by Lough, Loree
Gardiner picked up his pencil and said, “Why don’t you tell me where you were born, Mr. Michaels?”
“Frank,” he corrected him. “Please, call me Frank.”
During that first hour, the piano player and the dancing girls continued entertaining the men at the bar. But by the end of the second hour, Frank was the entertainment. He told Gardiner that, despite his reputation for being a cold-blooded killer, he had a heart. “And I gave it to a pretty young thing in San Antonio. Fell head over heels for her, but she ran off with a cowboy and broke my heart.”
Gardiner’s brow furrowed, and, with his pencil hovering above his tablet, he said, “Don’t tell me. You broke the cowboy’s heart—with a bullet?”
Frank smiled, thinking about how, very soon, he’d be reunited with the only woman he’d ever really loved.
On second thought, might be best to keep that part to yourself, Frank, old boy.
37
When Kate returned to Esther’s room following the rounds of family visits, she found the woman sitting up in bed, smiling.
“Goodness gracious, sakes alive!” Kate exclaimed, hugging her. “What a wonderful welcome home this will be for Josh!”
“S-sit.” Esther patted the mattress. “I h-have some-something to t-tell you.”
“All right, but I hope it’s something simple and brief. I’m much too happy and excited about the improvement in your condition to pay attention for long.”
“How long…how long we know…?”
Kate gave it a moment’s thought. “A month or so?”
“You come…’n May, w-when I was…I was in Amarillo.” Esther took a ragged breath. “Today…August second.”
It hardly seemed possible she’d been with the Nevilles that long.
“L-long enough to love you.”
Kate’s eyes misted. “I love you, too,” she said, patting Esther’s hand.
“When Josh…comes home, you t-tell him…s-something for me.”
“Oh, don’t be silly! You’re almost your old self. You can tell him!”
But Esther shook her head. “No. This…miracle.”
Kate didn’t understand, and said so.
“W-when you thought I w-was sleeping? W-when you w-worried because I w-wasn’t eating?”
Kate nodded.
“Praying. Praying hard.”
Before Kate could say how thrilled she was that God had answered those prayers, the woman continued.
“I l-lived good life. Lots of sadness, disappointment. Lots of joy, too. But, but I miss Ezra. W-want to be with him.”
That’s what Esther had prayed for? To die, so that she could join her husband in heaven?
“First, I t-tell you something.”
“As long as it isn’t good-bye—”
“Please, hush. You test my p-patience.”
Kate shrugged. “Sorry.”
“S-soon, your name will be cleared.”
She didn’t understand, and opened her mouth to say so.
But Esther held up a hand, silencing her. “You can t-talk when I finish…if you let me.”
“Sorry,” she said again.
“Josh, he love y-you, and when he get back, he need to know y-you love him, too.”
He loves me? Kate thought. But how could Esther be so sure, unless he’d told her before his trip to Laredo?
“T-tell him…everything. S-so, when y-your name is cleared, he w-will know he can trust you.”
But what if he decided he didn’t want a tainted, barren outlaw?
Esther frowned. “C-consider it my d-dying r-request.”
“But Esther, you aren’t dying. Just look at you, sitting up, all rosy-cheeked and smiling!”
“It…mmmiracle. I w-wanted to spend last moments…w-with you.”
If it was true—and Kate hoped it was not—why would this wonderful woman want to spend her last moments with the likes of her?
Esther pointed at her night table. “P-pencil and paper in th’ d-drawer….”
Kate found them and held them out to Esther.
“N-not for me. For you. Write this: ‘I s-solemnly swear….’”
Esther waited while Kate put pencil to paper, then gave a satisfied nod. “…‘t-to love and ch-cherish J-Josh, all the days of his l-life.’ Th-then, sign ‘Dinah K-Kate Th-Theodore.’”
Kate got as far as “life” and nearly dropped the pencil. How could she sign something so important with a fake name?
“Y-you love him?”
“With all my heart.”
“Then admit it! Wr-rite. S-sign. S-so I can go to Jesus, knowing I d-did w-what I could to ensure my grandson w-won’t pine away f-for you.”
