by Cliff Ryder
Tina held her silence, thinking about his words, then she said, "You're right. I didn't understand. Not really."
"Why did you leave the Room 59 offices and come out here?" he asked. "You've got the talent, if not the full training, to do what many field agents do."
"It just wasn't my world," she said. "I would look at all this information — pictures, reports, videos — and think this can't be real. Yet they still wanted me to wring some kind of sense from it. And the problem was that it never made sense to me. I knew some of the field agents and would talk with them, but it never sank in that much of the carnage I was looking at belonged to them. It was like they owned it somehow. Does that make any sense?"
"Yes, it does," he said. "And we do own it. We have to."
"And that's why I left," she said. "I couldn't imagine a world where people would own that kind of behavior. Where they would kill someone else — another human being — without mercy. It wasn't the kind of place I wanted to live in, so…I left."
"And now I'm here. You know what I do. You've seen what I do."
"Yes," she said.
"So where does that leave us?" he asked. "Do you want me to stay?"
"To be honest, Jason, I don't know," she replied. "I've been lying here trying to figure it out for the past three or four days — however long I've been in here. I care for you, but what you do is dangerous. Every time you walked out the door, I'd be worried sick that you wouldn't come home to me, to our child. You talk about making the world safe, but the world is a big place. I don't know how you'd make us safe." She sobbed quietly, hitched a breath, then said, "I don't know what I want or what you should do."
He sighed. "I guess that makes two of us," he said. He looked at his watch. "I think we both need some time. I'm supposed to be catching a flight soon. Denny has a lot of questions that still need answering."
"I know, I know. The mission comes first," Tina said.
He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Sometimes, family is the mission."
"We'll see," she said, trying not to cry. "Stay in touch, okay?"
"I will," he said. "You can count on it."
Then he turned and walked out of her room.
* * *
Jason's flights took him back the way he'd come — from Nome to Anchorage, Anchorage to Seattle and Seattle back to Minneapolis. It was late when he arrived home, and rather than deal with Denny and Room 59 business right away, he tossed his suitcase on the sofa, his laptop on the desk, showered and crawled into bed.
He slept for almost ten hours, and woke no more certain about what to do in regards to Tina and their baby and his job than when he walked out of the hospital in Nome. He made himself coffee and ate a half a grapefruit and some toast, then did some light stretching. It was going to be a while before he was back to full strength again.
Once his morning routine was completed, he sat down at his desk and fired up his laptop. The glasses he used were right where he left them. He put them on and went through the log-in process that confirmed his identity.
Using his avatar, he entered the Room 59 offices and headed for Denny's door. He noticed several people giving him long, wondering looks as he passed through, but ignored them. He stopped in front of Denny's door and knocked politely.
"Come in, Jason," Denny called out.
Jason opened the door and stepped in, surprised to see that in addition to Denny, Kate was also present. "Shut the door, please," Kate said.
He did as she asked, and Denny motioned for him to sit down.
"How are you feeling?" his boss asked.
"I'm on the mend," Jason said. "I should be mission ready within a week or so."
Kate chuckled. "I think we can manage a little more downtime than that. You've had quite an adventure from what I understand."
Jason just nodded, then turned his attention to Denny. "You know what happened on the mission?"
"Yes," Denny said. "Kate and I were just discussing it. Under the circumstances, we're both very happy with how you handled things. There was a little cleanup involved with the locals, but Tanuk helped with a lot of that. And we've got a team down at the sub right now, and another looking over the plans. You did well. Congratulations."
"Thank you," Jason said. "So why do I feel like there's another shoe about to drop?"
"Isn't there always in our line of work?" Kate asked.
Jason couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, I suppose there is. What's this one?"
Kate leaned back in her chair, studying him carefully, then motioned for Denny to take the lead. "There is one complication from your trip that we have to address," he said.
"Tina," Jason replied. "And the baby."
Kate nodded. "That's the complication, by the way," she said. "Not the shoe. We'll get to that in a moment."
"I don't see how she enters into this," Jason said. "She works for the agency and from what I gather, you and Denny knew of her involvement from the beginning."
"No, no," Denny said. "That's not it, really. The complication is that — as you know — agents who have families tend to run into problems. We don't encourage it, and we prefer to hire people who don't have a wife or a husband and children to deal with. There are too many risks. When the mission gets personal, bad things can happen. They have in the past. Even the best agent can lose sight of what he or she is supposed to be doing if someone they care about is put at risk."
"I'm aware of the preference," he said. "But at this moment, I'm not even sure if I'm ever going to be more than a monthly check to them. We're both aware of the complications."
"It gets worse," Kate said.
"Worse?"
"Yes," Denny said. "Tina has requested that she return to her work here as an analyst. She wants back in to the main office work."
As Jason started to speak, his boss held up his hands. "Strictly an office job," he said. "We're considering it, but we've never had two people who were…involved…both working for us. It's a unique situation."
"She didn't mention it to me," Jason said. "I assumed she'd be staying up there." He turned to Kate. "Is this the shoe?"
