by K Larsen
“Aye, aye captain.” She giggles. Her laugh brings a smile to my face. All we have to do is get her through this week and then everything will be fine.
“‘K, see you tomorrow!”
“Night Jenna, love you.” She says softly
.
ELLE
A car speeds past me, twirling me around in my spot like I’m nothing but a tumbleweed. In the blink of an eye I see her bleeding, under I can hear her scream. I’m at my desk now. The phone rings. I don’t know the number. Death is all around me.
I wake up in a cold sweat screaming. The blankets are twisted tightly around me and I feel trapped. Everything's black and I can't stop the tears from streaming down my face. I suck in as many deep breaths as I can as Colin’s arms wrap around me gently and pull me down to him.
“Shh. It was just a dream.” He murmurs.
“No. It wasn’t.” I choke out.
“What?”
“I dreamt of Jenny’s accident. I should have told you sooner.” I sob.
“Hey. It’s ok. What should you have told me?”
“Tomorrow's the one year anniversary.” My voice cracks and I start shaking with my sobs. Colin lets out a sigh and squeezes me tighter.
“Elle, why didn't you say something tonight when we all made plans for tomorrow night? Why didn't you tell me it was this week at all?” He sounds hurt, like he thinks I don't trust him.
“I don't know. I just couldn't seem to say it out loud.” I admit.
“Elle. That’s a big deal. No wonder you’ve been so off lately. I can’t imagine dealing with the first anniversary of her death and your divorce. You have to let us in.”
“I know.” I snuggle into his chest and let the tears fall as he rubs my arm.
“We can cancel tomorrow. It’s not a big deal.”
“No! I want to see Jenna, you guys need a babysitting break from me and I will be fine.”
“Elle.” He says softly.
“No Colin. Tomorrow will be fine the way it is.” I stand firm.
“Alright.” He gives in.
It took a while for me to find sleep again but I was content just lying in Colin’s arms and listening to the easy rise and fall of his breath. When I finally woke Colin was already up and the smell of coffee and bacon was wafting through the apartment.
“Morning.” I sigh rubbing sleep from my eyes. I walk up behind him at the stove, wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his shoulder. “Morning babe.” He turns into me kissing the top of my head before resuming his bacon duties. I take a seat at the island after fixing myself a coffee and watch happily as he prepares breakfast. His pj pants hang low on his hips and he’s topless and barefoot. I don't think there’s a sexier sight. The muscles of his arms and in his back flex and twitch as he tends to the eggs in front of him.
“Like what you see?” He chuckles drawing my gaze to his. I hadn’t even realized I was still staring. I shrug and laugh. “It’s a sight, that’s for sure.” He scoops the eggs and bacon on to plates and sets them down at our seats.
“Breakfast is served.” We fall into a comfortable silence as we sit next to each other eating and stealing glances back and forth. After finishing we toss on workout clothes and head to the gym together. It surprises me that I’m not at all as depressed as I thought I would be today.
A deep sense of sorrow lingers just under the surface but it’s not debilitating. As I lay into the heavy bag trying to pick up where I left off a month ago I let all my sadness, frustration and anger ooze out through my fists. I pummel the bag until my hands feel raw and my arms are so heavy that I can’t throw another punch. Sweat runs down my spine and chest making my tank top cling to me. I stand lost in thought at the bag.
“How you holdin’ up babe?” Colin drapes an arm over my shoulder bringing me out of my trance.
“I’m alright. Just, sad. I miss her.” I mumble.
“I wish I had met her.”
“Me too. She would have loved you.” It’s the truth, Jenny would have fallen for Colin as much as I have.
“Ready to clean up and head out?” He nudges me towards the locker room.
“Yeah.”
JENNA
“Holy crap will you leave already?!” I snip at the guys.
“Don’t hate Jenna, I’m just trying to give my girl a proper goodbye.” Colin winks at me as Elle giggles.
“You’re proper goodbye is making me throw up in my mouth.” I tease.
