by Fitch, E. M.
Black covered the doors and windows. Fumes saturated the air. The paint ran down, small rivulets that oozed over the dirty glass.
CRACK!
A hand slapped the glass, dirt encrusted and graying. Broken fingernails scratched against the polished surface. Kaylee could hear the growls and moans of it’s owner from behind the barrier, sounding so, so close. Kaylee felt her chest seize as she stepped back from the glass.
It wasn’t working.
“You missed a spot.”
Kaylee shrieked at the soft voice that sounded to her left. Jack raised his canister to the faint outline of a handprint and covered what she had left undone. And as the last of the light from outside was extinguished, the cadence of the moaning shifted. Nails still scratched and there was the distinct sound of shuffling, scrambling, just outside the door. But nothing was beating at the glass now.
“Kaylee,”his breath landed on her neck, brushing it lightly. She wanted to turn into him, bury her face in his chest, find comfort in the pine and rain and honey that was Jack, her Jack. But a single red dot prevented her. It had looked so out of place. Everything her mother had become after she had been bitten had been so horrible, but it was that little red dot, the hole from the bullet Jack shot into her brain, that kept flashing through Kaylee's thoughts. Just that bullet hole, a small, seemingly insignificant little dot, placed there by Jack's gun after he pulled the trigger.
“I, I don’t know what to say,”he whispered. And Kaylee believed him. His voice cracked as he finished and he sounded desperate.
Neither did Kaylee. So she didn’t say anything. She pulled a length of chain from over her shoulder where she had hung it as she ran and strung it through the door handles. Jack moved forward to padlock it for her.
“I’m so sorry, Kaylee, I didn’t—”
“You need to get some sleep,”she interrupted, happy she couldn’t actually see him in the gloom of whatever department store it was that she had run into. She realized now that she wasn't even sure which it was. Macy’s, maybe.
“I need to talk to you,”he countered, reaching for her. She backed away.
“Later,”she said, turning from him. He hadn’t slept yet, not since it had happened. It had been over twenty-four hours now. She knew Andrew had offered to take over for him, to let him get some rest. But he had refused. He shouldn’t have, he sounded awful.
And she felt awful. She wouldn’t have been fair to him. Not now. She needed space, needed time to think. Alone. Her thumb found the grooves of the St. Jude medal and rubbed along it comfortingly. It hadn't left her pocket since she had ripped it from her dead mother's neck.
“When?”he asked. Kaylee never answered. She walked away, back to Emma and Andrew and her father, back to comfort. His last plea for her to stop was drowned out by the echo of a trio of gunshots that rang through the hall.
~
There had been a fountain, right there in the center of the main courtyard. Kaylee could make out the shape of a dirt-covered penny. She sat on the edge now, catching her breath in the glow of the sky lights high in the ceiling. The gun shots had come from Bill, Andrew, and Anna. They had each stumbled on security guards, infected and rotting and hungry. They must have locked themselves in ages ago and succumb to the infection after the doors had been closed. No one else saw any other sign of life.
“Okay,”Quinton started, rousing the group’s attention. He sounded tired and, Kaylee thought it for the very first time, he sounded old.“The doors are secure?”
There was a round of response to affirm it. Kaylee nodded along with the rest. Her door was chained and the security gate pulled down and latched.
“Good, we can rest up for a few days, exchange our clothes and stock anything else we might need.”
Kaylee whipped her head around at the sound of breaking glass, panic seizing in her chest momentarily. Andrew shook the glass off his elbow as he ripped a store map from it’s covering and dragged the large piece of plastic out to a patch of light.“There’s a uniform supply store,”Andrew muttered, staring down at the fading map and ignoring Emma’s annoyed glare. She always hated being startled.“And a pharmacy.”
“That’ll help,”Anna said with a sidelong glance at Nick. He was perched, Kaylee thought uncomfortably, on the lip of a large potted plant. The plant was a fake. The dust that had settled on the once shiny leaves had left them a chalky gray.
“If you're up for it, scout around,”Quinton continued.“Once I get some sleep, I'll try to see about the generators, they might still be operational.”
“Mattress store, second level,”Andrew called out, rechecking the map and then pointing northwest. Quinton nodded his thanks. Jack, hands shoved in his pockets and head down, followed silently.
Twenty minutes later found Kaylee trailing her sister through what felt like acres of useless junk. The beams of light from their flashlights passed over televisions, stereos, four different kinds of machines to watch movies with, endless rows and rows of ballroom and prom gowns and stacks of shoes no one would ever wear. Purses of every shape and color and size, sitting empty except for the paper used to stuff them.
“I don’t know if we’re supposed to be in here,”Kaylee muttered. She hadn’t slept yet either. Couldn’t make herself sleep. It was that horrible dot. Every time she closed her eyes, it hummed on the edge of her mind, growing ever closer, until all she saw was red, red everywhere.
“We'll lock the chain again when we leave. You said the outer door was secure,”Emma said, dismissing her sister’s concern.
