“Don’t say that. You don’t mean it. You’re just mad at your father. You want him to be happy, don’t you? And if you left he would be a miserable sad lump.”
“I know,” she sighed. “He needs me. Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”
“Of course, love.”
She left her a few minutes later, going downstairs to her den. She wanted to check out the jewelry of a new local artist and get a head start on accessories for the upcoming season, but after twenty minutes of staring at pieces on the computer she couldn’t concentrate anymore. She kept thinking about her conversation with Ruby and Carter’s miserable face when he dropped her off earlier. It was a little after ten. He had been gone for four hours. She didn’t want to think about what he was up to.
She turned off her monitor and sat on the old couch she kept in the den. She should just go upstairs and go to bed, but she knew that sleep would elude her. Her mind was too busy and the raging rain was unsettling. Ruby was handling it better than she was. She envied the child. She also worried about her. She had told herself that she didn’t want to confuse her, that she was keeping Carter away so that she wouldn’t think they were a couple. But it was too late. Ruby was already attached. She was already attached. And she’d sent him out with another woman tonight. He could hit it off with Molly. He could decide that being with his estranged wife was too hard, too painful. She could lose him and it would be her fault.
There was no way she could continue to be in Ruby’s life if Carter found love with another woman. It just wasn’t possible, and the thought of not seeing that little girl anymore killed her.
A loud rumble of thunder startled her, causing her to look out her sliding glass doors. A purple streak of lightning raced across the sky—and that’s when she saw the man standing at her door. She screamed.
“It’s Carter.” He yelled through the door. “Let me in.”
She didn’t move for a moment. The shock of seeing him there made her feet immovable.
“Bell. It’s me. I’m sorry I scared you. Please open the door.”
She finally unfroze enough to move. She slid the door open, feeling a blast of humid air as she did. “What the hell is your problem? You can’t be banging on my door in the middle of the night! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Do you want me to kill you? Why can’t you use the front door like normal people?” She stepped away to let him in. “You’d better be glad I didn’t have a weapon. I might have bashed your brains in or—or—or … I don’t know but it would have been bad.”
He frowned at her. “Are you done with your rant yet?”
She nodded, her heart still racing—but it was no longer heavy. He was back. He was with her. “I think so.” She touched her chest. “I’m just waiting for my heart to jump out of my throat.”
“I tried the front door, but obviously with all the thunder you didn’t hear the bell so when I saw the light on down here I figured you were in your den. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “You’re soaking wet.” She walked a few steps away from him and into her laundry room where she kept the extra towels and blankets. “Give me your clothes.”
*
Carter tried to suppress his smile when he saw Belinda walk away from him in a huff. She was adorably disgruntled in her pink-cupcake-printed nightgown.
“Give me your clothes.” A blanket and a towel were tossed unceremoniously in his face, and it took him a while to process what she was saying. “Clothes. Take them off so I can put them in the dryer. I’m not going to let you sit on my furniture with a wet behind.”
He did as she ordered, noticing that she kept her eyes off him as he stripped down. All evening he had been jumpy, unsettled. He had wondered if he was doing the right thing but as soon as he saw her, as soon as he was in the room with her, his unsettled feeling melted away.
This was where he was supposed to be.
“Wrap the blanket around you and go sit down.”
He didn’t listen immediately. Instead he stared at her while she bent over to put his clothes in the dryer. Her bottom looked extra sweet in her bubble-gum-colored pajamas. “Stop staring at my ass and go sit down.”
Busted. But he didn’t care. Still, he obeyed her barked-out order and wrapped the blanket around his cold damp shoulders. “I don’t know why you don’t have the blinds down over these doors. I don’t like the idea of just anybody looking in here and seeing you.” He pulled them shut.
“I’m the end unit. Nobody ever looks in here unless they are my creepy estranged husband.” She reappeared from the laundry room. She deposited herself on the couch and looked up at him. “Why are you here, Carter? I hadn’t expected to see you until morning.”
He sat beside her, not giving her any space. He needed to feel her warm body beside his. He had gone too long without feeling her heat. “I wasn’t sure how late I was going to be so I asked you to keep Ruby just to err on the side of caution.”
She looked up at him. She was trying to keep her face neutral but he could see the little bit of underlying sadness in her expression. Good. He wanted this night to be hard on her, as hard as it was on him.
“So how was your date?”
“We went to that tapas place downtown. I had duck quesadillas. They were made with goat cheese. It was a very interesting combination.”
She nodded. “Anything else?”
“There was a three-piece band playing. We danced a little bit.”
“Did she order dessert?”
“She invited me back to her place.”
She shook her head. “I know I asked but I don’t want to hear any more.”
“I went. There was a bottle of wine already chilling when I got there. She made chocolate cake.”
“Carter, stop.”
“She kissed me and for a moment it felt odd. I haven’t been kissed by another woman in four years. She wanted me. She started to pull off my tie.”
“Shut up, you bastard.” She tried to move away from him, to get up, but he caught her wrist. She was going to hear this.
