by Kata Čuić
“He ain’t gonna be able to take it no more once ya start respondin’ to him. He’s gonna wanna have ya.” He pulls back with his hands on my shoulders and looks me dead in the eyes. “Ya make sure he’s got a condom with him, ya hear? I know ya don’t wanna wind up pregnant too soon like your ma. So, if he ain’t got a condom on him, ya have every right to say no. Ya understand?”
“I do?”
He blinks at me a few times. “Ya do what?”
“I can say no?”
“Darlin’…” His brows pull low, and he looks right sad as he caresses my cheek. “Ya can always say no. Ain’t no one ever taught ya that?”
“Well…no. Ain’t no one ever taught me nothin’.”
His hands frame my face, and he kisses me deeply before whispering against my lips. “Then I promise I’ll always teach ya everythin’ I know soon as I learn it. That’s part of bein’ friends, right?”
I don’t wanna learn everything he finds out when he starts mating with other women. Somehow that don’t sit right with me. It makes my stomach feel right heavy and sick.
“You’re tensin’ up.” He massages my shoulders and sighs. “I reckon that’s why it hurt ya so much the last time. Ya gotta relax and trust your man to do right by ya. All right?”
I take a deep breath and try to do as he asks. He’s so smart, and I do trust him. “All right.”
He rubs his thumb along my lower lip. “I’m gonna prove to ya it don’t hurt after that first time now. Just like he’ll wanna do. I know you’re scared this time, so ya wanna play pretend again?”
I don’t wanna seem like a foolish girl no more, so I bite my lip instead of answering.
“Yeah.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Thought so.”
His big hand cups the back of my head, and he lowers my whole body to lie down across the seat. With one hand, he pulls his shirt off from behind his head then lifts up to reach into his back pocket for the little condom packet.
“Hold this for me, darlin’.”
He hands me the square, which I take and hold as he instructed. I watch as he unbuttons and unzips his jeans, pulling both them and his underwear down in one fell swoop. The moment his manhood springs free, I can’t take my eyes off it. It’s long, hard, and pulsing, bobbing around with every move he makes. If I don’t think none about the way it’s gonna hurt me, it’s actually kind of funny. I have to bite my lip again to stifle my laughter.
Jesse turns to me and pulls down my pants, too. “What’s so funny?”
How did he know I was about to spill my guts holding in my giggling? “Nothin’.”
After he’s done working my pants and underwear off, he grabs the condom from me and tears it open. It’s fascinating the way he rolls the little circle over his hardness until it covers him clean up. I didn’t see this part the last time. The way he does it just makes me more secure he knows exactly what he’s doing, and I’m in good hands with my teacher.
He climbs overtop of me and braces his elbows on either side of my head. “I reckon ya laughin’ is better than ya bein’ afraid. Now what’s so dang funny, girl?”
I try to hold it in. Really, I do. The longer he stares down at me, the more the words fight to get out.
“Your manhood looks right funny wigglin’ all over the place when ya move.” I cover my mouth with my hands soon as the words are out. I can’t hold back my giggles no more, but at least I ain’t laughing in his face.
Jesse drops his forehead to mine. The rumbling of his laughter pours over me. “Please, please, for the love of God, do not say that to Kenny.”
I pull my hands away and gasp. “Was that wrong?”
He laughs again before covering my mouth with his own. “On second thought, go on and speak your mind. If he don’t like it, that’s his problem.”
“I don’t wanna say the wrong things,” I mumble against Jesse’s mouth. “Should I just be quiet?”
He lifts himself up and stares down at me, his expression sober. “No, darlin’. Ya don’t have to be quiet. Ya ain’t gonna be in the treehouse. A man likes to hear his woman enjoyin’ her fuckin’. He wants to know ya like it, too.”
Every muscle in my body squeezes at the same time. “What about if I don’t like it again? Then should I be quiet?”
Instead of answering my question, he covers my body with his again. His mouth finds mine. “Pretend I’m your man, my sweet Nora. And you’re my woman. I’m gonna make sure ya have a good time ‘cause it’s my job to take care of ya and always make ya happy and pleased.”
