by Moira Young
No! she says. An you cain’t make me! I hate you, Saba!
I turn an start walkin fast towards where we tethered our horses while we found out who was followin us. We hid ’em well outta sight.
Excuse us fer a moment, I hear Jack say.
He sprints after me an grabs my arm. I wanna talk to you, he says.
I yank my arm away an keep walkin. There ain’t nuthin to talk about, I says. They’re leavin an Emmi’s goin with ’em.
They wanna help, he says. They wanna do somethin. Maybe help make the world a better place. C’mon, Saba, what’s yer problem with that?
I keep walkin.
He goes around in front of me.
What’s the matter with you? he says. Talk to me.
While he’s talkin, I try to dodge around him, right then left, but he blocks my way every time I move a foot. My temper’s dancin. It’s itchin fer a fight. I clench my teeth, my fists.
Git outta my way, I says.
No.
I’m goin to git the horses. Git outta the way, Jack.
Not till you tell me why you got such a burr in yer britches, he says.
Fine, I says. You wanna know what’s wrong? It’s this … crowd of people trailin along behind me, slowin me down, an I’m sick of it, that’s what’s wrong! I don’t care about makin the world a better place. All I wanna do is git Lugh back. But I keep gittin trapped. I leave Emmi somewhere safe an she follows me. The Pinches snatch us an I end up in Hopetown in the Cage. I finally ecscape an, thanks to you, I ain’t only lumbered with Emmi agin, but here we are in the middle of nowhere an Ash an Epona’s pitched up. An why d’you think that is, Jack?
You know why, he says. They wanna help.
Are you blind? I says. They only followed us here because … d’you like Ash?
What kinda question’s that? Of course I like her. What’s not to like?
No, I says, that ain’t what I mean. I mean … do you like her? Because she likes you. A lot.
What? He laughs. Don’t be stupid.
You really cain’t see it? I says.
He shakes his head. Yer bein ridiculous, he says.
Oh am I? I says.
I push past him. Head to where the horses are. My skin’s pricklin. My belly clenches. I’m hot all over, head to toe. I start to untether Joy an Hermes.
He strolls up with his hands in his pockets. Stands watchin me.
If I didn’t know better, he says, I’d think you was jealous.
Jealous! I glare at him. Whaddya mean?
I mean, he says, that you want me fer yerself. You jest don’t wanna admit it.
I stare at him. Then, Go to hell, Jack, I says.
C’mon, he says, admit it. Leave me alone!
I cain’t look at him, cain’t listen to him, cain’t think about things I don’t wanna think about. Feel things I don’t wanna feel. I can only think about Lugh. Nuthin but Lugh an gittin him back.
All I want from you is the fastest way to Freedom Fields, I says. I’m goin on from here by myself.
By yerself, he says. Are you sayin you don’t need me?
I don’t need you, Jack.
Yer wrong. You need all of us. You jest don’t know it yet. The Tonton won’t take kindly to their King bein killed. They’re gonna want somebody to pay the price. I’d almost put money on them goin ahead with their ceremony. If yer gonna save Lugh, yer gonna need all the help you can git. An believe me, once we reach Freedom Fields, you’ll be damn glad we’re with you.
I lean my head aginst Hermes’ side fer a moment an close my eyes.
You ain’t gonna let me go by myself, I says.
No, he says.
You cain’t stop me. I could jump on Hermes, right now, an ride away as fast as I can.
We’d follow you.
Trapped.
You always know best, don’t you? I says.
I like to think so, he says. An that reminds me, you owe th’others a apology fer bein so rude an high-handed back there.
What? I says.
Apologize, he says. Fer bein so damn ungrateful.
I narrow my eyes. I don’t learn manners from a thief, I says. Cuz that’s what you are, ain’t it Jack? That’s what you do to git by.
I might be a thief, he says, I might not be. One thing’s fer certain though. I ain’t the one they call the Angel of Death.
He knows jest where to stab me.
You bastard, I says.
If it makes you feel better, he says.
He gives a little bow of his head, turns and walks away.
Jack picks up the pace.
