keep you in the loop as soon as I get any news.”
He’d stood, shook my hand and walked me to the elevators. “Colin, one more thing. Clear out her cottage, be sure to grab the deposit bag in the closet. She’s instructed me to tell you that there is a hefty sum of cash there and it is yours to keep.”
I felt cold and numb. I still didn’t know if Elle was safe or not, if she was okay. The situation was complete limbo still and it left me uneasy and distressed. Why would I need her money? “Uh, ok.” Was the only response my mouth allowed me as I stepped into the elevator.
Arriving back at home, Jenna, Ben and John assaulted me with questions the second I’d stepped through the door. I’d handed the letter to Jenna to read aloud as I collapsed on the couch unable to focus my thoughts. By the time she’d finished reading the letter she was sobbing and Ben was doing his best to console her. The information shocked us all to the core. Things made sense now though, her hesitation in the beginning, her comments about having money and not letting me pay for things.
“I have to pack up her stuff.” I blurted to no one in particular.
“I’ll help you.” Jenna offered up.
Sure as shit the deposit bag tucked away in Elle’s closet held at least forty thousand dollars in cash. Jenna had dropped onto the bed staring at it in awe. We managed to pack up everything in under two hours and haul it back to my place. I stowed the deposit bag in my gun safe feeling guilty for having it at all. I didn't want money, I wanted Elle.
ELLE
When I came to it was too late. I was bound and gagged in the backseat of a moving car with no options. The events leading up to the moment were foggy as I tried to recall the details. Pain radiated through my body as the bumpy road jarred me. My head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and ached. Mick. Mick had been at my cottage. Mick had taken me.
I had tried to adjust myself to a sitting position but found that I couldn't maneuver myself enough to make it happen. Mick had noticed the movement in the back seat.
“I’d given you five more minutes to wake up before wondering if I’d caused permanent brain damage.” I had no reply for him but a strangled groan. “Only a few more minutes. Keep your head down.” I looked out the car window to see the tops of buildings screaming by. When we passed my father’s old building, the Park’s Industries building, I knew we were back in the city. Tears silently trickled down my face as the car made its way to the hospital. To hell.
My only hope laid in Colin’s hands. Had he called Joe? Was he scared or worried and looking for me, was he safe? Questions whizzed through my brain at an alarming rate. Questions that I couldn't answer. I’d closed my eyes and silently demanded Jenny to watch over him and give me strength. The car had stopped abruptly sending me crashing face first to the floor of the backseat. The back door swung open but I couldn't see who it was from my angle.
“How the hell am I supposed to explain a fucking head wound!?” Ryan’s voice roared in aggravation.
“Your wife broke my nose and ran. I did what I had too.” Something cold and hard comes between my wrists and tugs freeing my hands before moving on to my ankles. I scramble back to the opposite side of the car and tug the handle but it’s locked. Ryan’s laugh sounds tortured and maniacal as his eyes drink me in.
“The hair’s new. You look rough but good. Who knew you had it in you to break a man’s nose.”
“Fuck you Ryan.” I spit after ripping the gag from my mouth.
“I believe we’ve done that Elle.” He clipped, slammed the door shut and hopped into the front seat. “Dr. Rand is waiting for us at the hospital entrance. I suggest you don’t do anything stupid.” Logically I know I could take Ryan. I’ve trained and learned how to effectively incapacitate someone long enough to run at least. The psychological effects he has on me stun all my logic frozen though. He looks different, unkempt. It gives me the feeling that he’s not in control of his actions, that he’s a loose cannon. He puts the car in drive and rounds the corner to the hospital. “You’ve really gone and fucked things up, you know that? Do you know what I had to endure while you’ve been gone?” I remain silent in the backseat as Dr. Rand comes into view under the carport. Having Ryan so close to me after all this time has my panic in overdrive. The smell of him repulses me and I can't bear to look him in the eye. My world feels like it’s teetering out of control and I’m helpless to do anything about it.
