by Fitch, E. M.
“Twilight,”Jack whispered, his lips very nearly resting on her ear. Kaylee nodded her understanding. She forced her eyes to blink, surprised by how dry they felt, especially when tears continued to leak towards her chin. She pulled away from Jack, having to twist out of his arms to do so, and dragged her left hand over her face. She winced as pain shot up her arm. She had forgotten her wrist was broken.
The realization of that one burst of pain brought all the others into sharp relief. Her hip throbbed and pulsed, the bones popping and cracking when she shifted. Her shoulder was tender and most likely bruised. Actually, when she shifted her weight a bit, attempting to alleviate the pins and needles shooting up her leg, she discovered that her entire left side felt like one big bruise. If she had been coherent enough to thank God, she might have offered thanks for the instinct to protect her head. Her skull felt relatively free of injury. Though the desiccate ache of her eyes, the never-drying trail of tears on her cheeks, and the pulse of swollen sinuses served as a reminder that there were far worse things than some scrapes and scratches.
Emma.
“I think we should wait at least an hour after complete dark,”Jack whispered, stepping closer to her as he did. Kaylee felt her back pressed to the cold concrete wall and she shivered involuntarily.“This batch doesn’t act like the ones on the surface, they’re too hungry.”
Kaylee nodded again, completely sure Jack could feel her head bob against his chest, even if he couldn’t clearly see her.
“We can run for the fire station then,”he pressed and Kaylee had the odd notion that he seemed nervous.“I’ll get you home.”
Kaylee tilted her head back to look at Jack, her chin bumped his collarbone, and she felt the mask her face had composed itself into crack as her eyebrows drew together in confusion.
Why is he nervous? Once it’s dark, we’ll be safe. We could stroll home kicking cans and howling at the moon. The infected won’t wake.
Emma won’t wake…
“Is that, I mean, it’s okay with you?”he mumbled, leaning back to catch her eye. He seemed concerned and…wary.
Kaylee nodded again, trying to peer through the dark to see his expression. All that shone back at her were anxious eyes.
“I promise to get you home, Kay,”he murmured, pulling her back into his embrace. She went willingly. After all, she had been in his embrace this whole long day, let his arms hold her together as she grieved, cowered into him as the light had first started to shift and for one horrifying moment they thought it was coming towards them. Falling into his chest had felt like the most natural action in the world.
And it was comfortable too. Kaylee could recognize that even through the aching feet and protesting knees, through her bruises and cuts. His hold wasn’t just protective, like her father’s; or warm and friendly, like Andrew’s. (Though it most certainly was both of those.) His grip was very nearly possessive. Every line of his body pressed against hers and he shifted almost imperceptibly as she did. His lips brushed against her, passing her neck and hair to whisper in her ear. His fingers pressed just so…
Kaylee shivered again, not even having the excuse of being backed into a concrete wall to blame it on. Jack’s hands rubbed down her back in response and Kaylee nuzzled further into him. The action brought back a clear memory, though nothing had been clear at the time. The night Kaylee first met Jack he had known she’d hit her head because she had cuddled into him. Funny, the action didn’t seem so strange now.
“Kaylee?”Jack whispered, his breath a warm rush of air against her neck.“Say something. Please.”His voice sounded strangled towards the end and Kaylee blinked through the seemingly endless stream of tears. He seemed nervous again, unsure and scared, and Kaylee was confused as to what could make him feel that way. The last rays of twilight were dimming. The sky visible from the hole in the floor was a deep purple, the color of a fresh bruise. The bodies that were strewn around them were barely twitching, no infected had even tried for a bite in over half an hour.
“Are you okay?”Kaylee croaked, leaning back from him once more to gaze up, even though the attempt was futile in this light. Her voice was broken and cracked, sounding as though her throat was lined in sandpaper. But she forced the words out, worried over Jack.
When was it I last spoke?she thought remotely, realizing she couldn’t remember.
Jack laughed and Kaylee started at the sound.
“Am I okay?”he asked, chortling and then pulling her flush against him. He chuckled into her hair before he placed a light kiss. And it hit her then. He was worried over her, worried that she had lost her mind, gone crazy and despondent, catatonic in her grief.
Well, I had, hadn’t I? Just for a bit.
“You were worried about me,”she said, voicing it as the fact that it was and not a question.
“You weren’t speaking,”he whispered, all traces of amusement gone.“And your face was…”He trailed off though Kaylee could hear the disquiet that laced his tone.
“I’m sorry,”she whispered, her lips ghosting over his shirt.“Emma.”