He says he ain’t certain how long it’s gonna take us to git to Freedom Fields. Says it depends on whether we run into any trouble on the way but it might take us a week or it might take us ten days.
Ten days. With midsummer twelve days away.
The sun beats down on us, white hot an merciless. The air shimmers, heavy an thick. It’s hard to breathe. I pull my sheema down over my forehead.
Ash rides at the front with Jack an makes up to him like nobody’s business. Even he must notice it by now. She rides so close to him that her leg touches his. She looks at him all the time. She leans over an says things that make him throw his head back an laugh like he never heard nuthin so funny in his life.
It’s sick-makin.
Or it would be, if I cared.
Which I don’t.
Liar, whispers the voice inside my head. Liar, liar, liar.
We pass through the Wrecker city an cover another four leagues before we stop fer the night. Jack calls this real mountain country. The trail’s bin snakin around the edges of steep, heavily wooded slopes that all press in close together.
This land don’t please me. Too closed in. Too dark. Not enough sky.
We set up camp inside the ruins of a big stone buildin that stands beside a stream in a little rocky valley. Nero swoops in an out through the windows, cawin with glee as he scatters the roostin pigeons. Ash an Jack bring down a couple of ’em fer supper.
They all chatter away while they build a fire an git the water boilin fer a brew of sage tea. Epona plucks an guts the pigeons with Emmi’s help. Then she shoves ’em on a spit an sets ’em to roast.
I sit on my own a little ways off, pullin at tufts of grass, mullin over what Jack said to me.
After a while Emmi comes over. Mind if I sit down? she says.
I shrug. Suit yerself, I says.
She sits herself down beside me. We don’t say nuthin fer a bit, then, I’m sorry fer sassin you, she says. An I shouldn’t of stuck out my tongue. Lugh’d be mad if he knew.
Don’t s’pose he’d be too impressed with me neether, I says. Losin my rag with you like that.
Guess we’d both be in trouble. Epona’s nice. An Ash. Don’t you think?
I grunt.
Well I like ’em, she says.
I don’t say nuthin.
They’d like to be yer friends, you know, she says.
Huh, I says.
She kneels up an takes my hand. We’re gonna find Lugh. I know it. We’re all gonna help you. Me an Ash an Epona an Jack.
You would of bin safe with Mercy, I says, pullin my hand away. You should of stayed there, like I told you to.
I know, she says. But I’m stubborn. Like you.
We look at each other. Then we smile.
Yeah, I says. I guess you are at that. Listen, Em, I … I’m sorry. I know I ain’t bin very nice to you. I don’t mean nuthin by it, you know that, don’t you? It’s jest … I’m worried about Lugh. Worried that … that maybe we won’t—
I know, she says. I worry about him too. Jest like I worry about you. I couldn’t hardly stand it back in Hopetown when you was fightin in the Cage. Every day I was so afeared that you’d die an leave me.
I won’t leave you, I says. I promise. I sigh. I’m gonna try to be a better sister to you, Emmi.
It’s okay, she says. You don’t hafta. I’m kinda used to you the way you are.
She kisses me on the cheek, real quick. She goes back to the fire to join th’others. I sit there a minute or two, till the lump in my throat goes down. Then I walk over. The conversation stops. They all look at me. Essept Jack. He stays crouched by the fire an makes hisself busy pokin at it with a stick.
I got somethin to say, I says. To all of you. I know I bin actin like I got a … a burr in my britches, bein ungrateful an cantankersome an … well … I’m sorry. An I wanna say … I wanna say thanks. Fer comin with me. Fer tryin to help me find Lugh. I’m grateful.
They look at me. Like they’re waitin fer more.
That’s it, I says.
Ash shrugs. We’re doin this fer everybody, she says. Not jest you an yer brother. It’s bigger’n that.
We’ll find Lugh, Saba, says Epona. We’ll help you git him back.
She smiles an they go back to their cookin an chattin.
I done what Jack said. What was right to do. Now I walk away from ’em quickly. But my heart feels lighter. More hopeful.
A hand on my arm stops me. Jack. That was well done, he says.
An, like every other time Jack’s touched me or come near me, heat washes over me, through me, around me.
