“What do you have to be guilty about?”
“Oh, lots of things. I ran away from home when I was eighteen. I never got my bachelor’s degree. I moved to the other side of the country and I married you, a man I barely knew, and didn’t tell them about it until two weeks after it happened. Do you know what my mother said when she found out? ‘Oh, Belinda. How could you?’ She never calls me Belinda. Only when she’s upset. My mother who is a fountain of words had nothing else to say about our marriage but that. She had been planning my wedding since birth and I robbed her of that and took myself far away from her, and I feel guilty for that. So I will go fishing and pretend I like beer and listen to my mother blab on for hours about nothing to make up for my mistakes.”
He thought about what she’d just said for a moment. It was his idea to elope. He had asked her to marry him on a whim. He had never thought about robbing her of her dream wedding. He never asked her if she wanted one, because he’d had a big one the year before. His guilt was just as heavy as hers. He needed to make up for it, too.
“Why didn’t you tell them about us right away? Why didn’t you tell your friends about me?”
“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I think I was afraid of us failing. It happened so fast and at times you seemed a little too good to be true. I was scared I was going to wake up one day and find out that you used to be a woman or that you had six wives in four states, and that I would hear nothing but I-told-you-sos and feel like a big fool.”
“And then you found out that I had one former wife and parents who were horrible to you.”
“And I felt like a big fat fool anyway. I guess I should have told them. The outcome would have been the same.”
“I’m sorry, you know.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her eyelids. “I’m so sorry about everything.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“I will.” He kissed her forehead. “When I stop feeling sorry.”
“Carter…” Her eyes teared.
“I think you should know that I haven’t been with anybody else.”
“What?”
“Hey, you two!” Ellis came dancing up. “The song has changed twice already. You two look kind of nutty swaying slowly in the middle of the dance floor while everybody else is shaking their rumps.”
Carter looked around him. Sure enough, everybody else was keeping up with the fast-paced tempo of the song. He hadn’t noticed. He was too wrapped up in her.
“Go away, preggers. We’re talking.”
“Well, excuse me.” She looked back at Cherri. “Shake your tail feather with me, honey. I think we’ve lost her for the night.”
“There’s been no one else? No one? Not a hookup with a colleague. Not a quickie with a client? Nothing?”
“We’re married. I never forgot that.”
“I’ve been dating,” she blurted. “I started right after our anniversary. I’ve never been with anybody else, but I went on a few dates.”
He didn’t like hearing that, but he nodded. What could he say? He had waited so long to come after her. “It’s okay.”
“I know it’s okay. I’m not apologizing. I’m just letting you know. We’re supposed to be getting divorced.”
“I’m not divorcing you, Bell.”
“You’re not?”
“No. I—”
“You should date, Carter,” she cut in. “You should go out and date other women and play the field.”
“Bell.” He shook his head. “I’m don’t want—”
He was cut off again but this time by a man, grabbing Belinda’s upper arm.
“Hey, buddy. Mind if I cut in?”
“I mind, Theo!” Belinda shot back, shaking the guy’s hand off her. “I don’t want to dance with you.”
Carter stiffened, trying to place Belinda away from the man. But she wasn’t having it. She wasn’t backing down, either. She must have known him. He was tall, probably an inch or two taller than Carter. He wore a backward baseball cap, and a DURANT U FOOTBALL T-shirt stretched across his substantial gut.
“Why not? You’ve been dancing with this clown for fifteen minutes and you don’t know him. I’ve known you half your life. You can’t dance with me for five damn minutes?”
Belinda rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. Just because we lived on the same street growing up doesn’t mean you have any claim on me.”
“I was the only guy who liked you when you were a fat ugly teenager and now you won’t even give me the time of day.”
The hairs on the back of Carter’s neck went up. His hands balled into fists. “What did you say to her?”
“Stay out of this,” Theo said, his eyes flashing as he looked at Belinda. “I don’t know what happened to you, but you turned into such a stuck-up frigid bitch. It’s no wonder all your friends are married and have families and you are the only one who doesn’t. Come off your perch. You’re not as hot as your mother is anyway.”
Carter stepped forward but he didn’t have a chance to put his hands on the guy because Belinda went after him, grabbing his shirt with one hand, her other hand balled into a fist. She swung at him, not a girlie slap, but a full-on jackrabbit punch. The guy’s head snapped back. Spittle flew from his lips. He stumbled backward.
“I may have been a fat kid, but I was never ugly. And the next time you call me a bitch you’re going to be missing a tongue. Go home, Theo. You’re drunk. And you better hope I don’t tell your mother about this. I know she would hate to have a thirty-year-old disrespectful jackass living in her basement. Let’s face it, Theo, you don’t want her pissed off because you don’t have any other place to go.”
“I can’t believe you hit me, you crazy b—”
She lunged at him. “Say it again.”
Carter grabbed her by the waist and lifted her away from the man and out of the bar altogether.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m getting you out of here before you maim somebody.” He set her down in the parking lot.
“But Theo had it coming. Did you hear what he said to me?”