Even in the waning light of evening, Kate could see the gray pallor returning to Esther’s cheeks. Noticed that she’d sunk deeper into her pillows, too. As quick as she could, Kate wrote down the rest of what Esther had dictated, word for word, hoping to appease the woman and encourage her to revive. When she finished, she held out the paper like a schoolgirl seeking her teacher’s approval.
“S-sign.”
“But Esther,” she whispered, “we both know that Dinah Theodore isn’t my real name. What’s the point of—”
“Who you are is there,” she said, poking a finger at Kate’s chest. “K-Kate. D-Dinah. J-just names.” Gasping, she slid further under the covers. Her teeth started to chatter. “C-cold…so c-cold….”
Kate grabbed the quilt from the chair beside the bed and draped it over Esther. She then retrieved several more from the wardrobe, the window seat, and her cot, and added them to the pile.
“H-hold me….”
Without hesitating, Kate climbed onto the bed and drew Esther close. “There,” she whispered, fighting back tears. “Is that better?”
Nodding, the woman said, “W-when th’ time is right, t-take Josh aside. T-tell him he w-was my favorite. B-because….”
Unable to trust her voice, Kate remained silent.
“B-because he is Ezra, inside…and out.”
Kate held her at arm’s length. “All the more reason to hold on, so you can tell him these things, yourself.”
Esther patted her hand. “No. D-don’ want him…to rr-remember me this way.” A rattling breath escaped her lungs. “Y-you and Josh will share love like ours. K-kind that w-won’t be doused or dimmed, n-not even by death.”
Esther’s words were coming more slowly now, and each syllable seemed to sap her strength. “Shh,” Kate whispered. “You need to rest.”
Esther chuckled quietly. “H-have eternity for th-that.”
Now, no matter how high she pulled the covers up or how tightly she hugged her, Kate couldn’t seem to warm the poor, frail woman, and she knew with certainty that Esther hadn’t been kidding when she’d said she would leave them. Today.
“Please, Esther,” she choked past the sob in her throat, “won’t you wait for Josh—”
“No.”
The cold monosyllable that passed her lips cut Kate to the quick, and tears began rolling down her cheeks. “But think how brokenhearted he’ll be, hearing secondhand what everyone else got to hear directly from you.”
“Th-that’s why he needs you. N-now, sign. I w-want Ezra.”
Kate reached for the pencil and paper, then scribbled her alias across the bottom.
“G-good girl.” Esther nodded, then said, “B-burn it.”
“Burn it?”
“M-must be closer to heaven th-than I thought,” she said, grinning. “I s-seem to hear an echo….”
Kate wanted to shake her, scold her, tell her it wasn’t fair, leaving this way. That it was downright mean to go without saying good-bye to Josh and Dan. Instead, she crumpled the paper and dropped it into the metal wastebasket beside the bed, and then, taking one of the matches used for lighting Esther’s oil lantern, set the note afire. When the tiny flames diminished and the small plume of smoke cleared, Kate stared at the charred bits of paper that fluttered in the bin with her every breath. She had no idea
how she’d provide the comfort and support Josh would need, but she would.
“Y-you will comfort Josh. I know th-that.” Then, “Get my Bible, p-please?”
By now, Kate was beyond wondering how this dear lady always seemed able to read her heart and mind. Some things, she decided, must simply be accepted on faith. As she lifted the Good Book from the night table, Esther said, “Open. F-First Corinthians. R-read ch-chapter fifteen. V-verse fifty-two.”
“‘In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.’”
A peaceful smile crossed Esther’s face as she reached for Kate’s hand. “Every wife, every m-mother, needs a B-Bible of her own. I w-want…I w-want you…t’ have mine.”
“But—but, Esther, you have daughters-in-law and granddaughters who would cherish this!”
“Th-they have B-Bibles. Ezra gave me this…w-wedding day.” Her smile became a mischievous grin. “S-something inside….”
Kate made a move to find it when Esther clutched her wrist. “No. S-save it. Read…w-when you’re with Josh, when you t-tell him….”
