Lila and Jilly continued to talk and sip their drinks for another hour before Bill came home. He watched the kids while Jilly drove Lila back to her parent’s house. On the way, Lila called AAA to come and tow the SUV to the garage to check for damage and then prepped for the reunion with her parents.
Will and Elizabeth, a.k.a. Bitsy Montgomery, met at Yale when Will was in his third year of law school. It was the week before he took his bar exam and he was so exhausted from studying that he was totally running on fumes. As he walked down the street, not paying any attention to where he was going, he ran right into the woman of his dreams, literally.
Bitsy was on campus visiting her then boyfriend when Will bumped into her. Montgomery family lore had it that they fell madly in love and announced their engagement within two months. Will passed the bar on his first try, received a job offer that took them back to Bitsy’s native Chicago and their fairy tale began.
Lila thought about what a great life her parents had and was boggled at the idea that Bitsy was suffering from depression. The way she figured it, she could handle a little “my life is so perfect” kind of funk. It would be a novel change from what she had been living.
Once they pulled up the drive, Lila jumped out of the van promising to meet Jilly and the kids at the country club the next morning. She approached the front door with a little trepidation, wondering what in the world she would find this time. Would her mom be a blonde now, perhaps wearing a naughty nurse’s uniform? She shuddered at the prospect. Of course, the way things were going that was a definite possibility. Before she had a chance to run down the driveway after Jilly and beg her to take her back to the airport, Will came barreling out the front door and hollered out, “Well if it isn’t my beautiful baby girl come home!”
Lila ran to meet him and wrapped her arms around him in a hug to end all hugs. She was greatly relieved to see that her Dad didn’t seem to be following her mom’s lead, no toupee, no Grecian formula, no silk pajamas. “Dad, I missed you soooo much!”
With his arm around her shoulders, Will walked his daughter into the house and announced, “We’ve missed you too, baby girl. So much so, that your gorgeous mother is in the kitchen right now whipping up your favorite meal in honor of your visit.”
Lila laughed, “Which favorite meal? I have a few, you know.”
Will let out a booming laugh and answered, “Grilled cheese sandwiches of course!”
That was how Lila came to eat three grilled cheese sandwiches in as many hours. She decided that she really needed to get ahold of herself. Otherwise, she would wind up a size fourteen and then they’d never let her back into Southern California.
After eating dinner, the Montgomery family sat on the back porch and watched a family of deer enjoy their own dinner. It was such a peaceful scene that Lila decided to forgive the doe that caused her earlier mishap. She discovered that her dad loved retirement. He claimed to have been worried about boredom overtaking him, but assured Lila her mother was keeping him happily diverted. Lila thought she was going to be sick. Her parents had always been very loving and affectionate with each other but there had never been such overt sexual innuendo. It was more than a little disconcerting.
At ten o’clock, Lila went upstairs to take a bath while her dad ran into town to pick up her suitcases from the garage that towed her rental. When she got to her room, she realized Bitsy must have tried to cure her depression with shopping before she succumbed to swearing, because her whole bedroom had been completely done over. The once powder blue of her childhood retreat had been replaced with buttercup yellow and vibrant orange accents. Lila decided that if her mom ever got bored, she could have a real future in interior design.
When she went into her bathroom, she discovered that Bitsy’s redecorating had extended there too. The claw footed tub was now sporting bright orange toe nails. She filled the tub with hot water and went to retrieve She Sins at Midnight out of her purse. If ever she needed a great escape, this was the perfect day for it.
Vivian Ashwood was not looking forward to the Fenworthy’s garden party, even though it was one of the most sought after invitations of the season. She was tired of running into the same old people. Plus, what were the chances that she was going to meet the love of her life at a tame afternoon luncheon? Slim to none, she assumed.
Vivian strolled by the banks of the pond while she waited for her best friend Anna to join her. Anna was married to the Earl of Farnsworth and they were enormously in love. Jamie always gazed at Anna like she was the only woman in the world. Vivian hoped that she would be able to find a love as great as her friend’s. But the truth was, she was starting to think that lucky day would never come.