Two orderlies stand with a nervous looking Dr. Rand. In fact, Dr. Rand looks entirely out of sorts. Guilt streaks his features and when he opens the door he doesn't look me in the eye. He said nothing as the orderlies escorted me out of the car. They held a tight grip on either arm until we were safely inside the secured doors of P6. Hopelessness invaded my soul at the familiar bland setting and although I tried, I couldn't stop the sob that tore from my trembling body. We passed Rachel and Manny on the walk to my room. Both pairs of eyes had watched me pass with sadness and heartache although I don’t know why. I’m sure they both hate me for what I did.
Once secured in my room the door was closed and locked. I stood alone and numbly looked around at my surroundings. Dull white walls, a half bath, one uncomfortable bed with a plastic mattress and a barred window. The fluorescent lighting harsh and depressing. I walked to the window and stared out at the dark night sky while tears fell like rain down my face. I hope to God Colin called Joe because I don't know how long I can last in here like this. When I don’t think I can stand any longer I fall to the bed and stare at the ceiling for hours until exhaustion finally claims my body and I fall into a restless sleep.
COLIN
Her face radiates with happiness and love from the nightstand. I stare at the picture of Elle and I and feel nothing but loss and an incurable ache in my chest. It’s overwhelming in its intensity. Two weeks has passed since she's been gone. Each day that passes the hole in my chest grows wider with the helplessness I feel. Joe had called a day after I’d met with him to inform me that Elle was alive. Relief had consumed me until he’d further explained that she was back in the psychiatric ward at St. Francis Hospital in Rock Hill. Hearing that she was three hours away wasn't a deterrent but finding out that until he could make arrangements with her I couldn't see her was.
Elle was currently allowed no contact outside of Ryan and her therapist. No visitors were allowed, no phone calls accepted. My heart swung from one extreme to the other as Joe relayed the news to me. Joy and relief that she was alright to heartache and dejection that I couldn't even see her let alone be with her or help in some way. Joe assured me that in a few days’ time he would be able to see Elle and would gladly pass along any messages for me until he could resolve the visitation situation.
“Colin.”
“Hi Joe.” I answer.
“I’m on my way to the hospital. The courts have granted me visitations for now. Ryan’s lawyer is contesting it though. Anything you want me to tell her?” I fumble with the phone for a moment. I have a million things I want to tell her but on such short notice I can’t think of a single meaningful thing. I want to tell her I love her but besides her written letter to me we’ve never said it to each other and it feels wrong to pass it through someone else. I want to tell her that I will be there as soon as I’m allowed. That I miss her, her smile, her eyes, her laugh and her kisses but that seems too personal as well. “Colin?” Joe interrupts my thoughts.
“I don't know what to say.” I mumble.
“You have an hour to figure it out. Call me back and let me know. Once I’m inside I’m won't be taking calls.” I hang up the phone pacing around the gym wondering what the hell I can say to her through Joe that means enough. I run my hand through my hair when it catches my eye and suddenly I know. I call Joe back immediately.
“Colin.” He clips.
“I’ll never let you go.”
“What?”
“Tell Elle... I’ll never let you go.” I answer.
“Is that all?”
“Yeah. Please call as soon as you’re done.” I plead.
“Will do. Bye Colin.”
“Bye.” I breathe into the phone.
My nerves are frazzled and I feel like my legs can't sustain the weight of my body. I lean against the wall staring at the heavy bag that Elle trained on trying to steel myself against all the emotions pummeling me.
“You alright man?” John asks breaking my train of thought.
“Yeah... yeah I am. Joe is on his way to see Elle.”
“That’s great, right?”
“Yeah. I’m just... I don't know John. This whole thing is so messed up. I’m a mess. Is it even possible to truly fall in love with someone in a month?”
“I’ve never seen you happier before and she seemed like... like you two were made for each other. Let’s skip all the girl talk and go a round in the ring, yeah?”
“Sure, yeah, let’s go.”
At this point I welcome any distraction that comes my way. I’ll do anything to forget the pain in my chest from the loss of her. Nothing makes sense anymore without her here with me. I take out all my anger, frustration and hurt on John in the ring. We spar for an hour before he gives up citing that I’m too amped up to contend with. Sweat drops from my brow landing on my cheek and rolls down to my chin. I feel weak from going balls deep in the ring.
I haven't been eating or sleeping well these last two weeks and it’s catching up with me. My world, this world doesn’t make sense though if there’s no Elle and I in it, if we’re not together. Nothing in my life makes sense anymore.