He kisses me until my lungs are screaming for air, then he moves across my cheek, down my jaw, and over my neck right where I like it. His body lifts off mine just enough for him to knead my breast again and just like before, that warm, tingly feeling fires in my lady parts. I arch my back up off the seat beneath me to get closer to him. My eyes slide closed at the pleasurable feeling of it all.
“We ain’t in an old, rusty truck. Pretend we’re in the fanciest car ya ever seen.” His hips grind down into mine. “The engine’s still runnin’, so you’re nice and warm.” His manhood slides in the spot between my legs that throbs and pulses just like his hardness when I wanted to laugh.
I ain’t laughing now.
“Your belly’s full ‘cause we went out to dinner and ate the best foods ya could ever taste.” One of his legs slips between my knees. He kisses me again. “Spread your legs open for me, darlin’. ‘Cause ya want to. Ya wanna give me all your sweetness and light ‘cause you’re my woman.”
I do as he asks and open wide as I can for him with the seat holding my one leg up.
“That’s all right. That’s good,” he whispers against my lips as he settles himself in my open space. “And ya feel special and wanted ‘cause I paraded the most beautiful girl I ever done seen all over town on my arm with pride.”
He slides his manhood along my folds and kisses me again. “We went and saw that sappy, girly movie ya been wantin’ to see. I took ya just ‘cause I knew it would make ya happy.”
He glides against me again and pushes at my opening. My eyes fly open as my body prepares for the pain.
“Ssh, my darlin’. Relax. Close your eyes again and just listen. Pretend.”
My breath’s coming fast, but I close my eyes and focus on his words instead of the fear.
“You’re safe, and ya know it ‘cause ya know I’d never do anythin’ but always try and make ya happy. I’m your man, and you’re my woman, and I’ll do whatever it takes.”
He slides into me in one hard push. My head falls back as my mouth rips away from his.
Jesse’s panting real hard, his breath rushing out across my neck. His body trembles all along mine. “Ya all right? Did that hurt ya this time?”
“Not as much,” I say as awareness washes over me. It was sudden, and I feel too full, but it wasn’t like being torn open the way the last time was.
“Once he gets inside ya, he ain’t gonna be able to hold back no more,” Jesse chokes out. “You’re too hot and tight, and ya feel so damn good. I gotta move, Nora. I gotta fuck ya now.”
“I’m all right,” I whisper, amazed. “Go ahead.”
“I’ll keep tryin’ to teach ya.” He kisses my throat as he starts pumping his hips against me. “Wrap your arms around me. Hold onto me like I’m yours.”
I do as he says, absorbing the blows of his motion in and out of me. It don’t feel nothing like last time. That throbbing that I felt at my womanhood before is replaced by the feel of him inside me, constantly moving. I take a sharp breath in when he pushes all the way inside, and the sensation curls my toes.
“Ya don’t have to be quiet. I wanna hear ya. Be as loud as ya want now.”
That freedom releases the first moan from my throat. With every pump of him deep inside me another escapes like he really is a wizard, making me feel things I never knew possible before.
“Oh, hell yes. That’s it. Lemme know how much ya want it. Lemme hear the way ya feel when I’m fuck
in’ ya.”
“Jesse,” I groan. My voice stutters as he pounds into me faster and harder.
“Say it again,” he commands.
“Jesse.”
“I’m gonna come so hard,” he grunts. “I’m gonna fuck ya ‘til I blow. Tell me ya want it. Tell me ya want me to come for ya.”
“Come for me, Jess,” I whisper.
Then he does just that. His whole body goes still as he pushes in far as he can, and his muscles dance under my hands while he lets out a long, low moan.
He collapses on top of me, burying his face into my neck. “Nora…”
His chest moves against mine fast in time with his breathing, and he does just like the last time. He burrows his hands under my back to hold me tighter against him. “Ya all right, darlin’?”
“I reckon so,” I admit, breathless. I should have known Jesse’d be right about this. It seems silly now to have been so scared and not believe him.
“Did ya come, too, sweet girl?” He kisses my neck.
“I dunno. What’s that feel like? It didn’t hurt, and it felt good sometimes. Is that it?”
He lifts his head to look down on me. “No. When ya come, you’ll know it. It’s the best thing ya ever felt.”
“Do women come? Am I supposed to shoot out that white stuff like ya?”