Julius Hunkster Rapscallion, eighth Viscount Hedgeworth, could not believe that he let his mother talk him into attending the Fenworthy’s garden party. Surely there couldn’t be an affair more likely to kill him from the mind numbing dullness of it all. On the plus side, his mother gave her word that if he joined her this afternoon, she would not ask him to attend any other events for the entirety of the season. What that meant was that she could badger him all she wanted about getting married and starting his nursery, but she wouldn’t be able to throw eligible young ladies into his path.
Julius sat down under a tree by the water and relished the thought of all the insipid young misses who would have to find husbands elsewhere that year. He had no idea why his mother would be willing to go along with a bargain so obviously slanted in his favor, but far be it from him to complain. Julius closed his eyes and enjoyed the soft breeze. Just as he decided that he better get up and join the party, else his mother cry foul, he found a very soft and feminine form plopping onto his lap.
Vivie couldn’t believe what she had just done! There she was, walking along minding her own business, when her foot landed in a gopher hole and sent her sailing through the air. She didn’t even notice the man sitting under the tree until she landed on him. She was beyond mortified! After a quick check to insure her pride was the only thing damaged, she looked up and found herself gazing into the most intoxicating pair of green eyes she had ever seen.
Julius gaped at the beauty in his arms and asked, “Madam, did my mother send you?”
Vivian, still mute from her unexpected landing, didn’t answer so Julius continued, “because I’m about to do something to you that she would never condone.”
Chapter 7
Melinda’s flight to Chicago was a sheer pleasure. She was so happy to be away from L.A. that she thought she would scream from the relief of it. Oscar was beyond infuriated when he read the article in “The Countrywide Inquisitor” that morning; so much so that she was a little afraid of him. Oscar’s first wife left him for her trainer and his second wife took off with the pool boy, so the thought of his girlfriend leaving him for a janitor was not a happenstance that he embraced too readily. Oscar Solomon had played the cuckold before and it was a role he was tired of. He actually made Melinda swear she wasn’t sleeping with the janitor at Amalgamated Artists, as if she would consider such a disgusting thing. Once he finally decided to believe her, he called his lawyers and started to talk lawsuit.
Melinda was so afraid of losing Oscar she told him the rumor must have come from Josh Furber’s assistant, Lila. After divulging that information, she started to worry he would find out about the private motivational meetings that she held in Josh’s office. That’s when she further compounded the story by saying that Lila was already spreading rumors that she was being promiscuous with her agent. By the time she left Oscar’s house in the Palisades, she couldn’t remember what lies she had told as there had been so many. Melinda knew that her reputation in Hollywood was pretty dicey. She also knew that if she messed things up with Oscar, she’d be hard pressed to replace him with another man as rich and powerful.
On the flight to O’Hare, Melinda drank an entire bottle of Cristal, took a nap and started a new romance novel. She laughed thinking that with as much sex as she had, she shouldn’t
be the least bit interested in reading about it too, but the difference was that she had sex, not romance. Oscar was fifty-two years old with thinning hair and a paunchy stomach. As far as Melinda could tell, his idea of romance was brushing his teeth first. She didn’t kid herself. She knew that the only reason he was with her was because she was young, hot and one of the most recognizable movie stars of her generation. All she was to him was a pawn in the power trip of his life. Of course she really couldn’t complain. Truth be told, that’s all he was to her as well.
Melinda had recently become enamored with the thought of sleeping with a man because she was actually attracted to him. Unfortunately, this reality was not an option to her as she was saving herself for liaisons that could further her success as an actress. That’s why she began reading romance novels. For three-hundred and some odd pages she could lose herself in fantasies where she could be someone other than Melinda Forrester. She cracked the binding on her latest purchase and before she knew it, she was deeply invested in She Sins at Midnight.