Don’t touch me, I says.
He steps back, holdin up his hands. His mouth’s a tight line. Sorry, he says. My mistake. It won’t happen agin.
As he goes back to join th’others, I pull the heartstone outta my vest an curl it in my fist. Hold it while it cools down.
I look up at the sky. The first stars is out. An the moon. Every night it creeps along in the sky, closer an closer to where it’ll be at midsummer. There ain’t nuthin gonna stop it.
We’re in a race, the moon an me. An it’s a race I cain’t afford to lose.
Maybe it ain’t such a bad idea to have some help. I’ll put up with anythin if it means I git Lugh back safe. Anythin an anybody. Even Jack.
We slide offa the horses an stand on the edge of the escarpment. We look over a dry river gorge to the mountain on th’other side.
It towers above us, dark an jagged an dangerous. Behind it, more mountains stretch as far’s the eye can see.
Is this th’only way to Freedom Fields? I says.
No, says Jack, I brought you this way because I thought you’d enjoy the scenery. He glares at me an I glare right back. We bin snappin an snipin at each other ever since the Wrecker city.
Them mountains look awful big, says Emmi.
They’re called the Devil’s Teeth, says Jack. Look. About halfways up. D’you see it? That’s the One-Eyed Man. That’s where we’re headed. That’s the plan.
He points out a buildin that clings to the side of the mountain. I probly wouldn’t of noticed it otherwise. It’s made of the same dark stone as the mountain. It’s long an low, set well back into the rocks. A narrow white track zigzags to it from the gorge below. Smoke trickles out from a crooked chimley.
What’s the One-Eyed Man? says Emmi.
A tavern, says Jack.
Epona frowns. She says, An we’re goin there because …
… you’d like a drink? says Ash.
Jack shakes his head. The landlord’s a friend of mine, he says. Ike Twelvetrees. He’s a good pair of hands. Dependable. Jest the man fer this kinda thing.
I stare at him. Oh no, I says, no way. You ain’t askin him to come with us.
Yer right, he says. I ain’t gonna ask him, I’m gonna tell him.
An you an this … this …
Ike, says Jack.
This Ike, I says, the two of you’s such good friends that he’s gonna drop everythin an come with us jest because you tell him to.
That’s right, he says. You got a problem with that? He gives me a fierce look, like it might put me off.
Yeah, I says, I do as a matter of fact. An I also got a problem with you tellin us this is th’only way to Freedom Fields. I think yer takin us this way because you wanna see yer friend Ike.
This ain’t no social call, Saba, he says.
Oh, so you ain’t denyin it!
Look, d’you wanna find yer brother or not?
Of course I do!
Then shut up an mind yer footin on this slope, he says. I’ll go first.
Jack an Ash an Epona go first. They disappear over the edge of the escarpment as their horses start to pick their way carefully down the slope.
All right, Em, I says. You go now. Nice an slow. Give Joy her head.
The earth’s dry, pebbly an loose. Hermes moves along sure-footed, but fer some reason Joy’s playin up skittish. Em’s havin trouble controllin her.
Whoa! I pull Hermes up, jump down an pick my way over to her. You better git off, I says. We’ll let Joy go down on her own.
I’ve jest lifted Emmi offa Joy’s back when Ash calls out.
Wind’s changin direction!
Epona points at the sky. Thunderheads! she shouts.
A great towerin bank of brown clouds come rollin at us from the northeast. They’re movin hellish fast. Lightnin forks down. I count. One Missus Ippi, two Miss—thunder rumbles. It’ll be on top of us any moment.
Those are rain clouds! Jack shouts. Hurry up!
I go to take Emmi by the hand but she’s gone. She’s already headed down the slope on foot, holdin Joy’s rope in her hand. Joy whinnies nervously, shyin an pullin back. Her feet’s slippin in the loose earth.
I start after ’em.
Emmi! I call. Let Joy go!
Jest as I say it, Emmi tugs too hard. The pony throws her head back an rips the rope outta her hands.
Joy pulls herself the few feet up the slope an gallops off, back the way we jest come from.
At that moment, the clouds crack open.