As soon as the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back. The only reason I know that is from spying on him, and now he’s gonna know.
If he figures out my secret, he don’t let it show. He just kisses my forehead and gives me that small smile. “Naw, darlin’. I’m the one with the seed. Ya can still feel it though.”
His eyes turn sad before he lays his head back down on my shoulder. “Might be third time’s a charm. Kenny’ll make ya feel real good, I reckon.”
He shifts his body off mine, so that we’re lying side by side, squeezed together on the bench. He’s rolled up onto his side with his back pressed against the seat with me on my back and his arm under my neck like a pillow. His rough fingers trail an imaginary path up and down my chest and belly.
“I reckon I done lied to ya before.”
My breathing picks up, and my eyes prick with tears, imagining what he might say.
“I told ya once I’d keep your light burnin’ bright ‘til the sun came to renew it, but lookin’ at ya now…Well, I reckon you’re the moon, and your fire don’t need no protectin’ in the dark.”
A fluttering sensation takes over my chest with his honeyed words. “Did ya read that somewhere, too?”
“Naw, my sweet Nora.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “I’m only tellin’ ya the truth.”
Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures
Giggling isn’t an expected sound from behind the closed door of the principal’s office.
“Did ya need somethin’, Miss Wheeler?” Jesse’s secretary eyes me suspiciously. At least she doesn’t glare at me the way she does at his office.
“Just dropping off new lesson plans for Mr. Yates’s approval.”
She reaches across her desk for the file I’m holding in mid-air. “I’ll make sure he gets ‘em.”
I pull the folder to my chest the way I do with Anne when I’m apologizing for making a mistake. With care, reverence, and love. I’m only human after all, and neither kids nor reinventing the curriculum of hillbilly school districts come with explicit instruction manuals. “If he’s busy, I’ll just put them in his mailbox.”
By the glint in her eyes behind her glasses, I figure I’m about to get a dressing down on the pecking order. Luckily for me, Jesse’s door flies open.
Maybe not so lucky.
Bobbi Sue steps out of the doorway, dressed to kill in a royal blue wrap dress that accentuates her every curve while downplaying the fact it’s faded and frayed at the edges, a wide smile spread across her brightly painted lips that draws attention away from the bags under her eyes. “It’s my absolute pleasure, Principal Yates.”
I go from being enemy number one to comrade in arms when the secretary fixes me with a look that just begs to discuss this latest town gossip.
Jesse appears behind her, straightening his tie. The first person he notices is his secretary. “Bonnie, what are ya still doin’ here? It’s after five! Go home and fix Ed his supper.”
Her lips purse into a thin line. “If you’re havin’ a meetin’ in your office, then it’s my job to be here in case ya need anythin’, youngin’.”
“Mrs. Parsons.” Bobbi Sue is all sunshine and smiles as she folds the elderly woman’s hands into her own. “It’s a right fine pleasure to see ya, as always. I done reckon we’ll be seein’ a lot more of each other from now on. Ya give my respects to Mr. Parsons, won’t ya? And don’t be strangers neither! I’ll fix him one of my famous apple pies anytime he gets a hankerin’!”
Mrs. Parsons pats Bobbi Sue’s cheek. “Well, ain’t you just as sweet as one of your pies. I reckon we’ll stop in sometime this week.”
She collects her things like a good little employee and heads home as directed.
Bobbi Sue winks at Jesse before fluttering her fingers in his direction. “See, now? It ain’t so hard. Just mind the peckin’ order, mind your mountain manners, and let change take its own due time. Ya can’t rush the rivers no more than ya can rush folks around here. It’ll all work out, handsome. In time,” she emphasizes.
She startles when she notices me standing here like a statue. “Why, Lenore! I done forgot ya work here, too. Ya know, my youngest is about the same age as your daughter. If ya wanna schedule a playdate, lemme know. Jesse has my number.”
Shockingly, she kisses me on the cheek before departing.
I sputter on her overly powerful cheap perfume well after the sound of her high heels clacking on the linoleum floor in the hallway fades.
“Girl,” Jesse chuckles. “You’re positively green.”
“My eyes are green,” I grit out, ignoring his implication. “And your cheek is red.”