Isabelle, widowed Countess of Trent, had just lay eyes on her latest quarry. After spending six years on the stage in London, she had only been wife to the Earl for three years before he died, which unfortunately was not enough time for the ton to accept her as one of their own. The sole reason she got invited to all the best balls was because she had slept her way through enough of the husbands that they insisted their wives include her. And while she was always in great demand by the male guests, the women virtually shunned her. For this reason, Isabelle decided it was time to wed another peer of the realm and fast. She had just spotted the man who fulfilled all of her requirements.
Julius Rapscallion, Viscount Hedgeworth, was without a doubt the most stunning man she had ever laid eyes on. Well over six feet, with jet black hair and emerald green eyes, he looked more like a rogue pirate than a member of the House of Lords. He was also the only man who she had been attracted to that she hadn’t managed to bed.
Isabelle stalked the perimeter of the ballroom with her sights set on her quarry. He was currently dancing with one of the ton’s old maids. She certainly did not consider Vivian Ashwood any competition. After all, what could an inexperienced prude like that have to offer the hot blooded Viscount? Julius was well known for his lusty pursuits and a dried up virgin like Vivian wouldn’t know what to do with him even if she had the opportunity.
Isabelle located the women’s withdrawing room to prepare for battle. First, she ripped out the final tier of lace that remained in the décolletage of her gown; nearly exposing her nipples. Then she dampened what remained of her bodice so it clung indecently to her overly ripe bosom. After pulling a tendril of hair down, pointing the way to her vast cleavage, she was ready to go forth and claim her man.
Melinda sighed and thought she could really identify with the Countess. After all, they were both actresses who had landed rich older men and they were both looking for a stallion of a man to have a dalliance with. Although the Countess was going to marry her stallion, while Melinda was going to have to settle for Oscar. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t keep her eye out for a hot, meaningless affair. Maybe that was the very thing she needed.
When the plane pulled up to the private terminal at O’Hare, Melinda was more than ready to get out and stretch her legs. She let Oscar’s private flight attendant carry her bags to the car as she ran in place for a few moments to get her blood moving. Without so much as a thank you to the crew who flew her across the country, she jumped into the back of the limo and popped open a bottle of Pellegrino. Melinda asked the driver where she was staying. He informed her that he was taking her to the town of Bentley.
Melinda demanded, “Bentley? Where the hell is Bentley? I thought I was staying in the city.”
Frankie assured her that she was staying in Bentley and Melinda decided to just go with the flow. She didn’t care where she was as long as she was far away from Oscar for awhile. She needed some time alone so she could try to get her story straight. She was afraid she had already told so many conflicting tales that he would catch her in one of her many lies and dump her once and for all.
For a minute Melinda wished she had been born with a silver spoon in her mouth like Vivian Ashwood. Vivian was the rich, beautiful daughter of a Duke, although Melinda realized that she was much more the Countess type than the dried up old debutante. After all, she and the Countess were ladies of the world. They knew how to get their man.
When Melinda checked into her room in The Bentley House, she found out that she was registered under the name Bertha Plunket. She wondered who had come up with that alias and thought of Lila. That was exactly the kind of thing Josh’s bitch assistant would do. She immediately informed the desk clerk to change the name to Isabelle Rapscallion, after her two favorite characters in her new book.
Thinking of her nemesis gave Melinda a thrill that she was able to get her suspended without pay for an entire month. Lila was probably holed up in a seedy apartment in North Hollywood eating baked beans straight out of a can. It was a thought that delighted her. After all, how dare that over-the -hill, fat-assed cow call her names? She was Melinda Forrester!
When she got to her room, Melinda found a huge bouquet of roses that had been sent from Oscar’s law firm. There was also a fruit basket, a bottle of champagne and a note from a girl named Amy. The message said that she was going to be picked up the following evening at 5:30 by one of the partners of the firm. Melinda wasn’t quite sure why she had to fly to Chicago to meet this particular lawyer. All she knew was that he settled a lawsuit for Prissy Calder and Prissy came out of her troubles looking like a prom queen. Oscar assured her that she would have the same result. So there she was, in Illinois of all places.