It was happening, right before her eyes, and Kate was powerless to stop it. She regretted now more than ever that she’d strayed so far from God’s love, because, if she’d stayed closer, she could call out to Him now and trust that He’d answer.
“A s-surprise waiting for y-you. W-when it arrives, y-you’ll know….”
“No,” Kate said around a sob. “Please, Esther, no. I’ve come to think of you as my own family. I’ll miss you so, and—”
“I know,” she said again. “I l-love you, t-too. Y-you’ll grieve, and s-so will Josh. You’ll b-both heal, b-because you have each other.”
Esther’s serene smile glowed brighter than the burning note had just moments ago, and, as quick as a flash of lightning, she was gone.
38
Josh stood beside Dan’s wagon and shook Leo’s hand. “Consider yourself lucky.”
“Lucky,” Leo echoed, “to be run out of town and made to pay a fine?”
“Judge Williams went easy on you. He could have sentenced you to sixty days and five hundred dollars.”
Leo shrugged. “I suppose. It’s just that I had hoped to settle in here for a few weeks, give my people a break. We’ve been on the road for months.”
“Maybe in the next town.”
“Yeah, maybe. So, how much do I owe you?”
Josh hoisted himself up into the wagon seat. “Nothing,” he said, taking the reins from Dan. “I did this to even the score, remember?”
Chuckling, Leo took off his hat and bowed low. “To old times, then,” he said, and walked away.
“I have to admit,” Dan said as the wagon lurched forward, “if we had the time, I wouldn’t have minded browsing that menagerie of his.”
“Same here. Sad how he ended up, though.”
“Aw, he didn’t seem so sad to me.”
“Can’t feel good, being pushed from one town to the next because you’ve worn out your welcome.”
“Where do you suppose ‘Dr. Leo’ found those oddities that make up his freak show?”
Josh could only shake his head.
“One-eyed pigs and three-horned goats are rare, I’ll give Leo that much, but any farmer can say he’s seen stranger things.”
Josh chuckled. “A mouse-eating spider and fleas hitched to wagons and such? I’d pay a dollar to have a peek at that.”
The cousins laughed good-naturedly as they headed north. They were nearly four days behind schedule, thanks to Josh’s decision to help get Leo out of jail.
Two days later, their bull-laden wagon rolled under the Lazy N arch.
“Well, ain’t that a sight for sore eyes,” Dan said as they pulled up in front of the barn.
“You can say that again.”
They off-loaded Charlie in the nearest corral and took care of the mule team, then headed for the house, laughing about the two-headed snake pictured on Leo’s publicity pamphlet. Their smiles faded the instant they walked into the kitchen and found Lucinda at the table, crying into her apron.
“No,” Dan whispered, “not Mee-Maw….”
George nodded somberly. “Sí. She die six nights ago.”
Josh felt as though he’d been sucker-punched as George explained that, because of the blistering heat, the family had been forced to bury their beloved abuela immediately. “Was Dinah with her?” he asked.
“Sí,” George said again. “That girl, she never leave her side.”
“We try to get Dinah out of that room to rest,” Lucinda said, dabbing at her eyes, “but that girl, she is muy testaruda!”
For once, stubbornness seemed a very good quality in a woman. Josh needed to see her, make sure she was all right, and find out if his grandmother had suffered in the end. “Where is she?”
“Have not seen her since the morning,” George said.
His wife nodded. “I have seen her walking, alone. She likes to talk to the horses….”
So, he’d find her with Callie. Josh was as certain of that as he was of the ache in his heart. “Where’s Pa?”
“Eagle Pass,” George offered, lowering his head. “Picking up the headstone. Your mama, she ride with him.”
“I’ll be back,” Dan said, “after I talk with my folks.”
“I’ll walk with you as far as the barn,” Josh said, placing a hand on Dan’s shoulder. There would be time enough later to express his grief. For now, he’d hold it together, as he always had—the eldest cousin, setting an example for the rest.
