She jumped on this eagerly, nodding, and shortly, they were situated at a little outdoor café style place. Everything on the menu was recognizable and she relaxed when she saw some of her favorite comfort foods. "I'm sorry, I know part of the reason to travel is to try new things, but I just get a little overwhelmed," she explained as their drinks arrived.
"There's nothing wrong with that, Kitty. I'd say it's probably normal for most people, especially when they're new to traveling," he said. He leaned back in his seat, watching her with a speculative glance. "You really haven't traveled much, have you?" he asked.
"No, I really just…I guess I'm more of a homebody," she admitted. A slight flush heated her cheeks. "Not like you. It seems like you've been everywhere," she said. There was an obvious hint of envy there, not because he'd traveled but because it seemed so easy for him.
"Almost," he agreed, laughing as his hand went up to ruffle his short hair. His eyes sparkled, the deep brown lightened by the sun until it appeared almost a caramel color. "I didn't really have a choice, though, and I'd like to settle down and travel less, eventually. Maybe just the occasional vacation trip with someone fun," he said.
"Someone fun?" There was a flash of jealousy and then she felt stupid. "Oh, you mean me!" she blurted and then laughed at herself when he nodded. She wanted to ask if he really thought she was fun; she wasn't used to thinking of herself as entertaining outside of the bedroom and generally thought she was pretty boring, but asking would sound too self-conscious so, instead, she asked, "So do you travel for work, then?"
He hesitated and then shrugged. "It's complicated. It's not really work, but it's something I can't avoid, at least, not now."
She blew out an exasperated breath—yet another mystery! She was about to say something when their food arrived, and by the time they'd eaten, the topic had changed and she wasn't thinking about it anymore. She did remember later, when they were back onboard, but the mood had shifted and it didn't seem like the time to bring it up, so she added it to the long list of odd things he'd said or done.
What struck her as funny was that none of these evasions made her trust him less. The fact that she knew very little about him hadn't pushed her away, in fact…the way he refused to lie and just flat out said he wasn't going to tell her right now had caused her respect for him to rise. Another man—and of course, in her head, she immediately pictured Christopher—would have lied just to move the topic along.
It was oddly honorable of Jack to confront it with a firm declaration; his refusal to sleep with her came from that same place, she thought. Her experiences with other men had been different, but they hadn't turned out so well, so maybe this was better. Though she really wished he'd bend on both issues, she had to admit, part of her was glad he was sticking to his word.
"We have plenty of time before dinner, what would you like to do?" he asked as they strolled the deck looking for a pair of empty seats.
"Dinner? We just had lunch! I feel like we've done nothing but eat since we got onboard," she said, laughing. The ship was pulling out of its berth, and as it moved into the open water, the wind picked up. It tossed her vibrant curls, tangling them over her face so she couldn't see. "Ack!" Her unruly hair and the wind conspired to fight her and she ended up spitting strands out of her mouth in exasperation.
"Here, let me help," he said, moving behind her. He tipped her head back and gathered the thick mass of hair in one hand. "Do you have a ribbon? Something to tie it with?" he asked. He separated the hair into three sections and began to braid it into a heavy rope that hung half way down her back. The hair was longer than he'd realized, once the curls were pulled tight.
"A ribbon? Who wears ribbons in their hair anymore." She giggled and dug around in her bag, pulling out an elastic and passing it to him over her shoulder.
"Mmm, I'm not really up on the current styles, I guess," he said as he snapped the hairband into place at the end of the tail. "This should keep it under control and out of your face," he said. He took her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him, a wide amused smile on his face. "Better?"
"I think so. This is why I always carry a tie with me. My hair is ridiculously difficult to manage some days," she sighed as her hand went up to smooth the sides, making sure nothing was sticking up. Without a mirror, she couldn't be sure but it felt like he'd done a decent job, and that surprised her. "I might sound sexist but, uh, not many guys know how to braid hair," she commented.
"I'm not most guys, or hadn't you noticed?" he asked, winking playfully.
"Oh, not another mystery!" she exclaimed. She was joking, but at the same time, she was about at her limit for his secretive ways.
He burst out laughing and shook his head. "No mystery; I had an older sister, and when I was little, she taught me how to braid. Not because of her hair—it's just a surprisingly useful skill on a farm, but once I learned how, I did occasionally braid her hair for her," he explained.
She tilted her head back, looking up at him with a slight smile. "You grew up on a farm, then?' she asked, pouncing on the information to add it to what she'd already gathered about him.
"I—hold on." He took her by the arm and escorted her to a table that had just opened up. He pulled out her chair for her and then took the other seat as he answered her question, "I wouldn't say I grew up there, but my family owned one and I visited a lot. I guess you could say the traveling started pretty young, but I spent as much time there as I could." There was that melancholy tone in his voice again, and she frowned.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to make you talk about sad things—"
"Don't be. The memories I have of my family and our home aren't sad, not exactly. I just wish there were more of them, but what I do have, I cherish. I'll tell you the whole story someday, I promise," he said earnestly, as he sat back in his seat and waved at a passing waiter to order drinks.
