by Miranda Lee
‘Amazing, isn’t it?’
Angelina glanced up into Jake’s grinning face and took a mental photo of it for her memory bank. He looked so handsome today. And so happy.
She doubted he’d look quite so happy once he found out about Alex.
‘What?’ he said, his grin fading.
It constantly surprised Angelina, the way he seemed to pick up on her inner feelings, without her having to say a word. It was almost as though he could read her mind sometimes. He certainly knew whenever she wanted him again.
Unfortunately, this was almost continuously. She simply could not get enough of him. Even now, she wanted him to take her home. She wanted him to strip her off and lace her into that decadent-looking corset and do whatever it was he had in mind to do to her whilst she was wearing it.
Hopefully, he couldn’t read her thoughts. She seriously needed this breather so she could think.
‘What is it?’ he repeated. ‘Tell me true.’
‘Nothing much. I was thinking how handsome you were. And how much I like you with short hair.’
‘And I like you with long.’
She flushed as she thought of what he had done with her hair on one occasion last night. He really was a wicked man.
No, not truly wicked, Angelina conceded. But seriously naughty. A very good lover, though. Very knowledgeable about women’s bodies, and totally uninhibited when it came to using that knowledge. How on earth was she going to find the strength to tell Jake about Alex, when it meant she would have to give up his lovemaking?
Because it was all going to end once the truth came out. If there was one thing the last twenty-four hours had proved to Angelina, it was that Jake only had one need for a woman, and that was as his sexual partner. His plaything. Even his calling her his lover just now was telling. Why not girlfriend? Lover had that for-sex-only connotation about it.
No, Jake hadn’t changed in that regard. His aim had been to sleep with her. And now that he had, any complications would have him running a mile.
And Alex, let’s face it, she thought, was one big complication.
‘What a shame today has to end,’ she said with a sigh.
‘Does it have to?’
‘Time marches on. Nothing can change that.’
‘You could always stay the night with me, go home tomorrow.’
She was seriously tempted. If she’d been in bed with him at this moment, with his hands on her naked body, she probably would have said yes.
‘Sorry,’ she said crisply. ‘No can do. I have to get back home tonight. Work tomorrow.’
‘Yeah. Same here. I’m due in court first thing in the morning.’
‘On that case you told me about?’ Angelina asked, grateful for the opportunity to get her mind off sex. ‘The lady who’s dying of lung cancer?’
‘That’s the one. I have to deliver my closing address.’
‘Are you ready?’
‘I should hope so. I’ve been living and breathing that case for months.’
‘Do you memorise your speeches?’
‘Not really. I do write my ideas down. But I never try to remember them word for word. That’s the sure way to go blank and stuff it up. No, I prepare well and then I talk from the heart. You do make the occasional stumble over words that way, but the jury never minds that, if they know you’re being sincere.’
‘I hope you win,’ she said with feeling.
‘Don’t worry,’ Jake returned with a little squeeze of her shoulders. ‘We will.’
Angelina abruptly jumped to her feet. ‘Come on, let’s walk some more. I want to go see St Mary’s Cathedral.’ And she yanked a groaning Jake to his feet.
‘More walking? Can’t we just sit here and cuddle?’
‘You’ve had more than enough cuddling for one weekend. Up!’
‘Wow. I like it when you’re bossy. Would you like to be on top when we get back to my place?’
‘Get that bag and come on!’ She was already off, walking in the direction of the cathedral, not giving him the opportunity to take her hand again.
‘Oh, look!’ she exclaimed when they emerged from the park directly across from the main cathedral steps. ‘There’s a wedding car just arriving. Let’s go over and watch, Jake. I love watching weddings.’ Anything but going back to his place yet.
‘Why?’
‘Because!’
‘That’s no reason from a girl who says she doesn’t want to get married.’
‘I don’t want to be an astronaut, either,’ she argued, ‘but I like watching their exploits.’
