by C. A. Harms
Noah’s Journey
Book Three of the Sawyer Brothers Series
C.A. Harms
Noah’s Journey
Copyright © 2015 by C.A. Harms.
All rights reserved.
First Print Edition: February 2016
Limitless Publishing, LLC
Kailua, HI 96734
www.limitlesspublishing.com
Formatting: Limitless Publishing
ISBN-13: 978-1-68058-482-0
ISBN-10: 1-68058-482-0
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.
Dedication
Spending too much time on past regrets could make you miss out on the now. And the now may be the path to the most rewarding future.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Epilogue
Prologue
Noah
A Little Over Four Years Ago
“I just can’t do this anymore, Noah. This is not the life I want or where I want to be forever. I thought you wanted more too. More than this quiet town with no real hope of being somebody.” Stacey sat on the end of my bed, the sheet still wrapped around her naked body.
Of all the times to have this type of conversation, I never thought it would be now. She chose first thing in the morning when I was already late for work.
“So what are you saying?” I asked as I stood in the doorway, fisting my shirt in my hands. I was trying not to blow up, trying to remain the rational one in this relationship.
“I don’t want to be here, in Livingston, for the rest of my life. I want to go somewhere with greater opportunities. I feel like if I stay here, I’m giving up my dreams. I feel like I’m drowning.”
She stood from the bed and let the sheet fall to the floor. Stacey was a gorgeous woman—tall, fit, and almost angelic. She was also very selfish and spoiled. Everyone called her by first name until she finally forced her parents to change it to her middle name instead. “Jessie” was entirely too hick for her taste.
“Noah, you had to see this coming,” she said. And the lack of compassion in her voice only made my anger grow.
“I had to see this coming? Are you fucking serious right now?” I took a step toward her, and she quickly slipped her shirt on over her head. “I asked you to marry me, and now you’re fucking telling me you’re leaving?” I lifted my hand and gripped my hair, pulling at the ends. “So what the hell was last night? And again this morning? One last roll in the sack before you walk out on me?”
“Come with me,” she said with a hopeful expression.
“I can’t just pick up and walk away. I just got on track with where I want to be at the station. I have the ranch and my responsibilities to my family. Plus, this is my home. I don’t want to leave.”
“Then you’re choosing this place and all of them over us.” She actually had the nerve to look hurt and offended.
I stood in the center of the room, watching as she began grabbing items and tossing them in her bag. “I have to get out of here. I gave you the option to come with me, and you declined. So that is on you.”
Heat rose in my neck, and a swooshing sound filled my ears as I fought against my anger. “It’s on me, what the fuck? You’re truly something else, you know that? You throw this shit at me five minutes before my shift starts at the station and have the nerve to blame the end of us on me. You fucking did this.”
She ignored me as she finished dressing and gathered some more of her things. I stepped up behind her and grabbed the bag from her hands, making her stop what the hell she was doing and look at me.
Stacey spun around and gasped as I leaned in, bringing my face only inches from hers. “This is all on you. You’ve been planning this escape all along. Now you want to blame me.” I stepped back and held my arm out, pointing toward the door of my apartment. “Get out,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll send your shit to your parents, because right now I can’t fucking look at you a minute longer.”
Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with her hand. I gave a sarcastic chuckle as I shook my head. She had already pushed me past my breaking point, and I was through playing the nice guy. “Cut the tears, Stacey. You wanted this, you got it. Now get out. I’m not holding you back from your perfect life any longer.”
I waited until the door slammed before I caved and sat on the end of the bed. My clothes from last night were still tossed around the room. I had given her years of my life, thinking we had a future.
I guess her being younger and unsettled should have warned me off, but her vibrant attitude was what had attracted me from the start. Now I just felt like a dumbass for not seeing what others saw in her. She was a wild card, but I took a chance.
Never again.
Chapter One
Alena
I had finally been able to get beneath Noah Sawyer’s shield. He was definitely a hard one to crack. His walls were made of steel—damned near unbreakable. But I don’t give up easily.
I’d had enough of the game we were both playing. I wanted a chance to know the real man beneath his cocky, confident mask. So when I asked him out on a date—yes, I asked him—I didn’t really give him a chance to decline.
***
“Thank you,” I said with a sweet smile as Noah took my hand and helped me from the truck. I was a pro in heels, but with my nerves and the way Noah made me feel, I was wobbling on my legs and had to focus on not falling over.
“You’re very welcome.” A sly grin spread across his lips. Noah pretended to be all confident and self-assured, but I knew it was just a front. He had a soft side, and I had made it my mission to uncover it. I had a feeling he would be one hell of a lover.