“I know, champ.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. “He had it coming and you clocked him pretty good, but I wanted to hit him. You didn’t even give me the chance.”
“Did you want to hit him?” She lost the aggravated look on her face. “Should I have played damsel in distress and let you beat him up for me?”
“Yes. It would have been nice.”
“Yo, Carter!”
He turned to see Steven rushing out of the bar. “Get her out of here now. That asshole is pissing mad and looking to stir up some more shit.”
“He’s all talk.” Belinda waved her hand dismissively. “He’s not planning on doing anything.”
“You hit him. In a room full of people,” Steven said. “If the cops are called you’re going in.”
“Shit.” She looked back to Carter and then shut her eyes for a moment. “Your mother would just love that. Wouldn’t she? Instead of paying me off, she’ll probably pay to have me offed.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her, but let me take you home just in case.”
“I shouldn’t have hit him. I just don’t like that he thinks he can talk down to me just because I turned him down. I don’t know why he thought it was okay to try to degrade me.”
“It’s not okay. It’s not okay for him to talk to you like that.”
“You guys need to go,” Steven said impatiently. “I’m going to try and smooth things over. Just get her out of here.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll take Belinda’s car. Ellis is getting her stuff out of the coat check. Just get her out of here now! I’ll talk to you later.”
He didn’t hesitate a second longer, he just grabbed Belinda and pulled her toward his SUV.
“He’s not going to do anything. Let me go back in there and talk to him.”
“No. No more arguments. Let me take
you home.”
She exhaled, getting into his car without another word.
He started it up and pulled onto the road. “Who is that guy?”
“Theo Wassell. He’s the first guy I ever went out with.”
“Why? He’s an asshole.”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “He always kind of was one, but he asked me out. Nobody else had asked me out so I said yes. He’s the kind of guy who goes in for a kiss and tries to suck your brains out. But I went out with him a handful of times, and I let him try to suck my brains out a handful of times. Then the last time I did he wasn’t content to just kiss and grope me. He pulled out a condom and when I said no he got nasty with me. Ever since then he’s been pissed at me. Trying to get with me or back at me at every shot. I shouldn’t have hit him. I know it was wrong but he had it coming. He’s had it coming for a long time.”
“I don’t get it, Bell. If you looked anything then like you look like now, then those boys in your high school were totally fucking stupid. I would have fallen over if you walked through my high school.”
She looked up at him and smiled beautifully. “You went to an all-boys’ high school, baby. I would hope I could have caused a little hiccup there. I was a very awkward teenager and my mother was so damn gorgeous. She still is, but she decided that she was going to take an active role in my education when we moved here. Both my parents worked a lot before we came to Durant, which left them feeling guilty. Which meant they chose to spend every waking moment of my adolescent years with me. My mother was in my school a lot. She volunteered to chaperone dances and she helped out in home economics class during our sewing unit. She ran every fund-raiser, including the car wash. Durant’s high school isn’t that big. Everybody knew who my mother was and everybody couldn’t help but compare me with her. I didn’t survive the comparison.”
“My parents were the opposite. When your parents were smothering you, mine sent me across the country to school. For a time I thought they sent me away because they hated me.”
“And now?”
“I’m not sure much has changed.” He laughed, but it sounded bitter to his own ears.
“That’s not true. They offered a lot of money to keep you away from a gold-digging hussy. If that’s not love…”
*
Carter pulled into her driveway, put the car into park, and leaned over to kiss her without warning. She closed her eyes and let herself be kissed. He took his time, like she was new to him, like he hadn’t already kissed her a thousand times. Part of her felt like she was sixteen and had butterflies; part of her felt like she was falling in love for the first time all over again. It was how all kisses should be. But it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t content to just kiss him anymore. She wanted to lie beside him, to feel him on top of her, inside her. She was tired of all the barriers. Emotional ones. Physical ones. She just wanted to be with him. Doubts be damned.
“I would have slept with him,” she said when he lifted his mouth from hers. “I would have slept with him if he kissed anywhere as good as you.”
“Who? That asshole from the bar?” He grinned at her in that boyish way she was fond of. “I’m glad he didn’t. I want to be the only one who kisses you like that.”
“Come—” His cell phone rang just as she was about to ask him to come inside and spend the night with her.
He glanced at the clock on the dashboard then frowned and pressed the Bluetooth button to answer it. “It might be about Ruby. Hello?”
Ah. Ruby. Somehow she had forgotten all about the little girl.
“Hi, Daddy.” Her voice came clearly through the speaker. “It’s me, Ruby.”
Belinda watched Carter’s face soften. “Hi, baby. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you. I never slept in nobody else’s house before and I wanted to make sure you wasn’t sad without me.”
“I miss you a lot, Rube. But I’m okay. Are you okay?” Belinda could hear a little worry in Carter’s voice. “Do you want me to come get you? I can be there in a few minutes if you need me.”
Ruby came first, she was reminded in that moment. She always would, and Belinda was glad about that. It made her respect him so much more.