“I was going to sleep with her. I had my clothes off. I was in her bedroom.”
She slapped him hard, with her hand half closed. The throbbing sting made his eyes water, but a little burst of joy filled his chest. He grabbed her other hand and pushed her back on the couch. Her eyes were brimming with tears. She was angry and hurt—more so than he had ever seen her. He should have felt guilty, but this was exactly where he wanted her to be. He wanted her to confront her feelings.
“Why are you so angry? Why are you crying?”
She struggled against him. “How dare you? How dare you come into my house and tell me you almost had sex with another woman?”
“I’m not sure why you’re so mad. You don’t want to be with me.”
“I never said that. I told you to go on a couple of dates. I wanted us to be even. I really didn’t expect you to go crawling into bed with another woman at the first opportunity.”
“I didn’t! I’m here, Belinda. I moved my life, my child here because I love you, damn it. I thought I came here to divorce you but I came to get you back. I’ve always loved you and now I love you more than ever. You were right before, I didn’t know you, but now I do and you’re the only woman I want, the only person I can see myself spending my life with.”
She let out a guttural sob that tore right through the center of his chest.
“I didn’t almost sleep with her. I didn’t even go out with her. I was with your father and Steven. We had dinner at Flannigan’s Pub. I love you.” He kissed her face. “I love you. I love you. You have to know that.”
“I—I don’t even know where to begin.” The tears streamed down her face. “You never said that to me before. You’ve never said you loved me.”
“I’m sorry.” He cupped her face in his hands. “I’m so sorry for that. I love you. I. Love. You. And I will tell you that every day.”
She nodded, swiping at her eyes. Her tears were just ru
shing out. He had never seen anybody look so happy and sad and beautiful before. “What the hell were you doing with my father?”
“This was his idea. He said you were just like your mother, that you’re stubborn and that I should give you exactly what you asked for.”
“You bastard!” She swung at him but he caught her hands and pulled her close. “You put me through all of this to make a point?”
“Yes. I had to. I want to be with you. Always. No more games. No more waiting. I need my wife back.”
She stared at him for a long moment. Her eyes hot. Her body tense. He didn’t know what did it. What caused the change. But suddenly her eyes softened. Her body relaxed beneath his touch. “Okay,” she breathed. “Okay. I’m yours.”
He pulled her to him. His lips needed to be on hers. He needed to taste her. She was his. Finally his, and he had never felt better.
The heat exploded between them instantly. She was pawing him, touching his damp skin, bringing him closer. He placed himself between her welcoming legs, sliding his hands beneath her nightgown, needing to touch her as much as she needed to touch him.
She suddenly broke their kiss and looked up at him, her eyes filling with regret.
“What is it?” If she backed out now, if she told him she couldn’t be with him, he didn’t think he could take it.
“I hit you.” She touched his sore cheek, and a fresh wave of tears seeped from her eyes. “Again. I’ve got to stop doing that.”
“You’ve got one hell of a swing, too, but I’m not mad at you. I deserved it.” He kissed her wet eyelids.
“I’m so sorry. I feel horrible.”
“Don’t.” He slid his nightgown up to reveal her breasts. “But if you want to make it up to me, you’ll let me have sex with you every day for the rest of our lives, or until you get old and saggy and I find somebody younger and hotter.”
“Ass,” she laughed and lifted her head off the couch until her lips met his. “I’ve missed you so much, Carter.”
“You won’t have to miss me anymore. You are stuck with me.”
An hour later he and Belinda lay naked and wrapped up in each other on the couch. He knew his body was heavy on top of hers but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He was finally going to have his wife back. His heart had stopped beating when she walked out on him four years ago and now he felt it surging back to life. He didn’t want to let her go even if it was for a few minutes.
“We’ve got to get up, Carter.”
“I’m squishing you.”
“No.” She twined her fingers through his wet hair. “I don’t want Ruby coming down here and finding us like this.”
“No, you’re right.” He sat up and found his underwear. “What are we going to tell her?”
“Nothing. Not yet. She’s very confused about us and I’m not sure if she could process all of this right now. She was really upset this evening.”
“I know, and if she knows we’re together it will make her happy.”
“Don’t you think that will send her the wrong message? I don’t want her to think that we got back together just because she doesn’t like Molly. Our relationship is more complicated than that. I think we should just ease her into us.”
“How do we do that?”
“We start spending more time together. We show her that we love her but let her see that we are in this relationship because we make each other happy. Not only to make her happy.”
“But I want to make her happy. She’s the most important thing in the world to me.”
Belinda stared at him for a long moment and for the life of him he couldn’t read her expression. But then she took a step forward and kissed him softly. “I know that, and that’s why you make my knees go weak.” She gave him a soft smile. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up before bed.”
They left the den together, their fingers locked, their palms touching. He loved the way her smaller hand felt in his. He never held hands with another woman before. The thought had never occurred to him, but with her it felt right. On their second date when she curled her hand into his he knew he loved her. She made him realize that he needed things he never had before.