When I was steady on my feet, Noah stepped closer, pressing himself against me. “Have I told you how amazingly sexy you look tonight?” His gruff voice warmed my insides. I loved his deep, raspy tone. It had me thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts.
“You have, a couple times, but please don’t feel like you can’t keep expressing your appreciation.” I placed my hand on his chest and slid it upward to rest just over his heart. “Tonight has been a perfect night. Everything about it.”
I ran my tongue over my dry lower lip to moisten it and caught his gaze as he followed the movement. A whimper left me as he mirrored me, wetting his own lips.
“It has been,” he
agreed, not taking his gaze from my mouth. “Do you know what would make it that much better?”
I shook my head as my heart raced with anticipation.
He leaned in just a little closer, and his mouth hovered over mine. “This,” he whispered, just before covering my lips with his own.
My body sagged as he wrapped his arm around my waist and spread his palm out over my lower back. Our bodies molded together as I weaved my hands up his torso and linked them together behind his neck.
Our kiss started out innocent and sweet and quickly deepened. He swiped the tip of his tongue across my lips, and I immediately opened up to him and chased his tongue with my own.
Noah backed me up until he’d pinned me against the side of his truck. He moved his arms up, caging me against it.
“You’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman,” he said before diving back in for more.
Pulling away from the kiss, I arched my neck, and he trailed kisses along its side to the base of my throat.
“God, then don’t,” I panted. “Stop thinking so much, Noah, and just react.”
He groaned as he pressed himself against me tighter, and I could feel just what I was doing to him. His hardness pushed against my stomach as he ground against me.
“You’ll regret saying that,” he assured me.
“No, I can safely say I won’t regret a moment of the time I spend with you.” I meant it too. Whether we spent it in a lust-filled state like we were now, or being playful like we were less than two hours ago, my time spent with Noah was nothing short of perfection.
His eyes were locked on mine, as if he could see what I was thinking. We were both so completely lost in one another, we didn’t notice anyone approaching until we heard a woman’s voice.
“Noah?”
Noah looked back over his shoulder, still shielding my body with his. When his body stiffened, I rose up on my toes to look over his shoulder.
A very attractive blonde stood five feet away, staring up at Noah. I couldn’t tell whether she looked scared or just shocked, but Noah didn’t look happy.
“It is you,” she responded, then looked over toward me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Sure you didn’t, because you aren’t conniving or manipulative.” Noah’s voice was instantly cold and distant. “No, not you, Stacey. You’re sweet and kind. You never have an ulterior motive.”
Stacey, as in his ex-fiancée. My throat tightened as I watched them in silence.
Stacey shifted nervously on her feet, and I saw movement toward her left.
“Momma? I thought we were getting ice cream.”
A small boy, maybe around three years old, walked up to her side and tugged on the hem of her shirt. Then he looked up at Noah, and in that moment everything shifted.
Things seemed to be moving in slow motion, as though I could see every little flicker of someone’s eyelashes, every little rise and fall of their chest. When I looked to my left, I instantly sensed that Noah was experiencing the same thing. His nostrils flared, and his cheeks reddened in anger.
“Is there something you need to tell me, Stacey?” he asked in a disgusted tone I had never heard from him and didn’t even realize he was capable of.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as her eyes filled with tears, and in that moment I knew. I slowly felt Noah fading away from me as he walked toward the little boy staring back at him with curiosity.
My heart ached, not just for Noah, but for myself. It may have been selfish, but I could feel what Noah and I had been building together over the last few weeks slowly slipping away.
I watched as he carefully knelt before the little boy and stared at him in amazement.
Chapter Two
Noah
Have you ever had one of those moments when everything comes crashing in around you? Where you are left feeling as if you can’t breathe because the fire blazing inside you makes it hurt too much? My entire body shook with a mixture of adrenaline and fear as disgust and rage slowly burned along my spine, combined with an unexpected sense of love for the child in front of me.
How could anyone keep a child hidden from their father? How could she take from me the things she had and still face me as if she hadn’t robbed me blind?
The boy’s eyes were a replica of my own. He was a miniature version of myself.
I was torn between anger and the instant pull this little man had on me. Each time I looked at him, my heart ached with the need to touch him, pull him to me, and hold on tight. I was so lost about what the right thing to do would be.
I was eye level with him, and he looked back at me with curiosity.
“Why?” I asked Stacey without taking my eyes off him. “How?”