‘I suppose you could compare marriage to flying into space.’
‘It’s certainly a risky venture.’
‘But risk can be exciting.’
Angelina arched her eyebrows. ‘This, from a man who said he never wanted to get married?’
‘Maybe I’ve changed my mind.’
Jake saw the shock reverberate in her eyes. ‘You…you don’t mean that,’ she said stiffly.
Jake immediately regretted his possibly ill-judged words. If he rushed her, he might lose what he wanted most. After all, this was just their first weekend together. Best stick to sex for now.
‘Never say never about anything,’ he remarked nonchalantly. ‘That’s my motto.’
‘For the record, I never actually said I would never get married. I just said it wasn’t a priority of mine.’
Jake felt heartened by the carefulness in her wording.
‘That’s good,’ he said with a smile. ‘I like a girl who keeps her options open.”
Her hitting him playfully on the arm broke the tension he’d foolishly created.
‘I’m just a sex object to you, aren’t I?’ she accused.
‘Absolutely. So, do you want to go look at this wedding, or do you want to go home? Don’t forget, we’ve only got four hours before I drive you home. We’ll have to set off by eight if I want to be back in Sydney by midnight. I’m a Cinderella kind of guy when I have to be in court in the morning.’
‘Decisions. Decisions.’
‘Yeah, life’s a bitch, isn’t it? So what do you reckon? Which is it to be?’
Angelina knew he thought she’d opt to go home. And she wanted to. She wanted to so much it was criminal.
All the more reason not to.
‘I think it would do you good to see that there is more to a relationship than just sex. That couple in there are about to promise to love and cherish each other till death them do part.’
‘Until divorce them do part, don’t you mean?’
‘You’re a cynic, do you know that?’
‘Takes one to know one.’
‘Point taken. But I still want to see the wedding,’ she said firmly, and walked over to press the button that would change the traffic lights. ‘Despite the fact that the bride has already gone inside.’
‘Fine by me. I not only like to watch sometimes, but also to wait. Waiting whets the appetite further.’
‘You have a one-track mind.’
‘Where you’re concerned, I have.’
‘You’d better behave yourself in this church.’
‘I’ll be an angel.’
‘Don’t be facetious.’
The lights changed and Angelina launched herself across the road, Jake hot on her heels. She could hear the organ blaring out the Wedding March even from that distance.
‘No wandering hands during the ceremony,’ she warned him as they skipped up the steps.
‘Definitely not. I know you. You won’t be able to control yourself.”
‘I will!’ she countered, but blushingly.
‘No? Pity. Well, let’s hope this isn’t one of those long ceremonies. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sit on a hard pew for more than twenty minutes, max.”
She laughed, not a good idea since they’d just entered the vaulted interior of the cathedral, right at the moment when the organ stopped. Her laughter echoed up into the cavernous and unfortunately silent ceiling. Several
heads whipped round to glare.
‘Sorry,’ Jake apologised to them. ‘I can’t take her anywhere.’
‘Stop it,’ Angelina hissed. ‘Just shut up and watch.’
He shut up. But not for long.
‘Hard to see much from this far back. Want to get closer?’
‘No! I can’t trust you to behave.’
‘True. I’ve always been a bad boy in churches. Can’t stand all the hush-hush nonsense. Makes me want to break out.’
‘If you embarrass me,’ she whispered, ‘I won’t go to your place with you afterwards at all. I’ll make you drive me straight home to the Hunter Valley.’
‘Don’t think so,’ he returned just as softly. ‘You left that pretty handbag behind, remember? We’ll have to go collect it. Although, perhaps not. You could always collect it next weekend.’
Angelique frowned. She’d been trying not to think about tomorrow, let alone next weekend. ‘I…I have to have lunch with Alex next weekend.’
‘You don’t have to do anything of the kind. Call him. Tell him it’s over by phone.’
‘No.’