She got the last word out, but only barely. A fresh sob caught in her throat and she bit her tongue to hold it there, sick of crying. Her arms were twitching and she felt her breathing speed up. Anger was fueling her now and she had never, not once, not even when her mother stood there watching Kaylee abandon her, wanted to kill the infected as she did now. Frantic ideas flew through her mind, images of her fingers encasing the handle of a gun, or her arms swinging an ax high before bringing it down time and time again. It was their fault her sister was gone, their fault she was bitten. But then a singularly awful thought flashed through her mind: her finger squeezing the trigger of a shotgun pointed at Emma, watching her blood spill to the pavement and her eyes roll back, turning to find her mother and father watching her in horror. Kaylee shuddered and leant heavily into Jack.
“I hate them,”she cried into his damp, cotton shirt.
“I know,”he answered and Kaylee didn’t like the level of understanding and malice that infused his words. She knew if she could see him now she would see hardened features and a faraway look. She knew he’d be remembering his own witnessed massacres, remembering the day he got the news that his family was gone, remembering watching his friends and classmates with gnashing teeth as he made his escape from school. He hated them on a level far more intense than she did. He wanted them to die, every last one of them, Emma and her mother included.
“But it’s not their fault,”she whispered, feeling him stiffened under her as she did. She heard him release a huff of frustration. It seemed he had no other response.
The sky was nearly blackened now. Pinpoints of light brightened to contrast their inky surroundings and a pale moon replaced the set sun. The basement was getting colder by the minute and the thin material of Kaylee’s shirt did nothing to keep in any warmth. She realized belatedly that her body was shivering when Jack wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to him and enclosing her in the folds of his opened sweatshirt once again.
It was very warm against his chest. His scent was now familiar and reassuring, the smell of pines almost erased by his stint in the city, but the musky, woodsy undertones remained. His deep even breaths and reassuring heartbeats lulled her senses. As sore as she was, she almost drifted into sleep.
“It’s time,”he whispered. She pulled herself away from him, folding her left arm across her stomach as she did, attempting to keep in his warmth. He moved silently across the floor, linking fingers with her and pulling her with him. The blackness pressed them from every angle. Only the faint stars that shone above betrayed the broken floorboards they had first fallen through. Kaylee supposed, as she toed through the bodies and slipped over slick trails of blood, that there must be a door to this basement somewhere. But with the limited light and chaos of their first moments in the darkened room, neither she nor Jack had seen it. Now all she wanted was to get out, to see her father and Andrew again, to know what happened t
o her sister.
Had they chucked her out, once they realize the truth of her statement? Had they killed her? Was that one loud, shocking boom that sounded first really a shot into her sister, the end of her short life? Or was it from the rooftop, aimed at clearing their path?
There were so many questions that Kaylee wanted answers to, even though she wasn’t sure she could live with them once she found out.
Could I look at Mr. McCormick again, if it were he that pulled the trigger? Could I trust Dad or Andrew if they hurled Emma out to face her end in the streets?
“How do we get out?”Kaylee asked, intent on breaking through her poisonous thoughts as she gazed through the opening. Even standing on her toes she wouldn’t have been able to reach the top edge. Jack was silent as he walked the perimeter of the small circle, the moonlight glancing off his inky hair, making the tips gleam.
“I could boost you out.”
“That’s stupid,”Kaylee said.“I couldn’t pull you out.”
“You could run for help and come back.”
“No!”she all but shouted.“I won’t leave you.”She spoke through grit teeth though instead of the growl of protest she had intended, her statement sounded more like a whine, a low plead.
“Kaylee,”Jack started, his voice placating, but she interrupted.
“I’ll boost you up, you can pull me up after.”The silence that followed was loaded with disapproval, but Kaylee was determined. She would not be losing anybody else today, not even for a moment.“C’mon,”she prompted, slapping her knee lightly as she knelt down.
“But your hand—”he mumbled, his eyes shining down at her.
“Will be fine,”Kaylee interrupted, the throb that pulsed through it making her words a lie.“You’ll help me,”she amended.
“I don’t like it,”he grumbled but his placed his foot gingerly on her thigh. Kaylee wrapped her good arm around his leg to prop him.“Ready?”
“Go for it,”she huffed, bracing herself as he pushed his weight unto her right leg.
“I can’t reach,”he hissed, and she heard his fingertips scramble for a hold before he landed next to her.
“My shoulder,”she gasped, feeling the sting of pain his weight had shot through her left side.
“Kay, I—”
“C’mon,”she growled, tugging at his shirt.“Get me out of here.”
It might have been her last demand and how she was asking him to take care of her, but he complied almost immediately. She grunted as he flung himself up once more, gritting her teeth when his boot found her collarbone, but she felt his weight shift as he caught hold of a loose crossbeam and hoisted himself through. She thrust him up with her good hand, giving him whatever momentum she could supply. His feet dangled in her face for just a moment, swinging so close she was almost kicked, before he disappeared from view entirely. There was a creak of loose floorboards, the beams groaning under the weight that was now walking across them. Then with a scuffling across the dusty boards, the silhouette of Jack’s head appeared. Kaylee imagined him grinning down at her.
