I get to my feet. We have to keep moving.
"The world's gone to hell," I say as I dash across the park, Lissa by my side.
"Not yet," she says.
And I know she's right. Things can get a whole lot worse, and they probably will.
"I have to see, Mr. D," I say. "There's no way I can leave Brisbane with this going on. It's obviously getting out of Morrigan's control."
"And I'm telling you that's not going to help anymore-at least, not now, maybe later. You just need to stay alive for a little longer, get out of Brisbane. Come back later."
"But if that's what Morrigan wants-"
"I think he wants you in Brisbane. But regardless, I want you alive. Neither of us know enough about Schisms to hang around, except I can guarantee this much: all the other regions will have closed down communication. They don't want word of this spreading. Something like this could see a whole heap of madness. No, you need to keep moving, and Brisbane's not big enough for that to work."
I head back to the payphone on the edge of the park and dial a number I know off by heart.
"I thought it would be you," Tim says. His voice is strained, the kind of strained that the last few days will engender. I look at my watch: it's three-thirty in the morning.
"Not getting many calls?"
"Too many, but I just thought it would be you. I'm glad to hear your voice."
I'm glad to hear his as well. "We need to meet," I say.
"The Place?"
"Yeah, that'll do. I have to get out of Brisbane." It's not far away, I can easily walk it.
"I'm going to have to organize a few things," Tim says. "You going to be safe until mid morning?"
"Yeah. I think I can manage that." I'm not sure if I can, but Tim knows what he's doing.
"You OK?"
"No. You?"
"Not at all."
Honesty is such a wonderful thing.
20
Delightful," Tim says, glaring at a gob of spit on the ground by his foot. It's fluorescent green and ants have encircled it like a besieging army, a boiling hungry black mass. "That your handiwork?"
I shake my head, thinking about some of my recent handiwork. "If I start spitting that sort of stuff you'll know I'm not long for this world."
I doubt I'm long for this world as it is, but neither of us goes there. I'm feeling very rough this morning. The souls have kept coming, and the drain I slept in last night was hardly salubrious. I reckon I've slept maybe three hours in the last twenty-four. I know I don't smell that good.
The first thing Tim did was throw some clothes at me. I've got my backpack with me, but it doesn't hurt to have some more. They feel better than what I was wearing, not exactly a perfect fit. The jeans are OK, a little loose around the waist, but my wrists jut a good ten centimeters out of the sleeves. I'm rolling them up as Tim gets to work on his third cigarette.
We used to smoke cigarettes here, when we'd first got our licenses. Or sometimes a little weed, but not for a long time. Tim offers me a cigarette, but I decline. "Yeah, stupid idea." But he lights one up and has a puff.
"The Place" is a small park in Paddington. Very suburban, but old-Brisbane suburban. Big weatherboard Queenslanders surround us, all of them in far better condition than the one I'd belted my way out of in Albion, but essentially the same design. Their verandahs are empty. No one is that interested in being outside.
Tim has driven here, in yet another car that I don't recognize. I apprise him of the situation in detail that I didn't want to disclose over the phone. Tim's opinion I trust, though he doesn't need to know anything about the binding ceremony. Lissa corrects me often enough that, even though Tim can't hear her side of the conversation, he laughs. "You're sounding like your parents."
I glare at him. "Cute. Real bloody cute."
"Schism, you think," Tim says. "I've heard of them."
"Really?"
"You'd be surprised how much the government's got on you. Think about it, Steve. Technically you don't exist. And what are the rules binding government in dealing with things that don't exist?"
"If this goes wrong everybody dies, Tim."
"Which is why we think there should be tighter state controls."
"Do you really think that?"
Tim grinds his cigarette out beneath his boot. "Look at what's happening. Do you think we could fuck this up as badly?" Tim sighs. "But fuck that. Other than Sally and the kids, you're all the family I've got left. You know that me and Aunt Teagan don't get on."
"Who does?"
"Lots of people, just not her family."
"Have you talked to Sally?"
