by Moira Young
See? he says. Look how easy it is! I’m dancin! Let’s everybody dance! C’mon!
Helen’s stood there, her arms clamped to her sides, starin at him.
Suddenly he stops. What’re you starin at, rat? I said … what’re you starin at? He screams it at the top of his voice, the veins in his neck poppin out. He grabs her by the arm an starts draggin her towards the door. She cries out.
Helen! I scream. Let her go, you bastard! I leap at the cell door, fergettin I’m chained to the cot an the cot’s fixed to the floor. I land face down but scramble up right away.
Mad Dog shoves Helen at the two cellblock guards. Take her outside, he says. They take her by the arms an hustle her outta the door.
Helen! I says. No! Helen!
Mad Dog’s unlockin the door of my cell. I scrabble back onto my cot, into the corner, an kick at him as he unchains me from the cot. He grabs my arm, yanks me to my feet an outta my cell. He pulls up the metal trapdoor in the floor of the cellblock an shoves me down inside.
Sweet dreams, Angel, he says. Then he spits on me. He slams the door shut an I’m in the Cooler. In the darker than dark. The blacker than black.
I know I’ll never see Helen agin.
The girls in the cellblock stay silent. They don’t do much talkin to each other an sure as hell they don’t talk to me. They blame me fer Helen bein dead.
They ain’t wrong at that. I blame myself. If she hadn’t of bin talkin to me, if I hadn’t needed to know about Lugh so bad, we would of bin more careful. Not talked so long. We would of heard the guards an Mad Dog comin. If we had, Helen might still be alive.
But not fer long. That’s the truth of it. Helen’s time was runnin out. Everybody knew it. She knew it. She was only waitin to lose her third fight. She was only waitin to die in the gauntlet.
I seen what’s left of a person after they run the gauntlet. At least she got spared that.
She’s free now. Like she wanted to be. But she lies heavy on my heart.
When I ain’t thinkin about Helen, I’m thinkin of how I’m gonna find a way outta here. Midsummer eve, she told me. I gotta git to a place called Freedom Fields in the Black Mountains by midsummer eve. Jest over three weeks from now.
So I watch. An I wait.
My chance is gonna come soon. I know it will. It must come.
It must.
I stand in the middle of the Cage. Stare out at the crowd. They jump to their feet an roar fer me. I’m the biggest draw they ever had in Hopetown. They pack in when I’m fightin.
I look up through the top bars. Nero’s there, like always. Perched on top of the light tower that stands right next to the Cage. It ain’t carried light since Wrecker days, of course. Now all it carries is the people who clamber up to watch the fights from there. The light tower’s the cheapest seats there is.
Essept nobody sits there when I’m fightin. Not with Nero perched on top. Everybody’s skeered of him. They all believe that crows bring death. Defeat. Destruction. They believe I git my powers from him.
I like to look up an see him there. He always stays till I win an then he flies off. He’s done it since my first fight.
But my power ain’t down to Nero. It’s down to the red hot. That’s what keeps me winnin.
There’s a girl in the front row today. Tall, gold skinned, with a proud nose.
She ain’t like most what comes to the Colosseum. Other people might not take no notice, but the moment I see her, I know her right off fer a warrior. She’s got a look about her. She takes things in with quick eyes, things that other people’d jest pass over without noticin.
An she don’t take leaf from the chaal man when he offers it. Not like everybody else who comes to the fights. Neether do the three girls with her take any.
In fact, they jostle him so’s his basket tips out an then they scuff all the chaal leaf unner their feet so they git all crushed an filthy. When a armed guard comes over to see what’s goin on, they pretend it warn’t nuthin to do with ’em.
She sees me lookin at her, watchin what they’re doin. Raises one eyebrow as if to say, what’s it to you anyways?
The cage door opens an my opponent enters to boos an jeers. She’s a tough-lookin, brown-skinned girl, name of Epona. She only arrived a couple of days ago. I ain’t never fought her before but the word is she fights dirty. The Cage allows pretty much anythin—hits, kicks, stranglin, twistin legs an arms—but not bitin or gougin. I heard she’ll try both if the cagekeepers ain’t got a clear view an she gits the chance. I’ll hafta watch her.