“It is. But we locked the security gate for a reason.”
“Relax,”Emma insisted.“We won’t be long.”
Kaylee shook her head but didn’t protest any further. It took too much energy.
“Can you imagine needing any of this now?”Emma asked, laughing as she picked up an ornate compact. She tossed it lightly in the air, catching it in the palm of her hand before chucking it down the center aisle. She threw it smoothly, as one would throw a skipping stone, and it clattered softly as it skidded down across the dark, empty tile.
“You would have gotten six skips out of that easily,”Kaylee said, idly watching the compact skitter into darkness.
“Eight,”Emma countered.
They keep walking a little further, pausing when glass crunched under their feet.
“Someone had the same idea as me,”Emma said, passing a beam of light from the flashlight she was carrying over the shattered glass cases.
“Diamonds?”Kaylee asked in surprise, using her own lantern to approach the glass. Among the glittering pieces of scattered glass, diamond rings sparkled. Whole sets of them. One engagement ring and two wedding bands per set, from the spacing Kaylee could tell several were missing.
“Diamonds? What? No,”Emma answered distractedly.“What good would those be unless I was cutting glass? I want a watch.”
“Yeah?”Kaylee asked, still staring at the empty spaces where engagement rings once sat. There was a description on a cardstock sign folded and still standing upright on the velvet display. The dust was so thick, she could no longer make out the words.
It was such a useless thing to take.
And yet, it was the promise of the item that meant something. More than that, it was the ability to make the promise, to use those rings in an act that would last a lifetime, an act that was no longer a part of her world. It just was her and Jack now, she supposed, they had made it clear. Not official, not with those words, but clear all the same.
The man I can’t even talk to.
Saint Jude bit into her finger as she thought on it. Soon, the grooves would be a permanent feature on her thumbprint.
“What do you think, Kay?”Emma called out to her.“Solar powered, right? That’d probably be best.”
“Hmm?”Kaylee asked in a hum, ripping her gaze from the black spot in a sea of glass shards to look at Emma.“Best what?”
“Never mind, here,”Emma answered, tossing Kaylee a black box th
e size of her fist. She fumbled the catch. A shiny, silver watch with a red face peeked out from under the lid once she had it firmly in her grasp.
“Not this one,”Kaylee mumbled, throwing it back at her sister.
Red. The dot grew and she saw it and it was swallowing her.
“Okay, picky,”Emma snorted.“Green suit you better?”
Kaylee nodded and caught the box she was thrown without fumbling this time. She blinked the red away, knowing she needed to get some sleep soon before she couldn’t just blink that damn dot out of existence.
"Hey, check it out!" Emma exclaimed gleefully. She reached past Kaylee to grab the receiver of the wall phone and smashed it through a glass case to her left. Kaylee winced as the sound echoed in the empty, black space surrounding them but Emma already had her arm through the shards, picking something out of the glass.
"A pocketknife? You already have one," Kaylee muttered.
"Not just a pocketknife," Emma corrected. "Look. It's utensils!"
She opened the knife, flipping out the tools, but instead of the generic blades and screwdrivers, it was a compact set of utensils: one tiny fork, a spoon, and a dull blade. Emma laughed.
"It's perfect for me." Emma grinned at her sister, but it wasn't pure joy, it was tinged with the fear and anxiety that Emma always carried with her, like a clenched hand around her neck. Emma was convinced she was infected. She had been bitten, it was true. But even though she had shown no signs of infection, none; it wasn't safe to test it out either. Her saliva could be infectious, her blood too. Emma may stay healthy, but she would never know for sure if she could kill others with a simple touch.
Kaylee tried to grin back, but she knew it came off more as a grimace. Emma didn't meet her eye, she pocketed her new find and turned her gaze to the rest of the watches.
“We’ll get a few watches for Andrew and Anna too," she said, her voice more subdued now. "I’ve seen Quinton wear one, and Dad and Bill. But maybe their batteries are running down. I know Dad’s isn’t solar. Does Jack have one?”
“I think so.”
“Not focused on his wrists when you’re with him?”Emma asked with a smirk.
“Don’t be crude,”Kaylee murmured out of habit, trying to get her new watch from its protective shell. Green. Green she could handle. She gestured for Emma to hand over the real pocketknife that she was using for the same purpose.
“You rode back with Andrew,”Emma said, eyes now locked with uncharacteristic shrewdness on her sister. Kaylee froze, suddenly glad for the low light. Emma shouldn’t be able to sense her lie. She was talking about the last night they had in their city, when the dogs had attacked and their apartment building was blown up and their mother was killed.
But, of course, Emma didn't know that last part.
No one did. No one except Kaylee and Jack.
“His bike was closer.” It wasn't much of a lie anyway. The bikes were close together, Andrew's could have been closer. Kaylee wasn't even sure which one was. Not that it was the real reason she had jumped on behind Andrew. The real reason was she just couldn't face Jack, not after her mom, not after... Kaylee grit her teeth and forced that red dot into oblivion.
Not now, Kay.