"As much as I can. I don't trust the phone lines either. She says she's sorry. We all are."
"Yeah."
"If locking you up in a room would keep you safe, I would, but you'd find a way to get into trouble." Tim knows me better than I know myself sometimes. "I can understand this is as scary as all hell. But I agree with Lissa, you have to get out of town. I've spoken to Alex, did that after I got off the phone with you. He'll be here soon."
"You know Don's son?"
"You really need to be more sociable, Steve. Maybe it's guilt or something, but we Black Sheep stick together."
"That's a bit ironic."
Tim ignores me. "I've talked to Alex, and he's got a car for you. You take that, and you get the hell out of here until it all cools down, or whatever it needs to do."
I don't think it will cool down. Not in the way Tim means or hopes. "What about you?"
"Some of us have to work for a living," Tim says, and now he's the one trying to sound all casual. He snorts. "Look, don't you worry about me. I can take care of myself. It's what I do for a living. Anyway, you think my minister could take a crap without me?"
That's policy advisors for you. "Maybe I will have a cigarette." But it's a mistake, I'm coughing after the first puff.
"Smoking never took with you," Tim says wryly, picking out his fourth cigarette in half an hour. "Lucky bastard."
Alex pulls into the park flashing his headlights. Lissa shakes her head. "You call that a car?"
"Hey, don't diss my wheels." I'm not sounding that convincing.
Even Tim laughs. "I can't remember the last time I saw one of that… um… vintage on the road."
Alex opens the door and gets out of the multi-coloured, mid-seventies Corolla sedan. It's a patchwork of orange, black and electric green. He looks from me to Tim, who is actually laughing so hard he can't breathe. I'm not far behind my cousin. It's the first time I've laughed like that in-well, in a long time.
"What's so funny?" Alex demands.
21
There's a full tank of petrol. That'll get you on your way. Wherever that is." Alex chucks me a phone, and a handful of sim cards. "You'll get one call with each of those, I reckon. Probably more, but better safe than sorry. They've probably got the network tapped. Morrigan doesn't do anything by halves. Chuck them away when you're done."
"I will. I'm sorry about your father."
Alex stops me with a look. "I know you are. Let's just keep you alive, eh."
He tosses me the keys. I unlock the front passenger door and put the phone on the seat.
God knows where Alex got the car from, probably the same place as the various other bits of contraband sitting under the blanket behind the front seat. I've got a feeling that if I open the glove box I'll find half a kilo of something or other. I open it. There's a yellowing service manual, which looks like it should be in a museum, a wad of cash that must come into thousands of dollars, a charger for my mp3 player, and a pair of aviator sunglasses. What the hell, I slip the sunnies on.
"Well, I'll be your wing girl, Maverick," Lissa says, flicking me a salute.
"Shut up, you."
I look at all that money. With that and the money I took from my place I have an alarming amount of cash. "If any cop stops me, I reckon I'm in trouble."
Alex shakes his head. "If any officer of the law stops y
ou, you get them to call this number." He hands me something he's written on a Post-it note.
"They call this number, and I'll be fine?"
Alex grimaces. "It's by no means a Get Out of Jail Free card. If you drive carefully no one's going to stop you."
"Don't worry, Officer, I don't intend to get any traffic infringements."
Tim chuckles, but Alex doesn't. He looks at his watch. "I'd wait an hour or so before heading out of the city. Go with the traffic. You'll be harder to follow."
"Harder to tell if I'm being followed, too."
Alex shakes his head. "Nah, these guys are pretty obvious. You'll know if someone's following you."
"And what do I do if they are?"
"You drive, as fast as you can."
Lissa snorts. "Which won't be very fast in that car."
I thank Alex for everything including the number, which I slip into my wallet. Alex's eyes follow the movement.