Together, they saddled Dan’s horse, then bid each other a sad and silent good-bye. Josh watched until his cousin disappeared over the horizon, then headed for the corral to see if he could find Dinah. But a strangely familiar hum captured his attention, and it stopped him cold. It was identical to the sound he’d heard many weeks ago in the middle of the prairie. Craning his neck, he followed it to the source—and found Dinah, curled up in the corner of Callie’s stall.
“Are you out of your mind?” he said, pulling her to her feet. “She’s an easygoing mare, but if something had startled her, you could have been trampled.” Didn’t she realize how much she’d come to mean to him? Wasn’t she aware that if he lost her now, he’d be lost?
Dinah dabbed her teary eyes with the hem of her apron. “Have you been to the house yet?”
With his jaw clenched, he nodded.
“So, you know about your grandmother.”
Another nod. “George and Lucinda said you refused to leave her side. Thank you for that. It’s a relief to know she wasn’t alone when—”
She turned her back to him, folded her arms across her chest, and cupped her elbows. “Oh, Josh,” she said through her tears, “if only she could have held on, just for a few more days, to say good-bye to you.”
“I have only one question.” Gently, he turned her around. “She didn’t suffer, did she?”
Dinah shook her head. “No,” she rasped. “It was a very peaceful passing. She…she smiled at the end.”
“Smiled?”
She met his eyes. “She had asked me to read to her from the Bible, and we talked about how much she missed your grandfather.”
That didn’t surprise him, for folks had often remarked about how in love they were, right up until the moment when his grandfather had died. He and Dinah would have a love like that—if he could convince her to stay.
She sighed. “I’m going to miss her so much.” A sad giggle passed her lips. “What am I saying? I miss her already.”
He gathered her close. “I know. Me, too.”
“She was a wonderful woman. And she loved you so very much.”
“I know.” He buried his chin in her soft, sweet-smelling hair. “But only about half as much as I loved her.” Josh would have said more, might have shared stories about Mee-Maw, if he thought he could do it without blubbering like a baby.
“Did you
know that you were always her fav—”
“Ah, there you two are.”
“Pa,” Josh said. He couldn’t believe how much it hurt to turn Dinah loose right then, but he did, then walked to meet his father. “George said you and Ma went to town to pick up Mee-Maw’s tombstone.”
“Yeah. Good thing your mother was there. Don’t know how I’d have chosen a proper inscription on my own.”
Josh remembered all too well how tough it had been doing the same thing for Sadie and their sons.
“Glad you’re home, son.”
“Glad to be home.” And he meant it for a few dozen reasons—one of which stood, crying quietly, outside Callie’s stall.
39
Well, if this don’t beat all!”
At the loud, gravelly greeting, Josh hooked the hammer over the top rail of the fence and looked up as five riders approached. He recognized three as the Texas Rangers who’d bunked in the field cabin with him and Dinah.
“Well, well! What brings you boys all the way out here?”
“We’ve got a beat on that weasel, Frank Michaels,” Gus said, dismounting. “You haven’t seen him by any chance, have you?”
Josh shook the offered hand. “Wouldn’t know him if I tripped over him.”
“Not to worry,” Stretch said, joining them. “Got us a pi’ture of the varmint now.”
He handed the wanted poster to Josh. “Purty, ain’t he?”
Josh shook his head. “Not my type,” he said, grinning.
“So, how’s that li’l woman of yours?” Shorty wanted to know.
“Fine.” Josh returned the poster.
“And, speakin’ of posters and such,” Stretch said, “I’ve got good news.”
“News?” Josh ran his shirtsleeve across his sweaty brow.
“Well, you remember how Shorty, there, thought your woman looked familiar, then decided it was ’cause she looked like my sister?”
Shorty groaned while the rest of the Rangers laughed, their boots stamping the dust in rapid succession.
“Yeah,” he said, somewhat uneasily. “I remember.” And he remembered how red-faced and uncomfortable the whole scene had made Dinah, and how she’d fainted dead away.
“Well, turns out she was the spittin’ image of a lady outlaw,” Gus said.