“That’s all?”Emma asked. She was squinting in Kaylee’s direction.
“What else would it be?”Kaylee answered, taking her new watch from the box and securing it on her wrist. She squinted through the gloom of the department store and her eyes caught a promising word. "I'm going to find some clothes."
What she really wanted was rest, to curl up on some warm, soft mattress under a blanket. No bumps from the road as she pretended to sleep in the motor home, no Emma chattering away at her, no Andrew sending her questioning glances, no never-ending dot, no red. But even when she tried sleeping, people were near her, watching her. As she lay there trying, she knew Andrew would be watching, Anna wondering. So even above sleep, what she needed was to be alone. This was her first opportunity and she refused to waste it.
"Toss the keys?" She nodded towards the padlock key swinging from Emma's pocket.
"You sure?" Her sister asked, eyeing her speculatively.
"Yeah, I'm gonna be a while."
Emma threw the keys towards her sister with a mumbled, "See you later then."
The beam of light from Kaylee's flashlight swept the empty halls. Ahead was a maze of suitcases, in the center of which stood an escalator forever frozen. Kaylee made for the frozen stairs, following the promise of the sign hung above it. In a nondescript font, the black letters shone plainly on the white sign: Bedding.
As she reached the top, she heard the last echoing squeak of Emma's sneakers against the tile floor as she disappeared back into the mall. Emma would pull and lock the security gate and Kaylee could undo it later when she was finished sleeping. A dozen beds, dressed in all the frills of shams and bed skirts and duvets were scattered around her, each sporting at least four pillows. She found the nearest one and collapsed.
She turned her flashlight off with an echoing click and stared up at the dark ceiling. The bedding was soft but smelled of dust. Still, it was better to be alone. Without the light, the blackness pressed against her. She closed her eyes, watched the red take over her vision and then blinked them open. It was so dark, she might as well have had her eyes closed, there was no way to see through the gloom. So she kept her eyes open, staring at the ceiling, as she felt the waves of exhaustion sweep her up in their tide.
It was a long while later that she awoke in the darkness. Her eyes must have slid closed at some undefinable point. She had no idea how long she had slept, but she felt better, felt focused. She stretched experimentally and she wasn't too stiff. She groped for her flashlight, knowing she had tucked it under the covers with her. With an audible click, the light cut through the dark. Across the opening in the floor from which the escalator rose, racks of lingerie caught in the beam of light, white and black and red and some ridiculous leopard print. She rose and began her shopping.
~
Kaylee walked right into a pile of suitcases, crying out when she stubbed her toe. The pile she had knocked into tumbled over and she dropped her armful of clothing onto the ground. She pulled her flashlight from her back pocket and swept the luggage, looking for a sturdy backpack.
She had no idea what time it was because, stupidly, she had let Emma walk away without first setting her watch. And without windows to see the sun, it was impossible to tell. But she couldn't hear any of the others and so she assumed they were still asleep. She found a pile of rugged looking back packs under a knocked over display of carry on Louis Vuitton and picked one out to stuff full of the clothing she gathered. It wasn't all for her, she took triple of all the necessaries, even having a little fun with the lingerie. She picked out a baby blue bra covered in cream lace in Emma's size that she knew her sister would hate. But it made Kaylee laugh, the sound ringing through the empty department store, so she packed it just to see the look on Emma's face when she pulled it out. Or Andrew's.
In addition to the clothing, fresh underwear and socks, long sleeved shirts and new jeans, Kaylee found a large selection of boots. She had several pairs, the laces tied together so she could sling them over her arm. She was both happy and sad to be ridding herself of her old sneakers. They were worn and comfortable, they formed to her feet so nicely, but they were also tattered and falling apart. She needed new ones, she knew it. But her sneakers had been with her from the beginning. All new clothes, new boots, new everything. Her city was behind her, no longer accessible. She fumbled in her pocket for her mother's medal and the padlock keys, placing them both carefully on the floor before she stripped her old clothing off and changed. She returned the medal and the keys to her new pocket, her fingers lingering over the cold, impressed surface of Saint Jude.
The lights overhead flickered and came to life, not all of them, some were shattered and others just seemed dead. But many hummed to life, causing Kaylee to squeeze her eyes at the sudden i
ntrusion of light, the whine of the florescent bulbs loud in the stillness.
She froze. Because suddenly, it wasn't the only sound.
China smashed. Lenox, Wedgewood, Waterford, crystal and flatware, Kaylee heard them all shatter as they hit the tile floor above her. The floor on which she had just taken a long nap. Alone. She thought she had been alone.
She wasn't now.
Kaylee had no idea how they got in. They could have been here the whole time and just woke now when the lights flickered on, or maybe there was a door to the outside they had missed when locking the place up. But it didn't really matter, because someone was already thudding down the escalator, skidding into the suitcases piled at the bottom. Another fell after the first and then the rest followed, a mass of people stumbling and sliding and writhing over one another and towards Kaylee. She counted at least a dozen before she turned away.