Rain pours down on top of us in sheets. In seconds, we’re drenched through to the skin.
You idiot, Emmi, I says. I said to let Joy find her own way down. Why cain’t you jest do what I tell you fer once?
Saba! Jack’s voice. Muffled by the rain. Git offa that slope now!
Don’t tell me what to do! I yell back.
I throw Em onto Hermes’ back an lead him down. The ground’s turnin to mud unner our feet.
You took yer sweet time, says Jack when we git to the bottom.
Don’t start with me, Jack, I says. The pony’s gone. Bolted fer home.
That’s jest great, he says. The river’s started to run. If the rain keeps up like this, we could git a flash flood. We gotta git across before we’re trapped in the gorge.
We start towards the river’s edge but as I lead Hermes, I feel him limp badly. His left back foot.
Jack! I shout. There’s somethin wrong with Hermes!!
Okay! I’ll take Emmi across! he calls.
I run around an lift Hermes’ hoof. He’s picked up a nasty thorn—must of bin when we passed by them hotprickle bushes—an it’s worked its way in. I lever it out with my knife.
There you go, I says. That should do it.
Him an me’s headed fer the river when somethin makes me pause. I frown. I feel … I know there’s somethin not quite right, but … I shake my head. No time to stop an think now.
When we reach the riverbank, the thick reddish brown stream of muddy water’s flowin fast. It catches on a dead tree lyin on the riverbed, turns it this way then that way, slowly, like it’s makin up its mind what to do with it. Then it lifts the tree an rushes it downstream.
The riverbed’s narrow here but deep. The banks ain’t wide. If the rain keeps fallin like this, it ain’t gonna take long fer it to overflow its banks an fill the gorge. We’ll be swept downstream if we’re caught in it.
Epona an Ash is almost at th’other side.
Be careful! calls Epona. The riverbed’s all churned up mud! It’s hard to keep yer footin!
Jack heels Ajax an he starts to wade into the water. Emmi’s sat behind Jack, clingin to his waist.
Suddenly I know what it is that ain’t right. My heartstone’s gone. I run back to where I took the thorn from Hermes’ foot. Ther
e it is, lyin in the mud. I snatch it an shove it deep into my boot. Run back to the riverbank.
In time to see Ajax stumble.
In time to see Emmi lose her grip on Jack’s waist an fall into the river.
Emmi! I cry.
She cain’t swim. Without thinkin, I dive in to save her. I surface to see Jack haulin her outta the water by the back of her tunic. He swings her up in front of him.
Is she okay? I call.
She’s fine! he says. Jest git yerself across!
Hermes plunges past me. He’s had it with waitin. He’s crossin by hisself. Looks like I gotta do the same.
The water’s reached my chest now. The wicked current wraps itself around me. I ain’t took more’n four steps when somethin bumps into me. I look down.
It’s a human leg bone.
I gasp.
All around me, the dead are risin.
Another leg bone bobs to the muddy surface. Then a skull. A arm bone. They swing lazily. The current grabs ’em an carries ’em away.
Wreckers must of used the dry riverbed as a mass grave an now the heavy rain’s churnin it all up.
I snatch my hands from the water, hold my arms high, outta the way. Slowly I turn in a circle, blinkin the rain away from my eyes.
Ohmigawd, I says. Ohmigawd ohmigawd ohmigawd.
The river’s alive with dead men’s bones. It’s thick with ’em.
My breath’s comin shallow an fast.
I feel somethin touch me. I make myself look down. A skellenton’s wrapped itself around my chest. The skull grins up at me.
I shove it away. But when I pull my hands up agin, the whole top half of the skellenton comes with ’em. I’m stuck in the ribcage. The skull’s right in my face.
I scream. Shake myself loose. Scramble to git away. Lose my footin.
I fall. I go unner.
An the current sweeps me away.
I fight my way to the surface. Spit out a mouthful of filthy river.
Help! I yell. Help!
I doubt if any of ’em can hear me over the poundin of the rain an the rush of the river. An I must be well outta earshot by now. I’m a ways downstream from where I fell, that’s all I know. An I got no idea where this river goes.