“I miss you,” Ruby said in her soft voice. “But I don’t need you to come get me. I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m here. Talk to me.”
“Can you come get me at twelve o’clock tomorrow? Mrs. Cameron is gonna take us to get manipures and she said I had to ask you if it was okay. But she said to ask you in the morning because you might be sleeping, but I knew you wasn’t sleeping because you like to stay up late and watch TV.”
Carter smiled. “You’re right. I do. It’s okay with me if you get a manicure tomorrow. I can pick you up at noon.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome, Ruby.”
“I’m going to go to sleep now. Mrs. Cameron said it’s not right for children to be up past ten PM.”
“Okay, baby. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Good night.”
“Good night.” He hit the button again, disconnecting. “She said she doesn’t need me. It’s her first time sleeping away from home and she’s not scared and she doesn’t want me to come get her and she doesn’t need me. I kind of feel like crying a little.” He grinned at her but there was a little bit of sadness in his eyes.
“She said she didn’t need you to get her. Not that she didn’t need you.” She kissed his cheek, knowing that she had been wrong earlier. She’d said she couldn’t fall any more in love with him. She had been wrong. Because she tumbled a little deeper into it tonight.
“Thank you for bringing me home, Carter.” She went to open the door but he stopped her.
“I don’t want to say good night yet, Bell.”
“And I don’t want to fall in love with you again.”
“So don’t.” She thought about saying no, about making excuses, but the truth was she didn’t want to say good night, either. She didn’t want to spend this night without him. “Stay with me tonight.”
She got out of the car and he was right behind her. She felt his warmth on her back, and she smelled the spicy scent of his aftershave as she fished around for the spare key she kept tucked behind her light.
“You shouldn’t keep a key there,” he scolded softly. “I don’t like you living by yourself. It’s irrational. I know this town is safe, but I can’t help but think that if something were to ever happen to you, it would be my fault because I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“I’m fine,” she said softly, feeling kind of choked up.
“I know.” He linked his fingers with hers as soon as she opened the door. “I still thought about you, though.”
She walked through her living room, past the couch, and they went directly upstairs to her bedroom. She couldn’t sit on the couch and pretend that this wasn’t the place they were both thinking of. He looked at her for a moment and then around her bedroom before stepping completely away from her.
“It’s nice here. I like your house. It feels like a home to me.”
“Really? I like it here, but it’s a little too cookie-cutter for me. Every unit in this complex is the same. I would like a house one day. One of those little cottages like they have on Lafayette Drive. They have so much character and not one of them looks the same.”
“I live on Lafayette,” he said absently. “One Thirty-Two. My place has plenty of character, but it doesn’t feel like home. I can tell so much about you by looking at this place.” He picked up a small picture frame that she had picked up at a gift shop in Nantucket. “I can tell that you like to travel and that you love your friends and that you lovingly handpick each thing you own. And even if none of it matches it somehow all oddly fits together.” He walked over to her and kissed her nose. “I missed that about you when we were together the last time. I was with you but I didn’t know you like this.”
“I didn’t let you know me. I
was so busy trying to be perfect for you that I lost a little bit of myself. I had to go, Carter. You know that. If I hadn’t I would have ended up hating myself and you would have ended up hating me.”
He nodded. “Maybe. But we’re here together now.” He wrapped his strong arms around her. “Getting to know each other.” He kissed her. She felt him grow hard against her and just like that the sizzle they always had, the burning for each other, turned into fire. She gripped the back of his head, pulling him closer, taking steps backward toward the bed. Clothes were too much. They were bothering her. She wanted to feel his skin. She wanted to lose herself in him for a few blissful minutes.
He broke their kiss abruptly and gently set her away from him. “We’re going to sleep together tonight.”
“I know.” She reached for him. “Drop your drawers.”
“No. We’re going to sleep. That’s all, Bell.”
“What?” She shook her head bewildered. “Why?”
“Because it’s always sex with us. Even the first day we met. I want to prove to you that we can really be friends. That we can really get to know each other.”
She blinked at him.
“This is important to me, Bell. Please.”
She nodded. She could have refused. She could have sent him on his way. She could have seduced him. But she didn’t do any of that.
“I’m going to get ready for bed then.”
She went about her nightly rituals while he slipped out of his clothes and waited for her in bed.
She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and moisturized her skin, so aware that his eyes were on her. When she finished she slipped into bed beside him. As soon as his leg brushed hers she got a flashback to when they were first married, and those feelings of anticipation and excitement came over her. Back then, she couldn’t believe she had married him, that she’d found someone who had the power to make her feel so much. Things weren’t much different now. She still felt the rush, the anticipation, the wonderment.
She touched his dragon tattoo, trailing her fingers over its curved form and feeling the solidness of his chest.
“Tell me how you got this again.”
“Hmm?” He was looking at her through half-closed eyes, in that sleepy aroused way that always managed to turn her on. He took her fingers from his skin and kissed them. “I have a hard time paying attention when you’re touching me.”
Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel Page 21