"Not exactly," she said. "You're very good, Jason. Better, in fact, than I thought. The fact that you were able to do what you did — including taking out Feng Li — was very impressive. The other shoe is that we're wondering if you would consider a different position with Room 59."
"But you just hired me to be a field agent," he said. "You said the work was good."
"We did," she said. "But we think there's a way to utilize your unique talents to benefit Room 59 even more."
"How so?" he asked, intrigued despite himself.
"Would you be interested," Denny asked, "in being a prime?"
"You mean training other agents?" Jason asked.
"A prime is more than a trainer," Kate said. "They are the best of the best, and aside from training, they also do some fieldwork on occasion. Usually with the midnight teams."
"It's a tough job," his boss said. "Different than straight fieldwork, more hours and responsibilities, less downtime." He thought for a moment, then added, "And the pay is better."
"Why?" Jason asked.
"I admit it was my idea," Kate said. "It solves several problems at once."
"Which are?"
"First, if you're a prime, it means that other than field assignments — once or twice a year, usually — you'd be working pretty regular hours. Our training schedule is rigorous, but a prime trains the trainers. You won't be on banker's hours, but it will be close."
"And?"
"Second," Kate continued, "we need a new prime for the U.S. region. Our last one permanently moved to taking over one of the midnight teams last month."
"That's a promotion?" he asked. "Sounds more like a permanent mission."
"It is," Denny said. "They have the worst job in our agency. Hands down."
"Other than get me out of the field, what does this do for me?"
"If you decided to continue your rel
ationship with Tina, being a prime would make that more…comfortable for us. And it would undoubtedly make it more comfortable for the two of you. We could bring her back here, and your relationship could continue unhindered, provided both of you observed the usual rules about classified information."
"I see," he said, considering the implications of the idea. "It's an interesting proposition."
"What do you think?" Denny asked.
"I'd like to think it over," Jason said. "Can you give me a little time?"
Kate and Denny both nodded. "Of course," she said. "Take a few days and consider it."
"You'd make an excellent prime, Jason," Denny said. "But this isn't a one-way ticket, either. If you don't want to do it, or you don't like it, we'll respect that, too."
"Thanks," Jason said. "I was sort of wondering about that."
"It's hard to leave the field," he said. "I know I struggled with it at first, too. But there are some benefits to it, as well — not the least of which is a longer life expectancy."
"I'll give it serious thought," he said, getting to his feet. "Thank you for the offer."
"You've earned it," Denny replied. "Anyone who can kill Feng Li deserves a promotion. Especially since I thought he was dead myself."
"If I hadn't looked through the wreckage, he'd have probably survived again," Jason said. He thanked Kate again and left Denny's office, then made his way back out, and logged out of the system.
* * *
Jason spent days recovering physically and considering his options. Was it time for him to give up being in the field? To become a teacher of future assassins, rather than be one himself? Would this allow him to be with Tina?
He didn't know the answers, but at the least, he knew where to direct the questions.
Jason stood up, went to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. Staring out the window into the Minnesota autumn, he thought of all the things Tanuk had told him about family, the things he'd learned about family during his mission.
What was it the old man had said while he was getting ready to get on the plane to Nome?
He thought about it for a moment, then it came to him. "The ties that bind a family together are more complex than love, son. Having a family, a real family, means knowing that for the rest of your life, there is nothing you will have to face alone, no mountain or challenge you must conquer on your own. It means being there for others before yourself, because someone else is doing the same for you. Home is always where they are, where you are. It's not the place, my boy — it's the people that count. That, son, is a family."
"I don't know how to be that," Jason had told him. "I never have."
Tanuk had put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "We're never too old to learn, son. Not even me."
Jason thought of the old man fondly, then reached for the phone.
There was a beautiful woman in a little village in Alaska. She spoke flawless Russian. She was tough and smart and had already sent him a message by asking to return to Room 59.
He dialed the number and waited as the connection was made. He heard Tina's voice and she sounded so very far away. In his heart, he knew that wasn't right.
"Tina Kanut," she said.
"Tina? It's Jason," he said.
"It's good to hear from you," she said, after a long silence. "What can I do for you?"
"I heard you want to come back. Work as an analyst again."
"Yes," she said. "I don't know why, but I think I can make a difference now. Be better than I was before. So I want to come back."
"I don't want you to come back," he said quietly. "I want you to come home."
"Home?" she said, a hitch in her voice. "What do you mean?"
"If we both try," he said, "I think maybe we can be a family. It will take a lot of work, and a lot of time, but we can go slow, you know? There's no rush." He suddenly realized that the silence on the other end of the line was because she wasn't there anymore. He felt a wave of disappointment wash over him. Didn't love start with caring, with commonalities? How was he ever going to get this right?
Suddenly, Tanuk's voice came on the line. "Jason?" he said. "Are you still there?"
"Yes," he said. "Yes, I'm here. What's going on? What happened to Tina?"
"She's on her way," Tanuk said. "Welcome to the family."
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Document creation date: 07/31/2012
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