As it was only 7 p.m. in L.A., Melinda wasn’t the least bit tired, so she popped open the bottle of champagne, ran herself a bubble bath and checked in to see how the Countess was doing.
Julius was beyond entranced by the young woman in his arms. He still wasn’t convinced his mother hadn’t orchestrated the whole thing. Just the thought of it set his teeth on edge. Yet he couldn’t seem to dispel the image of rolling Vivian around his big mahogany bed, utterly and completely naked.
Realizing that he couldn’t seduce the virginal daughter of the Duke of Wentworth, without marrying her first, made him ache all the more. What was it about forbidden fruit that made it all the sweeter? That’s when his eyes strayed to the Countess of Trent. There was a brazen hussy if he’d ever seen one. Maybe she was the perfect tonic for the increasing strain on his breeches. He knew for a fact she was no innocent and that she was fair game. A good number of his friends had already sampled her charms and had given her very high marks for creativity and stamina.
Julius steered Vivian toward the Countess and as soon as the waltz ended, he bowed to his dancing partner, thanked her for the honor of her company and proceeded to find out if Isabelle was all she was cracked up to be.
* * * * *
By nine p.m., Jilly had finally gotten all the kids to fall asleep. As exhausted as she was, she made herself stay up for another hour so that she could have actual grown-up time with Bill. She’d gotten so used to communicating with him at a yell, to be heard over the noise of their offspring, that she was worried he may have forgotten that she didn’t always sound like a harridan.
Bill came out of the bathroom, crawled under the covers and gave his wife a long and lingering kiss. Then he asked, “How happy are you that Lila’s home?”
“Oh Bill, you have no idea. I’ve missed her so much.”
“I know you have, honey. Why don’t you ask your Mom to babysit the kids so you can have some fun girl time together?”
Jilly smiled, “I’ve already decided to do that.” Looking thoughtful, she added, “Have you noticed that any time Jack spends time with my mom, he picks up weird new habits?”
“I have. In fact, I think she’s teaching him Pig Latin.”
Jilly looked alarmed, “What? What do yo
u mean?”
Bill ran his hand up his wife’s arm, “What I mean is when I tucked him into bed, he told me that he ovelayed emay eryvay uchmay.
Jilly rolled her eyes, “What are we going to do with that boy? I mean why can’t he be nice and average like me? Is it asking too much to be smarter than your three year old?”
Nibbling along her neck, he answered, “Don’t worry honey. If we can keep him out of major trouble for two more years, we can sign him up for the advanced program at Elgin Academy.”
Starting to lose her train of thought, Jilly responded, “Two years, huh? In two years he’ll be speaking Swahili and inventing a new time bomb.”
Bill nibbled his way to his wife’s earlobes and before too much longer, they were using their second condom in five months.
Chapter 8
Lila woke up to the insistent music of her cell phone. She rolled over and groggily answered, “Hello?”
She was rewarded with the vivacious sound of her literary agent’s voice. “Oh my gawd, dawling, how excited are we about the best seller’s list?!”
Lila quickly rolled over and checked to make sure she was alone. She knew she was being paranoid but she wanted to enjoy her moment with Mitzie without worrying her parents might overhear. After all, her agent was the only other person in the world she could share her success with. With excitement coursing through her body, Lila exclaimed, “Mitzie, I saw the book at LAX yesterday! Can you believe it? I’m being sold in the airport!”
Mitzie replied, “Of course I can believe it dawling. But that’s nothing compared to the great news I have for you today.” Lila couldn’t imagine the news getting any better. But her agent continued, “You, my dear, have just been nominated for a RITA Award!”
A RITA was the highest honor that a romance writer could receive. It was their Pulitzer, their Emmy… Who was she kidding, The RITA, was their Academy Award! Lila realized that she had stopped breathing when she started to feel a little light headed. She finally took a deep breath and exclaimed, “Mitzie, you have got to be joking. The RITA is HUGE!”
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