"I just hope you don't have to use it," he says. My face is raw. The only razor I could get my hands on was as blunt as a toy pocketknife, but I need to look clean-shaven. My stubble marks me more obviously than anything else, though I can't say I like the bare face beneath. At least the hair's looking good. I'm wired on adrenaline and cups of strong black coffee, and driving an old bomb out of Brisbane, following the Western Freeway. It's the fastest route out of the city if you want to head toward the low mountains that make up the granite belt. Up in the mountains, as low as they are, the air will be cool, even this late in spring-and the mobile reception should be terrible.
The car is older than I am, though Alex assured me it would run like a dream… Yeah, a patchwork dream. Lissa's already calling it Steven's Amazing Technicolor Dream Car. And I must admit that the car is running smoothly. Corollas from this era are about as unstoppable as the Terminator, and every bit as ugly.
"Any tunes?" Lissa asks.
I try the radio. Only AM. We get a couple of stations playing classical, and a talkback radio show, all leavened with a fair bit of static. Lissa sticks her head through the front windscreen, which is quite disconcerting.
"That explains it," she says. "The aerial's been broken off."
The stereo itself is fairly new. I link up my mp3 and we have music. Radiohead, intercut with Midlake, is a perfect soundtrack for my mood.
The sun's setting. Brilliant in its suspension of red dust, it's the starkest, most beautiful sunset I've ever seen, and I'm driving into it like some character out of a movie, crashing into the apocalypse. Number Four and the Hill are sliding away from me. And while that should be some sort of relief, all it does is leave a bad taste in my mouth. I'm deserting my city, and this is no movie. • • We stop at Stanthorpe, about 200 kilometers southwest of Brisbane. I get a single room on the ground floor of a boxy old hotel, best for a quick exit. The carpet is about the same era as my car, a combination of curlicues and some sort of vomit-colored flowers-why were the seventies all about vomit colors? It's the ugliest thing I've ever seen, almost hypnotically ugly. But it's a survivor; you can barely make out the cigarette burns, which is something you can't say for the bedside table or the tablecloth which, while perfectly clean, is dotted with melty holes. There's a no smoking sign on the wall by the door.
The first thing I do is mark the doors and windows with a brace symbol.
The second thing is open a beer from the fridge.
I'm sitting there, in my underpants and a T-shirt, counting the cigarette burns on the tablecloth when I look up and into Lissa's eyes. "What do you do when I'm sleeping?" I ask her.
"Look at you," she says, and I laugh.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. I look at you and I think. You'd be surprised how patient you can be when all you are is thought."
Thought is so fragile. A strong wind could blow it away like a dandelion. That fills me with a dreadful sorrow.
"How long's this binding going to hold?"
"I don't know. Do you want to break it?"
"No!"
"Are you sure about that? You've only had grief since I came along."
"Less than some of my girlfriends," I say.
"Girlfriend, eh?"
"It's more of a marriage. After all, we're bound together."
"Well, at least you haven't started nagging me yet," Lissa says, giving me a dirty look. "And the only sex we've had resulted in your orgasm. You didn't even expect me to fake one. So I suppose it's a marriage all right."
"Ha! I'll have you know we de Selbys are extremely generous lovers. Besides, you're a ghost."
"I still have my urges," Lissa says, a little defensively.
"Well, I wish you had more corporeality," I say.
"So do I."
We stop ourselves there. Our eyes meet, and we both turn sharply away.
I finish my beer, then walk to the bathroom and clean my teeth with a finger and some salt. I wonder if I'm being a dickhead. Probably. More than probably. I know it with deep certainty, and I'm suddenly ashamed. This girl brings out the best and the worst in me.
I've experienced more with Lissa, and with more intensity than with anyone else I've known, including Robyn-then I catch myself. It's the first time I've thought of her in what feels like days. Well, that's something at least. And here we are in this old hotel room which smells of smoke and cheap instant coffee, the traffic rumbling outside, the road's endless breath. It's the lovers' cliche, this.
I step out of the bathroom and look at Lissa. Those amazing green eyes hold me again. This time she doesn't turn away.
"You can have a quick wank if you want," Lissa says, and smirks.
I grimace. "I'm going to sleep."