I put the girl in the front row outta my mind. I put everythin outta my mind. I clear it so the red hot can take over. That’s the way it’s gotta be if I wanna survive.
The keeper sounds the gong an we’re off.
Epona gits me in a stranglehold on the ground. While I’m strugglin to git free, I look up an there she is, the girl in the front row, starin right at me. Our eyes meet.
She’s tryin to tell me somethin. But what? What is it?
My concentration slips. Epona’s got advantage. She shuffles us around, outta sight of the keeper, an bites me on the hand.
I roar with anger. The red hot kicks in an I’m back in the fight, full strength. I throw Epona offa me. I git her on the ground in a leg an arm twist. She moans. I twist harder. Then even harder.
Quit! she yells. Quit!
Epona’s first loss. She glares hate at me as they take her from the Cage.
I look at the front row. The girl an her friends is gone.
Damn her. She nearly made me lose my fight.
I’m in my transport cage on the back of the mulecart, bein driven back through Hopetown to the cellblock. Two armed guards sit up front an, like always, crowds surround the cart. Everyone wants to see the Angel of Death close up. The brave ones reach in through the bars an try to touch me so’s they can brag to their friends later. I snap my teeth at ’em an they shrink away, shriekin with excitement.
The warrior girl pushes through till she’s close beside the cage. She’s about my height. She’s got golden skin with tiny freckles sprinkled all over. She’s huddled inside her cloak, but I can see she’s got curly hair the color of dark copper an eyes green as forest moss. She’s the most beautiful girl I ever seen.
You nearly made me lose that fight, I says.
I’m sorry you didn’t, she says. That’s my girl you beat.
Epona? I says. Whaddya mean, yer girl? Who are you?
I’m Maev, she says, walkin alongside. We’re the Free Hawks.
I look closer at who’s walkin beside the cart. Three tough-lookin girls, the ones who was sittin beside her in the Colosseum.
Look around, says Maev.
I scan the crowd through the bars of my cage. Another girl in a robe. She moves it slightly so I can see the crossbow at her side. So they’re smart enough to smuggle weapons past the Gate guards of Hopetown. As I look over the crowd, another girl nods at me.
So Epona’s a Free Hawk too, I says.
She is, says Maev. An we’re gonna git her outta here.
My heart skips a beat. How? I says.
I’m workin on it, she says. Security’s pretty tight here. But in the meantime, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t git my fighter killed.
The Free Hawks is fighters, I says.
Warriors, she says, like you. An occasional highway robbers.
An you don’t want Epona to lose, I says.
That’s right, she says.
Well I don’t wanna lose eether, I says. Losers go down to the gauntlet.
That’s true, says Maev.
Maybe we can help each other, I says.
My thoughts ezzackly, she says.
Our eyes meet. How do I know I can trust you? I says.
She gives the nod to two girls standin next to one of the armed street guards. They move in on him. Suddenly a surprised look crosses his face. He starts to slump to the ground. They catch him an drag him back into a dark doorway. They step out agin an disappe
ar into the crowd.
You better not try that too often, I says. Where’re you stayin?
We’re holed up in the northeast sector, she says. There’s a empty shanty in a place called Spanish Alley.
I’ll git word to you, I says. I’ll send my sister. Her name’s Emmi.
I’ll be waitin, she says.
Then she’s gone.
I ain’t seen Emmi fer a good few days now. Not since Helen told me about Lugh. Not since I spoke to Maev.
Every mornin, when the water carriers show up jest before dawn, I peer through the gloom of the cellblock to see if she’s with ’em. I started to ask one of ’em, a skinny little boy with scared eyes, if he’d seen her, but he ran off the moment I opened my mouth to talk.
I’m startin to git worried. I need to see her. Make sure she’s all right. An I need to talk to her about Lugh. About Maev an the Free Hawks. About my plan.
The cellblock door opens. The weak light of dawn trickles in. The guards light the wall torches as the water carriers shuffle in an start emptyin their buckets into the troughs.