“Are you hungry?” She looked at him sideways. “Or did you fill up while you and my father were laughing at me and being big fat stupid jerks.”
“Are you ever going to forgive me for that?”
“It depends.” She gave him a sassy smile. “How much jewelry can I get out of you?”
“So, so much.” He grinned back. “I love you.”
She didn’t say it back; instead she smiled shyly at him. “I’m not used to hearing you say that.”
“I think I’ve only told Ruby that, but I feel it. I felt it the first time I kissed you.”
She blushed, embarrassed by his words, but he didn’t care. He would just keep telling her until she was comfortable with it. “So are you hungry? I’ve got pizza and ice cream here just for the sleepover.”
“Pizza sounds good right now.”
She led him into her small kitchen, where he watched her turn on the oven. She liked to cook. He would build her a top-of-the-line kitchen in their new house. They could build the house from the ground up together. That was another mistake he had made in their past. She’d moved into his house. His city. His world. They didn’t build a life together. The thought of doing that hadn’t occurred to him before.
“Ruby tells me you make a mean spaghetti dinner.”
He grinned at her. “It’s edible.” He grabbed her by her hips, pulling her into him so he could gain access to her sweet-smelling neck. “You’re very edible, too.”
She moaned a little. “She says it’s her very favorite thing to eat. You’ll have to make it for me. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how hot I think men are who cook.”
“Belinda?” Ruby called from just outside the kitchen door. “Who are you talking to?”
They both froze as Ruby walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes with her fists.
“I’m talking to your father.”
“I thought he was out.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I thought you was on a date. Why are you in your underwear? Why are you holding Belinda like that?”
“I—I…”
He and Belinda exchanged looks. They were busted. Thoroughly and completely busted.
“He got done with his date early,” Belinda started as she pushed him away, “and he wanted to come and check on you but I didn’t hear the door at first so your father had to stand outside in the rain for a little while. His clothes got soaked so I put them in the dryer. I don’t have any clothes for him to put on so he’s got to sit in his boxers.”
“Oh,” she said slowly. She didn’t believe them. Belinda didn’t exactly lie but she wasn’t telling the truth, either, and Carter didn’t want to lie to his daughter.
“I think we should tell her,” he said quietly to Belinda.
“Okay.” She lifted Ruby up on the counter and kissed her cheeks. “There’s one more thing I need to tell you. I’ve decided that I don’t want your father to date other ladies. I want to keep him for myself. I like him a lot and I want to see both of you a whole lot more.”
Ruby was thoughtfully quiet for a moment. “Are you going to have a wedding? Can I be the flower girl? Are you going to live with us?”
Belinda blinked at her, clearly taken aback by her rapid-fire questions, but they were valid. They were about their future. They were questions that Carter wanted to know the answer to himself.
“I just want to date him for a little while. I know that’s confusing because we are married but your daddy and I screwed things up so we kind of have to start over. I’m going to be like his girlfriend. Do you understand that?”
“Yes. Can I go on dates with you and Daddy?”
“Yes, some of them.” Belinda nodded. “Sometimes we’ll go out to dinner or the movies without you.”
“Your mommy and daddy can watch me or Uncle Steven’s sister can watch me.
”
“Yes. That sounds like a good idea. You’re okay with this? Right?” She looked at Carter for a brief moment. “You’re okay with sharing your father with me? Sometimes you’ll see him kiss or hug me, but you know you’ll always be his best and favorite girl.”
She nodded. “I love you. I want you to be my mommy. I want you to be in our family forever.”
Belinda’s eyes widened slightly as Ruby’s words hit her. Ruby wanted a mother. She needed one, but Carter wondered in that moment if all of it was too much for her. He knew they couldn’t rush back into marriage, that he couldn’t just expect her to be his wife again, to be Ruby’s mother, but they would be there one day. One day in the near future. Maybe they were wrong to tell Ruby about them so soon. Maybe they needed to have a conversation about where they were going first.
“I love you, too, Ruby. Very much.” She hugged Ruby closer, shutting her eyes as if she were savoring Ruby’s words.
“Can we still have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow?” she asked with her head on Belinda’s shoulder.
Belinda smiled. “Of course. Now go back to bed. We’ll be up later.”
After more good-night kisses Ruby went back to bed, leaving Carter alone with Belinda again. “She took that well. Do you think we did the right thing by telling her?”
“I don’t know.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m just hoping she likes my pancakes.”
*
It was nice to just sleep with a man, Belinda thought as she rested her head on Carter’s chest the next morning. He pushed his hand into her hair, cradling her head, keeping her close so that she could hear the steady beat of his heart. She had missed this. She had missed him in her bed, in her life, in her heart. They were back together.
Not because she was sure that things were going to work this time around but because it was too hard to be without him. He had grabbed hold of her heart four years ago and never let it go. She knew she might be able to find another man, to date again. She might even find a man whom she might want to share her life with, but she knew she wouldn’t love anybody else. He’d ruined her for other men.
“What are you thinking about?”
Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel Page 27