“Ben, shut that woman up.” Elle goads him.
“Ben, do not even think about it.” I laugh, backing up from a prowling Ben. He lifts me up by my rear, setting me on the counter and takes my face in his hands smiling devilishly before claiming my mouth in a hot desire filled kiss. Hoots and a hollers ring out behind him as his mouth works its magic. When he finally pulls away I’m blushing a furious shade of red and panting like a jungle cat.
“Job well done.” Colin claps Ben on the back. John reaches out and grabs Ben by the collar of his shirt tugging him towards the door as he continues to heatedly stare me down.
“Love you.” Elle shouts to Colin as they shut the door.
“Ditto babe!” He returns just before the click of the knob sounds.
“Jesus, I thought they’d never leave.” I confess.
“Why so ornery today huh Jenna?” Elle inquires.
“I know not of what you speak.” I tease.
“You and Ben seem to be pretty... close.” She laughs.
“He’s a great guy. I just like my girl time.”
“Oh really?” One of Elle’s groomed eyebrows arches up.
“Alright!” I toss my hands in the air. “Sometimes he’s a little....intense and smothering.” Elle’s amused laugh rings out through the kitchen.
“Why don't you just tell him you want a night a week alone?”
“I don't know. He’s so happy all the time, I don't want him to take it the wrong way.” I admit.
“I’m sure he won't. Tell him once a week you need him to spend a night at home playing Xbox.” We both double over giggling together at the absurdity of the statement. No woman asks her man to spend a night at his place playing video games all night.
“Wine?”
“Of course!” I pour us each a glass of Elle’s favorite red wine and we make ourselves comfortable in the living room.
“We don’t have to talk about it, but Colin told me about today.” I shoot her a pointed look.
“UGGHH. It’s not that I was keeping it from anyone. I was just processing it in my own way. I’ve actually been ok today. A little sad here and there but mostly okay. I wanted to hang out tonight.” She smiles.
“Alright-alright...I just wanted to check in ok?” She gives me a lopsided grin that lets me know that she really is doing alright so I drop it. “Which movie would you like to watch first?”
“Tough choice, The Notebook is sure to bring me to tears...in a good way, but I’ve never seen Leap Year.”
“Well then let’s start with Leap Year because I haven't seen it yet either and we’re sure to make it through one movie but two’s a stretch.” I decide.
“Excellent. Let’s do this.” Elle states as she snuggles down into the couch and pulls a throw over her lap. Seeing her on my couch again smiling and laughing makes my heart swell. I really missed my friend and I’m glad to have tonight with her. The movie brings us both to happy, girly tears. I’m sure the wine had something to do with them too but we laughed and cried and gushed over how romantic everything was. We indulged in ice cream and popcorn and laughed hysterically at things that were not even remotely funny making our girl’s night in a total success.
Around ten thirty the guys started sending drunk texts that really got us going. By the time they stumbled through the door neither Elle or I could catch our breath we were laughing so hard.
“What are piss flippers?” Elle asks still doubled over clutching her stomach and trying to catch her breath.
“Pisssfliperssssssss
ssss are lady bits.” John slurs.
“What?” I ask.
“BABY....vaginal lipsss.” Ben shouts then looks around like he just realized it’s quiet in here and that he’s yelling.
“Holy crap Elle, I can't take it, I’m going to pee my pants.” Elle snorts her response before collapsing into Colin’s arms squealing with laughter. I dart to the bathroom to relieve myself when Ben kicks the door open with his foot.
“What are you doing?!” I squawk.
“What’reyouuudoin’” I’m not even sure he’s speaking English anymore.
“Ben! Get out! I’m peeing!” I hiss.
“Johnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! Its real life piss flippers in action!” He leaves the bathroom door open as he stumbles yelling back to John. I finish quickly and join everyone in the living room. John is passed out already in the armchair, Ben is pacing back and forth mumbling to himself, and Elle and Colin are sitting quietly wrapped in each other’s arms watching Ben.