This time Emmi’s with ’em. I let out my breath in relief as she makes her way over to my cell, carryin her heavy bucket carefully so’s it don’t slop too much.
Nobody’s lookin our way. I go over to the trough, kneel down an start scoopin up water, splashin it over my face, neck an hands while she pours it out slowly from her bucket.
Where you bin all this time? I was gittin worried, I says.
I couldn’t git away, says Emmi. Miz Pinch had bad toothache the past few days. She warn’t sleepin like usual. It’s back to normal now.
Are y’all right?
I’m fine. You look awful.
I ain’t bin sleepin much eether, I says. Listen, Em, I found out where they took Lugh. It’s a place called Freedom Fields. An I met somebody who’s gonna help us git outta here.
Her eyes widen. Really? Who?
Her name’s Maev, I says. I’m gonna need you to git a message to her.
Okay, she says. Where do I find her?
She’s stayin in a empty shanty in Spanish Alley, I says. Northeast sector. D’you know it?
Yeah, I think so, she says.
Good, I says. All right, here’s what you need to—
Hey! Hey you! Girl! A guard’s lookin our way, frownin.
I better go, says Emmi.
Come back tomorrow fer the message, I says, it’s important.
I’ll be here. Oh! she says. I nearly fergot!
She pulls somethin outta her pocket an hands it to me. A smooth pink stone. My heartstone that Miz Pinch stole from me.
She flashes me a big grin. I took it when she warn’t lookin, she says.
Thanks, Em, I says. I shove it down inside my vest, next to my heart.
Girl! What’s takin so long over there? The guard starts to head over to us.
See you tomorrow, Saba. Emmi picks up her bucket, ducks her head down an scuttles past the guard an outta the door.
The cellblock guards lead me, chained at wrist an ankle, into the female fighters’ exercise yard. Everybody’s here, they always are fer the evenin session.
I need to speak to Epona. Tell her about my plan. I take a quick look around. There she is, with a group of girls.
The Angel of Death don’t talk to nobody. That’s how I like it. So I cain’t jest walk over to her, it ’ud draw too much attention. I’ll hafta be careful about how I do this.
She looks my way an I catch her eye. Jerk my head a little bit, to tell her to come over, I wanna talk. Her eyes widen, but she gives me a nod. She’s smart. She’ll wait fer the right moment.
I stand while the guards unchain me so’s I can move about. The male fighters is in the exercise yard next to ours. Now they start up like they always do when they see me. They come crowdin up to the chainlink fence, makin kissin noises an callin out, Help! It’s the Angel of Death! Save me!
I used to glare at ’em, but it set ’em off even more. Now I jest ignore ’em.
There’s one, though, who don’t come to the fence. He leans in the corner of the men’s yard, one leg crossed over th’other, cleanin his fingernails with a bit of twig like he ain’t got a care in the world.
I ain’t seen him before. He ain’t battered up like the rest of ’em, so he must be new. He ain’t even had his head shaved yet.
Jest then, like he feels me watchin him, he stops what he’s doin. He lifts his head. Our eyes meet. He tosses the twig away, saunters up to the fence an hooks his hands into the chainlink.
He don’t say a word. He jest runs his eyes slowly over my body, right down to my feet, then up agin. Th’other men whistle an jeer. I feel heat rushin through me. Feel it strain my chest, my neck, my cheeks. I know I must be bright red. Then he smiles. A lopsided, crook of a smile.
My fists clench. Cocky bastard. Who does he think he is?
So I do the same to him. I cross my arms over my chest an look him up an down. Brown hair to his shoulders. Silver gray eyes in a tanned face. High cheekbones, a shadow of beard. Crooked nose, like it’s bin broke. Lean but strong lookin. Like he knows how to take care of hisself.
Our eyes meet agin.
Like what you see, Angel? he says.
I step to the fence. Hook my hands into the links, next to his. I lean in close. He’s got tiny white lines around his eyes from squintin. Or maybe smilin. He smells of warm dust an sage.
You ain’t my type, I says.
As I turn on my heel an walk away, one of the men calls out, She sure told you, Jack!