“My eyes are also green, and your cheek is also red.” He laughs as he rubs at the lip-shaped spot on his face. “What are ya still doin’ here? Ya should be home with Anne.”
“You forced me to take all of last week off.” I slap the file down on the secretary’s desk. “I was catching up on work. Mama and Anne know I’ll be home late.”
I spin on the ball of my foot to leave, but he grabs me by the elbow, holding me in place.
“If ya made plans to be home late, then come on in and tell me all about what’s in the file. Ya don’t have anythin’ overdue as I reckon.”
Sighing because I actually do need to explain these new lesson plans, I follow Jesse into his small office.
The space is as cramped as it ever was with file cabinets taking up an entire wall. His desk is cluttered with paperwork and a desktop computer that’s probably as old as the secretary. A single window framed by yellowed-with-time curtains shines sunlight on his degrees and certifications which are displayed on the wall as proof he has every right to fill these shoes.
He settles into his chair and places the file in front of him, opening it to read. Quick as a dash, he uses his other hand to lay a frame that’s gracing his desk face-down.
Like he waved a red flag in front of my eyes, I snatch it up, forgetting my place as employee.
I stare down at a boy and girl, smiles wide with pride and eyes shining with hope. The caps and gowns swallow up their scrawny frames, and he’s holding his diploma at an odd angle.
He clears his throat. “I figure that’s the goal for all our students, and it serves as a good reminder that if even I can graduate high school, then so can they.”
“You were always the smartest kid in class,” I mumble.
“But I had help.” He pulls the frame away from me and replaces it in the same spot on his desk near his computer monitor. “I had a goal I was workin’ towards. That’s what I wanna give these kids.” He chuckles. “Maybe not the exact same goal.”
“And what goal
is that?” I sigh and collapse into the chair usually reserved for students who are in trouble. My tongue burns like it’s about to get me in some hot water. “Landing your own date for the Homecoming dance? She’s got three kids at home who apparently need a daddy, too. That seems to be your specialty even if it’s not framed on your wall. Just because you mistakenly think she doesn’t really want you doesn’t mean you don’t want her.”
I should regret my words, but I just can’t bring myself to feel even a little sorry. If he wanted to move on with his life with anyone but Bobbi Sue Gentry Eakins, then I could swallow this pill. As it is, the overwhelming scent of her perfume in this tiny office chokes me.
I lift my chin and narrow my eyes, waiting for him to read me the riot act over concerning myself with business that isn’t mine.
His chair groans as he leans back in it, folding his hands over his lean stomach. His starched white dress shirt looks mussed, and his tie still isn’t as straight as it was this morning. He inhales a deep breath before letting it go in a soft rush. “I see you’ve made some changes to your lesson plans for the semester. Wanna explain that to me?”
With a heavy sigh of disappointment over being denied the fight I’m gunning for, I slip into professional mode and explain how my students aren’t completing their assignments at home, which makes the previous lesson plans ineffective.
“I noticed that when I took over your classes for the week,” Jesse murmurs, poring over my adaptive plans. “We couldn’t discuss what they hadn’t read.”
“The new lesson plans account for that. We won’t make it through as much material doing it this way, but I can’t count on incentives like the Homecoming dance to raise their grades when not all the kids are interested in attending. I’m not even sure I can pull it off,” I grumble, my mood sinking further. “After a week off, I’m behind on those plans, too.”
Jesse looks up from the file with a wry grin. “I have some good news on that front. Bobbi Sue’s volunteerin’ to take the reins on plannin’ the festivities.”
“You’re really going to look me in the eyes and tell me that’s the only reason she spent the afternoon in your office? I might be a single, unwed mother from the mountains with a measly bachelor’s degree, but I’m not stupid. You tell me to act more like the folk around here to be an effective means of change, but I’m not the one wearing a tailored suit that would make even the most chaste Christian woman eager to sin in this office.” I glance down at my plain black leggings and chunky yellow cable-knit sweater with the fuzzy, worn knit that I picked up for a dollar at the Goodwill in Chicago that Anne and I used to frequent. It’s bulky enough to hide the pooch in my tummy that never went away after she was born. Modern enough to look professional in the classroom, but not provocative enough to draw the wrong kind of attention either. I haven’t worn a dress and heels since the day he showed up as my new boss.