Once they were alone again, she gave him a speculative look. "Your childhood, the traveling, it's all connected, isn't it? That's why you can't tell me anything," she said softly. It was just a guess, but the way he straightened made her positive she was right.
"Yeah, it's all connected, darlin'. Just one big mystery, really, not a hundred small ones," he admitted.
She sighed; it was frustrating how much she didn't know about him. The realization that the cause of her frustration was that she was falling for him hit her hard. Knowing that it was a rebound romance made it all the more likely her heart was going to get broken again. Judging by the way she'd handled losing Christopher, she really didn't think she could deal with another loss so soon.
"Can you…can you tell me one thing?" she asked hesitantly. She did think, if he answered at all, that he'd be honest. She could trust the answer, if she got one.
One eyebrow went up, questioning. "What's that, Kitty?"
"Do you…damn it, I don't know how to ask. I-is this just a vacation fling or does it mean something to you?" she blurted. Her cheeks colored with an embarrassed flush and she couldn't quite meet his eyes.
"This is not a fling," he said firmly. "It means something to me; you mean something to me, and I can't—" He paused, sighing as he leaned forward and took her hands in his. "I can't explain it, but it feels like I've come a very long way to be here with you." The tone was intensely earnest and she believed he felt that way. Something inside of her uncurled and relaxed.
She wasn't sure if he couldn't explain because it was part of his big secret or if it just couldn't be put into words, and before she could ask, the waiter returned with their drinks and the moment passed.
She moved her chair next to his so they could sit together and watch as the sun sank into the horizon, sending out brilliant ripples of color across the ocean. She leaned against him, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "It's so beautiful. I've never seen a sunset like this," she said softly, taking in the vivid streaks of red and orange that trailed across the backdrop of deep periwinkle.
"No, there's something about t
he ocean that really brings out the colors," he agreed. "Or maybe just the uninterrupted skyline. You don't get the full effect when there are buildings and trees blocking it."
"True, the sunset over the mountains back home can be gorgeous, but it's nothing like this. I guess I didn't realize what I was missing." She sighed happily as he wrapped an arm around her. They sipped their cocktails and sat, mostly quiet, just enjoying each other's company. When the sun had vanished beneath the waves and the twilight had deepened until she could barely see the water, she yawned and then reluctantly stood to stretch out her back.
He stood up at the same time, and she stumbled. He reached to catch her and she ended up in his arms, pressed against his chest. Suddenly, their lips met and she was lost in a haze of passion that made the world around them disappear. She wasn't sure which of them had initiated the kiss, maybe they'd both been inspired at the same time, all she knew was the moment his mouth met hers, she was gone. Her body melted against his, legs so weak she clung to him.
His tongue pressed, hot and persistent, between her lips, exploring her mouth, and her whole body responded. Her hands clasped at the back of his neck as his arms wrapped around her and neither of them tried to stop the passion that had ignited. Her tongue tangled with his and low in her body there was a pulse of pleasure that was hard to ignore.
When they finally came up for air, she looked disheveled; her eyes had a dazed look to them, and she swayed a little. He kept his arms around her, holding her steady. "You all right there, Kitten?" he asked, grinning down at her.
"Kitten?" She sounded breathless and she wasn't really sure whether she was okay or not. She felt like she'd been put through a wringer and hung up to dry.
"It seemed a natural jump from Kitty, but I won't use it if you don't like it," he said. He moved one hand up to her face and stroked his thumb lightly across her cheek, giving her a loving look that made her heart thump faster.
"N-no, I do like it," she admitted. She turned her face to gently kiss his hand. "I like it a lot." No one had ever called her Kitten before; Christopher hated nicknames and wouldn't have used a pet name that sounded like a diminutive of her own. He'd mostly called her honey or babe, and hearing those now would probably make her sad again. Jack had a way of always skirting the things that would make her mood drop; he was like a magic man who always knew the right step to take.
It suddenly hit her that part of the reason she was falling so hard for him was that he actually cared what she liked and didn't like. Submissive or not, he took her opinions into account. She had no doubt that if he was entirely in charge of her, there'd be strict rules to follow. He'd already shown her that he couldn't be pushed too far before he pulled her up short.
But he also made her feel like what she wanted mattered, and she hadn't realized how much she needed that. Every time she compared the two men in her mind, Jack came out ahead, and as a result, her deep sadness and depression over the loss of Christopher were barely even present in her mind anymore. In just a few days, she was practically over him with just the occasional twinge to remind her.
"Good, because I think it suits you." He leaned down to brush his lips across hers, firm but without the intensity of the last kiss.
She let her arms drop, taking a step back, and turned to the rail, looking out over the water. Everything was shades of blue and black, except where the moon had lit a path across the waves. "Jack?" she asked, not looking at him.
"Hmm?" He moved to stand beside her, looking out curiously, wondering if she'd seen something in the dark.
"Can we…see if someone on the ship has some tools? I'd like to take the anklet off now," she said in a very soft voice that could barely be heard over the surf.
"I'm sure the concierge can find someone to help with that. If you're ready. I want you to move on, and I want it off of you, but I also think you need to be sure it's what you want," he said.