I hear him laugh.
His name’s Jack.
Heat burns into me. Crawls over my skin. A trickle of sweat runs down my chest. I pull out the heartstone tucked safe inside my vest. It’s warm. No. Hot.
That’s strange. I look at the sky. The sun’s dyin in the west. The day should be coolin down.
But it feels like high noon. White hot.
Epona makes her way slowly in my direction. She does it so’s you wouldn’t notice unless you was lookin out fer it. At last she stops a little ways off from me. She squats down an starts tracin in the dirt with her finger.
I start with my usual exercises. Stretches first. Arms an then legs.
I talked to Maev, I says. I speak in a low voice, don’t look at her direct.
I saw her at the fight today, she says.
Looks like we’ll be workin together to git outta here, I says.
Suits me, she says. What’s the plan?
How many Hawks is there? I says.
Forty some odd, she says.
Can Maev git ’em all here? I says.
Yeah, she says. But they won’t all git through the Gate past the guards. That many girls ’ud make the Tonton suspicious, even if they came in smaller groups.
Maybe they wouldn’t git suspicious if there was a lotta other people tryin to git in at the same time, I says.
Go on, she says.
I’m in the Cage agin in two days, I says. I’m due to fight you. I plan to lose that fight. When people hear the Angel of Death’s on a losin streak, they’ll pack the place out. The Tonton won’t be able to keep track of who’s comin an who’s goin. They’ll pull most of the guards away from the cellblocks to help keep the crowds unner control.
She grins. A quick flash of white teeth, a dimple in her cheek. A completely different girl. I like the way you think, she says.
I’m gonna lose aginst you three times, I says. Then I’m gonna run the gauntlet.
She gives a low whistle.
Oh, I got no intention of dyin, I says. That’s where the Hawks come in. When I start to run that gauntlet, th’only people on eether side’s gonna be Free Hawks. They’ll pull me down all right, but only to help me disappear.
I git it, says Epona. It’ll take a little while fer everybody to figger out yer gone but when they do … all hell’s gonna break loose. That crowd ain’t gonna like bein cheated of the Angel’s blood.
An while that’s goin on, I sa
ys, you’ll be escapin from the Cage an …
She looks around the yard, at the rest of the fighters.
… the Hawks’ll be settin all of these free, she says. Then we’ll burn Hopetown to the ground. You’ll help us, won’t you? You know this place an the guards better’n anybody.
Of course I will, I says. I look her straight in the eye when I say it.
Lugh always says it’s the best thing to do when yer tellin a lie.
Emmi manages to find Maev in Spanish Alley an tell her about my plan.
Maev thinks it’ll work fine. She’s already sent fer the rest of the Hawks an, over the next few days, they’ll all be gittin ready.
She sent word back with Emmi that once they smuggle me through the gauntlet, we’ll head straight fer the cellblocks where I’ll help ’em set all the fighters free. After we set fires goin all over town, we’ll make our way to the northeast corner, well away from the Gate. Everybody else’ll be leavin the burnin town that way. Not us. The Hawks is makin a hole in the palisade fer us to escape through. One of the Hawks’ll bring Emmi there.
So that’s it.
Well … not quite. I’m fine with everythin up to the point where the Hawks smuggle me through the gauntlet. After that, I got other plans fer me an Em.
I lose to Epona.
I make it look good. Real good. I let my right foot slip an Epona’s on me like a jackal on a corpse. She gits me in a strong headlock. I push back the red hot that tells me to fight back.
In the blue skies above the Colosseum, Nero swoops an screams with fear. I wish I could tell him why I’m doin what I’m doin, but I cain’t.
At first, the crowd cain’t hardly believe it. You can see it in their faces. Not the Angel of Death. She’s unbeaten. Unbroken. Unstoppable.
But then they git the whiff of blood, my blood, an they howl fer more. In the end, they don’t care whose blood it is.
Maev’s in the front row. As I lie on the ground, our eyes meet. She nods. That’s one fight down. Two more to go.
I ain’t bin back in the cellblock more’n a few minutes when the door slams open.