‘I knew you’d say that,’ he muttered. ‘OK, go to lunch with him if you have to. But that’s just on the Saturday during the day. As soon as you’re finished with him…permanently this time…I will expect you at my place. Shall we say four? Five?’
‘Make it six.’ The swimming carnival wouldn’t finish till five.
‘That’s one hell of a long lunch. I sure hope it’s going to be somewhere public. All right, all right, so I’m acting like a jealous fool. Six, it is. I’ll book us a table for dinner at eight. You can stay over till Sunday night, can’t you?’
Angelina swallowed. She really shouldn’t let this fiasco continue. It wasn’t right. She should tell him the truth.
But she just couldn’t.
‘All right,’ she said with a sigh. ‘Now hush up.’
He hushed up, but a small boy several rows up from them didn’t. He started whinging and whining about wanting to go outside. Several warnings from both his parents to be quiet and to sit still had no effect. Finally, the father lost his patience, swooped the child up in his arms and headed with swift strides back down the aisle, past Angelina and Jake.
Angelina smiled a wry smile. She remembered full well the trials and tribulations of taking a small boy to church.
Jake’s suddenly leaping to his feet startled her. ‘Be back in a minute,’ he said. ‘Got to check on something.’ And he was off, bolting down the aisle after the man and child.
Angelina jumped up as well, and hurried after the three of them, catching up with Jake on the cathedral steps. He was standing there, staring, an odd confusion in his eyes.
Her hand on his tensely held arm was gentle. ‘You see?’ she said quietly as her gaze followed Jake’s to where the father was happily lighting up a cigarette whilst he watched his son enjoying himself immensely jumping up and down the steps. ‘No need to worry.’
‘I thought…’
‘Yes, I know what you thought,’ she said softly.
She actually felt the shudder run all through Jake.
‘Can we get away from here?’ he said, glancing around at all the onlookers who were gathering to see the bride emerge.
‘All right.’ She tucked her arm through his and they just walked in silence for a while, finding their way across the road and back into the park at the next intersection.
‘Is that what your father did to you, Jake?’ she asked gently at last. ‘Hit you?’
‘No, not my father. I never knew my father. He did a flit before I was born. It was my mother who did the honours. Man, she had a punch on her, that woman. Not a day went by that she didn’t lay into me for some reason. Just about anything would set her off, especially when she’d been drinking. Sometimes it was just the way I looked at her. I can still remember how scared I was to go home after school, right from the time I was in kindergarten. Although weekends were the worst. No school to escape to those days.’
Angelina was both horrified and saddened by his story. What kind of a mother would do that to her son? ‘But didn’t the teachers notice?’ she asked. ‘I mean…there must have been bruises.’
He shrugged. ‘I’m a boy. Boys get bruises all the time. If they did notice, they just looked the other way. Teachers weren’t always as conscientious in reporting such matters back then as they are now.’
‘But what about you grandparents? Your aunts and uncles? Neighbours? Wasn’t there anyone who cared?’
‘Not that I knew of. Mum was estranged from her family. And the neighbours we had were just as bad. It was not a salubrious street.’
‘So what happened in the end? Did you run away?’
‘I put up with it as long as I could. By the time I was in high school, I didn’t go home much so I didn’t get hit as often. I spent more and more time on the streets after school. Got into a gang. God knows how I didn’t get arrested for shoplifting. I thought I was smart but I was just lucky. Anyway, one day when I was around fifteen, I came home late and Mum started swinging at me with this frying pan. Great heavy thing it was. Collected me a beauty. I’m not sure what happened next but it was Mum who ended up on the floor. Made me feel sick afterwards, I can tell you. But then…aggression breeds aggression. That was when I walked out and never went back.’
‘But where did you live?’
‘On the streets, of course.’
‘But…’
‘Look, I survived, OK, thanks to Edward and Dorothy. Let’s not get into this. It’s all dead and gone, even the lady herself. I looked her up last year when Edward died and found out she’d passed away years ago. Hepatitis. I didn’t grieve, but I needed to know what had happened to her. Closure, I guess.’