“Ready?”he asked, a definable pleasure in his voice at being free of the basement. Kaylee stood shakily and extended her right hand in answer as he leaned lower to grasp her. Her feet left the floor and she was suspended in air that felt like pitch before her wrist scraped against the floor above. Kaylee scrambled to get her left elbow unto the floor. Jack grabbed her hurt arm, letting her right hand grip the floorboards, and he hauled her out.
She fell unto him, his arms encasing her, and he collapsed back unto the dirty floor. His breath came in heavy pants for a moment and she rose and fell with his chest as he breathed. She went to move off him, to let him draw breath with ease, but he tightened his hold, pressing her to him. She let her head settle into the crook of his neck and her eyes drift close.
This embrace felt different. His arms relaxed and his hands ghosted up her sides. One settled low on her back and the other cupped her neck, still holding her to him. His breathing softened and Kaylee thought she heard the sound of her name whisper past his lips.
“Thank you,”she said softly, her lips moving over the skin of his neck.“You came after me. I don’t know what I would have... Thank you.”
He squeezed her lightly.“I’ll always come after you, you idiot,”he said. His tone was light and teasing but his pledge seemed sincere. A shiver of irritation rolled up her spine.
“Don’t promise me things,”Kaylee replied, rolling away from him despite his grip and sitting up. She winced as her left hip throbbed against the sudden motion. But she didn’t want to hear promises only to have to remember them later when they were broken.
“I—”
“Seriously Jack,”Kaylee interrupted, glancing at him quickly before turning to get to her feet; his frown was dimly lit by the rising moon.“You’re leaving soon with Quinton, I know that. Don’t promise me anything when you can’t possibly follow through.”
Kaylee went to wipe her jeans clean but winced as her left hand pulsed a reminder to her. She left the grime alone, figuring there was no amount of brushing that might get it off. Instead she brought her good hand to her face and was surprised to find her tears had dried.
When had that happened?
“We should get back,”came Jack’s stoic reply. Kaylee thought he was going to say more but then they both froze, alert as the sound of their names were called from somewhere not too far away.
~
“Kay!”Andrew’s voice was hoarse as he called out. He broke into a run in her direction, reaching her in moments. She grimaced as he caught her up in a hug, her side pulsing uncomfortably, but she gripped him tightly, happy to have someone she knew she could hold onto.“Sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay,”she breathed and she heard him pull back a sob. He was shaking and he pulled her tighter against him. She couldn’t help the moan that snuck past her lips.
“I thought you said you were okay,”Andrew accused, leaning back and holding Kaylee just by the shoulders, his eyes raking over her frame.
“She’s alright,”Jack said, strolling up to them, his hand raised in acknowledgement to Quinton who was still making his way towards the group.
“She can answer for herself!”Andrew shouted, tucking Kaylee back under his arm. The level of stress lent an edge to his voice that sounded very close to anger.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,”Kaylee said, extracting herself from Andrew’s now suffocating hold and grabbing his hand.“I’m sore and bruised and my hand’s broken but it’s not important. Andrew, what happened? Where’s…”She couldn’t force her lips to frame that last word and the tears she thought she had stopped started again. The relief she felt upon seeing Andrew was ebbing and in its’place a crushing sense of what was to come, the knowledge, the confirmation that her sister was forever lost to her.
“She’s in the firehouse. In Anna’s room.”His voice was soft and hesitant; he swallowed thickly.
“You should let her see for herself.”Quinton’s voice was a deep, soothing rumble that lacked intonation. Without another word, Andrew turned, pulling Kaylee along. She limped beside him, terrified.
It was all too much. The run from the firehouse had seemed so short this afternoon, when she had been pulled from the infected by Jack. His hand had been her lifeline, his arms her comfort. And now Andrew was tugging her along and the distance felt like miles. Her lungs just refused to fill with air and her steps felt boggy and slow.
And somehow, it was not slow enough. Some recess of her mind wanted her to stall, to limp a little bit more, to pause just a tad longer between steps.
Because her world would change when she saw what her sister had become.
The night was very clear, the silence absolute. Every footstep echoed clearly against the cold pavement, each breath that was drawn whispered undeniably through the air. The blood pound in Kaylee’s temples and her throat hurt. She dragged her sleeve over her eyes to clear them of tears and was shocked
to find she had stopped crying again without knowing it.
Andrew was walking slightly ahead of her, pulling her along gently, and Jack came to walk beside her. His fingers brushed tentatively against her broken ones and Kaylee felt a sting of regret that she couldn’t grip his hand like she had done so often for the past several hours. Her gaze flit to him and he was watching her. His expression didn’t change. He wasn’t placating or pitying; there was no showy sense of understanding.