After switching off the light there's half an hour of restless tossing and turning on a mattress that's firm and soft in all the wrong places.
Lissa chuckles. "Go on. You'll feel better for it," she whispers in my ear.
"Shut up."
22
I never sleep well in strange places, and that's all I've had these past few nights. At least the hotel is better than a highway underpass or a stormwater drain. My sleep is light and dream-fractured. There's a lot of running. I keep seeing the faces of my family and they're yelling at me, but I can't hear what they're saying. All I get is the urgency. And then there are a couple of nightmares on high rotation. I'm dreaming of:
Bicycles. They're tumbling from the sky.
Wheels spinning, gears shifting, and when they strike the ground they make skullish craters, the orbits of which cage vivid green eyes. Every death's head skull stares at me with Lissa's eyes.
It's not that far away, a voice whispers.
A bicycle strikes me hard. Gears grind down my arm. I drop to a crouch, cover my head with my hands. Warm blood trails from my wrist.
Duck and cover doesn't work anymore. It never really did.
I recognize the voice, it's-
I remember the first time I saw Mr. D. I was about ten and Dad had taken me to work. Even then I had a clear idea of what my parents did. Death was never such a big deal in my family. Cruelty, unfairness, rugby league-these were often spoken of-but not death, other than in the same way one spoke about the weather.
So I guess I was in something of a privileged position. Most kids my age were just starting to realize that such a thing as their own demise was possible, where I already considered it a natural part of existence.
Dad had told me it was time, but I hadn't really understood until he took me into Number Four. There was Morrigan, who scruffed up my hair. Number Four tingled around me with all the odd pressures of multiple worlds pulling and pushing at my skin like ghostly fingers. It was a peculiar sensation, and unsettling.
Then I saw Mr. D and he terrified me.
"Is this your boy, Michael?"
Dad nodded. "This is Steven."
"My, he's grown."
I realized that he must have seen me before. Well, I knew that I hadn't seen him-how could I forget? His face, it shifted, a hundred different
expressions in a second, and yet it was the same face. He crouched down to my height, and smiled warmly.
"You were just a baby when I saw you last. Have you had a good life so far? Do you want to be a Pomp like your father?"
I nodded my head, confused. "Yes, sir," I said.
"Oh, none of that. Mr. D will do fine. The age of formalities is deader than I am." He looked up at Dad. "He's certainly your boy," he said. "Very brave."
I didn't feel brave at all.
He looked back at me, and I saw something in his eyes, and it horrified me. There, reflected back at me, was a man on his haunches, face covered in blood, howling. And a knife: a stone knife.
I let out a gasp.
Death held my hand, his fingers as cold and hard as porcelain in the middle of winter, and he squeezed. "What's wrong?"
"N-nothing."
"Not yet, anyway," Mr. D said, and he smiled such a dreadful and terrible smile that I have never forgotten it.
And I dream of it still, even when I don't realize that's what I'm dreaming of. Shit, that grin creeps up on me when I'm least expecting it. There was a bit of the madness of Brueghel's "Triumph of Death" in it, though I didn't know that at the time, and something else. Something cruel and mocking and unlike anything I'd ever seen.
I have spoken to Mr. D since, and nothing like that has happened again. Of course, it doesn't matter anymore, but it did then, and it haunted me for over a decade. It's true, isn't it? You drag your childhood with you wherever you go. You drag it, and it sometimes chases you.
I wake, and then realize that I'm not awake. The sheets cover me, and then they don't. I'm naked, standing in the doorway, and they're out there, a shuffling presence, a crowd of wrongness rapidly extending through the country.
You need to hurry, Steven. I can feel every single one of them. They shouldn't be here. But of course they are, there's no one to stop them.
You wait out here, and it will be too late.
You have to call me.
I turn to see who is talking, and I know, and am not surprised.
Mr. D is a broken doll on the floor. He's a drip in the ceiling. A patch on the floor. He's smiling.
Death most definite sds-1 Page 14