Closure? The man who’d started shaking at the sight of a father showing even a small amount of impatience with his son was a long way from closure. Angelina was so glad that she had never used corporal punishment on her son. She’d never allowed her father to hit Alex either, no matter what.
Poor Jake. All of a sudden, she wanted to hold him and love him, to make up to him for everything he’d suffered as a child.
‘Let’s go home, Jake,’ she suggested softly.
He stopped walking to throw her a speculative glance. ‘Home, as in your home or my home?’
‘Your home.’
‘Now you’re talking.’
But she didn’t do much talking on the way home. She kept thinking of everything Jake had suffered as a child.
It explained why he didn’t want to have children himself. Clearly, he was afraid he’d be a bad father, that the cycle of physical abuse would continue. Angelina didn’t believe that it would for a moment. Not with Jake.
Still, it was what Jake thought that counted.
It was going to come as a terrible shock when she told him about Alex. Perhaps it was as well, Angelina realised, that their son was a teenager and not a baby.
‘You’ve gone rather quiet,’ Jake said as he unlocked his front door and ushered her inside. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘Wrong? No, no, nothing wrong.’
‘It’s Alex, isn’t it? You’re worried about him.’
‘Alex will be fine,’ she said. And he would be, too. He was going to be thrilled to have a father like Jake. It was Jake’s reaction that worried her.
‘So what is it?’
‘I’m worried that I might be getting addicted to this.’
‘To what?’
‘To being with you.’
He dropped the shopping bag, kicked the door shut behind them and drew her into his arms once more. ‘There are worse addictions, you know,’ he murmured as he bent his mouth to hers.
Angelina wasn’t so sure. Already it was responsible for her changing her mind about telling Jake the truth. And possibly for longer than a couple of weekends.
‘This is one addiction which I would happily subscribe to,’ Jake muttered against her lips. ‘Come on, gorgeous
,’ he said, taking her hand and scooping up the shopping bag at the same time. ‘Your breather is up.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘THURSDAY,’ Angelina muttered to herself as she set about making her bed.
Four days since she’d seen Jake. Four long, boring, lonely days. And two more till she saw him again.
Coming round to the other side of her double bed, she picked up the pillow on that side and held it against her cheek. This was where Jake had laid his head the other night.
Could she still smell the scent of him on it?
Angelina imagined she could.
It had been quite late by the time Jake had driven her home last Sunday. She hadn’t thought he would want to come in with her; hadn’t anticipated it. But he’d insisted on walking her to the door, then claimed he needed to come inside to use the bathroom before driving back.
Her panic had been instant, and intense. For how could she let him come in? The place was full of Alex memorabilia. Photos everywhere. Trophies in his bedroom. Stuff on the fridge.
She’d finally managed to stall Jake at the door, saying that the place was a mess and she’d die of embarrassment if he saw it like that.
‘Just give me one minute,’ she’d begged. ‘Please, Jake.’
He’d seemed amused. ‘Don’t tell me you’re not perfect,’ he’d said.
‘Hardly,’ she’d replied. ‘Who is?’
Her dash around the rooms had been like something out of a farce. She’d scooped all the photos on top of the sideboard into the top drawer. The same with the ones on her bedside chests. She almost missed the reminder for Alex’s swimming carnival on the fridge door, shoving it on top, along with the magnet photo of him as a baby. Alex’s bedroom was a lost cause so she just closed that door, then flung open the bathroom door so that Jake wouldn’t walk into his son’s room by mistake.
He hadn’t. But neither had he left after his trip to the bathroom, as she’d expected him to. He’d kissed her again, and soon she was ripping at his shirt and pulling him into her bedroom—the two-hour drive enclosed in that sexy car with Jake had done dreadful things to her resolve to be good—and the last thing Angelina remembered was falling asleep in his arms.