“What’s he doing?” I point to my boyfriend.
“No idea.” Colin says.
“He just keeps muttering to himself and pacing.” Elle laughs. “He’s going to have to stay here, he can't go home like that. John too, he’s already asleep.”
“Elle!” I whine.
“Hey... you can have your alone night tomorrow.” She shrugs. Colin stands taking Elle with him and helps her put her coat on before walking over to Ben, tapping him on the shoulder and telling him to lie down. Ben looks curiously at Colin before eyeing the couch and then promptly passing out on it.
“See, bed to yourself.” Colin states proudly.
“Gee thanks.” I snicker.
“Night love.” Elle hugs me and waits for Colin to do the same before leaving me alone with two blacked out snoring men. We should have hung out at Colin’s place.
ELLE
My gray skirt suit skims my knees and hugs me in all the right places. I feel good in it. It doesn't however make me any less nervous. I sit, knee bouncing uncontrollably, in the courtroom with Joe. Colin is in the first pew behind us and periodically leans forward and tries to rub some of the tension from my shoulders. Elle, Ben and John sit anxiously next to him waiting for everyone else to arrive. Ryan’s parents are sitting on his side staring coldly at my back. His mother’s dressed in a cheap ill-fitting suit like always and the smell of his father’s cologne makes me bristle with irritation. It smells like Ryan and a barrage of hurtful memories assault me causing me to shiver.
Ryan and his lawyer enter five minutes late for our scheduled hearing and the Judge is not happy about it which at least works in my favor a little. When he strides past me the ice cold glare he directs at me instantly puts me on high alert. My heart starts beating furiously in my chest and all I can hear is its resounding thump, thump in my ears. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I can’t tear my eyes away from his intense scowl. He looks older and disheveled. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair looks like he just rolled out of bed. I don’t want to look at him but it’s like a train wreck that you can’t look away from. I tremble lightly at the pure rage rolling off of him.
A warm hand slides under my hair and squeezes my neck gently and I thank God that Colin and crew are here for this. Not as though they had much choice, Ryan’s lawyer was calling them as witnesses to try and prove that I’m not mentally fit to make my own choices, including divorcing Ryan.
The hearing is volatile and long. Ryan’s lawyer dug into everything he possibly could to drag me through the dirt. He tried like hell to make me look mentally unstable. Conversations that only Dr. Rand and I had are shared making my blood boil at the blatant lack of confidentiality. Luckily none of it amounted to much. Thank god Joe kept his cool and calmly turned everything around. By one in the afternoon on November twenty eighth I was officially single and not a single cent poorer.
Ryan had tried many different angles and tactics to walk away with my money but Joe had done his job and done it well and the Judge ruled that Ryan would not be receiving a single cent and also needed to vacate our house immediately. When it was over, I’d excused myself to the ladies room to gather my wits. Jenna joined me, letting me stand in silence and stare at myself in the mirror while sucking deep breaths in and out.
“Ready?” She gently asks.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” I push through the bathroom door and take one step into the corridor crashing directly into Ryan. Startled I look up to apologize and freeze at the site of him.
“I meant what I said.” He snarls through gritted teeth and shoves me backwards sending me tumbling into Jenna.
“Fuck you.” Jenna barks while tugging my hand and leading me away from him. Ryan snickers and continues on his way with his parents in tow.
“Are you alright?” Jenna asks till leading me down the hall.
“I... yeah.” I stutter.
“Where have you two been?” Colin asks pushing off from the wall. He takes one look at me and instantly I find myself enveloped by him as Jenna babbles on about the run in with Ryan.
“Joe, I think we need a restraining order too.” Colin clips.
“May not be a bad idea.”
“Elle, are you alright?” He leans back just enough to get a good look at me while still holding me close.
“Uh, yeah. I’m fine. It just startled me.”
“I can kick his ass for you.” Ben offers making me chuckle.