"I do. I'm ready. It's not…it's not just because I want more from you. I do, and believe me, my body has been pushing for other things from you, but it's more than that. I'm tired of holding onto someone that I'm realizing never really took the time to get to know my needs," she said earnestly. Her voice was still soft but there was a firmness to it that made it clear she was sure.
"You know—we were together for over a year, and I don't think I ever confided as much in him as I have with you in a few days." She shook her head and turned to look at him. "And I know for sure that he never bothered to find out my preferences. Everything was about him, as the dominant, and what he wanted. I guess I thought that's how it was supposed to be," she admitted.
Jack sighed; he'd been making an effort to listen to her vent her emotions, without insulting the man she'd described to him. Christopher, to him, didn't sound like much of a dominant, but he didn't think she was ready to hear that before. "It's not how it's supposed to be. You're not chattel, not a slave. Your submission is a gift that's supposed to be cherished," he said gently, putting one hand over hers on the railing.
"I liked it, though. I mean I liked thinking of myself as property. I wanted to feel like he had all the power because it felt—" She stopped.
"Felt what? More real? Less like a game between two consenting adults? Safer maybe, because, with him in charge, you could let go of the responsibility?" he guessed.
She nodded, slumping over the rail, chin cushioned on her arms as she stared down at a lifeboat hanging on the next level below. For a second, she pictured herself hopping in and escaping from all the decisions and it made her laugh. "Yeah, all of that. I guess I hadn't entirely fooled myself about him having all the power, though, or else I'd have given in and moved in with him."
"Maybe you held out because, underneath, you knew he wasn't the right one to trust with your submission, Katherine. It seems like you didn't get much back from him," Jack said. His hand came to rest on her back, a comforting presence.
"Oh, he gave me lots of stuff. Too much really. He was always surprising me with presents. At first, I used to turn them down; it was too much, but I don't know—after a while, it was easier just to accept them. It made him happy, and it wasn't like I had much money," she explained. Her stubborn pride had been pricked often by the excessive gifts he lavished on her, especially when he wanted her to do something and she was balking.
"Things. Gifts," he snorted like he thought those were negatives. "Presents are nice; everyone likes to get surprises, but they don't replace the important things that a dom is supposed to give a sub. Comfort, reassurance, a stable framework of rules so that she can feel safe, and steady discipline, are more important than jewelry and flowers," he said firmly.
She turned her head to look at him. "Is that what you'd give a submissive?" she asked tentatively.
He knew what she was really asking was—were those the things he'd give her if she was his? There was a hunger in her voice that said she wanted that, and he nodded. "Among other things, yes, but it's different for everyone. People aren't dolls; they have individual needs." He explained carefully, like he was talking to a beginner, and she realized that, even though she'd been Christopher's sub for over a year, he'd taught her almost nothing, except that he knew how to turn her on.
She thought about what he was saying, and she badly wanted to beg, "Please take me on as your sub and give me all of those things," but the reality of the situation was that they had three days left before she had to go back home to Colorado and figure out the mess that was her life, while he went…she wasn't actually even sure where he currently lived. Could a long distance thing work, she wondered?
She knew it did for some people, but her physical needs were too strong. She needed to be held, spanked, and fucked, and none of that was going to work from across the country. She'd ask where he lived, of course, but the chances of him being anywhere near her were pretty slim, and then she stopped as a thought occurred to her.
Was there anything really keeping her in Colorado? She didn't talk to her parents any more tha
n she could help. Her boyfriend…well, that was done, and with it, maybe her job, too. Oh, she didn't think Christopher would fire her, but she really wasn't sure she could keep working there with him. Not after everything they'd done in the office after hours.
Didn't that free her up to move someplace else, if she had a good enough reason? "Let's go see the concierge," she said as she pushed herself upright. She suddenly wanted the anklet off immediately.
She sounded sure this time, and he accepted her decision without further discussion. They went down to the main floor to the concierge desk to see what they could do about it. Explaining what they needed was simple enough, and the woman behind the desk nodded, as though she received a dozen requests for jewelry removal every day.
Julie, her name tag announced, smiled. "Sounds like you need a pair of needle nose pliers to separate the links of the chain," she said thoughtfully. "That shouldn't be a problem. I'll send someone to your room with them shortly; number please?" She made a note of Katherine's room number and promised to take care of it. Before they were more than a couple steps away, they could hear her calling to maintenance.
"Well, that was efficient," Katherine said, surprised at how simple it had been.
"Her job is to keep everyone happy. She knows how to solve every problem that might come up, and if she doesn't, she'll find out. There's actually a whole team, one of them should have been assigned to your room specifically, since you have a suite," he explained.
She tried to remember, there had been a list of names and numbers to call if she needed assistance, but there were so many and she hadn't given it a second glance, so she shrugged. "Not sure, maybe I should check."
He wrapped an arm loosely around her waist, guiding her to the elevator. "It's a good idea to know just in case you need something, but generally, whoever is on duty at the desk will help." It was just casual chatter as they made their way to her room, but it did keep her mind off the fact that the anklet she'd worn for so long was about to come off, and with it, her last tie to Christopher.
In Time for Love (Timeless Love Book 1) Page 12