“I didn’t know for sure,” she whispered.
Closing my eyes tightly, I fought the urge to yell at her. How the fuck could she not know? One look at him and it was obvious.
“Listen, um,” she mumbled as she placed her hand on the little boy’s shoulder. My stomach knotted as thoughts of her taking him away hit me. There was no way she was walking away, not now.
I wanted to know. I had to know.
“I never intended for you to find out like this,” Stacey added, and her comment only made the need to tell her how dumb she was even stronger. “Why don’t we let you get back to your…?” She paused, and I remembered Alena was witnessing all of this.
I stood quickly and turned to find her still leaning against my truck, staring past me at Stacey and the child.
“Alena, I—”
She held her hand up and shook her head.
“It’s okay, really. You have some things to figure out, and I’m not that far from home. I can walk,” she said as she stood tall and forced a smile. I had spent the last few months staring at her beautiful smile. I knew the one she was giving now was not genuine.
I stepped toward her and placed my hand on her hip. “I can take you.” She shook her head. “I don’t want you to walk at night by yourself.”
“It’s only two blocks. Honestly, Noah, I’m from Chicago.” She shrugged. “And I have mace.” She winked as she slipped around me and began walking toward Heavenly Delights.
“I’m sorry I interrupted your night,” Stacey said from behind me. “This can wait.”
I spun around and faced her. From the startled look on her face, I could only imagine what my own expression was like.
“Wait?” I snapped. “For how long this time? Maybe until he’s starting high school? Or learning to drive?”
“I never meant to keep him from you. I just didn’t know,” she said in a whisper.
“Bullshit. You knew that he was mine, so don’t feed me any more garbage excuses.”
I looked down to find the little boy wrapping his arms around Stacey’s leg, pressing his face tightly against her as if to shield himself from the intensity of our argument.
“We need to get him some ice cream, and then you and I have some things to talk about. Not tomorrow, now,” I said with authority as I motioned for Stacey to walk toward Bill’s Diner.
She knelt and picked up our son, and my heart sank. I wanted to reach out and take him into my own arms. She had already taken so much from me, and I hated her for it.
Instead I fisted my hands and followed her.
As we entered the diner, I sent a quick text to Alena, making sure she made it home okay. When she replied with a simple yes, I felt like a total ass for not taking her home myself.
“Noah,” Bill Williams said as I took a seat in the booth. He stood just at the edge of the table as his eyes shifted to the seat across from me and grew wide. “Stacey Henderson, is that you?”
“Hello, Bill, how have you been?” she said with a look of distaste. Stacey always felt she was above us all.
“We’ve been good, thank you. Is this your little boy?” he asked, and I gripped the edge of the table.
“Yes, this is Austin.” My gaze shot to Stacey’s eyes as she looked
down at our son with a smile. Hearing her tell Bill his name before she told me pissed me off even more.
“What kind of ice cream do you like, Austin?” Just saying his name choked me up. Stacey shifted next to him, but I kept my eyes trained on my son. My son. I have a son.
“Chocolate,” he said with excitement, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
“Bill, can we get a dish of chocolate ice cream, please?” I leaned back in the booth and continued to look at my son in awe.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Stacey said.
“You have no idea what I’m thinking. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be sitting so calmly in your seat. You’d be trying to figure out how to get the hell away from me real fast.” I looked up at her and found her staring back at me through narrowed eyes. “I’m not an angry man. In fact, I’m generally pretty laid-back. But you’ve robbed me of what? Close to four years of his life, I’m guessing. If my memory serves me correctly, that would be about right.”
“You have to understand, I didn’t know at first.” She leaned forward, lowering her voice. “I went a little crazy after I left here. I’m not proud of the road I went on once I left, but I was finally free of this place, and like I said…” She paused as her hands fidgeted on the table in front of her. “I met someone after I left,” she confessed.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied a little too quickly.
“How do you know?”
“I had a weak moment and went after you.” I thought I could change her mind. I had never intended to follow her to California and stay permanently. “I saw the two of you together. That’s when I knew for sure that what we had was nothing special.”
She had the audacity to look wounded by my words. “How could you say that what we had wasn’t special?”
“Because you jumped in bed with the first man you met, that’s how.” I glared at her and fought like hell not to go off like a madman, spouting all kinds of shit at her. She wasn’t worth my time, but because of my son, I had to tolerate her. Austin was making a race-car ramp out of the napkin holder as he made little revving sounds with each leap of his toy cars. He was occupied with his task, and I was thankful he seemed to be oblivious to the tension in the room.