“No Ben, it’s ok. I’m ok. Please, let’s just get out of here.” I say to all of them. Five heads all nod their agreement and we move on to less touchy subjects, like where to celebrate.
After a brief stop at the hotel to change the six of us reconvene in the lobby for dinner at Grace. I’m pleased to have the company of such amazing people even if everyone’s doing their best not to let the shadow of Ryan’s words put a damper on our small victory. It’s obvious that everyone’s on edge and treating me with kid gloves, careful not to talk about my run in with him. I’d rather just talk it out and put it behind us but I don’t think it would be a quick conversation for them, especially Colin, so I let it slide and do my best to lighten the mood and keep the congratulatory dinner in good spirits.
COLIN
“You’re finally mine.” I gravel. She presses a soft, open mouthed kiss to my neck making my entire life zero in on the point of contact. I can't form a coherent thought with her lips on me. My hands tangle rough in her hair as I press her up against the wall, my insistent erection prodding her. Her small hands wrap around my neck as I hook her legs up around my hips and begin to move in and out of her until her eyes fall half-mast. Moving us to the bed I run my fingers along the ridge of her spine and a trail of goose bumps follows in their wake making me grin. With Elle, I know it to my core that I will be happy just having her, making her come undone time and time again. When she finally moans my name low and needy triggering my own release and I bury my face in the back of her neck as I come apart in her.
Propping myself up on my elbows I stare down at her as she lies spent and sated under me. I don't think I’ve ever seen a more stunning view. Her dark brown hair is fanned over the pillows and she's flushed a pretty pink. Her eyes pools of liquid emerald looking back at me as she grins. “The things you do to me Mr. Wilder.” I roll to the side relieving her of my weight and she immediately tangles her limbs with mine.
“How are you, really?” I ask softly.
“Good. Relieved. Free.” She murmurs as I kiss her temple. Dinner had been good but not as good as it should have been. We were all painfully aware of the threat Ryan had insinuated dulling the happy feel of the celebratory meal. Elle had shaken it off as much as she could but I sensed that it still weighed heavily in her thoughts.
“I won't let anything happen to you.”
“Don’t Colin, you can't promise that. You don't know for sure.” She mumbles into my chest. It kills me to admit it, but she's right. I can't guarantee that I can protect her. I’d do anything to be able to take that worry fr
om her but legally there isn't anything we can do but stay vigilant in keeping our eyes open and hope for the best.
“I love you babe.”
“I love you too, but Colin...” She trails off.
“Yes?” I whisper.
“I trust you, Iike, trust you, and that’s bigger to me than saying I love you.” She sighs and plants a kiss at my ribs and burrows into me more. I squeeze her tight to my side letting the pile of goo that used to be my heart, expand and ooze into my soul. Her limbs go limp as her chest rises and falls steadily against me giving her a much needed break from reality and I let myself drift off with her.
She’s taken to wearing my tee shirts as nighties saying that during our time apart she missed my smell and wearing my shirts to bed makes her feel safe. Not that I mind really, she pads around in my shirt that just barely covers all the good parts this morning as we get ready to check out and I love watching her move in it.
“So, we should probably grab some lunch and then stop by my house. Ryan should be at work.” Her green eyes narrow in on mine waiting for my reaction.
“It’s only been a day Elle, maybe we should wait and check on the house next week.”
“Well, I’d prefer to do it today.” I run a hand through my hair in frustration. I don't think we should venture into that house today and she doesn’t know for sure if Ryan will be home or not.
“If he’s there...” “Then we won’t stop.” She cuts me off.
“Alright.” I give in. At least she won't be alone. She presses a soft open mouthed kiss to my lips before continuing to the bathroom.
After an amazing lunch at a local sandwich shop that Elle said I had to try we pile into the car. She remains quiet the entire drive there outside of directing me where to go. Her hand rests in mine while her knee bounces gently and she continually tucks a piece of hair behind her ear nervously.
